Carpe Diem
by HarlequinnDaze
Summary: Sick. The past four years, that's all they've been able to tell me. My body is sick, and I am dying. As I make the move to live my last moments with my only remaining relatives, my uncle Charlie and cousin Bella, I plan to live my life the way no one wants me to. No more doctors, no more hospitals. I will live every day to the fullest, even if it kills me. JasxOC Set in NM.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! This is me trying to get back into writing. I want to work on my own works but I can't inspire myself to do it, so I decided to turn to fanfiction again for the time being. First OC fic ever published. Constructive criticism is welcome, unkindness or rudeness is not.**

 **Disclaimer (The only one I'll be posting this whole story): I don't own Twilight or any of the character, except for Gwendolyn. I just like to play with the story.**

 **Warnings: Dark themes, Blood, Language, Death, and possible mature content. 18+ is advised.**

* * *

Chapter 1

* * *

 _"I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life. To put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived."_

 _\- Neil Perry, Dead Poets Society_

* * *

"We want you to go spend time with your uncle."

I could understand that. Things weren't going well with my health as of late, and my family knew I had only a limited bit of time left.

"We already contacted Charlie," Janette said softly, reaching out to grasp my hand. "He was more than happy to take you in. He regrets only getting to spend time with you a couple times a year, he would love this chance to make up for lost time."

Charlie Swan. He was the best uncle any girl could ever ask for. Even when his sister, my mother, passed away while giving birth to me, he'd loved me like I was his own child. Sadly, after my birth and sudden orphan status happened, during the process of trying to gain custody over me, his wife, Renee, divorced him. He had to start dealing with his own divorce and custody rights over my younger cousin, Bella. He was the only family I had left, and when he'd been unable to take me I had to be put into the system. I could see in his eyes every time we visited each other that he regretted not fighting harder for custody of me.

"You don't have to go, Gwen," my adopted father, Lukas, said from across the room, his arms folded over his chest. I could see in his eyes that he would prefer I not go, that I spend my last moments there with them. "Charlie would understand if you decided to stay here… But it would be good for you to spend some extended time with him…"

The machine on the table beside me beeped, and I slowly removed the nebulizer mask from my face. The breathing treatment had helped the shallow breathing I'd been experiencing, but only so much. It opened up my lungs enough to make the action a bit more comfortable.

"I want to go," I said softly, and I could see the disappointment in their eyes. "I want to get to know Charlie and Bella more before… I can always have Charlie call you guys when it happens. Then you can be with me, too."

Janette's eyes were shimmering with tears. "We love you, sweetheart. Of course we'll be with you. We will always be a phone call away. And this is the furthest thing from a good bye."

I smiled, swallowing my own emotions. _Stop. I've come to terms with this. I'm wasting my time if I spend the last bit of it crying._

Lukas' shoulders dropped, and he walked forward to place a comforting hand on his wife's shaking shoulder. "Come on, Jan, we need to go prepare the flight. I can take care of the twins so that you can go there with Gwen for the first week."

Janette beamed at her husband through the tears, her face grateful and a tad lighter. "Thank you…"

I smiled at the two, and eased myself up and out of the kitchen chair. I could feel their concerned stares burning into the back of my neck as I walked out of the kitchen as normally as I could. I made my way into the living room, where the twins sat, pretending they hadn't been perched at the entry way and eavesdropping. I could tell by both of their faces that they'd heard everything.

Sierra was frowning, her face concentrated as she worked to fight her tears back as she stared at a blank spot on the wall.

Eric was sitting in the lounger, glaring at me, his arms crossed over his chest in a fashion very similar to his father. "You're leaving us!"

I cocked an eyebrow, plopping down next to Sierra. "I need to spend time with them, they're-"

"Not family like we are!" Eric spat out. "They may be your blood, but we've been your family more than they ever were!"

Shaking my head, I placed a hand on Sierra's leg, and she quickly took it. One tear slipped out of her façade, and her lip gave a quiver. "I know you two have only met Charlie sparingly, but he's a great man. A good uncle. Besides, I want to know more about my mom. There's so much more I need to ask him about her before I have to go."

Eric's eyes softened a little, but his glare didn't leave his face. "What are we supposed to do without you?"

Sierra then burst into tears, and I quickly tucked the younger girl into my arms, letting her get her emotions out. Truly, these two were my siblings through and through. Like Eric said, even though we weren't blood, we were just as good as any other family.

"Staying with Charlie and Bella won't be my end, and I'll come visit," I said, smiling. "And when it's time, you guys can come stay with me until it's over."

I brushed Sierra's cropped blond hair away from her face, and her tear stained face peaked up at me, her mascara running. Girl was only thirteen and knew more about makeup than I ever would. She was brilliant at it.

Looking back at Eric, I saw him sigh in defeat, a sign he couldn't keep holding on to his anger anymore. "Okay… We.. We'll miss ya, sis."

I smiled, feeling an ache in my heart that I knew wouldn't go away for a while. But, I wanted and needed to do this.

"I'll miss you, too."

* * *

The whole plane ride, I was itchy. I couldn't help it. My skin sometimes would crawl and scream for relief, like something beneath the surface needed to come out. It used to only happen a couple times a year, then once or twice a month, and now I was lucky if it only happened once a week. And, of course, it happened while I packed in on a plane with people all around me, like a tin of sardines.

Janette pulled out a small tube of lotion the second she saw me start scratching, which was the largest they'd allow us to bring on the plane even with all the hassle having to explain my rare condition. She squeezed a large dollop into my palm, and watched helplessly as I rubbed it onto both hands and began coating down my red streaked arms.

God, it hurt. Everything was on fire. Why did this have to happen now? The lotion only helped for a moment, but minutes after I'd be right back to square one.

 _Go away go away go away, weird disease. I'm getting stared at._ I pleaded in my head, knowing that there was no one listening.

The woman across the isle from me shifted uncomfortable in her seat, trying to edge further away from me.

"What, is your daughter some sort of tweaker?" A man seated behind us scoffed, obviously having seen me start to scratch.

Momma bear mode came out, and Janette perched herself so she could look him in the eye. "No, she's not. But I'd suggest you keep your comments to yourself, for they are unwanted. My daughter has a rare condition and that's all you even remotely deserve to know," she growled, turning away from the man's stammered apologies.

Ah, there it was. Now, those who'd heard what she had said were no longer watching me in disgust, but pity. I couldn't stand that much better, hating those stares.

 _Jesus, Janette. I know you're protective but did you need to say all that?_

I pulled my jacket back on, hoping the clothing barrier would help me stop scratching. I was clenching my fists so tightly in my lap that I could feel my nails breaking skin.

As the pilot came over the intercom and told us we'd began to descend into Seattle, I couldn't help but breath a large sigh of relief. As my ears popped with the dropping pressure, I felt my skin slowly begin to settle back into itself. I couldn't wait to see the number I'd done on myself this time, feeling some of my skin still stuck under my nails.

Janette rubbed my knee comfortingly, and I looked to her. I so admired her. She was a beautiful woman, still young. Her hair was a dirty blond, the same color the twins had gotten from her. It was wavy and beautiful, and when the sun hit it right you could see all the shades of blond and brown mixed into the strands. Her skin was lightly tanned, and without a single blemish. Add slender, emerald eyes into the mix and it wasn't hard to see why Lukas had fallen in love with her.

She was strong. When the doctor's told her that she and Lukas would have a very hard time conceiving, she instantly enrolled for foster care. When I ended up with them, it was almost a year after that she found out that she was pregnant with the twins. Thinking back on it, it was a miracle she'd kept me, let alone adopted me. I was almost three at the time, and she was going to have children of her own. But her and Lukas kept me, and raised me alongside the twins as their older sibling.

"Gwen, the plane has landed," Janette said softly, shaking my shoulder.

I snapped back to reality and saw we were the last two on the plane, the attendants at the front smiling patiently at us.

We quickly exited the plane and found the baggage claim. We stood with the other fliers, waiting to spot our bags come by on the conveyor belt.

I'd just pulled my second and final bag from the belt when I heard someone calling my name.

"Gwen!"

Looking over, I spotted my uncle Charlie weaving through the crowds of people, decked out fully in his sheriff uniform.

"Uncle Charlie!" I grinned, and raced into his arms.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, kiddo," he chuckled, holding me gently. "Let me do the running next time. But, I suppose you're a little more graceful than Bella."

I chuckled, knowing well of my cousin's infamous clumsiness.

Charlie pulled away, holding me at arms-length, giving me a full once over. He'd told me several times before that I was the spitting image of his sister. Russet brown hair in a tumbling mess of cork-screw curls, and the traditional Swan family brown colored eyes.

"You look great, Gwen," he said, but I could hear the note in his tone that said he could also tell I wasn't getting better.

My skin was always pale, but as of late it had become nearly white. The lack of pigment looked sickly on me, and there were dark circles around my eyes almost all of the time. There was no meat to my body, like I was wasting away. It was strange site, especially when you looked at pictures of my younger self and saw that I had leaned more towards the curvy, chubby side. Not anymore. My ribs were visible and my hips were nearly jagged without any cushion on them.

"Ahh, Charlie," Janette said, joining us now that she'd collected her bag off the conveyor belt. "It's so great to see you!"

They hugged, then pulled away. "Good to see you, too, Jan. I'm glad you could come stay for a bit."

Charlie stood awkwardly for a second, scratching the back of his head. "Well, it's a bit of a drive home and I'm afraid it'll be late by the time we get there. Any sort of take out you ladies are hungry for?"

I grinned cheekily at Janette, who gave me a tight lipped stare. She tried hard to feed me everything healthy, to try and build back my proper body fat and muscle. Lukas was the one who usually slipped me the occasional cheese burger or milkshake when her back was turned. Now, she could see that Charlie would be my enabler and she wouldn't be able to yell at him.

"McDonald's sounds fantastic, Uncle Charlie," I chirped happily.

* * *

Janette and Charlie chatted away in the front of his police cruiser, while I insisted on sitting in the back. It was kind of funny to think about people being arrested and held were I sat, but I really didn't mind too much. I was sure Charlie had the thing cleaned from time to time.

With a stomach full of fatty, mystery meat chicken McNuggets, I was feeling exhausted. I willed myself to fall asleep, desperately. It so much time and concentration to do so anymore, I was lucky to get three or four hours a night. I don't know I made due with it, but I had no choice.

However, the combination of the flight, full stomach, and gentle hum of the cruiser on the road lulled me into a gentle sleep. A couple times I stirred, once when Charlie had to make a sharp turn to get off the interstate and once more when I felt him carrying me into the house.

Janette and Charlie spoke softly, thinking I was still asleep, as Charlie laid me down on what felt like a couch. Someone removed my shoes and then a thick, soft blanket was laid over my form.

I waited until they'd moved to kitchen to open my eyes, sighing as sleep was seemingly lost to me now. Staring at the ceiling, I wondered how this new place would treat me. I'd always loved visiting Charlie in Forks, but usually when Janette and Lukas arranged our meetings, they had him come visit us in Montana. The change of scenery would be a welcome change, however, because in my mind Montana had too few trees for my liking.

I quickly feigned sleep once more as Charlie and Janette walked past and then went upstairs, obviously so that he could show Janette her room.

Rolling over to face the back of the couch, I sighed. Guess this would be another night of waiting for the morning to come.

* * *

Janette was very sad to leave, I could tell. As I settled into Charlie's home and the week grew shorter, she got more suffocating. While she was a very loving mom and person in general, I was almost ready for her to go. I couldn't even walk out the front door to explore the property without her wanting to tag along.

Now, she stood at the front door with Charlie, hugging what life I had left in me, out.

"Oh, I'm going to miss you so so much," she whispered, giving my forehead a kiss.

"I'll miss you, too, mom," I said. "Take care of Lukas and the twins. Lord knows what kind of state the house is going to be in when you get back."

She giggled. "Oh, I know he's probably spoiled them rotten. Better go whip all three of them back in line," she said with a wink.

I nodded, and she gave a sigh. She leaned over and enclosed me in another hug. Soon after, Charlie had her out the door and in his cruiser to take her back to the airport. I could tell that she wanted to linger more, had more things she'd wanted to say. But I think Charlie could see that it was overwhelming me, that I need to get space.

I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding, and stared around the empty house in contemplation.

Well, nearly empty.

I stared at the stairs, frowning. During my first week, I'd rarely seen hide nor hair of Bella. And when I did, she looked like she'd just watched a dog die. Charlie had explained to Janette and I about her boyfriend, Edward Cullen, moving with his family because his father got a better job. But he told us he expected the break up was more rocky than just a move, because when Edward had left Bella had become a little more than a shell. He'd warned us to avoid using Edward's name if we could, because it seemed to upset her more when he and his family were mentioned.

Feeling bad for my cousin, I contemplated what I should do. I could go outside for some fresh air, or see if I could provoke my cousin into talking to me.

Deciding on the latter, I walked to stairs. Staring at my obstacle with determination, I checked my pocket to double check that I had my inhaler there still. After confirming that it was still tucked into my jacket pocket, I began to pull myself up the stairs.

This is why I had to live on the first floor of basically anywhere. Even though my body was, indeed, weak, it was my lungs that made too much movement hard for me. Even ascending one set of stairs too quickly could take all the air out of my sales and leave my completely breathless. It was extremely frustrating, and just plain pitiful.

 _Come on, Swan._ I grit my teeth, seething out a labored puff of air. I still had half way to go.

I mentally cheered when I reached the top, but I almost instantly had to pull out my inhaler and take a couple puffs. Leaning against the corner, I let myself catch my breath. Better than stumbling into Bella's room with my face going purple.

 _Wouldn't that be a sight._ I gave a mental chuckle.

Summoning my strength, I realized this was my first time upstairs the whole week I'd been here. Charlie had changed a storage room on the first floor into my bed room, and it was right near the first floor bathroom. I'd never had a reason to make the ascent upstairs until now.

I turned to the first door I found and tapped my knuckle against it. "Bella? It's Gwen. Can I come in?" I asked in a loud voice.

I hear nothing from the other side and frowned. Maybe she was ignoring me? Or just didn't feel like talking. But, damnit, I didn't make the dreaded climb up to get rejected.

"Bella!" I said loudly. "Can I please come in? Stairs are hard, and I'd like a good distraction before I have to try and use them again."

"Uh… Gwen?" a voice said from behind me.

I flushed, and swung around as fast I could. Bella stood in the doorway of the room across the hall, which meant I had been knocking and shouting at an empty room.

"…I knew that wasn't your room, I was just testing you," I blurted.

Bella looked at me blankly, but the corners of her lips twitched upwards.

I mentally cheered. I'd made zombie-Bella smile! Well, as close to a smile as I was going to get from her, I believed.

She shuffled, biting her lower lip, then made room in the doorway. "Come on in."

I smiled at her brightly, making way into her room. Instantly, I loved it. A gentle purple color seemed to be the main theme, but with a touch that just screamed Bella. A bit of close strewn about, a full book shelf, and computer older than I was setting on an oak desk in the corner. Very earthen and classic, like I always remembered my cousin to be.

Frowning, I noticed the chair plopped in front of the window to her room, the one that looked out at the front of the house. It was very out of place, and sat there purposefully. Had she just been sitting in the chair, doing nothing up here?

I turned back to Bella, who was rubbing her arm awkwardly. "Uh.. You can sit wherever, sorry about it being messy."

"Messy, my dear Bella, is fine with me," I said, pulling myself onto her queen bed with a small noise of effort. "Life is best with a little clutter. When stuff is too organized things aren't quite as fun."

She watched me with those dead, brown eyes and for a moment I was reminded of a dead deer. Whenever Lukas and the twins went hunting, they usually bagged at least one doe a year during the winter hunting season. And when they'd bring it back, sometimes I'd hangout with Lukas in the garage as he skinned and bled out the deer. And they all had the same dead, glassy eyed stare my cousin was giving me right now.

 _Good grief. All over a boy?_

Bella walked over to her depression chair and paused, before turning it to face me and then sitting down carefully. "Did you need something, Gwen?"

I shook my head, languidly stretching out on her bed. "Not really… I wanted to talk to you. I haven't seen much of you since I got here."

Bella blinked slowly, and I kept think about dead deer.

"I… I'm sorry, Gwen. I'm really not going to be much fun to hang around… I'm trying, I am," she said in a strained tone, and I had a feeling she gave Charlie the same excuse a lot.

I stared at my cousin. "Bella, let me be frank with you."

Her face straightened, and I think she was trying not to glare at me. "Listen, Gwen, Ed-.. he, he wasn't-"

"I don't care about that," I said sternly, and she looked like she'd been jabbed in the gut. "You have your right to mourn your feelings. I'm not going to tell you not to do that. But, hear me out."

Bella watched me with sad eyes, and I could tell she was trying not to relive whatever pain was haunting her.

"I'm dying, Bella," I sighed.

She stared at me, then nodded softly. "Charlie… he told me. Lukas and Janette don't think you'll make it another year."

I pursed my lips. Well, Janette and Lukas hadn't told me that exactly, but I could've guessed as much.

"True, I probably won't," I agreed. "My body is rejecting just about everything that doctors have tried to fix it. It rejects food, I'm getting weaker by the day, and I'm only getting my days worth of breath when I take at least three treatments a day and keep an inhaler at my side."

"I'm sorry," she said, and I almost snorted at how strained she sounded.

Shaking my head, I continued. "Don't be sorry. I just want your help."

"What could I possibly do?" she whispered, brows furrowing.

"Help me live, Bella," I said. "Ever since this started four years ago I've been sheltered like a half cracked mirror. I love Janette, Lukas, and the twins with all my heart. But with them, I would've died like a caged bird. I want to experience things before I go. I'm eighteen years old and I've spent the last four years doing nothing but spending my life in and out of hospitals. I want to live before I die."

Bella looked at me, her eyes tearing. "I don't know, Gwen, I… I."

"You need this, too," I said, sternly. "You're withering away up here, Bella. I'm not asking you to make a one-eighty. I'm asking you to try and to come with me while I live."

She was practically gnawing on her lip, eyes cast down to the floor.

"If not for me, do it for Charlie. He loves you a lot, you know. He just wants to see you start living again," I said softly, knowing I was playing quite the dirty card against her.

Bella looked back up at me, and for the first time since I'd got her, her stare was less like a dead deer's and more like a human. A sad human, but human, none-the-less.

"What did you want to do first?"

* * *

 **Alice Cullen**

* * *

Humming softly, I gently trimmed the stems of the roses in my hand, smiling as I placed them into the vase in front of me.

It was in the middle of helping Esme arrange flowers in the kitchen when the vision hit me with the force of a storm. The stained glass vase in my hands shattered, not because it'd been dropped, but because I'd squeezed it much too hard in my super human grasp.

The world around me faded away, my vision ebbing into fog as I delved right into the force of the vision. I could see someone staring at me, but she was blurred like a bad photograph. Her face was like a blank slate, not a single detail revealed to me. She was holding onto someone, someone I knew and loved dearly, and they were both giggling happily.

Bella was clutching the girl to her side like they'd been best friends their whole lives, but my enhanced sight could see that she was actually supporting most of the girl's body weight, like she feared that the girl would just drop if she let go.

Black shrouded them, and suddenly I could hear machines beeping and buzzing. The hum of electricity felt alive in the air, static tingling at my fingers tips and through my body. The beeping sounded like medical equipment, but I could be for sure. I had no sight in this vision, so I listened, instead.

" _How can this happen, Carlisle?"_

It was Jasper's voice, sharp and strong as he seemed to be interrogating our adopted father.

 _"I had no idea that this was even possible."_

Carlisle's voice sounded curious and awed, like it usually did when he discovered something new or was learning something unknown to him.

Suddenly, while they were still talking, I doubled over like I'd been punched in the gut. My legs and arms felt like it was itching, burning. Something was trying to crawl out of my skin. It hurt so badly, I'd never felt anything like it. I needed to scratch, I needed to make it stop.

I was screaming over the sound of their talking, unable to take any of it in as I desperately tried to pull myself out of the vision.

All the sound whooshed away like a vacuum had been opened, leaving a starling silence for just a couple seconds, and everything around me suddenly turned on, like a light switch had been flicked. The pain was instantly gone, and I was standing on a large and tall root of a tree in a lush forest, watching the scene below me unfold.

The blurred girl was there, but she was no longer needing the support of anyone to stand. She was running through the forest, just as fast as us, and weaving through the trees like she was dancing. Peals of bell like laughter followed her like a trail, and she sounded like a bird freed from a cage. She was so free, and I could feel a grin stretching on my face as I felt her joy surrounding me.

A very familiar figure was chasing after her almost lazily, but he was smiling. Jasper watched the girl attentively, his honey eyes darkened as he followed the girl.

I felt a pang in my heart as it dawned on me what the vision was telling me, and I laid a hand over my chest. I watched them from the tall tree root with mixed feeling, a small smile on my face as I watched Jasper start to chase the girl like he was stalking prey, her contagious laughter floating through the wind.

Everything began to ebb away, and I felt myself resurfacing from the vision fast and loud, like I was being practically thrown out of it.

I almost wanted to gasp as my real sight came back to me. I was sitting in someone's lap, no longer in the kitchen but in the living room. All the family sat around me, look at me with concerned faces. All of them, but one, who I could tell was still upstairs in his room.

"Are you alright, Ali?" Jasper asked, slowly releasing the hold he had on my waist.

I popped out of his lap and began to pace, my brain a buzz of thoughts and emotions.

"You were mumbling in your vision, Alice," Esme said softly, her golden gaze shining with concern. "I've never seen you do that before."

"I've never felt one so intimately before," I admitted, seeing Carlisle cock his head.

"You felt pain through the vision?" he asked quickly.

I nodded. "I think I was someone else. I was in their body, and they hurt so badly. It felt like the change but so different. I don't know what to think of it."

"Who was in the vision?" Carlisle prodded.

My heart clenched, and I felt Jasper's power shower me with a wave of cool, careful calmness.

"A girl I'd never seen before. I saw… I saw Bella, briefly," I admitted, sadly.

Edward was down the stairs before I even finished saying her name.

My brother was quite the sight to behold. His eyes were nearly black, because it had been over a month since he'd hunted. His clothes were wrinkled and I knew for a fact that he hadn't changed out of those since his last hunt, either. They didn't stink, since vampires don't sweat, but it was still a tacky move on his part.

He ran a hand through his disheveled hair, his dark eyes on me. "Alice…"

I put my hands up in a defensive motion. "I wasn't looking for her, Edward! I swear! I know what you asked and I have honored that. But seeing this girl… Obviously she involves us all, Edward. Otherwise, I wouldn't have seen it."

He stared at me, then looked away, his dark eyes reflecting pain. He moved like he was about to go back to his cave of a room and hide, when Esme tentatively reached out from her position on the loveseat to touch his hand.

Flinching as though burned, he stared down at our mother. "Esme…"

"Come hunting with me, son," she said with a watery smile, her concern shining through. "Please."

We all watched him for his response, especially Rosalie, who felt he was being a child. If he refused Esme now, Rose was likely to try and rip his arm off. She blamed him for how the atmosphere of the house had felt since we'd arrived here. She wasn't like to let him get away with making our mother sadder.

"Okay," he said softly, and she beamed.

I wanted to thank her. I know she did it for Edward's health, but also that I could talk to the family about my vision without him interrupting every time I even thought of Bella's name.

The two were suddenly gone, and I heard them jumping over the river just behind the forest line. Soon, they were out of hearing, and mind reading, range.

Sighing with relief, I began to explain to the rest of the family about my vision. I left out the last part of it, knowing that I would have to talk to Jasper about that last bit when we were alone. I explained how she was completely shrouded to me, not fully unlike Bella, at times. While Bella had been fully immune to Edward's power, I could still see her in visions, most of the time. Sometimes she was more blurry and hard to see, but I'd never had her full hidden from me.

After I was done, I could see the family contemplating.

"I say we let this go," Rose finally said with a shrug. "Edward's not going to want to go back to Forks, he's determined on this. If she was that important, I think you'd have seen more than just that. Besides, just hearing some stuff isn't really worth it. Maybe you accidentally latched onto Bella's future and this girl is her friend. Maybe the pain you felt was her dying. It happens. She's human."

Emmett place a arm around Rose's shoulders, and she stopped. She knew Emmett wasn't happy about leaving Bella, either. She'd been a friend to him, nearly like a sibling. And while Rosalie, herself, couldn't understand Bella and thus disliked her, wouldn't say more to prevent further upsetting her mate.

I pursed my lips. It's true, Rosalie could've been right, except for the last piece of the vision. That was solely about the girl, and about Jasper. There was no denying the importance of it.

Instead of arguing, I shrugged. "Maybe you're right… Jas?"

My husband was up in less than a second, standing right behind me. "Yes?"

"Let's go hunt," I said with a pang of sadness, feeling his large hand enclose around mine.

I could feel the spike of curiosity he forced at me, and I understood that he knew that we needed to talk. Privately, away from the family.

We walked out the front door and ran in the opposite direct that Esme and Edward went, our hands intertwined.

Fate truly was a cruel and strange mistress, it seemed.

* * *

 **Okay, so here was chapter one. I did skim over a couple times for proof reading and I'll do so a couple more times again while tying to write the next chapter. Sorry for any errors, I tend to type fast and a bit erratically when I'm actually inspired to write.**

 **Please drop a review, even if it's just some help. I will be trying my best for this fanfic.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**And, here we are. I'm really excited for this story, and I'm very thankful for those who review, favorited, and followed this story in just the first 24 hours. You guys really helped inspired me finish and pump out this second chapter so quickly, so thank you for the inspiration!**

* * *

Chapter 2

* * *

 _"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to."_

 _\- J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings_

* * *

"This is what you meant by living?" I heard Bella grumbling, as she made her fourth trip down the stairs.

"Living isn't always big stuff, Bella," I said, grinning. "Sometimes it's small stuff with big impact. Besides, Charlie will be home from Seattle at any moment. And he can't know what we're up to when we do the big stuff, or he'll make us stop."

Bella dumped the blankets and pillows in her arms on the living room floor with the rest of the pile, looking slightly disheveled. "You have a point… I really don't think anyone is going to be happy with what I agreed to do."

"Except me," I said, gratefully. "Like I said, we start small, and work our way up when we have more time."

We began arranging the pillows and blankets into a nest on the floor, having taken the coffee table and moved it out of the way so that there was more room. Soon, we both had a nice, plush spot to sit and a blanket to cover up with if we wanted.

While I was plucking movies out of Charlie's shelf next to the television, Bella wandered into the kitchen.

 _"Let's do a movie night!" I chirped, grinning at the look on her face._

 _"You've never had one before?" Bella asked doubtfully, raising a brow._

 _"I've had plenty," I admitted. "When you have two younger siblings you like spending time with, movie nights become a tradition. And I'm not about to let that tradition die just because I moved. We can watch whatever movies you wanna watch!"_

 _Bella sighed, and got up from her depression-chair like it nearly exhausted her._

 _I pulled out my puppy eyes, and she snorted. "Fine, fine. But it'll be horror. Charlie's got a whole collection downstairs. Other than that he just has a lot of old westerns."_

 _"Perfect!" I crowed, and, with Bella's assistance, made my way out of the room and down stairs to begin to prep._

I pulled out a whole collection of classic horror movies. Friday the 13th, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Hellraiser, and several other notable titles. Plenty enough for not only one movie night, but several more to come.

Movie night was probably the furthest from what Bella'd expected me to suggest. She was probably expecting something more extreme or outgoing, but reinstating my movie night tradition wasn't just for my own enjoyment. I wanted to get to know my cousin, and even though we'd be watching television the whole time, we'd be spending the time, together. It gave her less time to mope about her ex and distracted me from my body.

I took in a sharp breath, feeling it catch in my throat.

My eyes watered as my throat prickled, and I tried to suppress the coughing fit coming on. It came out in a few harsh, wheezing coughs. I could hear Bella call for me in concern from the kitchen, and I quickly toddled my way in through the doorway.

I pulled my nebulizer from the space on the counter that Charlie had cleared for me, and plugged it in before plopping it on the table along with a box of the solution.

Bella, trying to hide her curiosity, watched me from the corners of her eyes as she tried to keep an eye on the popcorn she'd been making over the stove top. She was full on staring by the time I'd emptied a small vial of medicine into the machine's cup, then placed the mask over my face.

I flipped the switch on the side and the machine began to hum, giving me the air and medicine my lungs were screaming for.

My eyes met hers, and we both looked away. I couldn't very well talk while doing my treatment, not unless I wanted to waste even a bit of the medicine. But it wasn't like I had anything to say about it, either. Maybe something witty or snarky, but nothing useful. We'd already covered the base that I'm here for only a short time, there wasn't much more for me to say.

Bella took the puffed up popcorn tray from the stove once it'd began to quit popping quite as much, placing it on the cooled burned next to it as she clicked the used on off. She wandered over, and gently picked up my medicine box.

"Albuterol and ipratropium?" She said softly, reading it. "Does it work?"

I lifted a hand and shook it in a "so-so" manner.

She fell back into silence and began putting the popcorn in a bowl, grabbing a couple pieces of candy from what she said was Charlie's "secret" stash. Meaning hidden in the baking supply cupboard just behind the cocoa and baking powder.

 _I'll have to remember that spot for the future._ I mused, grabbing the candy bar Bella gave me and turning off the nebulizer.

I quickly unplugged it and put it back, and we headed back for the living room.

"Where do we want to start?" I chirped, carefully getting myself down onto the nest on the floor and making myself comfy. "We could always go old school, watch our way up Freddy and Jason's movies and then have a nice finish of Freddy vs Jason?"

Bella nodded. "Whatever you feel like, Gwen."

I frowned, watched as she popped the first Nightmare on Elm Street movie, the original one with young Johnny Depp, and settled down on the floor with me. She'd practically given me the whole large bowl of popcorn, not placing it between us but practically at my hip. Her candy bar also sat close to me, like she'd gotten it all for only me to eat.

 _Charlie said she hadn't been eating much but the basics._ I remembered, my fingers drumming against my side. I could feel them connecting with one of my ribs through my shirt and skin.

I looked at Bella, who was staring at the TV but looked hundreds of miles away. We were only a half hour in, but I was both concerned and frustrated. Bella's brain, it seems, was still sitting in that stupid chair upstairs and looking out the window.

 _We've got a long way to go with this._ I realized.

When Charlie got home, we were in the third Friday the 13th movie, having decided to bounce between the two series to keep ourselves interested, and Bella actually seemed a bit more focused. She was chuckling along with me at the cheesy, old acting and bad special effects.

Charlie looked like someone had just told him he'd won the lottery.

He shuffled awkwardly in the doorway for a moment, almost like he didn't know if coming into the living room would frighten Bella back upstairs again. But, he eventually stepped out of his boots and shrugged off his jacket, coming into the room and settling on the couch behind us without much of a word.

I looked at him over my shoulder, smiling.

He gave me a thankful thumbs up, and I felt guilty.

If only he'd knew what I'd asked Bella to help me with. He wouldn't have been as thankful, nor nearly as easy to manipulate after that.

I really didn't want to think of it as manipulating. Hanging out with Bella to do things I shouldn't be allowed to do with my health. But, I couldn't deny that I wasn't aware that helping Bella out of her shell would also help give me a better blessing from him to leave the house. I wished I could explain it all to him, tell him the same thing I told Bella, that I just wanted to live again. But I knew that if he caught wind of any of the things I had tucked up my sleeve, he'd keep me on house arrest on his own terms. He was like Janette and Lukas in that aspect.

They wanted me around for a long time. I could understand that. But what they didn't understand was that sheltering me may have meant keeping me for a long time, but not for a good time.

I loved my adopted family and my uncle and cousin deeply, but I've spent the last four years doing inside, safe things. Reading, video games, movies, and more. And I liked them, they were fun to an extent, but I wanted to feel normal. I wanted to do normal teenager things and I wanted to feel like I'd lived a life worth living, no matter how shorter it could end up being because of that.

"Hey, which one of you found my secret stash?" Charlie suddenly grumped as the movie credits began to roll, staring at the empty candy bar wrappers next to me.

Bella and I looked at each other, and we both began to laugh. Bella's was short, and more like a chuckle, but it was better than nothing and it was good to see and hear.

 _We'll get there, cousin. I promise. We're both going to enjoy life again._

* * *

Bella had to go back to school the next day, and Charlie had left for work even earlier than that. I had been awake the whole time, reading in my room as quietly as I could so that neither of them realized I was awake. When I heard Bella's footsteps come down the stairs, I smiled to myself and marked my spot in my book.

Throwing back my covers, I made my way out of my room, which was connected to a small hallway that went under the stair case, leading to my room and the downstairs bathroom.

I found Bella leaning against the counter, giving the wall a good thousand-yard stare and absentmindedly chewing on a plain honey oat granola bar. She was dressed in plain jeans and a dark red, long sleeved shirt, a back pack sitting on the floor next to her. Her eyes found mine as she saw me enter the room.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" she asked me. "You don't go to school anymore, right?"

I shook my head. "No, graduated homeschooling halfway through last year. But, I don't sleep, really. Not anymore. I don't know why."

Her face looked strained when I talked about how I couldn't sleep, and she nodded slowly. "If… If you hear me at night, I'm sorry."

 _Ah, the nightmares._

I nodded. "Yes, Charlie had to warn Janette and I before we arrived. He didn't want us to get scared if we heard you in the middle of the night."

"Is it the pain that keeps you up?" she asked me, obviously diverting the subject from herself.

Shrugging, I settled at the dining table after putting a pack of poptarts in the toaster. "Sometimes, but not usually. It's like… I feel tired, but can't. My body and mind just don't, no matter how much I try."

"Doesn't anything help?" she asked, finish her granola bar.

"Melatonin did for like the first couple months, when we realized something was wrong," I made to get up to retrieve my poptarts, but Bella quickly walked across the room and plated them for me. "Thanks. After that they tried a couple prescription sleeping meds but they didn't work."

"Prescription ones didn't work?" she asked, surprised.

I shook my head. "They made me like a zombie. I got extremely drowsy, like I was supposed to, but then wouldn't hardly sleep. I'd spend hours waiting for the damn things to wear off, because they made my head so foggy I couldn't even focus on anything. It was like I was moving in slow motion."

Bella nodded in understand, then looked at the clock on the oven. "Well, I should go. I'll be late."

I gave her a smile, a very devious smile.

She narrowed her eyes at me. "What?"

"Bellaaa," I said, stretching the 'a' out a little. "Let me drive your big red monster truck, please. I'll drop you off and come pick you up."

Bella stared at me. "Do you even have your license?"

"Yup!" I chirped. "Lukas and I went behind Janette's back and got me both my permit and my license. While I am a frail person, I have enough functionality to drive."

Bella pursed her lips. "Where are you going to go with it while I'm at school?"

 _Damn, caught._

"Just around town," I soothed. "I'm not going anywhere fun without you. I just want to explore a bit. Besides, if I go too far I'd probably get lost."

Bella held up her hands in surrender. "Fine, fine."

I cheered, and quickly got dressed while Bella waited for me at the front door. I threw my mess of curls up in a ponytail, then dressed up in some jeans, a t-shirt, and then a warm flannel to combat the cold.

It took Bella about five full minutes to explain to me all the weird noises her truck made and telling me that they didn't really mean anything, just that it did that sometimes. It would sound scary to most, but Bella explained it all calm and with a completely straight face. I almost wanted to laugh at her descriptions and warnings, but pretty soon we were rolling down the road in the loud rust bucket towards the high school.

Bella was watching the scenery go by out the passenger window, giving directions when she needed to.

Forks was, indeed, a very small town, because we made it to the school in nearly five minutes.

 _Good lord this thing is a monster, but it sure fits in._

There wasn't a single new looking car in the lot, all of them older models like Bella's and some even rustier and less trustworthy looking than hers. Students were littered all over the lot, mostly in groups huddled together against the gentle rain that had been coming down since early morning.

I quickly parked in the closest spot to the door I could find, and saw we were being stared at by quite a few students. "What's up with these guys?"

Bella shrugged. "They're all like that. Word of new things instantly spread around here. The whole school probably already knows you've moved in with Charlie and I. Plus… they know about me and Ed.. My ex. It makes them stare."

She trailed off, her face falling.

"Do they tease you?" I asked, gently. "Because he left?"

She shook her head quickly. "Not to my face, at least. But they don't understand. And they want me to just rebound and act like nothing ever happened… That's what everyone wants from me, anymore."

I watched her pity party for a moment. "…do you want me to beat them up?"

Bella snorted, a very long and un-lady like noise that made me grin.

"C'mon, you know I've got really pointy elbows. I just gotta jab 'em a few times and they'll all go down without a second thought," I continued, smiling as she laughed.

"Maybe some other time," she chuckled, and hopped out of the truck. "See you at three, then?"

"Yep!" I said, popping the 'p'. "And ol' Red Monster here won't have a single dent or scratch to see… aside from the one's she's already got."

Rolling her eyes, Bella waved at me and then walked towards one of the buildings on the small campus. Everyone was still staring as I pulled out of the parking spot and drove off, obviously realizing that the someone new they'd heard about was me.

I turned out on to the road and instantly cranked up the radio, thankful that Forks could get a decent reception from one of Seattle's rock radio stations.

Drumming my fingers against the steering wheel, I wondered where to go first as I drove away from the school. I could probably explore the whole town in just a few hours, but I wanted to take my time.

Seeing a somewhat familiar café down the road, I smiled.

* * *

 **Alice Cullen**

* * *

Jasper folded his arms over his chest, a dead mountain lion laying at his feet. The neck was cracked at the perfect angle, meaning it'd died without feeling any pain. There was a small drop of blood staining the collar of his button up shirt, but even that would be unseen to the normal human eye.

"Why do you want to do this all of a sudden, Alice?" he asked, his beautiful face folded into a frown.

I removed my mouth from the neck of a deer I'd caught, staring softly into it glassy, dead eyes for a moment. I let the body fall from my grasp, hearing the normal sick thud as the limp body hit the ground, and I gently wiped a bit of blood from the corner of my mouth. I was usually an immaculate eater, but something inside me felt like a storm. I'd not cared whether I had been careful or not this hunt, all I knew was that I was the storm to quiet down.

"Jas, we've had an amazing time together, but we knew from the start that we weren't meant to be," I told him, turning to face my husband.

It was silent for a moment then, and I took in the scene around me.

The sun had just started to set, and the gentle orange glow was breaking through a spot in the treetops. His left hand, caught in the light, shimmered like a multifaceted diamond.

"It was the vision," he stated, moving closer to me. "What else did you see, Alice?"

I flinched. "I can't… I'm not for sure. I think I'm right, and if I am, it's not right for me to stay with you anymore, Jas."

Everything hurt so bad. We were so attached, and once in love. It was more of a friendly thing than a real romance anymore, but add it to the number of lifetimes we'd spent together and it all meant so much. Letting it go was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do in my life as a vampire.

He was suddenly in front of me, his finger curled under my chin. He tilted my head to look up at him, and I know he could feel my frustration and pain. His hand grabbed mine, and gave a comforting squeeze. "I won't press you anymore, Ali. I know well enough by now to trust you."

I laughed. "That's the truth."

He kissed my forehead, and my heart gave a pained squeeze, knowing I would never feel those lips on mine again. But, deeply, I was happy for him. If I was right, and I almost always was, he would find the person in his life that he needed. While our relationship certainly helped us both mutually, this new girl would be the one to heal him fully.

She would complete him.

"At least we don't need to sign any paperwork," I joked. "We haven't gotten officially married in quite a few years. Sad, too, because I had my eye on this beautiful designer wedding dress."

He chuckled. "I'm sure you did. You can always buy it for when you find your true mate, Ali."

"Jasper!" I gasped. "You know me better! By that time, it'll be out of season!"

Playfully, he rolled his eyes. "Sure, sure. I'm going to grab a couple more deer. I'll meet you back at the house, Alice."

That was Jasper speak for him needing time alone to think. I watched him go, and felt myself sigh softly. As painful as this all felt, I would do it over a hundred times for him. He was not just my husband, but my best friend. He'd been my partner in crime for so long, it would be hard to act as just a single being again.

I placed my hands on my hips, humming in thought.

 _Now, how to get him to Forks?_

* * *

 **Gwen Swan**

* * *

"So, you're Charlie's niece?" the nice waitress asked me, placing a plate loaded with pancakes and strawberries in front of me.

I nodded, smiling. "Yes… When I used to visit, he'd take me here a lot."

She smiled back, replacing my empty French cappuccino with a new one, topped with silky whipped cream. "This one's on the house, okay sweetie? And, of course he did, without his business and the other men on the police force, we'd have been closed years ago."

We shared a laugh.

"Let me know if there's anything else you need, sweetie," she said cheerfully, spinning on her heal and walking towards the other occupied table in the room, a sweet elderly couple that apparently ate either lunch or breakfast at the diner every single day.

It pretty much looked the same as I remembered. Classic red leather booths, old timey tiling on the floor, and very classic bar with round leather stools. I remember Charlie perching Bella and I each on one of those stools as we slurped down milkshakes. It was one of my favorite memories from one of my few visits to Forks, especially since it was before I was ever sick.

I cut pieces off of the large, fluffy stack of pancakes and speared them on my fork, along with a couple strawberries. I hummed with content as I ate the delicious, sugary meal, staring at the forest line from my view out the window.

 _I want to go in there someday._ I concluded. _Maybe I can convince Bella to hike with me? As long as she lets me wrap her in bubble wrap, though._

My phone started ringing in my flannel pocket, and I quickly pulled it out. "Uncle Charlie" flashed across the screen, and I quickly hit the answer button.

"Hi, Uncle Charlie!" I greeted, swallowing down a mouthful of warm cappuccino and smooth cream.

"Hey kiddo, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to make home for lunch. I know it must be boring being home by yourself, but we've got a mountain of paperwork all of us are trying to get through. Some dimwit kid has been putting the reports in the wrong cabinet and now the whole thing's out of order," Charlie said, and from his tone I could tell that the "dimwit kid" was most likely in the room and could hear him perfectly well.

I look down at my plate guiltily. "Uh, yeah. It's okay, Charlie. I'm used to it. Just doing some more reading from Bella's books."

"Alright, kid," I could hear the relief in his tone. "I'll finish this up, do my last couple hours of patrol and be home around five, then. Have a good rest of your day."

"You, too, Uncle Charlie."

We hung up and I sighed with relief. Thankful that he didn't go home to check on me. I don't know what he'd think about me driving, let alone driving Bella's monster truck, around by myself.

I could practically hear all the things Janette would say about it.

 _"What if you had an attack on the road?! You know how easy it is for your lungs to lose their steam."_

Finishing up my plate, I quickly paid and left the waitress a nice tip before carefully climbing back into the truck. I sat in the cab for a moment, catching my breath from the climb in, and thinking about whether I should go back home or explore around some more.

Charlie wouldn't even be home until after I had to pick up Bella, so I decided to just drive. I would come back in time to put some gas back into Bella's truck and pick her up. Just a drive sounded nice, something I had never actually gotten the chance to do all by myself. Even when Lukas had taught me and gotten me my license, I was only ever allowed to go when he was home and able to go along with me. I'd never gotten to experience the serenity of driving alone and enjoying the scenery by myself.

Soon I was cruising all around Forks with the windows cracked and the radio turned up. I was singing softly to the songs, trying to keep my breath in check as I happily drove through the town. It was so relieving, and the feeling of freedom that pumped through me was nearly addicting. I'd never known that such a simple experience could fill me with so much content.

Eventually, I stopped seeing houses and knew I was driving around the outskirts of Forks, passing several hiking trails and large winding paths that disappeared into the tree lines. The pure greenery and tall trees of Forks were amazing to see.

Everything was lush and green, most likely from the near constant rain that Forks witness all year round. In Montana, I'd never got to see a forested area quite this pretty. Southern Montana had most of the good forests, and we'd lived in the North-Eastern part in a decent sized city.

I felt so calm, so happy. Wind in my hair, I was breathing decently, and the view all around me was gorgeous. I didn't know how long I'd been driving around the forests and mountains surrounding Forks, but the whole thing felt like a good dream.

Then, suddenly I saw red and blue lights flashing in my rearview mirror.

 _Well, shit._

* * *

 **Bella Swan**

* * *

I was just reaching my first class after lunch when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I stopped before reaching the classroom doorway, feeling the eyes of some of my classmates as they passed me to get into the room.

Gwen's name flashed across the screen, and I unlocked the phone so that I could view the message. For a second, my heart was in my throat. What if she'd wrecked, or gotten sick in the car? So many things could've gone wrong.

 _Dammit, it'll be all my fault._

I knew I shouldn't have agreed to help her do things beyond her capability. But I felt so bad for her. She deserved to be able to live her life how she wanted, especially with the short amount of time she had.

Finally, I got the message pulled up and felt my heart sink.

 _ **'Mayday, mayday. Charlie pulled me over thinking I was you ditching school. He mad, and coming for you next. Hide, change your name, and I'll meet you in Mexico.'**_

I wanted to laugh at her text, but I knew that when I got home we'd be getting an earful. And I definitely wasn't wrong. But I was more grateful that nothing bad had happened to her while she'd drove around by herself. I didn't want to let her in that much into my life, because I knew she wouldn't full understand how Edward and his family had impacted my life, but there was just something about my sickly cousin that touched my heart, and made me want to start trying to live again. It would be a long road, especially if, at the end of it, Gwen was meant to die. Something inside me felt sickened at the thought.

The rest of the day flew by quicker than I'd really wanted it to, and when I got out of my last class, Charlie's cruiser was parked in the lot. It stood out vividly amongst all the old, hand-me-down cars all the teens here got.

He was leaning against the hood, his arms folded over his chest as he watched students filing out of the building.

His eyes found mine, and I instantly felt scolded by the look in them. It'd been a long, long time since I'd ever done anything the make Charlie actually mad at me.

Ears burning, I quickly walked over and got into the passenger seat without a word. We hadn't even gotten to doing anything remotely dangerous and we were already in trouble.

* * *

 **Gwen Swan**

* * *

"Anything I say can and will be held against me in a court of law, right?" I prodded tentatively, watching as Charlie and Bella come through the front door.

Charlie gave me a very parent-like glare than didn't fit his kind face at all, and I stopped talking for the moment. Bella quickly slid off her shoes and put down her backpack, sitting next to me on the couch. I could tell she felt a bit bothered by all of this, but she almost looked relieved for some reason.

"Gwen," Charlie sighed, and then pinched the bridge of his nose. "…Do you even have a license to drive?"

"Yessir, but the registration is in Bella's glove box if you're going to need that, too," I said, and thrust my card towards him, for I had been holding it in my palm ever since he left to get Bella from school. If I was going to defend myself in this case I need all the ammunition I could have.

He gave me a blank stare, not even taking my driver's license. "This isn't funny, Gwendolyn Marie Swan. You lied to me."

I flinched at the use of my full name. "Aw, Uncle Charlie…"

"It's not her fault," Bella said quietly. "I let her drive me and take the truck."

I protested. "Hey, hey, I coerced you. I'm super convincing, and all of that good stuff. You didn't stand a chance."

Charlie was watching us and looking like an utterly defeated parent.

"Uncle Charlie," I said calmly, "Driving isn't going to make me keel over anytime soon. Besides, Forks is calm and nearly traffic-less."

"Jan and Lukas have trusted me to keep you safe, Gwen," Charlie groaned, running a palm over his mustache. "I know how sensitive your body can be, they gave me the full brief of that before you'd even agreed to some live with us. If anything happened…"

"Charlie, I always have my inhaler with me. And my phone," I pleaded. "I'm in no worse condition driving than I am sitting cooped up in my room. I just want a little more freedom, please. I know what Janette and Lukas have asked you to do, but I just want to live as normally as I can."

Charlie stared at me, and I was mentally willing him to break.

 _Please say okay, please, please, please._

A very defeated sigh came from him. "Fine, fine."

I cheered.

"But," he said, pointing a finger at me, and I instantly stilled. "You're not going to be driving Bella's truck anymore. It's too tall for you to be climbing in and out of again. I'll call my friend Billy and see if there is anything cheap and shorter on the reservation."

"Wait, I'll have my own car?" I asked, awed. "Are you serious, Uncle Charlie?"

He looked at the ceiling. "Janette is going to kill me, I can feel it…," he looked back at me. "I don't have a lot saved, but we can find you something suitable for cruising around. And only cruising. You'll not go to Seattle alone. If you're going to drive far out of Forks I'm requiring you have Bella or myself with you. I don't want to catch you up in the mountains all by yourself again."

"Deal!" I said instantly, then grinned.

Charlie shuffled, then sighed again. "I'm going to go ring Billy and see what he can find for us."

"Thank you so much, Charlie!" I'd already pulled myself off the couch and was making my way across the floor.

He met me halfway and hugged me. "Anytime, Gwen. I just want you to be safe."

"I know," I whispered.

Charlie pulled away and left the room to go make his phone call, and I turned to look at Bella, who was watching with a very small smile on her face, leaning forward with her arms on her knees.

"Soo… I've already started making a list of all the stuff I want to do," I told her, once I heard Charlie start talking on the phone.

Bella sighed. "Even after already getting in trouble once, you still want to go through with all of this?"

"Of course."

She looked away, then nodded with a depressed look on her face. "Okay, what's first on the list?"

I grinned.

* * *

 **I cannot wait to start cooking on the next chapter, if I'm honest. It could come out either today or tomorrow at this rate. Thank you all again for you support! Please, if you're enjoying the story, drop a review and let me know. Or, if there is something you think I could change or work on in my writing, let me know that, too!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry chapter three took me a bit longer than I wanted it to. I ended up having less time to work on it than I initially planned, but here it is!**

* * *

Chapter 3

* * *

 _"We must be conscious of this; one day, the life we have, will be gone."_

 _\- Lailah Gifty Akita, Pearls of Wisdom: Great Mind_

* * *

"What in the world are we doing here?" Bella groaned from somewhere behind me, having just nearly tripped for about the fifth time since we'd gotten here.

I turned to face her, standing atop an old tire that looked like it hadn't been moved in a couple years, with long grass growing through the middle hole. "We are looking for something."

Bella gave me a dead look. "You've been saying that since we left the house. What in the world are we going to find in a junkyard? Especially Forks' Junkyard, everything here is practically made of pure rust."

Shrugging my shoulders, I scanned over the piles of scrap metal and old, tire-less cars. "You never know, Bella. One man's trash-"

"Is another man's treasure, I know," she sighed. "But I still don't understand, Gwen."

I pursed my lips. "Well, I figured I could find something fun to fix. Charlie said my mom used to love helping their dad fix up cars and other sorts of mechanical stuff, when she wasn't working at the hospital. I guess I'm trying to see if I can relate to her, see if I'd enjoy it, too."

Bella nodded a bit. "But even if we find something to fix, how would we do it? Charlie doesn't have a lot of tools, and neither of us have done anything like it, before. It'd take some teaching, or a lot of online instructions."

I nod. "Yeah, it's not going to be easy… I really didn't think ahead to much on this."

"Clearly," Bella sighed, sitting down on top of another old tire just a few feet away.

Ignoring her negativity, I continued walking further into the tall grass of the junk yard, leaving her behind as she took her break.

Truly, I hadn't had a clue what I was looking for when I asked Bella to drive us here when she'd gotten off school. I just made her assume that I did, so that she would agree. I was truthful, though, when I explained my reason. I'd never fixed something broken, before. Not anything like machinery. Closest I had come was fixing something on the computer when it wasn't working.

I noticed an old truck hood propped against another pile of scrap as I got towards the back of the lot.

Humming, I pulled on the edge of the hood until it fell the other way, and gasped with delight as I saw what had been hiding underneath.

"Winner, winner!" I cheered. "Bella! You have _got_ to see this! I found what we needed!"

I heard her coming from a few away, cursing loudly as she nearly tripped on some junk again.

"I hate this place," she muttered darkly, and came up behind me.

I turned around to face her with a shit-eating grin, my hands on my hips triumphantly. "Behold! Our project!"

Her brown eyes nearly bulged out of her head, and she looked even paler than she actually was. "Gwen, no way…"

"Yes, way!" I cackled evilly. "This is absolutely perfect!"

Bella shook her head. "There's no way we can fix these, Gwen, let alone do so without Charlie putting his foot down. He'd kill us."

I pulled one of the motorcycles upright, giving it a good once over. "They may be scrap, but it looks like they still have most of what they need. They just need some love and care!"

"Love and care!" she scoffed. "They need a damn miracle."

"Bella, can you imagine how absolutely amazing this could be? Haven't you ever wanted to ride on a motorcycle? If we fix these, we could both have our own! We'll find a way," I pleaded.

For a moment, Bella was looking past me.

It was like she was seeing something that I wasn't. Her eyes widened for a moment, and her breath audibly caught in her chest. She looked like she'd just seen a ghost, and I looked over both my shoulders to make sure there wasn't anyone behind me. When I looked back, her eyes were glassed over with tears, and her mouth was trembling, like she was trying to find words to say.

"Bella…?" I prodded tentatively, not wanting to startle her. "You okay?"

Her eyes snapped to me, refocused, and she swallowed thickly.

"Let's do it," she said determinedly, walking forward to help me untangle them from the grass and other junk.

I watched my cousin worriedly, but helped her the best as I could as we walked the bikes back towards the entrance of the yard. Bella going space cadet on me wasn't sitting well in the pit of my stomach, and for a moment I hoped _she_ wasn't getting sick with something. I'd not seen her just space out like that before.

We loaded the motorcycles, with a lot of difficulty on my part, and Bella pulled a tarp over them that she kept in the bed of her truck.

She was making sure they were nice and secure while I was using my inhaler, feeling absolutely winded from the walking and then trying to help her lift the damn things. I sat down on the ground, my ears ringing loudly as the blood rushed back into my head.

"Gwen?" Bella's voice sounded far away from me, like she was talking through a solid wall.

I rubbed my temples and focused on finding air again, and then smiled at her once I felt more controlled. "I'm okay."

She helped me up, holding onto my arm to help steady me. "You sure?"

"Yep, I just need to take a treatment once we're home," I assured, and let her help me into the cab.

She helped me buckle, despite my protests that I could do it myself, and closed my door. She hopped back in on the driver's side and flipped the key, the red monster coming to life with a loud roar. She backed out of the junk yard and then turned onto the dirt road leading back to highway.

The guys in shop at the front just waved us on, having seeing what we'd taken. We'd told them we needed to take some stuff for a workshop class project, and they'd told us that anything inside the yard was fair game. Thankfully, they hadn't seen what we'd plucked from the yard and decided on keeping.

That'd ensure that Charlie wouldn't catch wind of the motorcycles, at least for now.

I started tapping my left foot very annoyingly against the floor, and Bella glanced at me a couple times as we drove home.

"Nervous?" she asked softly.

I shook my head. "No, my left foot goes numb sometimes."

"Numb?"

"I don't know why," I told her with a shrug. "Janette always said it was probably due to poor circulation or something, but it doesn't happen to my right foot. Always my left. I've always called it my lucky foot."

Bella shook her head. "Your body's a mess, Gwen."

"Don't I know it."

* * *

 **Bella Swan**

* * *

If I didn't love Gwen, and I hadn't made my promise to her, I wouldn't be anywhere near this damned junk yard.

All the scattered scrap was like landmines to my clumsiness, and trying to navigate while following the sickly girl I'd nearly tripped several times already. It was like I needed more help walking through this place than she did.

She was walking slowly, scanning all the junk piles and even going as far as digging through a few more "appealing" ones.

I had the faintest idea that she didn't even really know why she'd begged me to take us here.

My foot caught on a random muffler, and I cursed as I regained balance.

 _I'm never coming here ever again, if I have any sort of say in it._

Charlie thought we were going for a drive, which is what idea Gwen had already texted him before I'd got home. He'd be going to reservation after work, anyway, to look at some of the car leads that Billy Black had tailed down for him. This gave us plenty of time to scout around the yard, looking for whatever the hell Gwen had in her mind that she needed to find.

I felt my attitude soften a bit when she told me why she wanted to find something in the junk yard. While I didn't have the greatest relationship with Renee, having always felt like I was more of the parent than she was, I could understand why Gwen would be looking for ways to connect with her deceased mom. From what I could understand, her mother was a very admirable woman.

I grumbled a bit, and sat down for a break while she continued to look.

Staring at the dark, clouded sky, I sighed heavily. My chest ached, right where my heart should be. I didn't know what to do, how to fix myself. Edward and his family had left me so torn, so lost. I'd thought they'd all really cared about me, though I'd always had my doubts. Why would a family so perfect and beautiful care for an ugly mess of a human like me?

He'd only confirmed my thoughts that day, and I think that's what hurt me the most of all. Hearing him practically prove my inferiority to him. I was nothing.

"Winner, winner! Bella! You have _got_ to see this! I found what we needed!"

I snapped out of my own thoughts, and quickly stood to go find my cousin. I think the main reason I agreed to help her was because she kept me away from my own horrible thoughts. She made me temporarily forget about the hole in my chest when I was hanging out with her. She even made me laugh, at times.

When I finally got to her, I found myself gaping. She'd found two motorcycles, both intact but obviously very worse for wear.

I argued with her for a moment, feeling like this was an absolutely terrible idea. Charlie would never allow her to fix these bikes, let alone ride one of them. He'd have them crushed to bits before he'd ever let either of us touch them.

"Bella, can you imagine how absolutely amazing this could be? Haven't you ever wanted to ride on a motorcycle? If we fix these, we could both have our own! We'll find a way," Gwen pleaded, her eyes searching my face.

I stopped for a moment, imagining what it could possibly feel like to ride a motorcycle. Wind in your hair, the power as you gripped the handle bars, and the vibration of the road rolling by beneath your wheels. Total, unfiltered freedom. Something about it _was_ appealing, I could admit that.

 _"Bella, stop."_

My eyes widened, and I stared at the figure standing just behind Gwen's right shoulder.

My Edward stood there before me, glaring at me very gently. _"Don't even think about it. Tell your cousin no and walk away. This is too dangerous. This could get you killed."_

His voice was so sweet, even when it was angry at me. I couldn't believe I was seeing him, but I knew that it wasn't real. He wasn't really here. But I could hear his voice like this, I could see him perfectly instead of just in my memories. He almost looked real enough to touch.

Gwen looked over her left shoulder, and then her right, looking right through Edward's chest. She looked back at me, concern all over her face, as Edward disappeared from my sight like ash floating away in the wind.

"Bella…? You okay?"

My eyes snapped to Gwen, and for a second there was a part of me that wanted to yell at her for making Edward go away. But I instantly calmed. I knew what I needed to do if I wanted to see Edward.

"Let's do it," I told her, determined.

* * *

 **Gwen Swan**

* * *

Charlie hadn't gotten home yet when we'd arrived, so we quickly made work of putting the motorcycles into the shed in the backyard for the time being. Bella assured me that Charlie hardly used it, and all that was really inside were a bunch of old tools and equipment he no longer really used.

We put them in the furthest corner of the shed and tucked the tarp from Bella's truck over them, making sure nothing was peeking out. This way, even if Charlie did come in for God knows why, he wouldn't see them right away. Only if he got curious about the tarp.

"I don't know how we're going to fix them, Gwen," Bella told me was we sat on the porch, both of us exhausted.

It was starting to pour, the clouds above rumbling and growling with thunder as the rain began to come down in buckets. We were safe under the porch, and I loved the smell of wet earth coming in on the breeze as it started to come down.

I loved watching rain and storms, they were my absolute favorite type of weather. The smell, the look, and the feel of the rain was something I had always loved. We didn't get it nearly as often as I'd like to have it in Montana, so Forks was perfect for me.

"We'll find someone. We could take them to a shop in Seattle, then Charlie wouldn't find out," I told her, stretching my hand out over the porch railing to feel the cold droplets of water splash onto my skin.

Bella sighed, "Yeah, but it'll cost us a lot of money. I really don't have that much saved, but-"

"I wouldn't make you pay for it, silly," I smiled. "I've got some money."

I could feel her questioning stare against the back of my neck. "…How?"

"Well, when my mom died all of her savings went to me. And when grandpa Swan passed, in his will he'd written for all his earnings to be split between Charlie and my mom. Since my mom was no longer around, that also went to me," I explained, sitting down on the porch bench next to my cousin.

Bella nodded, "Yes, Charlie's been saying he'll give me a portion of it for when I want to go to college. But I don't know if I want to even go anymore…"

"You should," I told her. "If not for the learning, for the experiences. Yeah, you might get yourself a bit of debt doing it, but you may make friends you'd never got to meet if you hadn't."

"I don't really want any friends," Bella grumped softly.

Pursing my lips, I crossed my legs and sat facing my cousin. "You don't consider us to be friends?"

She looked up at me, practically gnawing on her bottom lip. "No, Gwen, we are… it's just. People don't understand. They don't understand me. I don't think I'll ever be normal like that ever again."

 _Good lord, here comes the self-pity train again. All aboard, passenger of one, aka Bella Swan._

I tried to swallow the hot ball of anger growing in my chest.

Bella had the capability of having a full life. She had a healthy, albeit clumsy, body, she had family who loved her, and she could grow old and have a family. She could work whatever job she dreamed of and live her life however she wished. Not everyone was that lucky.

Bella went inside, probably back up to her room to sulk, but I didn't care at that moment. I wasn't about to try and talk her down from her inner turmoil when I didn't know what to say, myself. I'd never been in love, never even had a boyfriend. But I still don't think I'd be letting a break up tear me up so much like she was. She's acting like all her will to enjoy life was dead.

I saw Charlie's cruiser from the corner of my eye, and I turned just as he pulled into the drive way. Another car drove up behind him, parking just next to Bella's monster truck.

Charlie popped out of his cruiser, saw me, and smiled, waving.

I walked out into the rain to greet him and the new comer, sighing with content as the chilled rain soaked into my hair and tapped against my bare arms.

"Where is your coat, young lady?" Charlie asked as I got closer, scowling at me.

I pointed to the porch with a cheeky grin.

He sighed, just about to make me go back and get it when the other driver hopped out of the unfamiliar car.

It was a boy who I recognized, but just barely.

"Jacob Black?" I gasped, looking at the monster resembling the kid I'd used to throw mud at and sword fight with sticks when we were small.

He was huge! His black hair was longer, and shinier, than mine, I noticed with concealed envy. His russet skinned body was toned like a body builder, and the kid had to be over six feet tall. He'd grown from a scrawny kid into a damn mountain.

"Gweny?" he asked, smirking as I huffed in annoyance at the nickname.

"You're not allowed to be taller than me, damnit, I'm older than you," I pouted, smiling sheepishly when Charlie scolded me for the offhanded curse.

Jacob laughed, showing a row of perfectly white teeth. "Well, it looks like I honestly didn't have to try very hard to end up taller than you."

I smacked him weakly on the shoulder, and he laughed again. We hugged for a short second, the top of my head just reaching his shoulders, and then we pulled away.

I looked at him, then back to the car he'd pulled up in. "…You know, I never would've imagined you to grow up as a Buick kind of guy."

He rolled his eyes at my weak jab. "It's yours, goofball."

I gasped, looking at him, to Charlie, and then to the little black Buick. A noise of pure glee came from me, something akin to a squeal and a choking sound. I quickly turned and threw my arms around Charlie, thanking him repeatedly.

"Why are you thanking me?" he grumbled, clearly embarrassed as he hugged me back gently. "You wouldn't even let me pay for the damn thing."

I grinned, remembering how I kept sticking an envelope with a couple thousand dollars in it just about everywhere Charlie would find it, until he took it. I think it was when I folded it into his wallet while he was sleeping that finally made him break, after having already found it in two different cereal boxes, his underwear drawer, in a couple different obvious spots inside the cruiser, and inside the fridge, taped to the milk.

He wasn't amused with me, but finally relented and accepted that I wasn't going to let him pay for my car. I was already grateful that he was letting me have one, period, so I wasn't about to let him pay for it when I had the money.

"Of course not," I chirped, "But you're letting me have the car. That means more to me than letting you pay for it!"

Jacob watched us, an amused grin on his face.

Charlie and I pulled apart, and Jacob handed me the keys. I held them in my hands, about shaking with excitement. That or it was from the cold rain finally sinking into my bones and making them rattle.

Either way, I was over the moon.

"Alright, Jacob, hop on in the cruiser. Billy said you needed to be straight back, he needed your help with some stuff around the house before he got dinner made," Charlie said, turning to walk away.

"Or, or, orrr," I said, batting my lashes at my uncle. I heard Jacob snort from somewhere behind me. "I could drive him home and get to test drive my new baby!"

Charlie looked at me, nearly soaked to the bone and probably looking like a waterlogged skeleton, but then at the pleading look on my face.

"Go inside and change into something dry, and put your coat back on, then you can drive him," Charlie sighed, exasperated.

"Yes!" I cheered, leaving the two behind as I went back to the house.

I changed into some black sweats and a dark green long-sleeved shirt, throwing on a thicker jacket than the one I'd been wearing before. I twisted my hair until I could fit a beanie onto my head, letting my hair sit in it loosely. A few stray pieces along with my bangs hung around my face.

That'd be enough to satisfy Charlie.

The two were talking on the porch away from the downpour as I came back out. The conversation quite abruptly stopped when I'd opened the door, telling me that I had most definitely been the topic of conversation beforehand.

"Ready, Black?" I asked, twirling the key ring on my pointer finger.

Jacob looked at Charlie. "Should I be afraid for my life, Chief?"

Charlie chuckled. "Nah, she may get a lead foot but other than that she seems to be a decent driver."

"You've only seen me drive once," I protested. "And you pulled me over because you thought I was Bella."

Jacob laughed. "He pulled you over? Oh, man. I need to hear this story."

"On the way," I agreed, throwing my jacket hood over my head and waddling out into the rain. "To the Batmobile, Robin!"

Jacob chuckled, saying goodbye to Charlie and following me out to the Buick. "If anyone's the side kick I'd say it'd be you, shorty."

"Hey!" Charlie called, and I turned to the porch before I got fully into the car. "You got your inhaler?"

"Yes, Uncle Charlie!" I pulled it out of my pocket and gave it a short wave, before retreating into the still warm car.

Jacob settled into the passenger seat, smirking when he noticed Charlie staring at us. "I think he's waiting for you to put your seat belt on."

Sure enough, Charlie could be seen watching us through the torrent of rain, his arms crossed expectantly over his chest. Sighing loudly, I made a big show of throwing my seatbelt over myself and clicking it into place, Jacob copying me shortly after.

Charlie waved at us and retreated inside, and I turned the key.

The car purred to life, and I grinned. "I'm so excited."

"Well, don't get to excited, it's just a Buick, not a sports car," Jacob joked, staring out the window as I pulled out of the drive and started making my way down the road, in the direction I knew the reservation was.

We chatted along the way, with Jacob having to point out some directions here and there, because I hadn't been on the reservation since I was a child. We were pretty comfortable, though. I didn't feel awkward talking to Jacob, it almost felt like I was getting back in touch with a very old friend. We'd never known each other _that_ well, but we were still decently familiar.

The Buick drove like a dream, not making nearly as much noise as Bella's truck and sounding a lot healthier. It didn't look any better than hers, though. It needed some new paint, had a couple marks from self-fixed dents, and a couple scratches. But, it was perfect for me.

"So you guys had this car spare when Charlie called you?" I asked, after Jacob was recovering from laughing at my story about Charlie pulling me over just a few days ago.

Jacob shrugged. "It'd been one of my side projects for a while. I've mainly been working on my rabbit, but when Charlie called my dad asked me to quickly finish up this car so that he could get it for you."

I stared at him, having just stopped at a stop sign. "…you're a mechanic?" I asked deviously.

Jacob raised an eyebrow at me. "Yeah, I suppose. Not as a job, just a hobby I picked up when I was a kid."

I pursed my lips, keeping my eyes on the road as we turned down the street leading to his home. He told me where to turn, and I instantly felt some familiarity with the house, just like I had with Jacob. Charlie had used to take Bella and here quite often, from what I could remember from my childhood visits with him.

"Thanks for the lift, Gwen," Jacob said, about the pull the handle.

"Wait!"

He raised an eyebrow, settling back into the seat. "Yeah?"

"Do you know how to fix a motorcycle?" I blurted.

Jacob frowned at me, his brows furrowing a bit.

"Two of them, to be exact," I admitted sheepishly.

Jacob folded his arms over his chest. "Okay, this ought to be good. Spill it."

I explained how Bella and I had went to the junk yard just looking for stuff to fix, skirting around the whole topic of why I felt the need to do so, and how we'd rescued what seemed to be the majority of two motorcycles.

"So, long story short, Bella and I want to learn how to ride, but we need them fixed," I finished in a hurry, blinking at the younger teen in front of me. "I can buy about anything you'd need to fix them, that's fully covered. We just need someone who's willing to put in the time."

Jacob was staring out the windshield, his face thoughtful.

"Charlie would murder all three of us, I think," he said finally.

My face fell. "I mean… If you don't want to take the risk, we can take them somewhere else. Just don't tell Charlie, please!"

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Please, if these bikes are as rough as they sound you're going to get charged an arm and a leg more than what the parts will even be worth."

"Does that mean yes?" I grinned.

He chuckled, "Sure, sure. I'll be a part of your super-secret bike mission."

I could barely contain my excitement on the way home. Jacob told me to bring the bikes over this weekend, on Saturday when Charlie and Billy would be gone fishing with a couple of their friends. It'd be the best time to transfer them from the shed to Jacob's garage, where he said they'd be safely hidden. Even if his dad saw them, he wouldn't care and would just assume Jacob had started another project.

It was a perfect plan.

As I was pulling into the driveway, I felt it start.

I groaned loudly, putting the car in park. The skin on my left leg felt like it did when I got itchy, but this time it felt so much worse. It was like my blood was boiling inside my leg, the skin screaming for relief. I felt my whole body start to shiver, shaking like a loose leaf on a tree just clinging on for dear life.

At first it was just painful, but the intensity suddenly became unbearable. I was scratching at my leg, trying to let the fire out. I just wanted the pain to stop, anything to make the pain stop.

A few times I tried to get the strength to get out of the car, but I knew I wouldn't make it to the house. My damned foot was tingling, asleep like it had been earlier today. I'd sooner fall in the mud before making it even halfway.

I prayed the horn still worked in the Buick and I slammed it with my palm a couple times, producing a few honks from the still-intact horn.

Tears burned at the corners of my eyes as I tried to stop myself from tearing at the skin on my leg. Why was it just my leg? It'd never just been in one spot before, and while my whole body felt itchy, all the pain and intensity was focused in my left leg.

I was sobbing in shear agony, bent over in the driver's seat, one hand clutching the fabric of my sweats and the other clawing at the fabric of the seat.

A whoosh of cold air from outside hit me as Charlie swung open the driver's door. "Gwen?! Gwen!"

"It hurts," I cried, stifling a scream in my sleeve as Charlie pulled me from the car and into his arms. "I want to die!"

"Don't say that!"

The air around me pulsing, going and in and out like a heartbeat and ringing inside my skull. I was so worked up and all the sobbing was stealing the air from my lungs. I couldn't breathe and my leg was still on fire. Soon, my vision started blurring as Charlie got me into the house, and I heard him yelling at Bella to call an ambulance.

"No," I heard myself sob, "No more hospitals, please, please."

Charlie was shushing me, rocking me in his arms as his hand tenderly held on to my left leg. "It's going to be okay, Gwen, I've got you."

I felt myself slipping into darkness, everything sounding further and further away, and I couldn't even sigh with relief as I felt the fire in my leg start to cool.

 _How much longer can I do this?_ I thought to myself sleepily, before everything went dark.

* * *

"I've got a weird feeling."

"You've always got a weird feeling, love."

"This is different."

"How so?"

"I got a feeling like we gotta go."

"Where to this time?"

"…"

"There? Really? We haven't seen him in ages, though…"

"I don't think it's him that's pulling me there."

* * *

 **Jasper Whitlock**

* * *

Alice was hiding something from me, I knew that much for sure. Something about the vision she'd had a couple days ago.

First, she wanted to separate as a couple, which thoroughly confused me but I agreed to her wishes. We let the family know of our intentions to no longer be partners, and then Emmett helped me move the few things I had in Alice's room into my own study down the hall.

I didn't really know how to react to the whole thing. I felt sorrow, mostly because I could feel it coming off of Alice, as well. She was trying to do something self-sacrificial by separating us, I could tell that, and it was eating at her a little. We'd always known that we weren't mates, but that hadn't stopped us from being in love for the good majority of our time together.

 _Maybe she saw a vision of her own mate?_ I mused, setting my last box onto the couch in my study.

"You okay, man?" Emmett asked, taking the recliner he'd had balanced across his shoulders and setting into an empty place near one of the books shelves.

I shrugged. "I suppose. Like we told you guys, we aren't mates."

"But you did love her," Emmett pointed out, crossing his arms over the large expansion of his chest.

"I did," I nodded. "But our passions been fading the past few years. Within the last, eighteen or twenty years or so things have felt more… forced. Like we're best friends trying to be more than we should."

He nodded in understanding. "I wonder what else she saw that's been making her so… flighty?"

"You noticed it, too," I mused.

Lately, Alice spent a good couple of hours a day looking through visions. I'm not sure what she was searching for, but she'd pulled a chair up the window looking out over the garden in the back yard and she would sit in that thing for hours on end, sketching in her notebook.

She'd also roped us all into trying to get Edward out more often. He was barely a shell of a man anymore, only hunting unless one of us forced him. I would tell him that rejecting his mating bond would only end up killing him _and_ Bella, but I think I'm the last person he'd want to hear any advice from.

Since the incident of Bella's eighteenth birthday, I'd felt guiltier than ever. Alice and Carlisle both tried to explain how it wasn't my fault, that I could feel everyone's blood lust all around me and that is what made me snap, but it wasn't just that.

Bella was one of the most enticing smelling humans I'd ever met. She was damn near mouthwatering. But her whole scent didn't actually appeal to me like everyone thought it was. She smelled of strawberries and freesia to most everyone, but there was this underlying smell that confused me. I couldn't put my finger on it, but Alice had already told me she hadn't smelled anything different about Bella like I'd described, so I dropped it.

But it was that smell that'd unshackled me that day. I wanted to not only drink Bella dry, but get closer to that smell.

"Whelp," Emmett excuse, stretching his shoulders. "Rosie and I are going on a hunting trip North for a week or so. You can come with if you need the distraction, brother."

I internally winced. Going anywhere as the third-wheel of Emmett and Rosalie was uncomfortable for everyone. The two loved each other a lot, and loudly. If I'd go, I'd end up needing a distraction from my distraction.

"No, thanks. I've been thinking about whether I should go off for myself for a bit, figure myself out," I said.

Emmett sighed. "Well, we'd miss ya, but if you think being nomadic for a while would help, go for it. God knows this family needs something to help cheer us all up."

Alice was suddenly in my room, right in front of me face. "You aren't going anywhere!" she said, pointing a finger right at my nose. "If you go, you're going to mess everything up. Trust me, Jasper. I need you to stay here, at least for right now. Things are happening and I can't see right when you decide to go South, okay?"

I put my hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay, you little hellion, I'll stay."

She grinned. "Thanks, Jas!" she gave me a peck on the cheek and was gone in a second, back in her room and mostly likely back in that stupid chair.

I let out a long sigh, and Emmett gave me a sympathetic look. He waved at me goodbye, and I heard him run to the garage off the house, where Rosalie was working on her latest car project.

Tuning everyone out, I collapsed very tiredly onto the couch. I caught the box I'd placed there just as it had been about to fall to the floor, and placed it gently onto the ground so it didn't almost fall again.

Suddenly, I felt my chest ache.

My brows furrowed, and I sat up a bit straighter.

There it was again, a dull, resounding ache in my chest. I'd been feeling it from time to time for the past couple of days, since Alice and I officially broke off our relationship off.

It felt like someone had stabbed me with a knife and was twisting it in circles. Something inside of me was tugging, pulling painfully. Like I needed to desperately go do _something_.

What that something was, I had no clue.

* * *

 **Our first look at Jasper's mind! It wasn't anything too thorough, because he doesn't really know much right now. But I'm happy with how the chapter turned out. Thank you all so much for reviewing, following, and favoriting the story. It really put a smile on my face knowing that people are actually enjoying it so far.**

 **Please drop a review if you enjoyed, or if you feel you have something I could work on some! Thanks again, everyone!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's chapter four! Thank you all so much for all the support!**

* * *

Chapter 4

* * *

 _"Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!"_

 _\- William Wallace, Braveheart_

* * *

I hate hospitals.

If there was thing I could take up as a life motto, it would probably end up being just that. 'I hate hospitals'. Everything about them made me feel even worse when I was sick. The pure smell of sanitization burned my nose all afternoon, and night, long. The incessant beeping noises from the damned machines I was hooked up to. The bland, science-lab-born looking food they'd bring in. Mostly, however, it was the mood. The atmosphere of sickness, sadness, pain, and death.

Sure, some people came here and got happy news. But some of us weren't that lucky.

I glanced to my left, seeing Charlie asleep in the dark brown recliner chair they'd brought in for him. They usually used it for patients who had difficulties with their backs or hips and couldn't sleep in beds, but they said they'd come notify him if they needed it for anyone else. I think the poor nurse in charge of me would've felt just as bad as I had if he'd tried to sleep in the hardwood chair all night long.

How Forks even had a hospital was beyond me. In Montana, small towns rarely ever had a _doctor's office_ let alone an actual hospital. Though they didn't do too many big procedures, from what I'd gathered. Their best surgeon, it seemed, moved very recently and they couldn't offer the same number of procedure without him. Now, it seemed, for more major things many people were being directed towards doctor's in Seattle.

A beam of light crossed over the lilac blanket on my bed as the door cracked open, and I heard the squeak of tennis shoes against the overly-clean tile.

"You're still awake?" my nurse, who was actually very sweet and told me to call her Helena, asked in a whisper, as to not wake Charlie.

I shook my head. "I told that jerk off when I came to that I didn't sleep and-"

"That you did want any sleeping meds," she finished with a soft sigh. "They may help you, though."

"I'm not going to spend the night drugged out of my mind, still not sleeping, and waiting for my body functions to come back. Been there, done that," I said simply, leaning back against the stiff, powder blue mattress.

I had my bed propped like a recliner, because it seemed more comfortable for me at the moment since I wasn't going to be able to go to sleep anytime soon.

"Dr. Gerhart can be really nice," she told me, as she checked my vitals for her chart. "He just… got a big head after our previous head doctor left. He's been a bit more eccentric now that he's in charge."

Ahh, Sir Dr. Gerhart. Or as I'd already called him previously, a jerk off. He'd instantly rubbed me the wrong way. When I woke up he was in my face, listing off all the tests they needed to preform and the samples they were going to take, that they'd not seen anything like this before but surely he could figure it out, and blah, blah, blah… I'd shut him down near instantly, told him I'd had all those tests, to no result in figuring out what's wrong with me, and that if he came anywhere near me with a needle I was going to kick his teeth in.

Charlie had been less than amused with me, but seemed impressed that'd I'd come out of a blackout already sarcastic and grumpy, instead of tired and scared like most might be.

I'd wish that everyone could just get it through their thick skulls that I've done this hundreds of times. I spent weeks, and then months, in different hospitals, for all the most invasive tests under the sun in order to find out what was killing my body. No one got results, they had no explanation. It was when they wanted to observe my body in a more scientific environment that Janette put her foot down, and took me home for good.

After arguing with Dr. Jerkoff for over an hour about how he wasn't going to touch my body, he'd tried to get Charlie to convince me of different. I'd laughed in his face, because even though I was staying with Charlie I was not legally under his care. He, in all actuality, couldn't force me to do anything I didn't want to do.

Charlie didn't seem to want to, anyway. After listening to Gerhart argue with me he more or less looked like he wanted to request a new doctor, and gruffly told the man to leave me be to rest so that they could discharge me properly in the morning.

Charlie then told me that a female doctor had originally been in charge of me and that had been her plans, to discharge me in the morning. She'd heard of my anomaly, as things like this do travel fast in the medical world, and knew I just needed rest at home once I was stable. But once Gerhart had learned I was in _his_ hospital, he'd barged in when I was still unconscious and started telling Charlie his grand-plan to find out what was wrong with me.

"I'm sure he's super nice," I whispered sarcastically, watching very grumpily as she began to change the bandages on my left leg.

"Oof," she winced, tossing the soiled bandages into the biohazard bin. "You did quite the number on yourself, girly."

In my frenzy, I'd literally scratched my leg until I'd left deep wounds. My whole leg looked like I'd gotten chased down and caught by a zombie. I was just thankful they'd actually cleaned all my skin from underneath my fingernails. That was the worst part about the scratching.

"Not the worst work I've done, sadly," I noted thoughtfully.

She cleaned me up, and then tapped my calf. "Weird that you didn't tear up this scar of yours, there. It feels pretty solid."

Ah, right. My weird scar from four years ago. It was just below my knee, on the thicker part of my calf. Sometimes, I just forgot that it was there. The whole incident felt like such a blur to me.

"Yeah, it's got a lot of built up tissue from what other doctor's told me. It's pretty rough to the touch," I agreed.

"What happened?" she blurted, then blushed. "If you don't mind telling, that is."

I shrugged. "I got separated from my adopted mom and some weird guy attacked me. He'd gotten me by the leg just before someone else ripped him off of me, and my mom found my later all by myself with a bloody leg."

She tsk'ed sadly. "People are so crazy these days… It seems more and more often we hear of kids being taken or attacked. Odd that whoever helped you didn't stay with you until your mom came, though. You're lucky to be here, then."  
"Yes," I whispered. "Very lucky…"

She finished wrapping up my leg and left me to "sleep". I laid back in the bed, staring out the window. It was storming outside, with thunder crashing in the distance and rumbling in the clouds. It was that beautiful kind of night sky where you could only make out the clouds when the lightning struck. I loved this weather, especially since it gave me a wonderful view to watch while I waited for the night to pass.

Watching the rain and lighting, I felt myself sigh softly. I couldn't wait to be discharged in the morning so that I could get out of this place, and never come back.

* * *

"Freedooom!" I mock-shouted as Charlie helped me through the doorway.

Bella sighed loudly, placing her bag on the floor so she could take off her jacket. "You've been quoting Braveheart since Charlie got you into the lobby, Gwen."

I gave her a goofy smile, plopping onto the couch. "You would be, too, if you understood my deep, dark loathing for hospitals."

Charlie glared. "You didn't have to go as far as tell Dr. Gerhart you'd only stay if he… ahem."

"Put his head between his legs and kiss his own ass?" I goaded, grinning as I remembered the absolutely appalled look on his face when I'd told that, right after he'd told me his offer still stood to look further into my illness _"for my greater good"_. "Don't try and hide it Uncle Charlie, you wanted to laugh, too! The receptionist couldn't even hold hers in. Besides, that's also in Braveheart. If you want to be technical, I was only innocently quoting a really good movie."

Charlie shook his head, running his hand over his mustache. "I don't know what I'm going to do with you, kid."

"You love me," I told him.

The phone started ringing in the kitchen, and Charlie walked off to go get it, his work boots thudding against the hardwood floor.

I looked at my cousin and frantically waved her closer. Bella, looking slightly amused, came over and sat next to me on the couch.

"So," I said softly, "Jacob Black agreed to help us fix the you-know-what's."

Bella's eyebrows shot up. "Jacob Black? What if his dad-"

"Won't be able to tell if Jacob's secretly helping two thrill seekers or just starting a new project," I grinned. "He's apparently known for his mechanic hobby."

"He told us to drop them by tomorrow," I told her. "When Charlie goes fishing with Billy. He didn't cancel, right?"

Bella shook her head. "Not that I've heard. I think since he knew you were going to be discharged the next day he was going to wait and ask if you if you wanted him to stay home with you. He's making you stay home this weekend, by the way."

I snorted. "We'll see."

She smiled in what seemed to be apology. "He's already hidden the Buick keys."

"Damn it," I sighed. "Well, we'd have to take them in your truck, anyway, so-"

"What're you girls talking about so quietly?" Charlie asked from the doorway, causing us both to nearly jump out of skins.

"Wh-wha.. Nothing!" I stammered, my heart in my throat.

Bella coughed awkwardly.

Charlie stared at us, face unconvinced. "Right…"

"Gwen got her period," Bella suddenly blurted, and her face went scarlet. "She was asking me how I get rid of my pads here and if she could have some."

Charlie's face bloomed red and he held up his hands. "I'm out."

He walked back into the kitchen, and soon we heard him start ordering takeout from the local pizzeria in town for tonight's dinner.

I held my hand out for a high five, laughing at the look on Charlie's face before he'd left. For a moment I thought Bella was going to leave me hanging, but then she clapped out hands together.

"That was good," I told her. "You're lucky Janette left that one little part of my illness brief out, though."

Bella looked at me in confusion. "Which is..?"

I sighed, leaning back into the couch. "I've got dead ovaries, basically. I don't have my period anymore. It stopped when I was sixteen. They think something in my illness attacked some of my internal organs, which is why my ovaries are basically dead and my lungs are weak as shit."

"So," Bella said softly. "You can't have kids, then."

I flinched. That was always a touchy subject for me. I'd cried for a solid week when the doctor's had told me about my non-egg producing ovaries and how I'd never be able to have children. I wouldn't talk to anyone, just cry and stare at nothing for hours. I'd always loved the idea of having a few ankle-biters of my own with someone that I had that mushy and too cute love for, with the stereotypical big house with the white picket fence. I think I'd mourned that more than I had the rest of the things I'd lost to this disease. I didn't even mourn the news of my upcoming death quite as much as I had my ovaries.

"Nope," I stated, popping the 'p'. "It… hurt a lot. When I found that out, I lost all my hope for once. I just wanted everything to be over, after I figured that out. I'd bounced back when I finally realized that maybe, just maybe, I could adopt or foster like Janette. But now, that doesn't really seem likely, either."

"I'm sorry, Gwen," Bella said sincerely, and she reached over to give my hand a soft squeeze.

 _Don't you dare start crying over this, stop it! No time for tears, anymore!_

I wiped the corner of my eye with my sleeve.

"Sorry, something in my eye," I lied lamely.

Bella smiled, and we decided to watch more movies that night. Charlie sat on the couch behind us when we'd remade our pillow and blanket nest. The pizza guy came and soon the three of us were watching horror flicks and eating delicious, greasy pizza.

I was wrapped in a warm fleece blanket, stuffed full of pizza, and spending the afternoon with my family. It made me miss my old home in Montana bit, but I was happy to have this time with Bella and Charlie. I'd seen them so little over my life that I was glad I could use my last few moments to get to know them better. Bella was even watching the movie, not staring at the screen pretending to watch like she had been doing our first movie night. She was smiling a little as I critiqued some of the facts of the film.

"I'm just saying, I don't think they realized that human's don't actually have _that_ much blood in them," I told them, looking at the mess on screen.

"How would you know?" Charlie asked, raising a brow when I turned to stick my tongue out at him.

"The internet is one hell of a place, Uncle Charlie."

I wouldn't have many more moments like these, I knew that. Surrounded by family, just relaxing and enjoying our time together. Sure, it wasn't anything super thrilling or living life to the fullest extent kind of thing, but it was something sentimental that I would hold on to until my very last breath

* * *

"For the last time," I said softly, looking Charlie right the eye. "I. Will. Be. Fine. Uncle Charlie."

He still looked unsure, his fishing rod and tackle box in his hands. He was seconds from leaving to go get Billy, and he was asking me for about the fifth time if I wanted him to stay home with me.

I smiled, and hugged my uncle. He couldn't hug back very well, but he tried. "I promise. I'll take it very easy today. I won't lift a finger, and I'll keep my inhaler and my phone on me all day long."

"Fine," he sighed, and I let him go. "But you call me if _anything_ is wrong, okay?"

"Promise!" I chirped. "I still say you need to let me get you one of those tan hats, the one's grandpas wear with the fishing hooks all along the brim."

He waved me off. "No way. See ya later, kid."

"Have fun, and drive safe," I called out to him as he walked to the cruiser, tossing his stuff into the back seat and then sitting in the driver's seat.

He honked at me in good bye, and I watched from the porch as the cruiser reached the end of the street, and then turned.

I turned on my heel, back inside. Bella was coming down the stairs just as I did, tugging on a jacket. "Did he turn down the street?"

"Yep! Let's do this!" I crowed, doing a mock war cry.

Bella shook her head, throwing on her boots and going out front to pull the truck around to the shed.

We loaded up the bikes, which honestly took us about a half hour considering how week I still felt from the hospital stay. It didn't help that my leg was still tender and itching like crazy, this time from the healing skin, not my weird illness.

Once they were secured and loaded, I waited for Jacob to text my phone. We didn't want to accidentally pass Charlie and his friends on our way to La Push, so I'd texted him the night before to tell him to give us the okay once it'd been about ten minutes after they left Billy's house. Thankfully, the boy had been smart enough to give me his number before we parted ways that day I got the buick.

I was sitting on the porch, tapping my left leg as we waited, when my phone pinged in my hand.

Quickly opening the message, I grinned. "We're in the clear, onwards, Bella!" I told her, as she pulled me into a standing position.

Jacob was waiting for us in the front yard when we got there, yelling for Bella to back the truck in. She did so, getting as close to the opened garage as she could, and then put her truck in park and turn off the rumbling red beast.

"Gotta say, I'm surprising this thing is still running so well," Jacob greeted us with a chuckle, patting the tailgate of Bella's truck.

"Hey, just tells us that you got a way with your mechanic skills," I told him with a shrug, and then wheezed.

He gave me a concerned look, Bella also turning to look at me.

I waved at them both, coughing into the crook of my arm. "I'm fine, I'm fine. Let's get these puppies out."

Bella and Jacob removed the tarp, Jacob's eyes occasionally flickering towards my cousin. She hadn't really greeted him yet, just waved at him as we got out. But something told me Jacob had been hoping for more of response out of her than that.

"Dear lord," Jacob said when the bikes where uncovered. "I thought you said they looked pretty intact."

I chuckled. "Well, to me. The person who's only seen motorcycles from afar or in movies. Yes, they looked pretty much normal."

Jacob slapped a hand to his forehead, then ran it through his bangs. "This is going to take longer than I thought," he admitted with a slight grumble.

"Can you fix them?" Bella asked, and Jacob's face lit back up.

 _Interesting._ I noted, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, yeah. I'll need to replace some parts, obviously. Some of this stuff is far too gone to recover. I'll have to see how they look overall, but if the engines are still good then we have a good chance," Jacob said, and helped Bella into the truck bed so that she could lower them down to him.

"This seems easier than when we had to lift those things," I muttered, watching how easily Jacob took the weight of the bikes as he guided them to the ground, wheels down.

He chuckled. "Well, considering you look like you could keel over lifting a watermelon, I'd say you guys are lucky you even got them on and off the truck the first time."

I glared at him. "Oi, respect your elders."

Instead of laughing at me joke, he actually looked a little burned for a second. "You know, you two aren't _that_ much older than me."

"You're sixteen?" I asked, and he nodded. "Two years your senior, my padawan. You have much to learn."

He snorted, then, and Bella shook her head at me with a smile on her lips. I watched the two wheeled the bikes into the garage, and then took notice of the Volkswagen rabbit parked inside, the hood propped up. The garage itself was pretty messy. Standard concrete floor, covered in a little bit of dust and some oil spill stains. There were some metal tool boxes on wheels pulled close to the rabbit's hood, with even more tools strewn about in random places.

"So," I started, as Jacob got the bikes situated where he wanted them. "If you can make a list of all the parts you need, we can take a shopping trip in Port Angeles by next weekend to buy them."

Bella nodded. "I'm going there with a friend next weekend. I told them I'd be bringing my cousin along with."

I blinked. "Well, I didn't know that, but okay, that works, too."

She shrugged. "Charlie's been bugging me about connecting with friends."

Something told me that whoever Bella invited, she really didn't see them as a good friend, but she'd do about anything to get Charlie off her back at the moment. Since I'd come and got her to poke out of her depression shell a little, he'd been hinting at her a lot that she should spend more time with people her age. I think he wanted her to go out more, even though he liked that the two of us hung out quite a bit.

Jacob rolled his shoulders. "I can do that much, though I think I'd rather buy the stuff myself. Some of it you might not know what to look for."

"Hmm…" I murmured. "You're right. Here."

The two watched me as I fished around in the backpack I'd had slung over my shoulder, until I produced a Harry Potter wallet. I unzipped it, pulled out some bills, and handed them to Jacob. "Don't lose that, please."

His eyes bugged out of his head. "Jeeze, when you said you had the money I didn't expect you to start pulling out a bunch of hundred dollar bills."

"Only for the parts!" I said seriously, pointing a finger up at his face. "And maybe like… a two liter and some snacks for yourself. I gotta keep you well fed since you're going to be slaving over my project."

Jacob raised a brow. "I thought it was both of your project?"

We looked at Bella.

She startled, looking like a deer in headlights. "I, well. Yeah. It is. I want to learn how to ride them, too. It'd be a good experience," she finished lamely, shrugging.

Jacob blinked. "Well, alright. You two can hang if you want, while I check them out. Charlie and my dad won't be back until way later, so I'd say you'd be safe."

He smirked at me. "I hear you're on house arrest," he goaded, as he pulled a stool up to the first bike and beginning to look it over.

Bella sat down on a rather large, near-by cooler and I on another stool, watching while he worked. Bella looked a bit distracted, adopting her famous thousand-yard stare once more.

"Yeah, he asked me not to leave the house and take it easy," I said, pulling my legs Indian style on the stool.

"Dad said you were in the hospital. What happened?" Jacob questioned, probably just trying to keep the silence at bay as much as he could.

"My leg. My skin crawls sometimes. I don't know if I've developed an allergy or what, but sometimes my skin just itches. Itches so badly it hurts. When I got home from dropping you off my leg flared up so bad I thought it was burning," I said simply, and he gave me a weird look.

I shrugged. "Don't ask me, my body's weird."

He blinked slowly. "Right."

Reaching under my left pant leg so that I could run my hand across my healing scratching, I sighed with relief. "Among other things, I also lost control of my breathing. And, well, ya know, empty lungs tend to be a bad thing."

"So why aren't you at home, resting, exactly?" He raised a brow at me from over the cracked leather seat of the bike.

I looked outside, past Bella's car and at the tree line near Jacob's house. "I don't have time to be resting all the time. I'm probably not going to be around within the year, so I'm trying to spend what time I have doing things I've always wanted to do. You know, do all the crap nobody wants me to do."

There was a long stretch of silence, and I looked back to Jacob, who was scratching the nape of his neck sheepishly.

"That's… really rough. I'm sorry, Gwen," he said, sincerely.

I smiled. "I wouldn't be. There is one part of this whole deal I didn't tell you about."

Jacob raised a brow.

"I'm going to help you fix the bikes," I grinned. "And you've got to explain what you're doing, why it needs to be done, and help teach me how to do it. Which also means you can't work on them too much when we're not here."

Jacob smirked. "Puh-lease, that's hardly a bad thing. I'm a badass teacher. Without me, my best friends would hardly even know how to change their own oil. Class is in session, get over here, Swan."

I pulled my stool closer to his, next to the bikes, and Bella stared at us for a moment.

"Don't act like a third wheel, get over here," I waved at her. "You're learning, too. If one of these bikes is going to be yours, you'll need to learn how to fix some of this stuff in the future."

Bella shrugged, and pushed the cooler closer, so that she could listen as Jacob started showing me all the parts of the bike and what they did.

We spent the whole afternoon going over the bikes, and I found out they were two Honda XL 250's. A decently old model, and from what Jacob surmised it seemed like someone must have bought them and then let them sit around for the years they had them. When they finally uncovered them again, they decided to just junk them instead of take on the hassle of restoring them.

Jacob had pulled some soda from a very old refrigerator with chipped paint, stuffed in the corner of the garage, and then went into the house to grab some chips. Soon the three of us had a few cokes down and our hands were covered in Dorito chip dust for most of the afternoon. The three of us were having a great afternoon, learning the parts of the bike as Jacob jotted down in a notebook what stuff he was going to need to replace and get from the store.

Even Bella, who was commenting every once and a while, was smiling and looking like she was having a great time. This surprised me, but I was happy to see my cousin coming out more.

I couldn't help but notice the look in Jacob's eyes when he made my cousin laugh and smile, and something inside of me wondered if he had feelings for her. It wasn't really that hard for someone within the vicinity of the two to see how Jacob looked at her.

By the time Bella suggested we should head home, my mind was swimming with weird mechanic terms and motorcycle parts I'd never even heard of before.

"Maybe I won't end up being a fixer-upper type like my mom," I said, shaking my head. "This is waaay too much information."

Jacob chuckled. "C'mon, now, it's not that bad."

"I still want to help fix them, but maybe I _won't_ have you tell me all the whats and whys. Makes my head spin," I said, rubbing my temple a little.

"I thought it was pretty interesting," Bella said with a shrug, and Jacob smiled at her.

Suddenly, a loud howl split the evening air, echoing from deep within the woods near Jacob's home. Two more separate howls answered the call shortly after, coming from a totally different direction than the first.

All the hair on the back of my neck prickled, and goosebumps rose on the tops of my arms. It was like I'd been given a small jolt of electricity right down my spine. Suddenly, I felt very cold, and even a little scared.

"Whoa," I whispered, rubbing my jacket covered arms. "I've never heard wolves in real life before. Never that close, either."

"Yeah," Bella agreed, her eyes concerned. "That sounded really close."

Jacob frowned, shrugging. "I hear them pretty often anymore. There must be a pack wandering around."

Jacob walked us to Bella's truck, which was a little silly considering it was right outside the door, but it did make me feel better. Something inside me felt very unsettled by the howl, which was weird because I'd always really loved wolves. They were really beautiful creatures. Hearing them so close, though, had twisted my insides into a hard knot. I felt like I needed to go home, go somewhere. Anywhere but there.

"See you guys next week?" Jacob asked hopefully, breaking the silence between us all as he helped me into the passenger seat.

I looked at Bella, and she was nodding. "Yeah," she said. "We can come over before Gwen and I have to go to Port Angeles."

Jacob grinned. "Sounds good. I should be able to go after school to get some of these parts during the week, and then we can start on the first bike."

"Sounds like a plan!" I said, waving at him as I shut my door and Bella turned on her truck.

As we were on our way home, I was staring out the window at the solid wall of trees on my side of the road. I couldn't get enough of the greenery surrounding both Forks and La Push. It was such a gorgeous environment, and a part of me longed to climb one of the trees and just live there. I don't think I would ever get tired of Forks, with the amazing rain and wonderful terrain. It was exactly what my heart loved, and I was happy to spend my days surrounded by all the lush forests.

As I stared out the window, a flicker of red between the trees caught my eye.

I frowned, sitting up straighter in the cab. I watched the moving tree line more closely, trying to catch that red color again. When I didn't see it, I turned away from the trees to watch the road, something in my stomach feeling sick again, like it had when we'd heard the wolves howling back at Jacob's garage.

"You okay, Gwen?" Bella asked, noticing the look on my face.

I looked out the window one last time, then shook my head. "Nah, just seeing things."

* * *

I was laying in bed that night, a book in my lap. My jade bedside lamp was on, illuminating the room in a soft, golden glow from the low-watt lightbulb.

My bed was right next to the window looking out over the backyard. Usually, I loved it, but I couldn't shake the sick feeling I'd gotten early. I could hear the wolf howls in my head, playing over and over like they were on repeat. Something about them just wasn't sitting right with me.

 _Maybe I'm just worried about Jacob and his dad? The howls were super close, it's weird to have a pack be so close. What if they're rabid?_

I shook my head a little too forcefully, my vision blurring a little. I sighed, marking my place in my book when I realized that I'd been trying to read the same paragraph for the past fifteen minutes.

Looking around the room, I smiled softly. Charlie had done a great job picking out some stuff for me to touch the room up. It was bad enough he'd went to length of buying a bed for me, he'd gotten me a desk and a rocking chair to make the room more comfortable for me. I used the oak wood desk for my laptop and some of my scratch paper, along with using the large side drawer to store some of my video games.

Charlie had touched it up with some color here and there, like with the green duvet and pillow cases he'd bought, and had also given me a picture of himself, Bella, and I from when Bella and I were eight or seven years old.

It was one of the few times I'd vacationed in Forks the same time as Bella, just before she stopped coming all together. The picture was of us, Charlie in the center with an arm over each of our shoulders, grinning goofily. We were at the lake Charlie fished on, which had never been Bella's favorite activity but I'd never minded. I cared more about lazing about on the boat in the middle of the lake more than the fishing, but I didn't hate it.

 _I'll have to go fishing with him again, one last time._ I thought to myself, trying to distract myself from the aching feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Good lord, I just felt watched. That's what the sick feeling was.

It felt like eyes were just baring down on me. It was so unsettling and finally I closed my curtains. I hadn't felt the need to the whole time I'd been there, seeing as my window was over the back yard and no neighbors could see in. I'd loved watching the forest and the rain run down the window, but for the first time I felt like I just needed to close it.

Once the curtains were closed, I childishly felt safer, and left out a relieved sigh.

 _You're losing it, Swan. Not that you have much sanity left to go, anyway._

* * *

"We can't get any closer."

"Why not?"

"Wolves."

"Children of the moon? Here? What in the world was he thinking?"

"Shapeshifters. They had a treaty. That's what he said in his last letter."

"He isn't here."

"I noticed."

"What about your feeling?"

"I still feel like I need to go there, but if we come any closer to their land they'll attack. We'll have to wait it out."

"Closest town's Port Angeles, my love."

"It'll have to do, I guess."

* * *

 **Alright! I cannot wait to keep writing this story. I am sorry if any of you don't enjoy point of view switches. I like them because they help build the hype and the story, but I don't use them too often. I try not to, at least.**

 **Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter and if you did, please drop a review for me! Tell me if you liked it, or if you think there's something I need touching up on. Thank you all!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, Chapter 5, people! I'm sorry this one took a little longer. I went on a short trip with my husband, and I was also having some trouble hashing this one out. I feel better about it, though, after I finally got through the kinks. Hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 5

* * *

 _"Fear cuts deeper than swords."_

 _\- George R.R. Martin, Game of Thrones_

* * *

Annette "Annie" Marie Swan was a beautiful woman, even when she was younger. Born in Forks, raised in Forks, and died in Forks at the tragic age of twenty.

She had a head of wild, russet brown curls that nearly reached her waist after years of never cutting anything off but split ends. She had the very classic Swan family brown eyes, but she made them look absolutely stunning with the amount of spirit and life she always had swimming in their depths. Pale, like all Swans normally were, and with a face dotted with a few freckles.

From what I knew of my mom, she was a feisty, yet extremely nurturing woman.

Charlie always described her as a wild and free personality. She loved living and was going to take the world by storm, no matter what was in her way.

I always smiled when he said that, but it also made a heavy rock filled with dread settle at the pit of my stomach. My mother had been healthy, strong, and destined for great things. She was going to college while working a full-time job at the hospital as a nurse. She wanted to become a doctor, and she was saving money with her job so that she could finally go to school on campus, while she took what night classes she could through the week.

She was very close to having enough to finally move to Seattle, where she could live as an actual college student while she finished out the rest of her school years and became the badass doctor everyone knew she was destined to be.

Until she met my dad.

Charlie, himself, knew little to nothing about my dad. Nothing truly good to say, though, so we didn't talk about him. Charlie, honestly, didn't even know the guys full name. Just that his first name was Aaron and that he'd traveled into Forks one day, intending to pass through after a night's rest and make his way to Seattle, where he was living at the time.

Annie Swan was a smart woman. But even smart woman can be tricked by charming men.

Aaron ended up needing medical attention after a bar fight erupted in Forks one of two bars, The Little Oak. He'd gotten a cut above his eye that'd needed stitches, which he apparently told my mother he obtained from trying to break the fight up that had occurred in the bar that night.

Through what must've been a healthy amount of charm and sweet words, my mom ended up spending one night with him at his hotel room, and the next day he was gone.

She wasn't broken hearted or really discouraged by the fact that he'd left her quickly and with nothing more than his phone number. She decided not to use it. She'd find someone a lot more capable of handling her and all the things she wanted out of life, not some charismatic stranger that couldn't even stick around for a good-bye breakfast.

Until three months later, when she'd realized she was pregnant.

Charlie remembered that moment, because he said she'd come to take the tests at his and Renee's home instead of at their parents, where she still lived so that she could help them around the house from time to time. Grandma Swan could be very nosey, from what I've heard.

All three tests she took were positive. Charlie and Renee both expected her to cry, to be angry, or worse.

Instead, she smiled.

She marched me around in her belly with a sense of pride, ignoring all the sneers and stares that people gave her for being pregnant without being married. She was so proud of me, before I was even born. Renee soon became pregnant with Bella during that whole ordeal, and the two women seemed to bond a bit during that. Charlie always said Annie hadn't really cared for Renee, even after he'd married her. She would tell him multiple times that Renee wasn't a good match for him.

Annie continued working until she was nearly bursting with me. But, I, apparently, had other plans instead of being on time and made my jailbreak just under a month early.

There were a lot of excuses and reasons as to why she began to die on the table right after the doctors had rescued me. Loss of blood, they couldn't stabilize it. There was no real word or explanation of it. Just that, at the end of the night, Annie Swan died from child labor and I was born into the world orphaned.

Charlie tried his best to take care of me while the system started their end of the job. They'd put me in his care, temporarily. Soon, he and Renee were raising both me and Bella, who was born about three months after myself. Then Renee blew a gasket about being "stuck in Forks forever", packed up herself and Bella, and left Charlie alone with me while she went to go stay with her own mother in Arizona.

When the divorce papers came, Renee stated that she wanted full custody of Bella, where she could control when and if Charlie actually saw her. Charlie only had so much time before he needed to go back to work. He was running out of money, couldn't raise me fully alone, and he needed to fight for some sort of custody for his own daughter.

He, very regretfully, gave me to the system so that he could focus himself and his lawyer on getting himself at least decent visitation rights over Bella. He said he would always regret that, because before the court date between himself and Renee she'd already redecided to give him partial custody on Bella.

That's the story I'd always heard when I'd asked Charlie how I came to be about in this world. Knowing I didn't come from a loving relationship really hadn't bothered me, because my mother had loved me more than two parents could ever dream of loving a child. Even before I was born she loved me more than anything else in life.

And I took that from her.

I know I couldn't fully blame myself. I was an infant, brought into the world from a short fling. I had no choice or say in the matter, I was coming into this world whether I wanted to or not. But, knowing that my mom had had a bright, amazing future ahead of her and that I had, technically, been the reason she hadn't lived on to pursue that, made me feel sick to my stomach. Any mother worth her salt, loves her child unconditionally, and I know she's probably looking down on me wanting to tan my hide because I felt this way, but I couldn't change how I felt.

If I hadn't been born, my mother would be alive, a doctor, and probably have a different, more well put together family with some male doctor who treated her right. She'd have lived a healthy and full life, something I could only ever dream of having.

* * *

We visited Jacob two more times during the week, instead of just waiting until Saturday when Bella had her friend-date with this girl named Jessica. Which, apparently, I was being drug along to.

Jacob seemingly loved the company. He joked around with me the whole time while not so subtly flirting with my cousin, who seemed unable to tell the different between flirting and joking unless someone explained it to her. I don't think she saw Jacob the same way he saw her, but when she joked back with him, I think he believed that she did.

Jacob had already started dismantling pieces off the bike, beginning to clean and tune up some of the inner parts that were still intact. I'd nearly choked at how much cleaner they looked just without an inch of dirt on them. They were still rusted and unkept, but they looked much better cleaned up some.

On the second day we visited during the week, we met Jacob's two best friends, Quil and Embry. They were just like Jacob; unfiltered goofballs. They'd teased and joked about Jacob hanging out with two older women alone, and laughed maniacally together when he finally started chasing them with a wrench.

It was fun watching the three of them, and I could tell Bella was loving it, too, even though their comments had originally made her blush scarlet.

Soon, however, too soon for me, it was time for us to go to Port Angeles with this Jessica person.

Bella and I were lounging in Jacob's garage after arriving there a few hours early, and Jacob and I were both singing obnoxiously loud along with the radio as we both worked on the bikes.

"Shot through the heart, and you're to blame! Darlin' you give looovee… A bad name!" we crowed, with me using a wrench as a mic for extra dramatic flair, and Bella shook her head at us.

"You guys are so weird," she chuckled.

"You like it," I told her, smiling.

Jacob raised a brow at her. "If you don't like Bon Jovi, what could you possibly be into?"

Bella thought for a moment, looking lost. "I stopped listening to music, really…"

Jacob opened his mouth to pry, but I sensed this was a very ex-boyfriend-y subject and quickly interjected. "Then we have to keep showing you the good stuff, Bells. We have to culture you in the glorious ways of rock and roll."

Bella rolled her eyes, then looked at the clock. "Damn-"

"Bella, please, no cursing in Jacob's good Christian garage," I interjected.

Jacob snorted and Bella glared playfully. "Shush, you. We gotta go. Jessica is expecting us to come pick her up soon."

"Oooorr you could ditch," Jacob told her, grinning playfully. But the look in his eyes said that he was hoping she would say yes.

Bella groaned, putting her head in her hands. "I can't. Charlie's been wanting me to spend more time with some of the kids from my school. I already told him about this girl's night so if we ended up not going he'd get mad."

I smiled softly. Bella was showing more and more emotion to Jacob and I with every passing day. I was proud of how far my cousin was coming out of her depression. It seemed that, with us, it helped her forget about her pain and loss. If I could see her fully happy and smiling before I died, I'd declare my mission complete.

We bid Jacob goodbye, and got in Bella's truck just before Quil and Embry pulled up in Embry's truck.

"Hey! Where do you two think you're going?" Quil crowed, poking his head out of the passenger window. "The party's just arrived!"

"Har har," I told him, rolling down my window a bit. "More like the party's just about to leave."

"You hate us," Embry said, looking around Quil to throw me a fake pout.

I mocked gasped. "Never! I could never put my undying love for your both into proper words."

They both laughed, and waved us off as Bella started leaving the drive. I turned back in my seat and buckled myself in, grinning silently to myself.

Bella glanced at me from the corner of her eyes. "What's that face all about?"

I composed myself a bit, toning myself down to a small smile. "I dunno… I guess I never got to really have friends like that before. I had some childhood friends here and there, but none who really stuck. And once I got sick, I missed out on a lot since Janette pulled me out of school to start homeschooling. We may not know them too well yet, but they're fun to joke around with. Jacob, too."

Bella was nodding along with what I was saying, tapping her fingers against the steering wheel. "Yeah… they're fun. It's funny to watch them all joke around together."

I smiled, glad I could finally hold conversations with my cousin without her shutting them down with short answers.

We kept talking as we drove back into Forks, Bella even allowing me to turn on some rock so that I could continue to teach her the ways of rock and roll. We passed home, heading straight towards where she said this Jessica person lived.

 _'Well, hopefully she's nice,'_ I thought to myself as we pulled up to a nice house we'd driven past quite a few times when we went to the grocery store.

 _Time to pretend to be normal._

* * *

 **Alice Cullen**

* * *

I huffed softly to myself, trying to pick out an outfit for my trip into the city. Of course, I'd be buying more clothes there, but I couldn't just turn up in any old rags. I also had a few garbage bags of clothes to donate to the goodwill, all of them I'd worn once or twice and didn't really have a huge interest in wearing again. It was a win-win, because I made sure to cut out the tags before giving them away.

Someone less fortunate could pay a small amount for some designer clothes and not even know it!

I smiled. I love giving gifts, even if they're small.

 _I should hunt before I go… I haven't gone in a while_.

Jasper was out hunting with Carlisle, Esme, and Edward, so I was the only one left in the house. Rosalie and Emmett had decided to go on a vacation away from the family, needing their own space from the horrible atmosphere lingering in the house.

I hated when the family split up indefinitely. Rose and Emmett certainly hadn't told us when they'd be back, which was worrying. But I tried to keep an eye on anything dangerous in their future, while also dodging accidental visions of their… escapades.

It was hard to have another thing to look for, when I was already desperately trying to search for more about Jasper's mate.

I'd spent days trying to see different paths, and all of them were absolutely terrifying. If I left to go to Forks without the rest of the family, Edward would accidentally kill the girl. I couldn't see the full context of that future, only that my leaving would trigger Edward to follow and try to stop me. Something would happen between the girl and Bella, some sort of fight, and when the girl tried to shake Bella, as though trying to shake sense into her, Edward's more primal side would lash out due to his lack of feeding and he'd use too much force trying to get her away from his mate. She was fragile already, so I think the push shattered most her ribcage.

I shook my head, trying to shake the awful memory of that potential future from my head. Vampire memory was a curse when paired with my gift. There were many possible futures I'd seen and wished I could just forget.

One, where I decided to tell Jasper the straight truth about his mate's existence, he'd instantly run to go get he and end up breaking the treaty following her scent into La Push after he realized the wolves of this generation had begun to change. He'd fear for her safe and bolt right into their territory. Then he'd get ripped to shreds by the wolves, after killing three of them single handedly in a blind rage, not even seeing his mate before his untimely death.

I sighed, drumming my fingers against my thigh. _There has got to be some way to make this work._

I felt a cold chill down my back, and everything faded into black as I felt a vision clawing it's way through me. A barrage of voices and screams ripped through my head like wild animals trying to escape, and I realized it was Bella and the girl screaming for their lives. Something terribly wrong was going to happen. I couldn't possibly get to them in time, not even with vampire speed.

Suddenly, another voice broke through the rest. A voice I recognized, one that definitely shouldn't be in Washington but somehow was. Conveniently, when I needed them to be there the most. He roared, and I could hear the girls cry out.

I gasped softly as my real sight came back to me and I instantly pulled my phone from my pocket. I quickly scrolled through my contacts and sent out a call, praying that he would pick up.

"Come on, come on, come on," I muttered, pacing around my room and hoping that none of the family would return.

"Pixie," the voice on the other end answered, a southern drawl coming through the phone speaker.

I sighed with relief. "Peter."

* * *

 **Gwen Swan**

* * *

Jessica Stanley was born with the curse of gab. I know the saying says it's the 'gift of gab', and maybe it was to her, but to everyone else it was a damn curse.

She couldn't stop talking the whole way to Port Angeles. Gossip, gossip, and more gossip pooled out from her mouth like vomit. I knew more about people I had never met before in Forks than I'd ever want to know about anyone, ever. And, half the time, I couldn't even keep track of who the hell she was talking about.

I tried to like her, I really, really did. But after hearing her talking badly about so many people that supposedly called her a friend, I was ready to either strangle her or jump from her moving car. I couldn't imagine spending day after day in school with this girl. She was likely to talk her garbage gossip right into one ear until you had sewage spewing from the other, wanting to end yourself with the nearest sharp object.

I was thankful to be sitting in the back seat of the car, not feeling the least bit sorry for my cousin in the front. I couldn't believe she'd invited me to spend time with such an awful person.

 _Maybe she is really nice underneath the constant moving of her mouth._

Resisting the urge to bash my head against the window until I lost consciousness, I breathed a sigh of relief as we pulled into a parking lot for a movie theater. It was smooshed between the theater and another building, very cramped and almost hidden from the street.

"Okay," Jessica said, glancing at the title's displayed on the front boards of theater. "What do we want to see? Oooo! They're playing My Ever After, that looked super cute _and_ absolutely hilarious! Let's watch that."

"No," Bella and I said at the same time, both blanching at the idea of a romantic comedy movie.

Jessica pouted. "But the only other movie they're showing is some stupid horror movie."

And stupid it was. While Jessica huffed about us not agreeing to watch the soppy chick flick with her, she'd been right about the horror movie being unbearably terrible. Bella was deer-eyeing the screen through the whole damn thing so I doubt she was even paying attention, while Jessica was actually scared of the super cheap atmosphere music and extra terrible acting.

I loved good horror, and this was far from that.

"Ugh," Jessica shivered as we exited the theater. "I'm going to have nightmares tonight. Thanks, guys."

I snorted out a laugh, "It wasn't really that scary."

She glared at me. "At least I didn't laugh at the thing like a weirdo," she sneered. "Who laughs when people die in movies?"

Bella frowned. "Gwen's not weird, Jess. The acting was pretty terrible."

She looked between Bella and I and then huffed. "Okay, whatever. You guys picked the movie, though, so I'm picking the food. Let's go to that fancy Chinese place a few blocks away. Lauren had her last date there and said it was really great food."

"Chinese is good," I said with a shrug.

We decided to walk instead of taking Jessica's car. It was a good few minutes' walk away, but the night air felt nice and cool. We were at the restaurant in no time and it ended up being a good meal. It wasn't the cheap, oily Chinese takeout we'd get in Forks. We'd probably all spent a little more on it than we'd liked to, being that it _wasn't_ a cheap Chinese takeout place, but it'd been worth the money spent.

It had started to get a little awkward between the three of us towards the middle of dinner, because, finally, Jessica seemed to realize that we didn't care at all about any of the people or things she was talking about.

 _Ahh, sweet silence._

We were leaving the restaurant and just about to walk back to the car when I heard some cat calls from across the street.

"Hey ladies!" a man sitting outside the scummy bar across the street was calling to us, some of his friends standing around him whistling and grinning at us. A couple of them were making some pretty obscene gestures at the three of us, and anyone with a good pair of eyes could see they were all blasted.

Even so, didn't give any of them the right to talk to high school girls, as they all looked to be in their mid to late twenties.

"Disgusting," Jessica muttered, and for the first time this whole night, I agreed with her completely.

"Come on, let us buy you a drink or two! We don't bite!"

We kept walking, but I stopped when I noticed that Bella wasn't with us. Panicked, I turned quickly, seeing my cousin standing back where we had stood, looking at the men with contemplation. My heart sank in my chest a bit. Something felt wrong.

I quickly walked back to her. "Bella? Come on. They're just some sleazy guys, let's go home."

But Bella looked far away now. She was giving off that same look she'd given in the junk yard, like she was seeing something that I couldn't. Instead of looking at me, she continued to stare at the thin air. She stepped forward, into the street and closer to the creepy guys. They were cheering, waving for her to come and join them. While I didn't believe she was actually wanting to join them, her actions were giving them the wrong idea.

This was way too dangerous.

"Bella!" I hissed, quickly following. "What the hell are you doing?"

She walked forward a bit more, reaching a hand towards the air. Almost like she was reaching for someone, but there was no one close enough.

"Are you nuts!" I cried, looking at my cousin like she'd just gone mad. Which, in my mind, she basically had. "Look, I'd rather not get roofied and taken to some weird guy's kidnapper dungeon, okay? I am not going over there. And I'm not going to let you, either. If I have to take you down with my pointy elbows, I will, cousin, no holds barred."

Bella suddenly looked at me, her eyes focusing back. "I… yeah, let's go. I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking.."

"Clearly," I huffed, pulling my cousin along with by arm.

"Are you crazy?" Jessica snapped at my cousin once we'd reached her. "Didn't they ever teach you 'stranger danger' in Arizona?"

Bella sighed. "Sorry, I… I thought I knew one of them."

Judging by Jessica's face, she believed Bella just about as much as I did. My cousin truly was a shitty liar.

We walked the rest of the block and just before we reached the end we turned back down an alleyway we'd used to get to restaurant. It'd been a good shortcut on the way there, and while I hadn't minded the night air before, it was much colder now that it'd gotten later in the night. I was spooked from those sleaze bags and had had my life time's fill of Jessica Stanley. If I never saw her ever again, or heard her gossip, I'd die happy.

It was when we were about halfway through it when we all jumped, hearing something behind us. Laughter, followed by close footsteps.

"Oh my god," Jessica hissed, her hand reaching out and clutching Bella's sleeve. "I think they're following us."

God, I'd feared so many things before that moment, but not like that. I feared death, but death was slow coming in its chase for me. I feared snakes, but never had a proper run in with one to even justify it. Everything I'd feared in my whole life were a composition of things that I'd never actually faced properly yet. But this time, this was real. The fear was real, and I knew that we were in trouble.

Fear slithered down my spine, and I felt a heavy stone sink into the pit of my stomach.

"Come on now, no need to be so cold, ladies. We were having a good talk."

I cursed in my head, feeling tears building in my eyes. We needed to get away as quickly as we could. Whatever intentions they had couldn't have been good. I highly doubted they just wanted to escort us back to the car safely.

We needed to get to the car, and we needed to do it fast. But, there was a problem with that. I couldn't run for more than a few paces without losing just about all of my air or sending myself into a panic. My whole body was used to the delicate life it'd been sequestered to, and I wasn't going to be able to run for very long.

"We've got to run," Bella said as we neared the end of the alley, panic shining in her eyes.

I swallowed, my heart hammering inside of my chest. "Yeah."

If I couldn't make it, surly they'd have enough time to get away, right? And they'd find help, and I would be okay. That's all that needed to happen. As long as they could make it to the car safely, they would have enough time to call for help and I'd be okay.

Right?

"When we go to turn, we run," Jessica agreed.

"Hey! You bitches! We're talking to you!" one of them slurred angrily, and their voices echoed all around us.

We reached the end of the alleyway quicker than I'd thought, and Jessica and Bella instantly bolted. I cursed, and ran after them, instantly feeling my lungs begin to seize with effort. A cold sweat had broken out across my skin nearly instantly, both from the running and from the pure and utter terror pulsing through me.

They were running after us, I could hear their footsteps and their muffled yells and calls for us to stop. This had become very real, very quickly. They wanted to harm us and they weren't going to give up their chase easily.

We'd only made it halfway when Bella tripped. Honestly, I'd expected her to trip, that was a normal Bella thing, but when she didn't start to get back up right away, that's when I worried. I'd heard a noise as she'd fallen, and I realized then that maybe she'd hit something or broken something on her way down.

"Bella!" I cried, crumbling down next to her as I stopped to try and shake her. The rough ground scratched at my knees through the material of my jeans as I shook my cousin. "Bella, c'mon!"

She had to have hit her head when she'd fallen, and I honestly think the impact had knocked my cousin straight out. I couldn't wake her.

I heard footsteps behind me, chasing after us. I looked up, and saw Jessica nowhere to be found in the alley. She'd kept going, even after she'd heard Bella fall and my screaming. I didn't know whether to think of her as a coward, or to ask myself if I'd done the same in her shoes. People did weird things when they were scared, even abandon others in need.

Footsteps were drawing closer, and I was my losing vision as my blood continued to race and pump through me.

"Shit!" I cried, feeling hot tears spill over onto my cheeks. "Help! Someone!"

I held onto my cousin, trying not to move her too much incase she'd hurt herself. I wasn't going to leave her behind, I couldn't. I knew that I could never live with myself if I left her in that alley alone, even if I did manage to get out without blacking out from lack of oxygen. Bella was my family, my friend. I loved her, I couldn't lose her without fighting for her.

The footsteps came to a halt just a couple feet away, and I cried harder, tears blinding my vision as I struggled to take in a complete breath.

 _Bella, I'm so sorry I'm not strong enough. I can't protect us._

"Now, now, kitten, why are you crying?" one many whispered, his hot, foul breath wafting against my cheek, and I felt a hand lightly touch my hair.

"Get away from me!" I snapped, smacking at the hand blindly as I felt my body begin to tremble with fear.

I heard chuckling. "She's a feisty one. Too bad about the other one, she's got a bit more meat on her. But I'm sure we can have just as much fun with you."

Sobbing harder, I pressed my forehead against Bella's, apologizing to her over and over in my head because I didn't know what else to do or say. I was frozen in absolute terror. I knew there was nothing I could do to help either of us. There was barely any fight left in me after that short sprint, and I was very aware that these men could overpower me.

I felt a sharp whoosh of air in front of me, and I lifted my head slightly at the strange feeling.

"Now, now, I'm sure you gentlemen aren't harassing these poor ladies, right? Because that wouldn't be too nice, now would it?"

Startled, I looked up, and through my tears I could see two people standing between me and the men. One was a tall, slender man with long blond hair so light that it nearly looked white, tied back neatly at the nape of his neck with a black hair tie. The other was a woman, with blond hair not quite as light as his, and cut short like a fairy.

Their backs were to me, like they were shielding me.

"Wuhh," one of the drunks staggered, his face confused. "Where did you come from?"

"Ya didn't answer my question," the man spat angrily, a smooth southern drawl coming from his lips. "Why are ya harassing young girls? Is that how ya get your kicks? Huh?"

I gasped for air, feeling my lungs screaming for sweet relief from the pain. My body was shaking like a leaf in a wind storm, and I felt so cold. I was lightheaded, and I knew I wasn't going to stay conscious for much longer. But I didn't feel so scared, anymore. These people were here to help. We were going to be okay. I could live for just a little longer.

The woman glanced at me from over her shoulder, hearing my wheezing and gasping breaths. For a moment, with the way the moonlight glimmered in her eyes, my oxygen deprived brain could've sworn that her eyes looked pitch black.

I felt myself slumping over against Bella, and I sighed softly as the darkness called out to me. For a moment I could've sworn I'd heard yelling and a scuffle, and my sleep mind just hoped the two strangers were okay.

* * *

 **Alice Cullen**

* * *

"Ya know I don't gossip well, you should call Char for that," he said, and I could hear the smirk in his voice.

I heard the sound of smack as Peter's mate, Charlotte, seemingly hit him for his comment.

"Thanks Char," I chirped, laughing softly.

"Alright, alright, damn, you two always gang up on me," Peter grumbled. "What'd ya see in your magic ball?"

"You're in Port Angeles," I stated, and grinned when he went silent for a moment.

"Yeah, and you guys aren't in Forks anymore," he stated. "What happened with that?"

"I can't talk to you long Peter, everyone will be home soon," I said quickly. "Just listen, you being in Washington is actually perfect. But, listen. I have to tell you something and you have to swear to keep it from Jasper and the rest of the family until I tell you that we can get them all back to Forks."

"You know I don't like keeping secrets from my brother," Peter stated, with a heavy sigh. "This better be a good excuse."

"Jasper's true mate is in Forks," I blurted, waiting patiently as the other end went silent.

"…and you think keeping that bit of information from him is a smart idea?" Peter bit out sarcastically.

"Yes," I answered instantly. "He'll get torn apart by the wolf pack trying to get to her if he comes now. Every option I've been looking at so far ends awfully. I've watched her die so many times, Peter. I've watched Jasper die. This situation is way too delicate to let him know now. I can't tell him until I can get him to Forks to meet her on his own, without my help."

Peter whistled softly. "Jesus…"

"She's going to be in Port Angeles soon," I told him. "I don't know what day. She's cousins with Edward's mate, Bella. I can send you a picture of her and then just look for the girl with curly brown hair with her. I can't see her properly otherwise I'd give you a better description."

"Why the hell is Edward's mate still here? Didn't y'all take her with ya?"

"No," I said, exasperated. "Edward thinks that by denying the mating pull and leaving her alone, she will get to live a full, happy, human life. He doesn't believe that she can feel the pull to the same extent that he can and that it won't hurt her as much as it hurts him. He doesn't want to damn her, even though she wanted to become a vampire for him."

"…Edward's a fucking idiot," Peter groaned. "Okay, okay. Back on topic. Look for Edward mate, and the girl. What's going to happen?"

I relayed my vision back to him, as much detail as I could gather from the darkness and yelling, and I could hear the growl in his voice as he spoke back to me. "See, now this is why we don't take up your diet. People like that deserve to die, I don't care what Carlisle says."

"Peter, I need you to watch out for her," I said, after waiting patiently for him to stop ranting.

"Can't," he said shortly. "Those wolves won't honor the treaty with us, ya know that. We're human drinkers. They'll kill us on sight."

"I know," I sighed. "Just… try to stay alert on those feelings of yours. Obviously, she's what called you to Forks."

Peter was silent for a second. "And what if something happens. What do we do?"

I bit my lip. "If… If you feel like something really bad is going to happen, then you need to act. If we haven't gotten back to Forks and the girl is at risk you need to take her from there, without alerting Bella or her father, Charlie. I'll be looking for her future and if something doesn't seem right, I'll let you know. Otherwise, you should just take her and keep her safe until we can get her and Jasper together."

"Agreed," he mused, then sighed. "Alright, pixie, we're going to start making rounds around town. See if we can find her. Send me that picture of Edward's mate, he's still a dumbass, by the way."

"I agree," I sighed. "We're trying to explain it to him but he's really set in his ways."

Peter snorted. "Just have Jasper sit the boy down. We saw plenty of mates die from heartbreak in the Mexican coven. Human and vampire. It'll kill them both slowly and painfully."

I winced at the thought of my dear brother and best friend dying so tragically. "I… I'll see if Jasper will agree. Maybe that'll make him let us come back, who knows."

"Whatever, I'd just kick his ass and drag him back by the ears if I was you," he said nonchalantly.

I chuckled. Peter had never had a good tolerance for Edward when he was going through one of his dramatic phases. Otherwise, the two got along decently well. "I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, Peter, your help means a lot."

"I'm doing it for my brother. After all the shit we went through, it's about time he found his mate," Peter said, and I was glad he couldn't see me wince. "Alright, talk to you later, pixie."

We hung up, and I sighed softly, my heart heavy. It was much later, after the sun had set and I was driving back from my trip to the city, when Charlotte had finally sent me the text I'd been holding my breath for. I held the steering wheel in one hand and my phone in the other, stopped safely at a red light.

 _'Her name is Gwen. We found them in time, neither saw us.'_

I wondered how Peter and Charlotte managed to pull off hiding their vampirism from Bella, when she knew very intimately how vampires looked, acted, and sounded, from all the time she'd spent with us.

 _With her luck she fell and knocked herself out_ , I thought to myself, chuckling at my own joke about my friend's clumsiness.

My phone buzzed again, and I looked back down just as the light turned green and the person behind me honked. I quickly put my phone down and accelerated, feeling a knot form in my stomach. In that split second, I'd been able to read Char's whole message, and it was highly concerning.

 _'Something is wrong with her. She doesn't smell fully human.'_

* * *

 **Thank you so much to all of you who reviewed, favorited, and followed! It's super appreciated and I really hope this chapter turned out well for you all.  
**

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	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, this chapter ended up pretty long, and I'm pretty proud of it. I was having a great time writing it and doing my proof reading, so I really hope you guys enjoy it!**

 **Also! I've decided to start putting quotes at the beginnings of the chapters. They're ones that I feel someone relate to either the undertone of the chapter or the content within.**

* * *

Chapter 6

* * *

 _"Don't walk in front of me… I may not follow_  
 _Don't walk behind me… I may not lead_  
 _Walk beside me… just be my friend"_

 _\- Albert Camus_

* * *

Jessica, Bella, and I were released from Port Angeles Hospital the Sunday morning after the terrible night previous, having all given a police report and getting some of our scratches and bumps checked out. Bella, thankfully, hadn't given herself a concussion from her trip in the alleyway.

I couldn't remember much before I passed out. I remember those sleazy guys chasing us, and cradling Bella in the alley. I remembered that someone came to our rescue, and that was it. After that I'd completely blanked. We'd been found in the alley, just Bella and I by ourselves. Jessica had almost made it to the car before she'd gotten knocked out by someone. Part of me wondered how one of those guys had gotten to Jessica, when we'd all been in the alley and I was pretty sure none of them had squeezed around Bella and I, but she'd been found knocked out just feet away from her car after she'd dialed 911 on her cellphone.

The men who had chased us were nowhere to be found. We'd given the most vague police reports ever, because none of them had really had any defining features for any of us to remember. We'd been more concern about getting away from the drunkards, instead of trying to look at their features. All we were really able to tell them were some pretty general hair colors and skin tones, but other than that we had given then nothing to go off of.

At the hospital, we'd been given sleeping meds after they'd checked us out, despite my protests. I spent the rest of the night in a haze, not sleeping but with a cloud hanging over my face. It only started to fade in the morning, when the doctors started getting the paperwork around for our release and the police had come back to grill us some more about the men.

I had never been happier to be riding in the back of a police cruiser than I was then.

I was so relieved that we'd all come out practically unscathed. That had been way too real of an experience, one I'd never expected to happen to me. Though I think most people attacked in the night felt the same. That mentality of _'Surely it'll never happen to me, nothing ever really happens to me so I should be safe.'_

"I can't let you girls out of my sight, can I?" Charlie grumbled as he drove us home, after we parted with Jessica and her parents in the parking lot.

Jessica had been very quite the whole time we were being picked up by the ambulance and at the hospital, a small, angry looking bruise blossomed against the side of her face. She hadn't seemed like she'd wanted anything to do with Bella and I after we'd arrived at the hospital. I was fine with that. After my panic, I'd concluded that I owed Jessica for calling the police, but that still didn't make me feel the need to be her friend.

Bella was leaning her head on my shoulder, sitting with me in the back of the cruiser. I had my arm over her shoulder and my hand was running through her hair, like I used to do with Sierra when she was upset. Bella had a small set of stitches on her temple, from where the rock she'd faceplanted into had cut her head open. Thankfully, that hadn't been very deep cut.

I sighed, looking at my uncle through the bars between the back of the cruiser and the front. "I'm sorry, Uncle Charlie."

"Sorry?" He said angrily. "What are you sorry for? You girls shouldn't have to fear for your damn lives having a simple movie night! Those scum bags better hope that PAPD catch them first, because if I find them first I'll-"

"Uncle Charlie," I soothed, interrupting my visibly distraught Uncle. "It's okay. We're okay. Whoever it was that saved us and scared those guys off came at the right time. No one got hurt, they hadn't any time to touch us. We're okay."

His fists clenched the steering wheel tightly, and then relaxed. "I know, I just… I can't imagine something like that happening to my girls. I don't know what I'd done if they'd managed to get to you two."

"You'd have had to learn to cook for yourself, for one," I teased, trying to make him feel better. "Because you know we'd both be haunting you if you kept ordering only take out for meals."

He glared at me in the rearview mirror, his mustache twitching as he fought off a smile. "I'm serious, Gwen."

"Are you kidding?" Bella spoke softly, lifting her head off my shoulder. "Pizza is one of dad's major food groups."

That did it, and he shook his head as we giggled in the back seat. "You two just gotta gang up on your old man, don't ya? Alright, you'll be singing a different tune when you're asking me to order something tonight for supper."

Cooking really didn't sound that appealing to either of us, I could tell by the look on Bella's face that even she wanted to just relax once we'd gotten home. We'd had too rough of a night to feel like even looking at the stove, let alone cooking on it.

There was a moment of silence, where none of us really said anything, until I finally broke.

"…I _could_ go for a meat lover's pizza," I whispered, and Charlie started to laugh.

Bella smiled, nodding in agreement.

God, I loved this family. Even though Bella was a work in progress and Charlie a bit emotionally stunted sometimes, himself, they were everything I could've asked for in my blood family.

* * *

"When can we come visit, sis?" Sierra asked, her voice cracking slightly as I tried to find good reception in my room.

The best spot seemed to be at the very corner of my bed, near the window. I sighed, plopping onto the mattress and sitting Indian style. "I don't know, squirt. That's up to Janette, and you know she isn't going to let you guys take a vacation from school unless you get your grades up."

I heard her groan loudly. "It's only a couple classes! And they're really, really hard, Gwen! The teachers grade too tough."

"Wait until you get to your senior year," I told her, chuckling.

Sierra huffed. "I just want to work on my drawing."

Sierra was just as good at drawing as she was at makeup. She was aspiring to become a tattoo artist, from what she'd always told me. She wanted to practice drawing as much as she could, so that she could get good enough to do beautiful portraits and pictures on people's skin. I thought it was a wonderful dream and goal, but Janette would have to take some time getting used to it when Sierra finally decided to tell her she wanted to go to art school once she graduated.

"You'll get more electives," I told her, from what I'd heard of high school from Bella. "They even have more tiers of Drawing classes in some schools. I'm sure they have stuff there, just take those."

"Mom wants me to take accounting, she thinks that would be a good job for me."

I could practically hear the younger girl rolling her eyes through the phone.

I smiled. "Well, how about going for Personal Finance? It certainly isn't accounting but that should placate Janette some. Besides, that class teaches you the life stuff you need to know like budgeting, saving for a house, for a car, and how to do your EZ tax form yourself. That stuff they don't really teach you unless you take that class."

Sierra hummed. "Sounds boring as hell, but I guess you're right. If it keeps me from accounting then I'll do it."

"Hey," I told her, a smile in my voice. "I'll always be up for a tattoo from my lil sis once you get on your path. As long as I'm still here once you're certified, I'll be your first customer."

"Don't say that like that," she said, her voice quivering. "You're going to make it. I don't believe it."

"Sierra," I sighed, softly.

"No!" she shouted, upset. "I can't… you can't. You're my big sister. I won't have anyone to talk to when you're gone, you can't go."

I played with the strings of my hoodie, feeling tears building up in my eyes. We'd had this conversation more than once, but Sierra was very strong willed. She didn't want to believe that I was going to die, even when I'd lived with them and the evidence had been right before her eyes.

"Listen to me, little bird," I told her, calling her Lukas' favorite nickname for her. "When I die, and I will die,"

She went to protest, and I shushed her. "Now, listen. When I die, I will never be fully gone, okay? I don't know what's out there. Heaven, hell, God, gods, or just a void. Maybe I'll die and become another star in the sky, who knows. I've never had the time to waste contemplating on any of that. But I do know that I will _always_ be with you and Eric, and mom and dad, okay?"

I heard a sniffle on the other line, and my heart cried for my poor little sister.

"You know, little bird, I never met my mom," I continued. "But I feel her. She's with me, in my heart. Every time I need her, I know she's there cheering me on or comforting me. Just because we can't see the ones who have passed doesn't mean they've left us for good."

She sobbed. "I know, I know."

Great, now I was crying. I hated crying.

Tears spilled over despite my efforts to keep them down, and I quickly swiped at them with my sleeve.

"I love you, little bird," I told her, trying hard to not let her know I was crying.

"I love you, too," she croaked, clearing her throat. "And you're right, I know you're right. It's just going to be so hard."

We continued talking, and I tried to soothe her the best that I could before changing the subject away from death. She was fifteen, and while most kids her age had usually experienced some sort of loss by that time in their life, it wasn't always as dire and intimate as losing a sibling. I couldn't imagine how awful she and Eric felt, losing their older sister. I know I feared my death, but I was coming to my terms with it. But they would have to deal with losing me for the rest of their lives.

 _"Sierra Anne Johnson, you have homework to finish, time to hang up!"_ I heard Janette yell somewhere in the background of Sierra's phone.

She sighed. "Okay!" she called to her mother, then spoke to me. "I've gotta go, sis. Thanks for talking to me, I really needed it today."

I smiled, even though she could see it. "I think I did, too. Talk to you later, squirt. Call me whenever."

"I will!" she chirped, and the line clicked.

Pocketing my cellphone, I heaved out a long sigh. My shoulders felt heavy with guilt. I knew there was nothing I could do about my death, but I felt bad that everyone around me was feeling the effects of it, as well. It was inevitable, people got sad when people they loved went through tragedy or died, but it still sucked to know that I was hurting my siblings.

There was a knock on my door.

"Gwen?" Bella's voice came from the other side. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah!" I called, not moving from my bed and trying to wipe any lingering tears away from my cheeks and eyes.

Either way, I probably looked like a hot mess. I always did anymore. I really gave up on my vanity first thing, when I realized how my disease made me look like a walking corpse. Sure, maybe a little eyeliner and mascara helped me feel a bit nicer, but I just stopped feeling like there was anyone I needed to impress over my own comfort. I figured that if I was going to die, I was going to wear and do whatever I wanted with my body. I didn't care if I threw my hair in a ponytail and walked in town wearing a sweat shirt and jeans, because, goddamnit, if I was dying young, I had the right to die comfy.

Bella walked into my room, and plopped onto my bed. "Jake wants to know if we feel up to coming over? He knows Charlie let me take off from school today to recoup."

I smiled. Just what I needed, a good distraction. "Yeah, sounds good. Charlie shouldn't care, he's been enjoying that we've been hanging out with Jacob, anyway."

We got around and hit the road just as a small drizzle started. We loaded up into my Buick this time, because my speakers were in better condition than the ones in Bella's truck. I think she also enjoyed the break from driving. Me, I just enjoyed the freedom of driving and the fact that no one had to help me into my car, while anymore I needed someone assistance to get in and out of Bella's truck.

When we got to La Push and to Jacob's, I could see Embry's truck in the drive.

"Ahhh," I mused, putting my car in park. "The whole circus is here, I see."

Bella chuckled, and we got out. We let ourselves into the garage without knocking, as we'd gotten too much flak for being polite the first two times we'd visited. Instantly we were met with playful arguing, Quil and Embry shouting at each other back and forth. Jacob was bent over and rummaging in the fridge in the back corner of the garage, probably putting some more sodas in to cool.

"And I'm telling you that Superman would kick Batman's ass a million times over," Embry ground out, waving a half-eaten beef jerky stick in Quil's face.

"Nah," Quil said simply, not even elaborating just to get Embry more riled up.

"Batman is best hero, hands down," I told them, and all three boys jumped out of their skins, having not even heard us come in. The fridge gave a shake as Jacob banged his head on the top shelf accidentally, a curse leaving his mouth.

I pulled up a chair and sat down, taking out my inhaler and taking a puff of it. My lungs were a little tight since the morning, so I'd been having to use at more regular intervals than normal. Bella followed my lead, pulling up a large cooler to turn into her chair and sitting down next to me, her face amused as I joined in on the argument.

"Aha!" Quil said, point at me. "See, Gwen's on the path of righteousness. Batman is amazing."

Embry huffed. "I'm not saying he's not, I'm just saying that in a real fight, Superman would win."

I pursed my lips. "Hmm, nah."

Quil laughed as Embry groaned. "You two are so annoying!"

Jacob finally emerged from the fridge, arms now loaded with some cold sodas. He was grinning as he handed Bella and I our sodas first, then his friends. "Now, now, girls, you're both pretty. We shall settle this argument with the tie breaker. Bella, who do you like best?"

Bella shuffled, clearly not up to date at all with superheros and comics. I grinned cheekily at my cousin, batting my eyes lashes at her, as I wanted her to vote for my superhero.

"Uhh, I don't know. I never cared for either. I liked the Spider-man movies, though," she said, and Embry, Quil, and I groaned loudly.

Jacob cheered, raising his Dr. Pepper in a mock toast. "Spider-man it is, you heard the lady."

"Spider-man wasn't even part of this," Embry complained, swallowing a full mouth of pop, the boy was already nearly done with his. "Besides, he's Marvel, not DC. Totally different thing."

"There's a difference?" Bella asked innocently, and the three of us groaned in unison once more.

I patted Bella's shoulder. "I have a whole new world to show you, my dear cousin. I've gotta get some more good culture in you before it's too late."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not really interesting in comics, but thanks anyway, Gwen."

"You don't know what you're missing out on!" I told her, and then caught sight of Embry out of the corner of my eyes. "Jesus, man. What did that poor bag of cheese puffs do to you?"

Embry was shoveling handful after handful of cheese puffs into his mouth, and he stopped with a full mouth when I'd caught him, glaring at me as he crumpled the suddenly empty bad in his large hands.

Quil roared with laughter at his friend's face. "He's been eating like that all week, I think he's hit his period."

Embry glared even harder at Quil, but this time it seemed more real, more angry. He swallowed, and stood. "Whatever, man. That's not really that funny."

"Oh, come on, Em," Jacob said, trying to diffuse what now seemed to be some building tension. "Quil was just joking around, we all we're. It's all good."

"No!" Embry snapped, and I blinked in surprise.

Embry had been happy-go-lucky every time we'd hung out with him and Quil, always easy to get along with. He brushed off all of his friends jokes and comments because he'd never took it to heart. He knew they were jokes, that's what friends did. They teased the shit out of each other, mercilessly. But today he seemed extremely irritated, like all the joking was actually getting to him and rubbing him the wrong way.

"I'm sick of you guys arguing with me all the damn time," he seethed, then shook his head, rubbing fierce circles into his temple with his knuckle.

I watched his arms, seeing that they were trembling. I looked at him with concern, biting my lip but knowing I shouldn't intervene. I wasn't that close with him to be able to stick my nose into it any further.

"Hey, chill," Quil said, holding his hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry, Embry. I'll quit, okay?"

Embry shook his head, his long hair falling into his face. He was seeming a little lost, looking ill, almost. "I… I gotta go, I don't feel good."

Suddenly he stormed out of the garage. We heard his truck start up, and soon it was silent. We were all staring at each other in disbelief. Embry had never acted like that around Bella and I before, and I was wondering if maybe there was a side to him we just hadn't seen before.

Jacob was quick to disprove my doubts. "Sorry, guys, he's not normally like that, at all. He's been a little off this week, he's probably coming down with something."

Quil scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Man, he was my ride, too."

"We can take you home if you want," I offered, smiling sympathetically at the younger boy. He seemed troubled by his friend's attitude. "Don't worry about him, if he's really just not feeling well then he should come back around soon. Just let him simmer down and get to feeling better. I know all too well how feeling sick can mess with your emotions."

Quil nodded. "Yeah, that's a good idea."

Jacob sighed, stretching out his arms. "Man, I really don't wanna stay cooped up in here after all that. Ever been to the La Push beach, Gwen?"

I blinked. "You have a beach?"

Jacob barked out a laugh, and even Quil and Bella chuckled at the look on my face. "Okay, okay, now we have to go. Alright, everyone into the buick," he said, swiping the keys from my hands.

"Hey!" I complained. "You can't steal my car and then take me hostage."

Jacob turned, looking at me with a raised eyebrow. "Oh, yeah?"

Suddenly I was slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and I squealed with laughter.

"Jacob Black! You put me down right now, you asshole!" He was handling me as gently as he could, it seemed, and I was thankful for that. If he'd slung me too recklessly he'd have probably forced out all the airflow I'd been working on all day long.

"Nah," he said simply, mocking Quil and I from early. "Your chariot and escort awaits."

He set me down in the back seat, and Bella climbed in next to me from the other side, a smile on her face and laughter in her eyes. Quil was laughing the whole walk outside, letting himself into the car and plopping into the passenger seat.

"Isn't it too cold to go swimming?" I asked, still grumbling about being picked up.

Jacob started driving, not even bothering to put a seatbelt on. "We're not going to swim, doofus. But it's a nice view, plus it is a little warmer today. You can always dip your feet in, if you can stand how cold the water can be sometimes."

We were at the beach in no time, and I was surprised I'd never seen or heard about it before hand. I'm sure Charlie or Bella probably mentioned it at some point in time, but I must've been thinking about something else, because I sure as hell didn't think there would be a beach right on the edge of the reservation.

"Holy moly," I gasped. "This is awesome!"

"It's a wet sand beach with a lot of dead wood," Quil deadpanned. "It's not that awesome. Good spot for bonfires, though."

I was already out of the car, and he complained that I hadn't even been listening to him. I was too concerned with taking the beach. Truly, it was a wet sand beach with lots of washed up logs. The sand was a dark gray and squelched softly as we walked, and the logs washed ashore were either dark brown or black, completely soaked through and rotted. Some were growing a beautiful green moss along their sides. There were several fire pits littered closer to the shore, most looking recently used.

 _They really do love their bonfires… I'll have to see if we can have one of those, soon, too. I love the smell of campfires._

The beach lead down to the shore, where the dark waves lapped at the land in lazy motions. The beach and shoreline was shielded on both sides by two rather impressive cliffs, both covered in dark trees. Looking closely, I could see that there was a path that winded towards the beach and lead up to the top of cliffs.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I said sharply, grabbing Quil's arm as I spotted three people atop the cliffs. "What are they doing?"

Three rather large, shirtless men were standing on the highest spot of the cliffs, laughing and pushing at each other. They were whooping and hollering at one of the guys, seemingly threatening to push him off if he didn't jump, himself.

"Cliff diving," Quil said simply, a frown on his face. "Lots of us do it. People don't normally go that high, though. Sam Uley and his gang just like showing off to everyone."

The three men stopped for a moment, and actually stared at us. Or, at least, faced our direction. There was no way that they actually heard what Quil said, though, as they were much too far away.

Jacob snorted in distaste. "Yeah, and they always do that. They're always staring at us. I don't know what the hell their problem is."

"Looks like they got someone new," Quil mused. "It was just Sam and that kid Jared from school, before. I can't tell who it is with them though."

The boy the other two had been harassing playfully suddenly lurched forward in a quick sprint, and I gasped with awe as he leapt from the peak in a perfect dive. He'd jumped out far enough to safely clear any rocks at the bottom, and his russet toned body pierced the surface of the water like a hot knife through butter.

"Oh great," Jacob groaned, watching as the other two jumped off after the man.

Bella and I raised a brow at each other, and I leaned gently against a piece of driftwood as the strange men swam towards the shore. The one who leapt first came strutting out like a peacock with his feathers fanned, his water-logged shorts sagging against his tone hips. Guy was built like a goddamn monster, his muscles toned and taut.

He wasn't overly built like those gross looking guys you'd see on TV, the ones who looked like they couldn't even move their neck and arms properly because of how big they were. He was a few steps from that, at the perfect level of a sculpted body. I knew some men would _kill_ to look like that.

He was grinning at openly us, like he'd thoroughly enjoyed his show and believed he'd impressed us. That was what turned me off, instantly. Guy had a body to drool over, but he knew it, and was way too proud of it.

"That's Paul Lahote," Quil whispered. "He's always with his own friends. The hell is he doing with Sam?"

The name rang no bells for me, nor for Bella, who looked just as confused as I did when I glanced at her face.

The other two men came trudging out of the sea, both equally as built and toned as Paul, but not trying to show off like he was. They walked passed us, not come too closely. But they looked at us, first at Jacob, and then, for some reason, on me.

The tallest man narrowed his eyes at me, his stare lingering longer than I was comfortable with, stepping a bit closer. For a moment, he looked like he was subtly sniffing the air, but I waved that thought from my head. Surely these guys couldn't be _that_ weird.

He took a couple more steps closer, analyzing me with a fierce look on his face, until Jacob stepped in front of me protectively, seeing the uncomfortable look forming on my face. Quil stood next to him, folding his arm across his chest.

"What do you want, Sam?" Jacob snapped. "We can't enjoy the beach in peace, or what? We breaking any laws?"

Sam stared at Jacob long and hard for a moment, then shook his head. "No, nothing. You're fine to be here," he said, glancing at me one last time before walking after his two friends, who'd stopped to watch their friend's confrontation.

"Not like we'd need your permission anyway," Jacob sneered under his breath, and for moment Sam paused, his fists clenching, but then he continued.

"Do you think he heard that?" Quil mused, once they'd gotten further up the beach.

Jacob shrugged, looking angry. "I don't care. Don't see how he did, but whatever."

I couldn't get the look on Sam's face out of my head. When I'd thought he'd been sniffing the air, when he _glared_ at me, he almost looked like he was smelling something foul. I'd showered that day, there was no way I _stunk_. Not that he was even close enough to remotely smell me, anyway! What a weirdo.

Humming as we got to the shore, I stopped next to log and started pulling off my shoes and socks.

"Gwen?" Bella asked, amused. "What are you doing?"

"We're at a beach, Bella. It may be too cold to swim, but damnit I'm going to put my feet in the water," I told my cousin simply, rolling up my pant legs until they were over my knees.

Bella stuck behind with Jacob and Quil, the three of them talking together and with me as the watched me walk the shore. The first lick over my toes from the water sent a jolt up my spine. It was freezing, still! But I couldn't expect different, it took quite a few warm days for water to start feeling warmer, anyway. One nicer day wouldn't make that water temperature change that much.

"Are you enjoying yourself, you dork?" Bella mused. "You're shivering."

I glared at her. "Don't you rain on my parade, fun sucker," I said childishly, and then leaned down to splash some of the ice-cold water at my cousin.

She shrieked as the water seeped through her clothes, and both boys laughed at the shocked look on her face. She glared at me playfully, and started tugging off her shoes, holding onto Jacob for support. He looked over the moon that her hand was grasping onto his arm, even though she was just using him so that she didn't face plant.

"Wait, wait," I said, putting my hands up in surrender, "Bella, let's talk about this for a moment. You might slip and fall and drown in a puddle if you come closer."

Jacob and Quil roared with laughter, and Bella marched closer, now barefoot herself and her jeans rolled up. She was glaring at me playfully, but jolted like she'd been stung when her feet touched the freezing water. "Jesus, Gwen! It's freezing!"

"You're the one who came out here!" I said, pointing at her.

"Yeah," she agreed. "Because I have to return the favor."

Bella leaned down and splashed water at me, which I was barely able to dodge. "Ooo, missed! Try again!"

The next time she hit me square, water splashing all over the front of my jacket and little droplets hitting my face. I cried at the cold that bit at me through my clothes, and instantly retaliated. Soon, the two of us were splashing at each other like crazy and Jacob and Quil were observing from the safety of the shore, watching us with amused faces.

"Okay, okay, okay!" Bella cried, after getting a big splash to the face. "We're soaked Gwen!"

I huffed with effort, and pulled out my inhaler after Bella called the ceasefire. I breathed in a couple puffs, and managed to stop the clenching in my lungs that'd started when our laughter and splashing had began.

"Shit!" I cursed as it fell out of my shivering hands, into the water. I hadn't had a good enough grasp on it and it'd shaken right out of my hands.

"Oh, crap, Gwen," Bella said, coming closer.

I bent over to fish it out, my back to her. My hands searched through the dark water frantically, even just the foot of water too dark to see through. Finally my fingers found and closed around the inhaler and I pulled it out, looking it over. "I don't know if it's still good," I sighed. "Oh well, if not it's almost time for me to get a new prescription, anyway. I can go to the pharmacy tomorrow."

I turned, and nearly jumped from the stricken look Bella was giving me. I hadn't expected her to look so scared of me, I hadn't done anything. She looked like someone had just died in front of her, her eyes wide and she was trembling. I couldn't tell if it was from the cold, or if something she'd seen had actually scared her.

"Bella?" I asked, tentatively. "You okay?"

"G-Gwen," she whispered, her eyes flickering down to my legs. "Your…. Your leg."

I looked down at my legs, confused. "What? Do I have a leech? I don't think leeches are in the ocean, Bella," I told her, twisting and bending myself around to look at my legs.

She shook her head roughly, stammering. "I… I-"

"Hey, would you two get the hell out of there already?" Jacob yelled. "Charlie is going to murder me if you two get sick."

"Coming!" Bella called back, spinning on her heal and walking away from me quickly.

I blinked a couple times, then slowly followed her out. I don't know what I did to upset her so badly, but apparently it had to have been pretty bad.

Quil let me use him a stabilizer as I put my shoes and socks back on, and then we left. Jacob took Quil home first, after I'd given my permission since it was _my_ car we were using, and then drove us back to his house. Instead of leading us into the garage, he ushered us inside the house. He was trying to joke and talk with us the whole time we rode in the car, but even he had noticed that Bella had suddenly reverted back to her quiet self. She was staring out the window the whole ride, not saying a word except for some simply responses.

"Hey, dad. Bella and Gwen got wet on the beach so I'm going to let them take a hot shower and I'm gonna toss their stuff in the dryer real quick, okay?" Jacob said as he lead us through the front.

Billy waved at us from his recliner in the living room, smiling. "Hello, Gwen, Bella. Long time, no see," he joked, having just saw Bella and I the last time we visited Jacob. "I see you two had fun. Go ahead, Jacob. The dryer's empty."

"Thanks, Billy," I said sincerely, following Jacob further into the house.

"Uh, you can go first," Bella said quietly, stepping away from me as Jacob showed us where the bathroom was. "I'll run your stuff through the dryer while you're in there."

I frowned, concerned. I was trying to figure out what I'd done to upset Bella so much that she was barely talking to me, but I did as she said. When I undressed, I handed her my stuff through the door and hopped into the steaming shower.

A sigh of relief left my lips as the heat began to warm up my chilled body.

We switched once I was warm and my clothes had done about thirty minutes in the drier. Some of them were still a little damp in spots, but it was much better than before. Jacob and I hung out in the kitchen while Bella got warm in the shower, both of us sitting at the kitchen bar with some snacks Billy had made Jacob pull from the fridge.

"What do you think got Bella so upset?" Jacob asked, popping a grape in mouth as his brows drew together in concern. "I didn't do anything, did I?"

"No, no," I consoled, plucking a few grapes off their stems. "I think she just… I think sometimes she still thinks about her ex too much and it gets her down. Maybe that's what happened?"

I didn't want to tell Jacob about our weird encounter in the water. It didn't make any sense to me, so I didn't see why it would make any sense to him, either, if I told him. So, I just came to the closest conclusion that I could think of. It made sense. Even though Bella had been coming around a lot better lately, she still had her moments, even her days, where she needed to just be alone. It was like she could shake the thought of her boyfriend from her head.

Jacob glared at the table, huffing. "Why is she still hung up on him? He left her in the damn woods, for Christ's sake."

I shrugged. "Love does some crazy things to people. You might do the same in her shoes, if you'd also been over the moon about someone and they suddenly left you."

The dryer buzzed in the other room, and I was thankful to get away from Jacob in that moment. I really didn't want to talk about his issues with my cousin's love life, knowing now that he had a pretty huge crush on her. It was unrequited, as Bella seemingly held no extra feelings for him other than friendship and a brotherly type of bond. Hopefully, he'd be able to come to terms with that nicely.

I rapped my knuckle on the bathroom door once I had Bella's clothes in my arm. "Bells? Your stuffs done."

The door cracked, and I could see her brown eyes peering out at me. "Thanks, Gwen," she said softly, grabbing the clothes and shutting the door in my face.

I sighed loudly. Why did I feel like we were suddenly back to square one?

* * *

 **Bella Swan**

* * *

I felt like I was living again, weirdly enough.

The hole in my chest hurt, but it was easy to ignore when I was with Gwen and Jacob. They were good friends to me, I realized, and I wanted to start living again. I wanted to enjoy all the time I was spending with them, especially Gwen since we only had a limited time together left.

Port Angeles had been terrifying, but I'd seen Edward again. None of us had gotten hurt, thankfully, from my stupid mistake. I had tried to reach for Edward, even with knowing that his appearance in front of me was not real, and it had probably been what had enticed those men to chase us.

I felt remorse for it, I did, but I couldn't help myself when I saw him. When I could see him, when my mind was temporarily tricked into the believing we were actually close, the hole in my chest felt more mended then it ever did with Jake and Gwen. But, when the apparition was gone, I was left emptier inside, knowing it wasn't real. I was torn between trying to see him more and trying to stop seeing him all together. My mind, body, and heart were torn to bits from him leaving, from his family leaving. I couldn't choose whether to leave them all in the past or try to move on.

Thankfully, Gwen said a couple had shown up and must've drove the men off. She couldn't describe them well, saying she couldn't remember too much because she'd been so close to blacking out when they'd come, anyway. I was just thankful she didn't get hurt from my stupidity.

Gwen had asked Charlie and I to not tell her family about what happened in Port Angeles, because she knew Janette would come racing once she heard. It took some persuading, but Charlie did finally agree. He didn't want Gwen to have to leave, either, because he was enjoying the time he was getting to reconnect to his niece. In a way, I think he felt he owed to not only to Gwen, but to my aunt, Annie, as well.

It was Monday, after school had let out. Gwen and I had lounged all day, because Charlie had decided I needed to stay home and rest another day after what had happened Saturday night. I wasn't going to protest, because my head was still hurting from time to time where I'd fallen and hit it against a rock.

Gwen's adopted sister had called her in the middle of one of our movie sessions, and she'd retreated to her room to have a more private conversation with her.

I drummed my fingers against the couch, looking at the paused screen for a moment, when my phone suddenly beeped. I looked down, smiling when I saw it was a message from Jake.

 _'U out of school yet?'_

I replied, telling him I'd stayed home with Gwen. His reply came back almost instantly.

 _'U guys coming over? We can work on the bikes some'_

I got up and walked from the living room, to Gwen's bedroom door. I could faintly hear her telling her sister good bye, and I gave it a moment before I knocked on her door. I called out to her, asking if I could come in. When she replied, I stepped inside and asked her if she felt like going to Jacob's. Of course, she felt the need to get out of the house just as much as I did, and we were soon on our way to La Push.

I let her drive us in her Buick, she seemed to really love having the freedom to drive whenever she wanted, now. She also liked playing DJ with the radio. I was actually starting to enjoy the music she and Jacob always listened to. The heavy beats moved through you like a wave, and I felt like they actually soothed some of my inner turmoil. I never thought I'd like music ever again, after he'd left me, so I was thankful for that.

It was like, with my cousin and with Jacob, little pieces of me that I'd thought were lost were slowly coming back to me. Bit by bit they were helping me rebuild the shambled mess I'd let myself become.

We had gotten there just after Quil and Embry had arrived, it seemed. The two were arguing about comic book heroes, something I had absolutely no experience with nor interest in. It was fun to watch them all joke around together though.

Embry had a weird outburst towards the end, seeming to be angry with Quil and Jacob. It was strange, because he always seemed so nice and playful every time Gwen and I were around. He seemed really bothered this time, however, and left in a hurry.

We'd decided to go to the beach to cool off, which I couldn't believe I'd never mentioned to Gwen that the beach was there. She seemed really excited to see it, even after Jacob had gentle hoisted her over his shoulder and hijacked her car from her. It was fun to watch the two joke around, like I had two extremely fun siblings.

We'd accidentally brushed paths with Sam Uley and his odd friends when we'd gotten there. Sam had been the one who had found me in the woods, apparently, so I didn't have any ill feelings towards him at all. But, Jacob sure did. The two seemed to have some sort of tension between them, and Jacob was quick to stand up for Gwen when Sam had been staring at her oddly.

I don't know what his issue had been, but something about him and his friends unsettled me. They were a strange group, all buff beyond belief and seemingly the only men on the reservation who wanted their hair short instead of long. Had to be something in the water, or maybe something worse…

Gwen insisted on walking through the water, and soon had me roped into a splashing match. I'd never thought I'd be laughing and playing with anyone like this ever again, but something about Gwen drew a person in. She was so happy and playful, despite her condition, and she made a person want to laugh and have fun.

It was when she dropped her inhaler that made me feel my soul just about leave my body.

Gwen's back was to me, and she was fishing blindly through dark water for her inhaler, some curses coming out from her breath. I was coming closer, intending on helping her look, when I noticed something on her left calf.

A thick, jagged scar stuck out against her pale skin. It was a very familiar shape, and the same silvery color of the one I had on my arm. In fact, it practically mirrored the bite scar on my arm, the one I'd received when I'd been attacked and bitten by the vampire, James. It was a silvery crescent moon shaped scar, nearly mirrored with that of a human's bite mark.

I felt all my life drain from me. There was no way I was imagining, Gwen had a bite on her. It looked just like mine, it couldn't be anything different. Human's didn't leave thick, silvery scars like that on people. I'd only ever seen scars like that on myself, and on vampires.

My head was spinning, I didn't know what to do, or what to say. I wanted to confront my cousin. I wanted to ask her how she got the scar, what the person looked like. Odds are, she had no idea about vampires and didn't even realize what had almost happened to her when she'd gained that scar. I had no idea how she wasn't dead. Someone had had to have helped her, there's no way she fought off a vampire.

Jacob took us back to his house to warm up, and when it was my turn to use the shower, I spent my time thinking carefully about what I was going to do next.

Maybe, it wasn't a vampire scar? Sure, most of the time scars were pinker or like discolored skin, but surely not only vampire bite scars turned more silvery and pale in color. Maybe I was jumping the gun, and it was just a weird shaped cut she'd gotten somewhere, from some sort of accident. She had pretty translucent and pale skin anyway, maybe that's why it looked the way it did.

 _Not everything revolves around vampires, Bella, you dolt. Besides, if you corner her screaming your head off about vampires, she'd have you committed._

I sighed, leaning my forehead against the tile and letting the water wash down my back. I decided I would ask Gwen how she got her scar. From there, I had no idea how I would proceed. I couldn't tell her about vampires, it wasn't my secret to tell and it could possibly put her at risk. At least then, though, I'd know and I wouldn't be so curious.

"Bells? Your clothes are done," I heard Gwen call faintly, her voice soft.

I knew I'd probably hurt her feelings a little, shutting down the way I did. But I didn't know what else to do, how else to react. It's not every day that you figure out that your very human cousin, who shouldn't know anything about the supernatural, had had a possible run in with a vampire and didn't know it.

I took my clothes from her, thanking her and closing the door. While I dried and started changing, I tried to steel myself. The idea of vampires shouldn't make me so jumpy. I knew they lived, I'd loved a whole family of them, and still did. I guess my heart still lingered in the idea that I would've become one one day, if Edward had really loved me.

Gwen and I drove home in silence. I was driving, because she looked absolutely exhausted from our splash session in the ocean and, without an inhaler at the moment, I didn't want her to work herself up too much in any way. Aside from that, I think she was feeling a bit dejected that I wasn't really talking to her. I felt guilty, I did, and I decided to approach the subject so I could get it out the open and move on from it.

"Gwen… I wanted to ask you something," I said softly, glancing at her for a moment.

She perked up, sitting up straighter. "Yeah, Bells? What's up?"

"At the beach today… I noticed that you… Your leg, I noticed your scar," I stammered, trying to summon the courage to keeping going with this. God, I didn't want to be right about this.

Her eyes widened a little, and she let out a soft, "Oh, right. Yeah, I have that."

I almost chuckled a bit at her spacey reply, but had to stay serious. "I just wanted to ask how you got it?"

She hummed in thought, nodding. "Yeah, okay. I guess I forgot to ever tell you the story, I kinda forget about it sometimes, honestly. I even forget I have the scar most of the time," she said, chuckling. "Okay, story time with Gwen, right?"

"Well, when I fourteen, I was shopping with Janette in this big city a couple hours from our home town. We were at the mall, and Janette was shopping for birthday presents for the twins. It was coming up in a week, and I'd told her I'd wanted to go with her so that I could spend some of the money I'd saved up from chores on their presents.

"Janette got caught up looking at one of those fancy boutiques, the really expensive ones. I'd already exhausted all my funds buying the twins presents, so I was already ready to go home. I told her I was going to walk back to the car so that I could go play my Gameboy while waiting for her to finish up.

"She gave me the keys, reminded me to lock the car until she got back, and I left the store and started walking towards where I thought we'd parked," she said, her brows furrowing slightly. "But I wasn't used to big cities at all, and I'd lost my bearings pretty quickly. I tried to retrace my steps back to the boutique and just managed to make myself more lost."

"I ended up in this alley, and it had already gotten completely dark out. I was crying, I'd never gotten lost before, and I was definitely afraid of the city. Some guy came up to me out of nowhere, a really creepy kind of guy. I can barely remember him, but something about him just made alarms go off in my head. I tried to brush him off, but he grabbed me," she nearly whispered the last part, and her face fell into a frown.

She let out a heaving sigh, like the story almost took a toll on her. "I tried to fight him, but he was a strong guy. His grip slipped for barely a second and I was pulling away so hard that when he let go, I lost my balance and fell right to the ground. Weirdo was down next to me in a second, lifting my left leg into his grasp. He was saying a lot of weird stuff."

My heart was absolutely pounding in my chest. Everything about this so far was sending off all the bells and alarms in my head. I could tell exactly where this story was going, I just needed to know how it ended. I didn't even realized I was holding my breath while she was talking, until my chest started to ache in protest. I was trying to watch her face and look at the road at the same time, slowing down so that I wasn't driving too fast with my divided attention.

"I was wearing capris that day," she mused. "Just enough of my calf was showing for the damn psychopath to sink his teeth right into my leg. Who the hell does that, right? Just bites people, especially young girls. Maybe he had some weird leg fetish, I don't know."

"What happened next?" I demanded, my whole body feeling cold with dread, and my hands were clenching the steering wheel so tightly that my knuckles were turning white.

She frowned. "I don't know for sure. I was blacking out, I was scared out of my mind. First time I'd ever really felt fear before what'd happened in Port Angeles. I remember hearing someone start yelling at the guy, and the next thing I know he was pulled off me. I fainted, and I woke up in the hospital with Janette."

My stomach was like an angry snake, coiling and writhing inside my skin. My cousin had been attacked by a vampire, and most likely saved by another vampire. What the hell were the odds of that? She had no idea how close to death she'd probably been in at that moment.

I was staring at her, not knowing what to say next, when she shouted suddenly, pointing out the windshield in panic. "Bella, stop!"

Turning, I saw a large, dark shape dart out into the road and gasped, slamming on the breaks of the Buick. The tires squealed loudly in protest, and I held my breath as we hydroplaned. The Buick slid on the wet road, doing almost a full one-eighty turn. The large dark shape in the road darted out of the way just as the car swerved through.

"Jesus," Gwen cursed as we finally came to a stop, thankfully still on the road and not in the ditch. "What the hell was that?"

"Bear," I breathed, heart in my throat. "That was huge, it had to be a bear."

Gwen placed a palm on her forehead, looking even more faint and tired than before. "Okay, I know I'm the thrill seeker here, but that's enough near-life ending situations for at least the next two weeks."

I nodded. "Agreed."

We both jumped when we heard the loud howls of wolf's pierce through the air. This time, instead of the different calls we'd heard at Jacob's the first time we'd visited, this time it sounded like there were four. The fourth one, however, sounded almost sad, agonized by something.

"God, I hope the bear didn't get to the wolves," Gwen said softly, rubbing her arms. "Let's go home, Bella. I've got the creeps."

I nodded, my mind racing. I needed time to think all of this through, process it all. I wanted nothing more than to just get home and lay down. Not that sleeping really helped, with all the nightmares that I kept having, but I wanted to give my body and mind some rest after the craziness of the last few days.

Gwen instantly retired to her room once we'd gotten home, barely giving Charlie a proper hello before she'd shut herself up in her room. This was unusual for her, normally I was the one who tried to close everyone out, but after the past couples of days and probably all the fear she'd realized telling me her story, she had to feel exhausted. I decided to give her space, because I knew that's what I would want if I were in her shoes.

I started working on dinner, needing to distract myself from all the chaos inside my head. Things were just getting stranger and stranger as the year went on, I realized. Not only had I discovered the supernatural, but it was literally all around me and right underneath my nose. I wondered just how many "mythical" things I'd run into in my life before I had actually realized that the unreal could be very, very real.

A couple hours later, after we'd finished dinner and I'd retreated to my room to try and relax. I was trying to read a book, something I hadn't done in a while, and I actually found it calming me, even though the pain in my chest was feeling more and more prominent the more time I spent alone.

Suddenly, my phone buzzed.

I glanced over, and saw Gwen's name flashing across the screen. Raising a brow, I dog-eared my page and leaned over to my bedside table, grabbing the cellphone. I unlocked it and opened the message, smirking as I read it.

' _I know what I want to do next, while we work on the bikes.'_

Oh, jeeze. What was she going to get us into, now? If I remembered correctly, we'd agreed we both needed a break from all the excitement going on lately.

I replied quickly, feeling silly to be texting her even though she was just downstairs. But I knew it would be too hard for her to make it up the stairs today, and I was too comfy to move.

My eyebrows nearly shot to my hairline as her next text came in. I read it twice just make sure I was seeing it right, and lo and behold, I was reading it perfectly fine and was slowly coming to conclusion that my cousin wasn't just trying to live an exciting life, she was trying to find every single thing on the Earth that would drive Charlie and her parents up the wall if they found out.

' _My dear cousin, what are your views on tattoos?'_

* * *

 **There it is! Thank you to all who read, review, favorite, and follow the story! I appreciate all the feedback and hope to hear more from you all!** _  
_


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello, everyone! Here is chapter seven. It's a bit of a basic chapter, but we get to see some more of Jasper and that's always exciting!**

 **BTW: I forgot to mention that I do have this story crossposted onto Wattpad, if any of you do any reading on there.**

* * *

Chapter 7

* * *

 _"Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."_

 _\- Pablo Picasso_

* * *

I was bouncing in my seat as Bella drove us to La Push, a huge grin on my face.

Bella was watching me, wearily, from the corners of her eyes as she navigated her truck down the road. She smiled, though, and turned away from me as we passed the welcoming sign for the La Push reservation.

I had a piece of sketch paper clutched in my hand. Normally, it was tucked away in my memory book. I'd taken it out for this perfect occasion, rubbing the edge of the rough paper between my fingers. I lifted it look it over once more, as I'd done thousands of times in the last couple years since I'd gotten the piece from my younger sister, Sierra.

Like I said, the girl was a beautiful artist, both with makeup and her drawings. She'd always wanted to be a tattoo artist, and while I promised her that I would be the first person she inked once she was able, I knew that I mostly likely wouldn't make it that long. It would be another ten years, tops, before she'd be able to actually tattoo people. I'm lucky if I had one.

So, I'd gotten an idea. While it wouldn't be her hand doing the tattooing, it would be her piece that would forever be etched onto me. And I couldn't be more excited. I'd always wanted a tattoo but I'd always had a hard time deciding what I wanted. When I was younger I swore I'd save my skin for a tattoo dedicated to my children and other important things. As I'd gotten older, I'd become more liberal with my views on them and understood that people loved getting them for the sake of putting art on their bodies.

I picked at the frayed corner of the page, and hoped that the artist would be able to get the picture right.

We pulled into Jacob's drive first thing, the boy coming out of the garage as he heard the roar of Bella's truck. He had a shit-eating grin plastered across his face, and he started walking towards the truck as he wiped the grease from his hands with an orange rag.

Bella shifted into park and I scooted over so that I was sitting in the middle of the cab, after I'd swung the door open for our friend. Jacob stuffed his oil rag into the back pocket of his pants and swung himself up and into the cab with ease. He smelled purely of motor oil, which wasn't a surprise considering he had it all over his shirt and jeans.

"Where is your coat?" I berated, huffing as I had to scoot even further over towards Bella to compensate the boy. "And why do I get the feeling you're getting even buffer?"

He rolled his eyes. "It's not even that cold outside. And you're just noticing my extremely nice muscles now? I'm offended, Gweny."

I stuck my tongue out in return. "Stop calling me that! And tell us where we need to go!"

Jacob instructed Bella how to get to the tattoo parlor in La Push, the only local one for miles. It got a lot of business, both from Forks residents and La Push tribe members. According to Jacob, even people from Port Angeles and sometimes from Seattle would come down to get tattooed at the parlor, just because they had that good of a reputation.

It was a small, hidden away place just across the street from La Push's small general goods store.

Bella parked in the lot for the grocery store and the three of us walked across the street together.

"Harley's Ink Gallery?" I read the front sign aloud, the sign depicting a tattoo gun with a whole galaxy spewing out from the tip, with the name written in the stars.

"Harley's pretty cool," Jacob says as we got to the front door, "He's friends with my dad but he doesn't really come around to any events, definitely doesn't tattoo anymore. Too old, and he was really sick there for a while. His sons run the shop now. Don't worry, they won't tell my dad or Charlie about this stuff."

We entered and a small bell chimed once the door opened. Inside the floors were a dark hardwood, and the walls painted a deep burgundy. All along the walls were pictures of finished ink pieces, piercings, and mockups for potential tattoo's. There was a counter set up with two large computer monitors, along with a cash register.

Right at the entrance there were two leather couches, facing each other with a coffee table planted in the middle. Beyond all that there was a short, wooden half-wall fencing in a section of the room, and that seemed to be where all the work was done. There were three leather massage chairs, the ones you could adjust to just about any laying or sitting position.

Right at the back a man with long, black hair tied into a pony tail sat on a leather stool, hunched over the muscly arm of a tan, muscular boy laying lax on the leather chair. A familiar group of men were standing on the other side of the wood wall next to them, watching as the guy worked on their friend.

"Be with you in a moment!" the guy yelled to us, over the sound of steady buzzing coming from the gun in his hand.

We sat down on the cracked leather couch, and Bella and I glanced over some of the binders that sat atop them. There were two, each a portfolio for each of the brothers that apparently owned the shop, filled to the brim with pictures of fresh tattoos and piercings. It wasn't hard to be impressed with them both; they had pieces ranging from portraits copied from real photographs to watercolor and minimalist tattoos. These boys definitely knew their stuff.

Jacob, I noticed, was looking a little sick, glancing back at the group of guys in the back anxiously from time to time. I knew it had to be Sam Uley and his friends standing there at the back, considering how big the guys had been and how Jacob was acting. But I couldn't understand why he looked so concerned.

"Did you bring what you wanted to get?" I asked Bella, and she nodded softly, pulling out a piece of paper out of her rain coat pocket. "You know you can still back out. I don't want you to do anything that you don't wanna do, Bells. I just appreciate that you came here for me."

Bella stared at the picture, then shook her head. "No, I want to do this. I think I need a little change."

Jacob's gaze snapped from the back of the shop, to Bella, looking just a little hopeful.

All of a sudden, someone came from behind the couch and swung their arm around Jacob's neck, trapping him in a headlock. He nearly gagged at the force, and Bella and I instantly stood to get out of the way as he swung around to try and get the person off. The guy was laughing hysterically and giving Jacob noogies.

The guy let go, swiftly ducking as Jacob swung a punch. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, Black, it's just me!"

Jacob stood, swinging around. "Cam, damn it! What's your problem?"

The guy stopped laughing, but there was a playful grin on his face. He shrugged. "I haven't seen you in a while, you just happened to give me a good opportunity to mess with you, kid."

Jacob looked like he wanted to keep yelling at the guy, but let out a few hard breaths and calmed himself. I couldn't help but notice that he was clenching and unclenching his fist, still, as the two started to talk.

"How's Harley doing?" Jacob asked.

Cam folded his slim arms over his chest, giving another casual shrug. "Same ol', same ol'. He beat the cancer, did Billy tell ya that?"

Jacob nodded. "Yeah, that's good. Glad he's doing alright, then."

Cam raised a brow at him. "I hope you're not here to try and get me to give you a tattoo, again. I know how old you are kid, and I don't care how wheelchair bound Billy is, he can still find a way to whoop both our asses. Last time I distinctly remember chasing you and your friends out with a shop broom."

I looked at Jacob with a raised brow, and he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. "Nah, I'm with my friends. They want the tattoos."

Cam finally looked at Bella and I, and grinned widely, showing off rows of pearly white teeth. He was a fairly attractive older man, and I wouldn't have pegged him any older than twenty-five. He was lean, with a very lanky build and nice russet skin. He wasn't built to the same capacity as Sam and his gang, but his lithe build gave him a very model-esque appearance. He was also covered in tattoos, from the inked sleeves on both his arms to the pictures poking out of his shirt collar and tangling around his neck.

"Well, you came on the perfect day, ladies! We're not booked at all today, for once. Gavin's just finishing up a walk-in back there and then we can get you both underway. I can get you filing the paperwork, first, though. Got your ID's?" he said, holding out his hands for them as we dug through our wallets.

Cam exchanged our IDs for two clip boards, each with a couple pieces of paper clamped to them. "Go over those and initial where it tells you, and sign. The last couple pages are on proper tattoo care, so those are yours to keep once we're done."

He gave us back our ID's, and we were both filing out the paperwork when Cam's brother had just finished his tattoo in the back. Sam and his group were walking up to the front to pay, and I couldn't help but glance up at them.

Sam was watching me again, with that same rude ass stare on his face as before. He nudged one of his friends, who also turned to look at me, then turned away, tugging Sam's arm a bit as if asking him to look away. Sam didn't stop staring, so I finally flipped him the bird, grinning when he finally turned.

 _See how you like that, asshat!_

Bella nearly choked when she saw me lift my finger and she quickly batted my hand down. "Gwen!"

"He started it," I muttered darkly, my eyes drifting to Jacob.

He wasn't laughing, which was what had made me turn to look at him. I'd figured the moment definitely would've at least gotten a chuckle out of the boy. But, instead, he was staring at the fourth figure getting up from the tattooing chair and throw his shirt on, a glare on his face as he watched the guy.

I followed his gaze, and my eyes widened in disbelief. Embry was straightening his shirt out, looking extremely uncomfortable with it on, and also looking pretty depressed. On his arm was a fresh tribal tattoo, which I assumed had some meaning to the La Push people. Now that I saw it, and noticed who exactly he was with, it dawned on me that the other three had the same tattoos on their arms.

Embry followed Paul up to the front, who was talking with the other shop owner, Gavin. He looked a million miles away, and a million times bigger than the last time I'd seen him. Sure, I'd thought he was growing, but this was ridiculous. The boy was built like a damn brick house now, sculpted and tall just like the other three boys. Something about this felt so wrong.

Embry saw us and he went pale, instantly turned to look away.

"You coward," Jacob snapped under his breath, but Embry clearly heard him and looked down at his feet.

I looked between the two, confused. What in the world was happening? Last I'd saw Embry had been a week ago, when he'd gotten angry in the garage and left in a huff. Now, it seemed, he was hanging out with Sam's gang and there was now a dark tension between him and Jacob. To the point that Embry wasn't even acknowledging his childhood friend.

"This one's on the house, per usual," Gavin told the group, bidding them farewell.

For a second, while leaving, Embry's gaze caught mine. I tilted my head in question, frowning at the boy. He gave his head the most minimal of shakes, and that was the last I saw of him as he followed his news friends out of the parlor.

Gavin clapped his hands together, and turned towards Bella and I with a grin on his face that basically mirror Cam's. It was then it clicked for me that the men were twins, nearly identical accept for the different pictures and colors littered across their skin. Gavin, also, had a small bar pierced through his left eye brow.

"Alright! Let's see what you got!" He said, rubbing his hands together eagerly.

Bella handing her picture to Gavin, while I had already given mine to Cam a few moments before.

I looked to Cam, who's eyes were gliding over the slightly aged paper very carefully. "Did you draw this?" he asked, not even looking up from the paper.

"No, it was my younger sister. She's fifteen," I told him. "She does want to be a tattoo artist, though."

"Well, she's a fucking natural, this looks like something Gav or I would've drawn up ourselves," he said softly, and held the picture up to the light. "I can definitely do this. It may take a second session to get it done, but this I can definitely do."

I grinned. I couldn't wait to tell my sister that a popular tattoo artist had loved her work. I'd tell her that after I sent her picture of the finished piece.

Gavin leaned over to look at the paper, and whistled lowly. "Hell ya, give that girl some props. She's got talent. We'd hire her."

I chuckled. "Maybe once she's graduated. And if she moves all the way from Montana."

Soon, the twins had Bella and I in the two chairs closer to the front. Jacob was leaning over the edge of the wall, watching with a hint of jealousy in his eyes as we got prepped for our tattoos. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head when Bella told Gavin she wanted hers on the lower part of her side, on the thicker part of her hip, and he quickly spun around even though she was only shimmying her jeans and lifting the back of her shirt up enough to show her hip.

Cam, however, was scratching his head as he looked at stencil and then at me. "You're sure you're not on any type of blood thinners? I'm not calling you a liar, girl, but your skin looks paper thin and I don't want to do too much damage on you."

I smiled at his concern. "Actually, I'm the opposite. I have really poor circulation." As if to accentuate my point, my left foot start going to sleep on me and I started to shake it a little.

He nodded. "Alright, let's get you ready. And none of that foot wagging while I've got the gun on you. I'm thinking I'll be able to get the outline done and some of the shading today, and then finish it in a second session."

I stopped shaking my foot and watched as he pulled out a small fold-able screen on wheels. He made it face the window of the shop, then looked at Jacob sternly. "Turn around again, kid. Give the lady some privacy," he said, also turning away.

Sheepishly, I started to pull my shirt over my head and then reached around to undo my bra. Once I had my clothes in a heap on the floor and I was lying flat against the leather chair, Cam finally turned around. He kept the screen up, just in case. And then started to prepare his tattoo gun and prepare my right shoulder and back for the tattoo.

"You can turn around now, Jake," I said, laughing at my friend. "It's just my back."

Jacob turned slowly, and then his eyes widened and he swung back around. "Nope, nope, I'm going to go sit in the front. It's like I'm nearly seeing my sister naked and I just can't deal with that trauma."

I raised a brow as he walked away, and then realized that he was probably freaking out because he could see the sides of my breasts. While I'd become stick thin over the years, my breast size hadn't decreased much along with the rest of me, so there was still enough to squish out from me laying right against the table.

Cam barked out a laugh, shaking his head at the retreating boy, and then quickly got to work. I could see Bella and Gavin perfectly from my position, and I watched as a small rose began to blossom against her hip. Watching the man work was almost hypnotic, seeing plain, alabaster skin suddenly alive with beautiful color. It was so interesting to watch, I barely noticed when Cam's tattoo gun had started to jet into the skin of my back. It was a dull, annoying pain, I noticed, not as agonizing as I'd expected.

This went on for a few hours. We took a break when Gavin finished Bella's, a beautiful, fully-bloomed red rose against the side of her hip, slightly towards the beginning curve of her butt. It had vibrant green leaves and looked like it was glistening from dew or a mist of rain. Gavin had truly made it come to life, to the point where the picture she'd brought in to show him didn't do the tattoo, itself, any justice.*

"It's gorgeous, Bells," I told her, as she looked over her shoulder in a standing mirror to check out the finished project.

She smiled. "Yeah, I really like it… It looks so natural. I feel… I don't know, I don't know how I feel."

I grinned, placing my chin into my hand. "You feel _sexy_! Admit it, you feel all empowered now 'cause you got a sexy butt tattoo."

Bella turned to glare at me playfully. "It isn't on my butt! It's on my hip, you goof."

"I'm going to make a song for you, Bella, about your sexy butt tattoo," I told her, grinning widely as I riled her up. "About how everyone will swoon for you when they hear about your sexy butt tattoo."

Cam came back into the tattooing area, chuckling as he listened to me taunting my cousin. She blushed, gently pulling her jeans back up over the tattoo and quickly walking out to go sit with Jacob in the waiting area.

I rolled my eyes. Of course, my cousin would feel shy around a tattoo artist, someone who'd probably been close to more private parts then he could count. I hissed as he started up again where he'd left off.

"Sorry," he hummed, nearly in sync with the gun. "So, what's the story?"

"Hm?" I mumbled with confusion, my eyebrows pinching as I tried not to flinch away from the painful digging near my arm pit.

"You got some scars on your sides, and on your shoulders. I'm an artist, I notice this shit," he said, running some ink off of the needle of the gun after he'd taken a moment to dip it back into the black color. "If you don't want to tell me, that's fine. I just feel like you're a person with a story to tell."

I smiled leaning my face against the leather of the chair. "I guess. It's not hard to tell that I'm sick, I'm sure you've figured that one out. Sometimes my illness makes me scratch, so I've got marks just about everywhere from the times I really did a number on myself. Otherwise, it's not much to tell about. I don't self-harm purposefully, if that's what you were wondering."

"No, I didn't think so," he said, and chuckled when I sighed with relief when he move away from near my arm pit. "So what do you have? Is it like a cancer, oorrr?"

"That's what they thought, initially. I have no tumors, though. They just noticed that some of my organs are starting to die off, slowly. I can eat a mountain of food and end up smaller then next day. It's like I'm not taking any nutrients from anything. They can't figure it out, so we made them quit the tests and decided to accept fate," I told him.

He was silent for a moment, and then the needle stopped. "Okay, girl, we've put in four hours in today and I bet you're stiff as hell. So, let's pick this back up next weekend, okay? You can pay for yours then, since we've only got it half done."

I nodded, and he looked away so that I could get up, stretch tenderly, and then redress. He started cleaning his station, putting the folding screen back into the corner he'd pulled it out of. I started to walk to the front, where Jacob and Bella were waiting with Gavin, who was sitting behind the desk with computers and was leaned back playing air guitar to a Gun's N Roses song.

"Alright, so, for the rose on the hip, we're going to say…" Gavin paused, sucking air in through his teeth. "Eh, for such good clients we'll say one-fifty."

Bella started rummaging through her wallet, and Jacob nabbed it out of her hand. "Jake! What the hell, give it back."

Jacob grinned, winking at me as he held it just out of Bella's reach. "Can't, I'm on strict orders to confiscate this at the moment of payment. If I don't I'll face the wrath of Gwendolyn the Terrible, and I think I'm a little more scared of her than I am of you, Bells."

Bella swung around just in time to see me hand Gavin the money I'd pulled out of my wallet, the man chuckling at our antics.

"Gwen!" Bella protested. "I have my own money!"

"I know," I chirped, grinning at the annoyed look on her face. "Look, this was my idea. And what if you don't like it down the line when you're old and wrinkly? Then you can blame me for cleverly coercing you and paying for it so that you had no choice but to say yes."

She shook her head. "You are so ridiculous. I'm paying you back."

"You can try!" I sang to her, the twins chuckling as they bid us farewell. "Thanks, guys! See you on Saturday, Cam!"

* * *

 **Jasper Whitlock**

* * *

I was sprinting through the forests, following the trail of some wildcats I was hunting down. It would be too easy to just race to the nearest animal and kill it. It wasn't what our kind were made for. We were born to hunt, to chase our pray and stalk it down. Since out natural prey was humans, hunting animals was a bit different. We drew humans in with our beautiful, while most animals could tell instinctually that we were creatures to be feared.

Coming to a screaming halt, I closed my eyes. I was at the base of a steep cliff, standing just below its overhang. I could hear the soft padding of paws above me, and the calm heartbeat of the wild cat. It was above me, having found a way to climb up the cliff some ways further off, judging by the direction the smell went.

I wasn't about to take the easy way and climb the same way as the mountain lion, and instead threw myself at the cliff. I began to climb silently.

My nails scratched and dug into the rock easily, and I was climbing higher and higher. I could feel the wind whipping through my hair as I broke over the tree lines, and I relished in the feeling only momentarily.

Hot coals burned in my throat every time I swallowed. I'd waited much too long to hunt this time. I was ready to rip into that mountain lion and satiate the burn. It wasn't just a want, it was a need. No vampire could truly live with the burn without going mad. I'd seen that happen plenty of times back in the older days of my vampiric youth.

My hand grabbed the edge of the cliff, and soon I was crawling up and over the edge. I saw her, the lion's back to me as she stalked her own pray. She was sniffing the ground and crouched lowly, an oblivious elk sniffing loudly at the ground only a few feet away from her.

I watched the two carefully, slinking closer and closer.

The cat lunged for her prey, and so did I. My arms grappled around it right in midair, and the animal let out an ungodly scream as it writhed in my grasp. It always sent a thrill through me when they fought back. I knew it was a sick feeling to enjoy, but pushing back vampire nature was a hard thing to do. We were always predators first and foremost, especially when we hunted. The human facade stopped the second our hunt began.

The elk that the lion had been hunting brayed loudly, startled by the sudden commotion and seeing the danger before it, and instantly began to run away in fear. The dull sound of hooves hitting the earth faded into the background as I wrestled with my soon to be meal.

The cat stopped struggled the second I'd managed to twist its neck, it's breath and life fading away slowly, and I felt it go limp in my arms as I brought my mouth to its neck. I always hated that sound. It was a horrible feeling, killing such beautiful wildlife, but I would prefer it over doing it to a human a hundred times over. Maybe, I had too big of a conscious for a vampire, but feeling your meals emotions as you ate was nearly sickening. Yes, I definitely preferred eating animals over humans, even if the taste was lackluster in comparison.

When I dropped it, the dead animals glassy eyes seemed to stare at me. They were a golden brown, not nearly as bright as ours after we hunted, but still very beautiful in their own way. For a moment, they penetrated me motionless, and I stood atop the mountain with the wind whipping all around me, staring at the dead cat.

 _Something feels wrong._

That was when that weird pain came back, but this time it was more fierce wild than any of the other times it'd been before.

 _Jesus Christ!_

I doubled over, groaning as fire blossomed in my chest. It felt like someone had punched right through where my heart should be. This shouldn't be possible. Vampires can't have heart attacks or heart spasms, but that's exactly how it felt. I felt like fire was literally crawling through my arms and legs, almost like I was going through the change all over again.

Stumbling backwards, I cursed as the cliff crumbled beneath my foot. I'd stepped too heavily when I staggered back and the weak dirt and rock had given way.

I fell backwards along with the crumbling cliff peak, suddenly in thousand-foot free fall. I couldn't even try to stop it, the pain in my chest burning through my veins. I was clutching at my chest even as I started crashing through the trees, breaking each branch with my body on the way down. All I could do was brace myself and wait for the impact, as I tried not to scratch fiercely at the skin over my heart.

Finally, I hit the forest floor with a loud boom, a small crater formed around me from the impact. The noise had sent several flocks of birds flying off in a frenzy, chirping and cawing and they fled the crash site.

Carlisle and Esme were soon next to me, concerned. They'd been hunting in sections of the woods near me, but not extremely close by. They knew all too well that I got really protective of my food when I was hunting.

"Son, are you alright?" Carlisle asked. "We saw you fall, what happened?"

The pain was slowly fading away, and I was left touching my heart where it had begun. I could also feel a faint burning in my left calf, which had also slowly started to ebb away from me.

"Something's wrong," I muttered, pulling myself up and brushing some of the dust and debris off my ruined clothes. It was silly to try and clean them, since the fall had literally torn them to shreds.

They ran back to the house with me, Carlisle bound determined to assess me over after I told him of the pain I'd been experiencing at odd intervals.

I, however, wanted to talk to Alice. I wanted answers. After hearing her skirt around every question I'd thrown at her and feeling this pain, I was done with waiting for an answer. This obviously had to have something to do with what Alice had seen before we'd split as a couple, as the chest pain had only started doing so after that. I was tired of being held in the dark from something I felt had to be very important.

When I got there, however, she was gone. Rosalie and Emmett, however, seemed to be back from there trip and were sitting in the living room, waiting for us. I knew Edward had to be up in his room, just sitting there and moping.

"Have you two seen Alice?" I demanded, storming inside.

Rosalie raised a brow. "Hello to you, too, brother. You look like hell. What, did the food beat you this time?"

Emmett laughed, but sobered up when I glared at them both. "No, she isn't here. She left a note in the kitchen, though. Something about needing some time from the house and that she wasn't going to answer any of your questions."

"What," I growled, stomping into the kitchen.

Sure enough, a note was taped to the refrigerator with Alice's pristine handwriting scrawled onto it.

 _Dear family,_

 _Don't worry, I'm not going to be gone for long!_

 _I just need to take a break off on my own for a bit. I love you all and will keep in contact. I'll be back with you all before you know it, trust me! I'll let you guys know if something important is going to happen. Don't worry, things will start to look up for us all really soon._

 _Love, Alice_

I blinked, seeing nothing related to me, until I finally turned the notepaper over in my hand.

 _Dear Jasper,_

 _I know you're mad at me right now. I can't really explain the pains you're having, I don't have a direct answer. I have an idea, but I can't divulge it yet. I know you are thinking of hunting me down now that you've read this note, and I'm asking to please, please, please, don't._

 _Everything will come to light very soon. Sooner than I anticipated._

 _I need you to be patient with me, and with all the stuff happening to you right now. And, please try not to be too mad with me once it all happens and you figure out what's been going on behind the scenes. I promise I'm only doing this because I'm trying to keep you both alive and well._

 _Love, Alice_

Both? I raised an eyebrow. Who they hell else was she even talking about?

I sighed, rubbing my temples. Of course, she'd been right about me wanting to go hunt her down. I struggled with deciding whether I should go against her note or not, and finally gave a heaving sigh. Alice had never lead the family astray, not once. She'd never let me down any of the other time she'd felt she'd had to keep me in the dark about something. She certainly wouldn't start now.

Rubbing my chest, I retreated to my room without another word to the rest of the family.

 _Sooner than she anticipated? Well I sure as hell hope so, I don't need to be falling off anymore cliffs._

* * *

 **Gwen Swan**

* * *

I stood in the bathroom, sighing as I shed my clothes. It had been a couple days since I got my tattoo fully finished, and I couldn't get enough of it. Sierra couldn't have been more over the moon about how I'd gotten her picture on me, and that she'd been complimented by two extremely talented tattooists. I was proud to wear her art on me.

Looking over my shoulder, into the full-length mirror behind me, I smiled. The scene painted across my left shoulder was of a collection of roses entwined with a pocket watch and some elegant curls, a sheet of music paper faded delicately into the background of the scene. The roses were all brilliant shades of red except for one on the right side, which looked like it was made from music sheet paper.**

Cam had done an amazing job copying the piece from my sister's sketch. I was absolutely in love with it. For a moment, seeing the beautiful art work on my skin, I felt pretty. It was an odd feeling, even though I could see my shoulder blades and ribs poking out through my thin body and my arms, I felt beautiful with that piece on me.

Stepping into the shower, I let out a long, heaving sigh of all the weight this week had placed on me.

This week had been a bit weird. After I'd went and got my tattoo finished, we'd ended up leaving La Push in a bit of a hurry. Jacob had been really testy when we'd come to pick him up, and had kept the attitude the whole time we were in the parlor the second time. He even snapped at Gavin, who'd only been teasing joking with him. To be fair, he had been joking about Jacob and Bella in a _together_ sort of teasing, but he hadn't meant it meanly.

After Cam had finished me up and we'd paid, we'd had another small run in with the steroid gang, and that seemed to make Jacob even more furious. Embry, who still looked a little sad like he had the day he'd gotten his tattoo, looked like he was enjoying himself with the other men, laughing with them as they sat together at an outside table of a small diner, and that had seemed to be what had made Jacob even more angry than he already was.

He told Bella the next day over text message that he needed some space, just that he needed to sort out his anger and that he wasn't feeling very good. He'd said he'd text us when we would be able to finally start coming over again, but the text never came.

I could tell it was affecting Bella to have Jacob shutting her out, so much so that she was actually starting to retreat into her room again. I'd managed to snag her a couple times to get her to watch movies with me or hang out in my room to talk, otherwise she was staying up in her room, clearly depressed. I think she was comparing it to the abandonment she'd felt from her ex, and that was what was driving her to act so dramatically about it.

I couldn't try to corner her too much, as I was finding myself in worse health as the week went on. I was becoming sensitive to loud noises, and my vision was fading in and out at random intervals. To top it all off, I'd had three panic attacks all in which I'd lost my breath completely during that week.

Things were coming to a dim turn, and I felt sad that I couldn't reach out more to my cousin. I didn't have the strength to even make it halfway up the stairs to try and hang out with her in her room. Charlie'd all but forbidden me from using them without help when he came home to me sitting down on a step halfway up, face nearly blue and gasping for air.

 _Maybe my time is coming to a close._

I finished up my shower, shaking my head at the thought. No, I had time left. I had to have more time left, because there was still so much that I wanted to see and do.

* * *

It was the afternoon of the Friday after Jacob had told us to give him space, that Bella stormed into my room. "Gwen, we are going to La Push."

"We are?" I asked wearily, looking up from my 3DS. "Jacob never texted me though… Did he text you?"

She shook her head. "No, but something doesn't feel right. I feel like he would've told us more or tried to talk to us by now. I want to go over there and see what his problem is. He has no right leaving us to hang high and dry like this."

I sort of agreed with her. Though I believed Jacob had his right to his privacy, it hurt that he'd suddenly turned us away. I'd never been close enough to have a friendship like I had with Jacob, and it bothered me that he suddenly didn't want us around, seemingly out of the blue. I missed hanging out with him and Bella in his garage, ragging on each other with lame jokes and working on the motorcycles together.

Soon we were in my car, Bella at the wheel. I was too weak to drive that day, I felt too light headed and I was afraid that if my noise sensitivity flared up at the wrong moment, we'd end up in a ditch somewhere.

We pulled into the driveway of Jacob's house, and it felt eerily still. There was no way he didn't know we were here, even my little Buick made enough noise to be noticed. Bella got out and helped me out from the passenger side.

The garage was empty and dark when we peaked inside, so Bella marched us up to the front door.

To my surprise, it was Billy Black who opened the door. "Bella, Gwen. How are you two doing?"

"We're okay, Billy," Bella said, not trying to seem pushy or rude. "Is Jake home? We'd like to talk to him, if we could."

Billy shook his head, an odd, knowing look in his eyes. "I'm afraid not. He isn't home at the moment, he's out with some friends."

Bella and I shared a look. Friends? Last I checked, we were his only other friends aside from Quil, ever since Embry stopped talking to us all. Unless Jacob had gotten close with some of his other school mates, which didn't seem too likely.

"Well, you girls have a nice afternoon, alright?" Billy said suddenly, and quite literally shut the door in our stunned faces.

Bella turned to face me, a frown on her lips. "He's lying, he has to be. Jacob wouldn't have just traded us in for other people. We were close."

I shrugged, sighing softly as Bella helped me down the porch steps and back to the car. "There isn't much we can do about it, Bella."

"Don't you care that he's left us?" she accused, giving me a soft glare as she buckled her belt.

"Of course, I do," I snapped, glaring back at her finally. I was tired of her acting like she was the only one hurting over this. "He was my friend, too. It sucks, it hurts, but I can't dwell on it. I don't have _time_ to dwell on it. I have you, I have Charlie, and I still have my family in Montana. If Jacob felt we weren't important enough for him to stick around, then fine. Let him go, do whatever it is he's doing. I still have what is most important to me."

Bella squeezed the wheel in her hands. "But it feels wrong to you, too, doesn't it?"

I bit my lip a little, but nodded. "Yeah, something doesn't feel right… Jacob didn't seem to be the type to take friendship lightly. Like how he reacted when he saw Embry with Sam and that bunch…"

Bella said nothing as we drove back from our failed mission, not even flinching as we once again hear the howling of wolves somewhere in the distance once we reentered Forks.

"It sounds like there's more of them every time we hear them," I mused, staring out the rain spotted window to look deep into the woods.

* * *

 **Well, this is chapter seven! I hope you all enjoyed it and I'm super thankful for all the reviews, favorites, and follows!**

 ***Bella's tattoo: pin/A9GOBQEQgCkHQPX7TvYZuJY/**

 **Note: The picture seems to show this on an arm, but I picture it more on the side of Bella's hip. So just ignore the placement in the picture!**

 **Extra note: I found a better picture of how I wanted Bella's to look so if you've looked before, take another look because you may have seen just the first picture!**

 ****Gwen's tattoo: pin/319263061064107034/** **  
**

 **Alright, thank you all so much for your time, see you next chapter!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Here it is! Chapter 8. I'm sorry if this one does seem a little bare on the bones, I was struggling with some of the detail for this one. But I got it fleshed out and finished, and I'm happy with it. So hopefully, you all like it, too!**

* * *

Chapter 8

* * *

 _"There's a time for daring and there's a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for."_

 _\- John Keating, Dead Poets Society_

* * *

Bella was a bit unhinged through the next week. This was the most active I'd seen her be in a long time. She called Jacob's house at least once a day, either from the home phone or from her cell phone. At this point, neither Billy nor Jacob would answer, they'd just let the phone ring. She tried going over there once more, on Tuesday, and once she swore she saw Jacob dart across the hall in the back of the house when Billy had finally opened the door for her.

She was relentless, desperate to not lose her friendship with Jacob. I was getting to the point where I was beginning to come to better terms with it. Jacob's abandonment had hurt me, sure, but I wasn't willing to jump through hoops for him like my cousin was. Maybe she'd felt more attachment since she'd recently been abandoned by people she was close with before, but either way I wasn't going wear myself out trying to chase the boy down.

While Bella was on her wild Jacob-hunt, I been stuck in bed the first half of the week. I was too weak to move, to the point that Charlie had taken time off work to help me. He'd bring me food and even carry me out to the living room so that we could watch television together. I was aching and sore to the point I couldn't move much without exhausting myself completely. I was taking four nebulizer treatments a day, and constantly needing to use my inh

While most of the food he brought me to eat was either a TV dinner, leftovers of Bella's cooking, or a can of Chef Boyardee, it was still very kind of him to take the time off to take care of me.

Sometimes, though, I had my worries that I was becoming a burden to him and Bella. I already knew that it was a laborious task having to take care of me, I could see it in Janette eye's when I'd get bed ridden and need her help. I could see the tiredness lingering in his face, even when she smiled. I hated the idea that I was wearing everyone else out with my constant need for care. Hopefully, Charlie and Bella didn't mind it as much as I feared they would. I loved them, and I really liked living there. I could on hope they wouldn't grow tired of caring for me.

Thankfully, I started feeling better once Wednesday hit. I convinced Charlie to go to work, as I could finally move around on my own again. In reality I still felt pretty weak and exhausted, but I didn't want him to have to spend more time off than he already had, just taking care of me. I didn't want to burden him with that.

It had been a while since I'd gotten that wiped out, to the point I couldn't stand, but it definitely hadn't been the first time it'd happened to me, either. I could manage on my own for the few hours I'd be home by myself.

Bella came home that day and instantly made a bee-line for the phone. I had been curled up in Charlie's recliner, an afghan thrown over my legs and a book in my hand. I watched with a raised brow as she threw her bag down in it's usually spot and practically ran to the phone.

I pinched the bridge of my nose as she started pacing back and forth, nearly tangling herself in the old, corded phone.

"Damn!" she hissed, as she once again got ignored by the Black family.

"Bells, I just don't think this is going to work," I told her, as she threw herself onto the couch. "I think if he wanted us around he would've said something by now."

Bella let out a long, defeated sigh, her face mirroring some of the hurt she was obviously feeling. "I… I know, Gwen. I know. I just want to know _why_ though. What was so important that he just tossed us to the curb? It isn't right, you don't treat people like that."

I tucked my bookmark into my book, drumming my fingers against the arm of the chair. I didn't know what to tell my poor cousin. I felt terrible for her, but I was glad that she was beginning to talk to me agai.

"If we go over there one last time, we might have luck. If I'm right, La Push school is just letting out. When we get there, we might just cross paths with Jacob as he's getting home. One last try, okay? After this, whether we get answers or not, we let go, okay?" I told her sternly, and her face lit up.

"You'll come along?" she asked, smiling at me.

I nodded. "But we have to take my Buick. I can't risk getting all out of breath climbing into your monster truck."

Bella helped me change, as I'd been lounging in my pajamas all day. I was almost embarrassed that I needed the help changing, but I still felt weak from when I'd been sicker earlier in the week. There'd been a full month at the beginning of my illness where I'd basically been wheelchair bound, with Janette and Lukas having to do literally everything for me. It'd been hell for everyone, because Janette couldn't lift me too easily when Lukas wasn't there, and I was depressed from feeling so absolutely useless.

I definitely hoped I wasn't going back to that just yet.

Once we were in the Buick, I drove us to La Push. I probably shouldn't have been driving, but I needed it. I needed to do something normal for once, after spending so much time cooped up. I blasted Aerosmith on the radio and even rolled my window down, letting the cold air run its fingers through my hair and cool my clammy skin.

I'd notice that the cold was becoming more bearable to me. Maybe it was living in the rainy and chilled Forks atmosphere that had started changing me, but the cold didn't really bug me as much anymore. In fact, it felt nice against my skin.

I didn't know what to expect getting to Jacob's. Part of me even hoped he wasn't there, as it would be awkward to face him after this clear message. He didn't want us, didn't want to talk to us anymore. That much was obvious. But Bella was determined to find out why, and I would be lying if I said I didn't want to know, too. But, I also wanted to just have a clean break, something Bella didn't want. If it got all messy and complicated I knew I wouldn't be able to hold back just exactly how upset I was with Jacob, and I hated showing that kind of weakness.

As we pulled into the drive, I saw a whole gaggle of boys hanging out on Jacob's porch. A very, very familiar group, all buff beyond belief and shirtless.

"You have _got_ to be kidding," Bella seethed.

* * *

 **Alice Cullen**

* * *

It was raining today in the city, making it the perfect day for me to go out shopping. It couldn't hurt to spend a little time browsing and trying on some clothes, even though I technically should still be in my hotel room, looking at the future for Jasper's mate.

A girl needed a break every once and while.

I was hiding in Canada at the time, in one of the larger cities. I knew that wouldn't deter Jasper if he decided to hunt me down, which I could see him battling himself over doing with every passing day. He was an excellent tracker, and while he was nowhere near as talented as Demetri of the Volturi or any of the other gifted tracker vampires we'd met over the years, Jasper was the next best thing. He knew how to hunt prey, how to play the perfect role of the vampire he was. If he decided to come for me, running would be the only option I would have.

 _I'm sorry, Jas. You'll understand, soon._

I started walking back to my hotel once I'd bought my fill for the day, catching the gazes and glances of several humans and I drifted through the streets. I tried not to draw too much attention, but it was hard when you looked like I did and had enough expensive looking shopping bags to let everyone know you were also loaded with cash. I didn't mean it in a condescending way, but it was true.

Vampires were like lures, and were beautiful in ways that drew humans to us like flies to honey. We were essentially the real version of wolves in sheep's' clothing. It would be a cold day in hell when a vampire didn't turn heads when they walked down the street.

Arms loaded to the brim with bags, I rode the elevator all the way up to top floor. I navigated myself back to my presidential suite, and unlocked the room in a fluid swipe of a key card. The door shut and locked itself behind me, and I quickly dropped all my bags near my suit case at the end of the bed.

Sighing, I let myself fall back onto the silk sheets of the bed, which had been freshly made by the hotel maids this morning. I could smell them all over the room, and I could smell all the cleaning supplies they'd used to tidy the room up while I'd been gone.

It was hard being an animal drinking vampire in the city, I'd quickly realized. I was surrounded day and night by humans, who's blood all sang to my blood lust in different tunes. I was to the point where I was leaving the city every other day to hunt, just for precaution. I didn't want to have a slip up, not when all these delicate futures were hanging in the balance.

Last thing I needed to do was have to disguise a murder while trying to keep an eye on the future of Gwen Swan.

I rolled off the bed, and quickly messed up the sheets so I wouldn't forget to do it. That way when the maids came tomorrow to change them once more, they'd believe I'd actually slept instead of just sitting up all night.

My phone was buzzing again, and one look at the screen told me that it was Jasper.

 _Again? He already tried once before. He knows I'm not going to answer it._

I waited for the phone to hang up, and sent him a quick text.

' _I'm sorry.'_

I sighed. My heart was aching, having to lie so deeply to the man I'd shared most of my vampire life with. I still loved him, a lot. But I knew that he wasn't mine, I'd known that from the beginning. And, like Peter had said the last time we'd been on the phone together, Jasper deserved happiness after all the horrible things he'd gone through. I wanted to do this for him, even though it hurt me to do it.

 _Maybe a hot shower will help me clear my head._

I slipped into the bathroom and undressed, throwing myself into the shower at the hottest setting. With my cool skin, even the hottest temperature only felt warming it me. It would take real fire to actually burn my skin, while any other human would've started turning red by now under the fierce temperature of the water.

Humming, I ran my fingers through my hair and then caught my eyes reflecting off of the shower knob. Golden, bright and vibrant from the previous night's hunt. I loved the look of our eyes, especially over that of human drinkers. We blended in more, and it allowed us to live our more peaceful way of life without many interruptions. Only, however, until we'd met Bella, who had been much too nosey and much too smart for her well-being.

Something in my mind tugged, and I let myself get guided into the vision pulling at my subconscious.

Everything was dark, and I was becoming frustrated with the amount of dark visions I'd been having lately. I'd never experienced such a long string of visions where I couldn't see everything clear. Sure, plenty of stuff had been foggy for me before, but almost always cleared for me once certain circumstances were met. I was fed up with not being able to fully see, I wasn't used to it and it was nearly angering.

 _"She's a threat."_

 _"You don't know that!"_

 _"She smells like them, Jacob. We know they can be gifted, she could just be one able to disguise herself as human."_

 _"That's such bullshit, have you seen her? Watched her nearly cough up a lung just from walking from her car to my garage? That's no circus trick! She's dying, Sam. I don't know why she smells like she does, she just does. But she isn't a vampire."_

 _"I'm sorry, this is out of my hand. The elders have agreed to help stage the accident."_

 _"Sam, this is ridiculous-"_

 _"Embry, stand down."_

 _"No!"_

I heard snarls and howling, and the sound of clothes shredding. A fight was happening, I just couldn't see a single bit of it. I had managed to connect that it had to be the wolves of La Push, and they were arguing about Gwen. Talking about… killing Gwen. But there were wolves who didn't agree with the pack leader, but it didn't matter. If the Alpha said jump, they all followed. They had no choice. It was the same with all shapeshifter packs.

 _The elders have agreed to help stage the accident._

I floundered, trying to pull myself out of the vision as quickly as I could. My senses came rushing at me like a brick wall, and I accidentally cracked a sections of shower tiles with my hand as I tried to grab onto something to stable myself. The leverage worked, and I could soon see my real sight coming back to me.

I was in the main room of the suite in seconds, dripping wet and trailing water with me as I went. I hadn't had the time to even consider redressing that point. I snatched my phone off the desk in a quick movement, trying to tap on the screen with my damp hands.

"Shit!" I hissed, the water on my hands messing with the touch screen of my phone so I couldn't unlock it.

Flashing back into the bathroom, I wiped my hands with a towel and then the screen, before wrapping it around myself and dialing up Peter. When there was no answer I groaned loudly, stamping my foot in protest.

"Peter, please!" I cried, trying to call him a second time.

My phone buzzed, and I quickly looked at the screen.

 _'We got it covered, on our way.'_

A huge sigh of relief left me, and I slid down to the bathroom floor, my head in my hands. This was totally out of my reach, I could do nothing now but hope and pray that Peter and Charlotte could reach them in time and without alerting the wolves right off the bat. If they didn't get to her soon, I couldn't tell what would happen to Gwen.

 _Maybe the wolves will change their mind. They might realize that she's not a threat once they get close._

God, I hoped I was right. This time, for the first time, I couldn't guarantee that I would be right. I was searching frantically for her future as I sat there on the bathroom floor, but nothing was coming to me. Just empty, silent darkness. I couldn't tell if that was her future or if I just couldn't see.

This time, I was totally flying blind, and I knew that the only chance we had now depended solely on Charlotte and Peter.

 _Please, get there in time, please._

* * *

 **Bella Swan**

* * *

 _Here goes nothing._

I hopped out of Gwen's Buick, hearing her quite protest for me to wait. I ignored it, walking up to the group on Jacob's porch in what I hoped looked like confidence, but on the inside my stomach was clenching and curling. I didn't know what was wrong with this group, but there definitely was something that wasn't right.

They weren't laughing anymore, they'd stopped when they'd seen Gwen's car pull into the drive. All of them were watching me march the rest of the way up the drive, openly staring even as I planted myself before them, not even caring that I was getting rained on in the process.

"Bella?" Jake's voice cut through the silence, and he squeezed around Sam and one other boy I didn't know the name of. "What are you doing here?"

I gaped.

Jacob was completely shirtless, and, he'd cut off nearly all of his hair beautiful hair. He was even bigger than he'd been last week, from what we'd seen of him before he'd cut us off. He looked just like the rest of them. And, I could see clearly on his bicep was a tattoo, the same tattoo we'd all seen Embry get in the tattoo parlor that day. After Cam had told him that he wouldn't tattoo him until he was eighteen.

"Wha… What." Damn it. I could hardly form the words, I was too stunned.

"Jake?" Gwen's soft voice came from beside me, and I glanced over at her.

She was looking at Jacob with wide eyes, confusion clear on her face. She looked hurt, seeing with the weird group he'd always loathed and ragged on every time we'd encountered them. For once, she wasn't trying to hide the pain she was feeling. I knew, deep down, this was hurting her just as much as it had me. She tried to tell me that she wasn't affected, that she was over it, but I could see through her. Jacob had become one of her best friends, something she'd never had before since she'd been in and out of hospitals for the better part of her life. And then he left us both.

The other boys slowly started to leave, grim looks on their faces. Sam gave Jacob a stern look before glancing at my cousin, his eyes narrowed in suspicious.

"Stop staring at her," I snapped, sick of seeing the sick look on his face every time he looked at her. "She's done nothing to you so get over it."

"Bella," Jacob warned me lowly, but I ignored him.

Sam stared at me, and I held his gaze. I didn't know where my strength was suddenly coming from. I felt protective of Gwen, even though she was usually the one holding us both together. She was the one who'd crash landed into my miserable life and helped me start living again. I wasn't about to let some asshole come along and make her feel less than she was.

Finally, Sam glanced back at Jacob, nodded, and then left with the rest of his group.

I turned back to Jacob, watching as he slowly walked into the rain. A grim, heavy look was on his face, like he'd just smelled something strange or ate something bad.

"You shouldn't be here," he bit out, giving me a hard look.

"Why?" Gwen spat, and I looped my arm over her shoulder. She was shivering, almost violently. I didn't think it was the cold, though, I think it was the anger rearing up inside of her.

Jacob shook his head, flecks of water running of the peaks of his chopped hair. "You two need to go home, now. And don't come back."

My heart squeezed in my chest, and I wanted so badly to punch him. He looked almost like he was pained, saying those words, but we were the ones that he was hurting. He had no right to feel like he was hurting in this situation.

"What is wrong with you?" I demanded. "You're hanging out with them now? I thought you hated them. They've done something to you, I can see that. If Sam's hurt you-"

"Sam is helping me," Jacob snapped, and it dawned on me then that I would get nowhere with this.

"You have no right," I whispered, my voice shaking and thick with emotion. "To do this to us. After everything. I thought I could depend on you, Jake."

Gwen tugged on my sleeve, and I whipped around to look at her. There were unshed tears glimmering in her brown eyes, but she pushed them back. "Let's go, Bells, we're not wanted. That much is clear. Let him go kiss Sam's ass like the rest of them, if that's the life he wants."

I looked back at Jacob, and nearly jolted. He was shaking with anger, his fists clenched at his side.

There was a sharp howl from the woods, and Jacob's head snapped to look towards the source of the noise. He then turned back to look at us, suddenly much calmer. "Listen, you two have got to go. I can't… I can't tell you, anything, okay? You have to leave."

I took in a sharp breath through my nose, but decided I would leave with what dignity I'd had left. Gwen was right, I was spending way too much time on this. Jacob had become someone that neither of us could recognize. I wasn't going to get anywhere with him like this, but I wasn't quite ready to give up. I'd let him go, though, for now.

We turned to leave, when I heard Gwen give a gentle gasp.

I turned, seeing that Jacob had reached out to gently grab her wrist. She was staring at his hand, confused. "God, Jacob, you're burning up. What's happening to you?"

He ignored her, and leveled his gaze with her. "Gwen… you need to go home."

She glared at him, weakly yanking her wrist from his grasp. He let her.

"I'm doing that, you dipshit, you have eyes," she snapped, a single tear slipping past her angry façade and mixing with the rain that was dripping off of her trembling chin.

I linked our hands, giving hers a gentle squeeze of comfort, like she'd done for me before. She squeezed back, standing her ground with Jacob.

He shook his head. "No, you're not understanding. You need to go back to Montana. You're not wanted here."

I felt anger surge through me like raging fire, and I was about to start ripping him a new one before he continued.

Gwen's eyes, God, I would never forget that look on her face. Shock, horror, understanding. It was like she was being told something she'd only heard in her nightmares, like she'd been fearing someone saying this her whole life.

"You're burdening everyone, that's why I can't be your friend anymore. It's too much having to take care of you all the time, I can't imagine what it's done to Charlie and Bella-"

"You asshole!" I quickly cut him off, as Gwen let out a soft sob. "What the hell is wrong with you? You have no right to say any of that! I don't know who you are anymore, Jacob. Certainly, not friend I'd believed you were. Let's go Gwen."

This was the first time I'd seen Gwen cry like this. Her shoulders shook as I tucked her into the passenger seat, slamming the door in anger and shooting Jacob a glare. He watched me sadly, a forlorn look crossing his face. I didn't know what he thought he had a right to be sad about, after all those nasty things he had said.

"Don't listen to him, Gwen," I soothed once I'd sat in the cab. I heard my cousin sob, curled into a small ball in the passenger seat. "He's wrong, Charlie and I do want you here. Helping you out has never felt like a burden to me, you're my best friend."

She uncurled, shaking her head. Loose curls and ringlets fell in front of her face, and she lethargically tucked them behind her ear. Her eyes looked like they were seeing things a thousand miles away. "No, he's right. It's a burden, I know it is. Everyone is always having to take care of me… I hate it. I just want to do things myself. I just want to be normal again."

"I know," I whispered, feeling tears clouding my own vision. "I'm sorry, Gwen."

We drove in silence for a moment, before I finally turned on the radio. I turned the tuner until it locked on to Gwen's favorite rock station.

 _"Like an unsung melody,_

 _The truth is waiting there for you to find it_

 _It's not a blight, but a remedy_

 _A clear reminder of how it began_

 _Deep inside your memory"_

Gwen softy started to sing along, to the song I had recognized as 'Disturbed'. It was one of the heavier rock bands that she and Jacob had introduced me to, one they'd listened to quite a bit in Jacob's garage while they tuned up the motorcycles together.

I hummed along, not knowing the song well enough to know the lyrics, as I decided to drive around a little bit more so that Gwen could listen to more music to calm herself down some. If I took her home now she would have a lot of time to stew on Jacob's awful words, since she barely slept at night, anyway.

" _Sometimes darkness, can show you the light,_ " she sang, laying her head against the cold window of the car.

* * *

 **Gwen Swan**

* * *

Bella and I ended up getting home late. She drove us all around the outskirts of Forks, through the mountains and back. She was trying to make me feel better, that I knew. Jacob had slung some pretty dirty words at me, some I always thought secretly to myself but tried to push back for the sake of my health.

What started out awful, ended up being a decent afternoon. Bella and I spent the drive picking out radio stations and singing along to the songs we knew. We were talking, about anything and everything other than the mishap in La Push. Only once the sun had set did she head home.

She parked my car next to her truck, and got out and walked around to help me out.

"Bella, psst, Bella," I whispered softly, as she opened my car door, rubbing at one of my eyes gently. They were still sore from all the crying I'd done. "What did baby-corn say to mama-corn?"

She raised a brow as she helped me out of the car. "I don't know, what?"

"Where's pop-corn?" I told her, very seriously.

She gave me a blank look, and then I saw her lip quiver. A snort escaped her, and I pointed at her with a loud laugh. The two of us fell into laughter at the utterly idiotic joke, Bella clutching me to her side so that I wouldn't fall down. I felt happy, despite what Jacob had told me earlier. I knew that I could stand strong without him being my friend, as long as I had my cousin and my family.

"Jesus, Gwen, that was awful," she mused, wiping a stray tear from her eye.

"But you laughed," I pointed out, smiling at her with amusement.

Bella smiled, then let out a soft "huh". "Looks like Charlie must've had to stay late. The cruiser is gone."

We walked inside and Bella helped me with my shoes. She hesitated at the banister of the stairs, biting her lip. "I'm probably going to go up and finish some homework. Do you want me to come down stairs with it? We can finish up the Harry Potter marathon we started?"

I shook my head. "No, it's okay, I think I need to lay down. All of that was a bit much for me, today."

Her eyes softened, and she reached out for me. We hugged, and she rubbed a hand over my back. "Don't think about it, okay? It was totally wrong for him to say any of that and it wasn't true, not a single bit of it."

"Thanks, Bells," I whispered, and we parted.

I could hear the thuds of Bella's footsteps as she made her way upstairs as I walked towards my room, ducking left into the hall way just before the kitchen.

My door was shut tightly, and I frowned softly.

 _I can't remember if I shut that or not… oh well._

I shrugged, turning the knob and letting myself inside. I made a beeline for my lamp, ready to start reading my book I'd abandoned earlier and forget about all the cruddy stuff that had happened that day. I knew that once I was alone I'd start thinking about it too much.

Just as I flicked the light on, I felt all the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I went still, not moving from my position hunched over my desk. I was feeling watched again, closely so. Something wasn't right.

Turning slowly, I shrieked as I saw two figures standing in the further corner of my room. Fear tangled up my spine like an angry snake, and I opened my mouth to scream for my cousin. The male figure was suddenly before me, faster than I could even comprehend with my eyes. A strong, very cold hand clamped over my mouth to muffle the scream that was about to escape my mouth.

"Shhhh, sorry, sorry!" he hissed, his eyes flickering, between me and up to the ceiling. "Please don't scream, darlin', we are sorry for scaring ya."

Good god, his eyes. They were a terrifyingly bright crimson color, the color of liquid rubies or of fresh blood. They popped out vividly when doubled with the sheer paleness of skin, which seemed to be flawless and smooth.

I'd never seen eyes that color before, he had to have been wearing contacts. There was no way that he had red eyes like that.

I blinked, slowly, trying to process what was happening and calm down my racing heart. His voice sounded familiar, extremely familiar.

The man slowly pulled his hand back, as though he was expecting me to start screaming bloody murder the second he pulled away. "Okay, okay, that's better. Look, I know ya are probably scared and confused, but we don' have much time."

"You were in Port Angeles," I whispered, my brows furrowing. "Almost two weeks ago. You were the two that saved us. God, I nearly thought I'd made you both up in my head."

Truly, this was the same couple. The man had the same white-blond hair, tied back in the exact same fashion as the man that'd saved Bell and I in the alley. The girl, too, had the same light blond hair cut into a stylish pixie style. They fit the exact profile, in hair color and in size. Only, now I could see their faces and I was awed just looking at them. The two looked like models that had just stepped off the cover of a magazine. Though, they did had severe purple like bruises beneath their eyes, like they hadn't slept in weeks.

He shook his head slowly. "No, ya' weren't dreamin'. That was us… We've been looking for ya."

"Me?" I whispered. "I don't understand. How did you even get in here, the front door was locked?"

"I got a way with locks," he said simply, shrugging his shoulders. "Now, I need ya to pack a bag. Pack the essentials, and pack light. Some clothes, maybe a couple things ya hold dear. We don't have much time, so be quick."

I gave the man a bewildered look. What the hell was he going on about? I wasn't about to start packing up to leave with a couple of strangers, if that's what they thought. If they were kidnappers, they sure had a terrible plan of action.

The woman next to him met his exasperated gaze, before nodding. She flashed around the room, and I gasped, stumbling back against my desk as she blurred around the room. Sometimes, I couldn't even see her when she was moving, she would just suddenly be on another side of the room.

She stopped back where she'd been previously standing, suddenly, with my backpack in her hand, and it was filled to the brim with clothes, whereas before it'd sat in the rocking chair, emptied out. She slung it over her shoulder, and it was then I noticed he also had a backpack strapped to his back, and it was also filled to the brim with stuff that appeared to be mine.

"Wh…what are you?" I whispered, eyes darting between the two.

"No time," the man grunt, and suddenly I was swept into his strong arms, a soft squeak leaving my lips. "We'll answer your questions later. Close your eyes."

I should've scream, cried, fought with every fiber of my being. Instead, I listened to the feeling in my gut and closed my eyes. Something just told me I needed to listen. Maybe it was my survival instinct, just telling me to play along so that these two strangers didn't hurt me. The other part of me felt like they really didn't want to hurt me, but then I was confused. Why were they here if they weren't out to hurt me?

We were suddenly moving faster than any vehicle I'd ever been in. I could feel the wind whipping at me like lashes, pushing fiercely against us as he ran at top speed. I dared to look, and nearly vomited then and there.

We were in the woods, that much I could tell, but I could barely even make out any shapes as he ran us through the terrain. I could see flashes of green and brown, like you'd see if you looked out the window of a speeding car, but this was so much faster. These people were not human, there was no way that they were human.

At first, the woman was nowhere to be seen and I'd wondered if she'd stuck behind to do something, when she suddenly appeared next to us, catching up with the male with ease.

I squeezed my eyes shut again, and screamed as I suddenly hear the howling of wolves. They sounded close, and angry. Even after hearing them so many times while hanging out at Jacob's, I never heard them so loudly before. It was if they were right next to us, running with us.

"Fuck!" the man cursed. "Okay, little one, things are about ta' get bumpy."

Snarling could be heard from both sides, and I dared to peak once more. In the slightest of moments, when I could finally make out a bit of the trees, I could see large, dark shapes running next to us. They were huge, and nearly as fast as these two inhuman people. They were hunting us, I could see them starting a formation from beyond the trees.

"Oh my god," I cried. What the hell had I just been drug into.

"Close yer eyes," he told me again, and I did.

All of a suddenly he made a leap, holding me tightly in his arms. One quick peak told me that yes, he and the woman had just leapt from a cliff. I quickly squeezed my eyes shut, not able to bear watching as the hard ground got closer and closer as we fell.

I screamed the whole way down, the man shushing me loudly. He angled his body so that his feet skidded against the rocky cliff side, buffering his fall significantly.

We hit the ground, and I expected to feel the pain of all my bones breaking at one time, but the guy landed right on his feet. The woman gracefully landed next to him in a crouch, not having tried to buffer her own fall in the least and coming out completely unscathed. I'd barely been jostled, the man cushioning me against him so that he'd take the full brunt of the fall. It hadn't bothered him a bit, hadn't broken any of his legs.

They took off running once more and I tucked my face into his neck, the wind making my eyes water. Everything around me felt like it was spinning and spinning and spinning. This had to be a dream, a sick, sick dream. I'd never dreamed lucidly before, but I was determined to put a stop to it then if this was going to be what I dreamt about every time I did it.

There was another sudden, and close howl coming from just behind us. It seemed there had been another wolf waiting at the bottom of the cliff for us.

"Fuckers, don't they give up?" the man hissed, literally hissed, in anger.

I opened my eyes again, peering over the man's shoulder, and gasped in shock as a wolf leapt out of the trees, directly at the small woman. I was convinced I was about to watch her get torn to shreds, and human or not, I didn't want to see it, I was horrified, but I couldn't force myself to look away. It was like watching a train wreck or a car accident, you couldn't pull away, you just had to sit and watch the horror unfold before you.

The next few moments happened so fast, it took my brain a few seconds to even process what it was seeing. She sensed it, somehow, and dodged quickly, looking like she was almost dancing as she pirouetted directly out of its path. She landed on all fours, and quickly straightened up as the wolf began to recover from its missed attack.

"Char!" the man holding me yelled, worry evident in his voice. His feet dug into the earth as he slid to a stop, looking back over his shoulder at the woman.

The wolf, impossibly large and black as night, lunged at her again, a loud snarl leaving its lips. She flipped back like a graceful gymnast, and kicked it directly in the muzzle in one fluid motion. It flew backwards from the force of the kick with a yelp and strangled growl, and she instantly started running again the moment she'd flipped the rest of the way and landed onto her feet.

"I'm fine, keep going!" she called, and I realized it was the first time I'd heard her voice. It sounded like bells, or a melody. It was almost music just hearing her talk.

I was starting to freak out. Not that I hadn't before, but now my vision was starting to fade away from me. Everything was slowly starting to fade away from me. My body started going limp in the man's arms, feeling my head lolling back on my shoulders. I was slowly fading into the black, the place I'd known so well from all my episodes.

But this time, I knew I was waking up, not falling asleep.

 _God, do I have the weirdest anxiety dreams. Can't wait to tell Bella about this one._

* * *

 **Bella Swan**

* * *

"Gwen?" I called softly, coming down the stairs slowly. "I finished my homework pretty quickly, are you sure that you don't want to start watching movies?"

Hearing no response, and not seeing her in the living room, made me frown. It wasn't like Gwen to ignore me, even when she was tired or upset. I hardly doubted she was asleep. She usually only could sleep a couple hours in early morning or at midnight, but never the early night.

I knocked on her door a couple of times. "Gwen? You okay? Look, if it's about Jacob…"

Swinging the door open, I frowned, pausing in my words. I walked further into the room and look around the corner to the rocking chair, seeing nothing. Her room was completely empty, aside from a few things of hers left lying around. But I could tell that some of her things were gone, because the room looked emptier. Some pictures, her usual clothes pile she dumped in the corner, her laptop and her DS, just gone.

"Where did you go?" I whispered, about to go check the bathroom when my eye caught a note on the desk, in Gwen's handwriting.

 _Dear Bella and Charlie,_

 _I'm really sorry to do this, but I need to go. I am tired to relying on everyone to take care of me and just need my space and time alone. I'm not going back home, but I'm also not staying here. Please forgive me, and never forget about me. I just want to do this, on my own, and be at peace with it all._

 _Love, Gwen_

I gasped softly, feeling a sob stick in my chest. My best friend was gone. She'd left me, too. She was the last thing I'd had holding myself together, and now she was gone.

I could hear the keys jingling in the front door as Charlie let himself in, but they sounded miles away from me. I could feel myself closing down as I read over the note millions of times. Something about it felt so wrong, but the proof was before me. All of her important stuff, all of the main clothes she liked to wear, it was all gone. Gwen was gone.

"Girls? Sorry I'm late, we got stuck holding a drunk in the tank and we had to fight over who was going to watch him for the night since Ricky was out sick-"

Charlie stopped at the doorway, look around with confusion. "Bells? Where's Gwen? What's wrong?"

I dropped the note and buried my face in my hands, shaking with disbelief. The hole in my chest felt raw and angry, swallowing me whole from the inside. Charlie quickly walked over to where I was and scooped up the note. At first, his face furrowed in confusion, and then horror dawned over him.

He took a step back, and then pulled out his cellphone. "Come on, damnit."

A soft little tune began to play, and we both looked at the floor. Gwen's little android phone was lying face down on the center rug, ringing out the tune from a song she'd told me was from her favorite game series, Legend of Zelda. She hadn't even bothered to take it with her before she left, the only thing we could've used to find her.

Charlie hung up and picked up her phone, which stopped ringing the second he'd tried calling her.

"Why… why would she want to leave?" he asked quietly, hurt flashing across his face as he read over it all once more. "We never minded taking care of her. Hell, it's my job. I'm her uncle, damnit."

"Jacob," I spat, feeling a tinge of hatred flash through me.

Charlie looked back at me, confused. "What are you talking about? This is because Billy's son stopped wanting to hang out with you girls?"

I shook my head. "No, no, we went over there and he told Gwen terrible things. Told her to go back to Montana and that she was a burden on you and me. I tried to get him to stop, but she'd heard it all. She felt so low, dad. I tried to cheer her up again but…"

I trailed off, because Charlie was marching out of the room in a storm. I could hear him pick up the home phone and suddenly he was yelling at Billy Black, the man he'd called a best friend since his own childhood. I could tell Billy was trying to placate him on the other end, and soon Charlie was no longer yelling, having hung up and was now calling the station to file a missing person's report.

Sitting down gently on Gwen's bed, I put my head in my hands. I knew Charlie would get nowhere with the report, and maybe, deep down, he knew that, too. Gwen was an adult by law, and no matter how sick she was, if she left a note and decided to leave, we had no case of getting a missing person's report in place for her.

 _God, please come back, Gwen. I can't do this without you._

* * *

 **And now Peter and Charlotte have fully entered the scene. I wanted to deviate away from the usual fanfictions where the Cullens come back and the oc just stays home while Bella runs to Italy and blah blah blah. Not that they aren't good, but I just wanted to test the waters and see how a different approach would work.**

 **Hope you all enjoyed, and thank you so much for all the support! Feel free to drop a review if you had any parts you really enjoyed or if you have constructive criticism to help my writing go more smoothly.  
**

 **Thanks again!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, we get a good peak at a character who's POV hasn't been in story yet. I hope you guys enjoy it! I'm still editing some mistakes or grammar errors in the chapter, but I wanted to get the update out before I had to go into work today. So give me until 3/10/18 and it should be a bit cleaner.**

* * *

Chapter 9

* * *

 _"I DON'T CARE!" Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!"_  
 _"You do care," said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His expression was calm, almost detached. "You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it."_

 _\- J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix_

* * *

 _God, my head is pounding._

I scrunched my eyes tighter as I began to wake up, stretching out my sore muscles. I felt like I'd run a mile. Every single inch of me was aching and sore. I'd not felt this tired in a long time, not this physically draining type of tired. I'd been mentally exhausted and wore down from my weak lungs, but I'd hadn't felt so worn physically since before I'd gotten sick.

I yawned loudly, stretching out my legs and wincing as a I felt a muscle pull a little.

 _Damn. I feel I've been run over. That was a crazy dream, though. Maybe I was moving around in my sleep? So weird, I feel like I actually slept a decent amount for once._

I opened my eyes, staring at the ceiling, and I felt all the blood drain from my face. I wasn't in my bed in Forks. The blanket that covered me wasn't the green duvet Charlie had bought for me. Instead, it was a burgundy color and thick. I felt like I was practically swimming in the sheets, and even when I stretched out my arms I could barely touch either side of the bed.

"Where the hell am I?" I whispered, softly, and slowly started to pull myself up into a sitting position.

Once I was up, I looked around the room. It was clearly a hotel room, I could tell by the desk littered with complimentary paper cups and coffee machine that was plugged into the wall. There was a flat screen mounted to the wall just next to it, just over a large dresser.

I looked to my left, and nearly jumped out of my skin. "Jesus Christ!"

"I'm sorry!" the woman cried, standing up quickly from the other queen bed next to mine. "I didn't mean to scare you, I was trying to be quiet."

"You don't just stare at people when they sleep!" I shouted back, putting a hand over my racing heart. "Good God, you scared the life out of me."

She looked sympathetic, her pale pink lips turned up in a small smile. "I'm sorry… I'm Charlotte."

 _"Char!"_

 _"I'm fine, keep going!"_

"Oh my god," I whispered, raising a hand to touch my forehead. "Last night was real. Like really real. I wasn't just having a super lucid dream."

Charlotte sat back down on the bed next to mine, perched on the edge nervously. Every movement she made was fluid, and quicker than I'd ever seen any human move before. "No, no it wasn't a drean. I'm sorry we had to take you from your family so suddenly like that, but you were in danger."

"Danger?" I blinked. "I figured you two were the danger, so this ought to be good. Speaking of two, where's the southern dude?"

She looked at the wall, at the clock that was ticking away in the corner, and then back to me. "He had to go… get some things. He should be back soon."

"Okay, so can you tell me what was so dangerous?" I asked her, my tone nearing sarcasm. "I think I was pretty safe where I was. You do know how many guns the Chief of Police can have, right? You're lucky Charlie wasn't there, you'd both have been shot."

She gave me an amused look, and then giggled. "Guns don't hurt us, we would've been fine. Besides, we were the ones who enticed the drunkard to start fighting, to keep him from coming home too early. It would've been harder to get in and get you if he'd been home."

I felt a cold sweat start building against the nape of my neck, and I slowly pushed myself up until I was huddled against the wooden headboard. "Okay… you can jump off cliffs without gaining so much as a scratch, bullets don't hurt you, and you both have red eyes. Dually noted here that I'm not dealing with normal human kidnappers."

God, I'd always loved learning about supernatural things. They were fun. I played games, watched movies, and read books all about fantasy and otherworldly things. I couldn't say that I always believed that it was out there, but it was fun to imagine and believe. But, now that it was right in front of me, I couldn't say that it was so much fun anymore.

She shook her head softly. "No, no we're not… We're vampires."

I started laughing, and she looked at me like I was crazy. "Well isn't that a damn joke! You kidnapped the wrong snack, lady. I'm sure I'm the furthest thing from an enticing hors d'oeuvre. I don't even have enough blood circulation to make my leg feel warm half the time."

She was watching my hysteric rant with a little amusement in her eyes, but she waited for me to finish.

Once I was done, I was started to cough. I'd worked myself up to much and all the yelling and hysterics had stressed out my lungs. I was coughing so hard that my whole body was seizing and shuttering with effort, each cough burning through my throat and lungs.

I frantically felt around the bed and on my person to try and find my inhaler.

The amusement left her face and she was suddenly closer to me, her hand carefully caressing my shoulder in some sort of comfort. I nearly jumped out of her touch. The moment her skin touched mine it felt like ice was sliding across my arm. The movement jostled me up more, and I was losing more air.

"Inhaler," I choked at her, pleading. "Please, please."

Her face lit up with realization, and suddenly she was no longer standing next to me. Less than a moment later she was next to me, crawling onto the bed with my inhaler in her hand. She let me snatch it from her and watched with sadness glimmering in her red eyes as I took a few puffs from it.

"You really are sick," she said sadly.

I glared at her, but was still holding in my last puff of the inhaler so I couldn't say anything back at her.

The door to our hotel clicked, and then swung up. The woman moved across the room, and it almost looked like she was floating with how lightly and gracefully she walked. The man, his arms loaded with grocery bags, met her halfway and wrapped his arms around her despite the bags. They held each other tightly for a moment, and I swore I could hear them muttering to each other.

I stared at the two, and then cough awkwardly.

The man's eyes shot to look at me, and I flinched at how brightly colored they were. "Ahh, you're awake."

"Good job," I spat. "You can state the obvious. Now take me home."

He shook his head, laying the bags down on top of the small hotel desk. The woman, Charlotte, started pulling some cold groceries out and cramming them into the small refrigerator that sat next to what I assumed was the bathroom door.

"Sorry, can't do that. Unless you want to go back to the wolves?" he asked me, shrugged off his top jacket and leaving him in a long sleeved green shirt and jeans.

"Wolves never come after humans," I told him, looking at him like he was crazy. "Besides, I was inside when you _kidnapped_ me! They're not going to start opening doors with their paws anytime soon, as much as I would pay to see that."

"Nah, ya don't get what I'm trying to say," he told me, and was suddenly sitting on the bed across from me, where Charlotte had been previously. "Those wolves that chased us? They're people. People who can shift into wolves."

My brows furrowed. "Are you sure you guys are vampires and not just crazy? I could accept that a lot better, if I'm honest."

He chuckled. "You've seen us move, seen a little bit of our strength. You wouldn't be able to just forget that any time soon."

I shrugged. "Probably not, but I'm not going to be alive for much longer, whether you kill me or don't kill me. So, I'm sure I could suppress the memories long enough until I'm gone."

His brows raised. "Kill ya? After all that trouble we just went through? Wouldn't that be a waste. No, we're helping you for a good friend. You're important, girly. We weren't about to just stand by and let the wolves decide your fate."

"What are you even going on about?" I groaned, throwing myself back onto the pillows. "Wolves are just that, wolves. They don't consciously decide who or what they kill, they just do it to survive."

"They do if they're human half the time," the man told me snarkily.

I gave him a blank stare, unamused with his humor. Then I just let my head fall back on the pillows.

"Can you just eat me already, instead of feeding me a load of cock and bull? I wasn't expecting to go this soon, but hey, it's more rad to get taken out by a crazy vampire than it is to die from some dumb, unknown disease," I sighed, rubbing my hands across my face.

"If I'm honest," he said, and the look on his face was a little mischievous. "Ya don't really smell all that appetizing and I just ate. Don't want an upset stomach, you know."

I snorted at him, and heard a loud crack. I jumped and my head shot back up in confusion. I saw Charlotte suddenly across the room, right next to the man. Judging by how he was rubbing the back of his head and the angry look on her face, I could conclude she'd whacked him across the head for his comment.

"Don't go scarin' her, okay, Peter? The situation is weird enough as it is," she scolded, a little hint of a southern accept slipping into her musical voice.

"Ow, damn, okay, Char," he grumbled, and looked over at me. Some of his blond bangs had fallen from behind his ears, and he quickly shook them back into his face. "M'sorry. I know this is a lot to take in. Those Indians, on the reservation?"

I nodded; I was following so far.

"They have an ancient magic in their veins. When vampires are around, some of them from select branches of the blood line can shift into large, vampire killin' wolves. I don't know the story, just what I've heard from the Cullen's," Peter said, and my ears pricked at the name.

"Cullen's?" I asked, sitting up straighter now, my eyes wide as saucers. "Like… Edward Cullen?"

The vampire I now knew as Peter raised a brow, nodding. "Yep, your cousin's ol' flame? Same guy, same species. They're vampires just like Char and I."

 _Oh, my god, Bella. You absolute nutcase. How do you even manage to get into these situations? Better yet, how do I manage to get into these situations?_

"Did… did they-?" If I were in a cartoon, my head would've been shown spinning around at that moment. This was all too much, too crazy. But I knew I wasn't dreaming, I was wide awake. And I was getting the full course of Vampires and Stuff 101.

"They didn't hurt her, if that's what you're askin'," he drawled. "They're the more peaceful type of our kind. They don't feed from humans, they feed off animals. It's less efficient, and they have 'ta feed more often, but it keeps their conscious clean and that's all that matter to them. Bella and Edward got together shortly after she moved to Forks, and she knew what he was."

"Why would he leave her?" I whispered. "If she knew his secret, and accepted him for what he was.."

"Because he's a dumbass," Peter deadpanned, and dodged the bag of frozen peas Charlotte threw at him. "Easy, woman!"

I couldn't help it, I chuckled. He was a charismatic person, that was for sure. Ornery, but charismatic.

"Okay," I said slowly, trying to process this all carefully. "Vampires aside. The Quileute's can turn into wolves?"

He nodded. "Those were the large wolves that were chasing us. We trespassed on their land, and I assume they realized we had you at some point during that whole thing since ya wouldn't stop screamin'."

"You would scream too if you just got kidnapped by a couple of vampires!" I protested. "Especially when one carries you like a brute and leaves you all sore the next day!"

"I told him to be more careful," Charlotte grumped from the other side of the room, having finally stuffed the fridge as full as she could and closing the door with a snap.

Peter huffed. "I coulda dropped her if I didn't hold tighter, would that have been better?"

I glared at him, and so did Charlotte. He put his hands up in surrender. "Fine, I'll behave."

"Okay," he sighed. "So, we came to get you because the wolves were going to come after you. At least, that's what the pixie told me. I don't know why, probably cause you kind smell like us or something like that-"

"Wait, wait, wait, hold on," I protested. "What do you mean that I smell like you guys? Like, what, vampires have a smell?"

Peter nodded, running a hand through his bangs. "Yeah. All vampires smell different to each other because we still carry our own personal smells, but there's a certain tinge in there that tells us who's a vampire and who's not. Plus, vampire scents don't smell like food to other vampires."

"And I smell like that? Like I'm not food?" I raised a brow, confused.

"No, ya do a little… just not as much as other humans. Like ya don't make my throat burn, even when I was needing to hunt earlier I still didn't have the urge to bite into ya," he explained, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know what's up with that, little one. You're a strange human."

"Says the vampire," I scoffed, trying to temporarily ignore the fact that his version of "hunting" meant killing and draining a living human being. "So… the Quileute's thought I was vampire… or something. Wait!"

I scrambled to the edge of the bed, Peter and Charlotte watching wearily as I pulled myself into a standing position, my socked feet touching the cold wood flooring. "What if they go after Bella? She's my cousin, they might hurt her to try and get to me. I can't just leave her there."

Peter shook his head. "I doubt it, she smells normal. Wolves are the protectors of La Push, and now Forks, as well, since the Cullen's are gone and they don't have to abide to the treaty."

"First, they're the enemy, now they're not, I don't understand." I threw my hands up in exasperation.

"Their main enemy is any vampire that gets close and isn't one of the Cullen's, so think about it," Peter explained. "If they thought you had any sort of vampire-y nature to ya', that'd explain why they might've decided to come after ya'. I personally don't think they know what the hell they're doing, but they're just stupid kids with a furry problem. I wouldn't expect much more from them than the nonsense they've started."

"Don't forget," Charlotte said softly, coming to stand next to Peter and placing her hand on his shoulder. "Not all of them wanted to go after her. A couple of the wolves actually attacked the rest of the pack when they were on their way to Forks, before they realized we were already there and her with us. They must've known her and wanted to try and protect her."

I felt a rock hit my stomach, and I felt like I had the smallest idea of who this group of wolves had to be.

A phone suddenly started ringing out of nowhere, and I jumped. I felt my pockets, and groaned when I realized I'd dropped it when Peter had swung me into his arms. Peter, however, produced his own phone, which was ringing incessantly.

"Friggen' pixie, she must be able to see again," Peter murmured, and then answered the call. "What's up?"

I heard a flurry of chatter on the other end, so fast and pitched that I couldn't make out a single word. Peter calmly pulled the phone a couple inches away from his ear, still listening to the person on the other line carefully.

"She's right here, she's already woke up," Peter suddenly answered, and then glanced at me, handing out the phone. "It's for you, little one."

* * *

 **Jacob Black**

* * *

The last couple of weeks had been absolutely hell.

I started feeling something the day Gwen and Bella got their tattoos, and it just got worse as that next week went on. I couldn't hold a conversation with anyone without getting mad at something simple, and I'd started eating so much food that I'd had to make two different trips to the grocery store in one week, just to restock it so my dad could actually have something to eat, himself.

I was feeling hot, like my whole body was going through a fever. But it wouldn't go away. I had to tell Bella and Gwen to stay home so that I could try and sort myself out, but I had no idea what was actually happening to me.

My dad was talking to me about Bella and Gwen, I remember that. He said something about how he wasn't so sure it was best for me to continue hanging out with them, and I blew up. I was yelling, I think I even threw a chair, and ran outside because it was too hot in the house and I felt like I was going to be sick.

Everything felt like it was closing in on me and my heart was hammering in my ears. I could practically feel my blood rushing through my veins, and even with the cold rain pouring down on me I felt no change in my temperature, no relief. Everything was hot, and my head was pulsing. I felt like I was going to explode.

And then the pain came.

It started in my core, just at my stomach. All of my muscles began to convulse and tense up. I was screaming, and I knew I'd fallen on the ground at one point because I remember looking up and seeing my father's worried face staring down at me from the porch.

Something, literally, burst inside me like a steam pipe. The next thing I knew, I was standing on all fours and I had a whole lot of voices in my head that definitely weren't mine.

 _'Jacob!'_

I looked around for Embry, ready to punch the fucker once and for all for ditching all of us.

I saw nothing but my yard, and my dad had wheeled himself back into the house. I could, however, very distinctly hear him talking on the phone with someone. It sounded urgent, but I wasn't trying to put focus on that, I was trying to find where Embry's voice was coming from.

 _'Jacob, I'm sorry! But you've changed now, too, we can start hanging out again!'_

 _'Embry, shut up, Sam's phasing soon. We'll rendezvous at Jacob's house'_

That was Paul. Fuck Paul, I don't want him at my house.

 _'Fuck you, too, Black! If it were my choice I'd leave you to sort your furry little accident out all by yourself!'_

I was confused. What the hell did he mean "furry little accident". I tried to pick myself off the ground and completely floundered, falling right back onto the wet ground. I shook myself, and froze when I saw my hands. Or, should I say, lack of hands.

 _'What the fuck, I have paws,'_ I thought to myself, and heard someone start roaring with laughing inside the recesses of my mind.

 _'Yep, you sure do,'_ Paul's amused voice floated through my head once more, and I felt the strong urge to want to find him and punch him, too.

I sat there, dumbfound, and staring at my feet and legs for probably a good ten minutes. I was drowning out all the voices that started talking in my head, especially when one of them sounded like Sam. I was definitely going crazy, I decided. I'd finally gotten one of those fever hallucinations people always talking about having when they were sick.

 _snap_

My head swung around towards the edge of the backyard. I could hear a group approaching. I could hear four sets of paws padding their way closer and closer to my home. I felt a growl gurgling in the back of my throat, and I rose onto all fours as four, large wolves emerged from the woods.

I glanced back at the porch, and there my dad was again. I was almost afraid of what he would say, seeing his son transform into a giant wolf. He didn't scream, didn't even look panicked. Instead, he smiled and waved at me, and then gave me a small nod of encouragement.

 _Whaaaat the hell._

 _'Jacob, it's alright,'_ Sam's dumb voice told me, echoing much louder than the other three floating around in my head.

I snarled, and looked at the black wolf leading the pack, causing the dark silver wolf to his left to snarl back at me. They were coming closer, and something about the black wolf looked so familiar.

 _'Jacob, it's me. Sam Uley. I am the black wolf.'_

 _'And I'm the queen of England, get out of my head!'_ I snapped.

The black wolf snorted, it eyes narrowing it what seemed to be annoyance. _'Jacob, we have to explain some things to you. I need you to sit still and listen while I help you understand what exactly is going on.'_

To my horror, I sat down without a second thought or without the conscious will to do so.

 _'You get use to that,'_ Embry said, and the gray wolf with dark black marks along its body gave a small yip. _'Sam sometimes forgets he's giving alpha commands.'_

 _'Alpha... what? What?'_

Sam explained it all. How the stories were true and that vampires existed, that vampires were the reason we all were changing, and that through the magic in our ancestors' bloodline we were able to change into these shapes to protect our people from harm. We were nearly as fast as any vampires, and our teeth and claws were sharp enough to rip them apart. The only catch was that they had to be burned to die, and that was the only part we had to do in our human form.

They then took the time to explain to me the treaty, and about the Cullen coven. Towards the end of that I was questioning Bella's sense of self preservation. I knew that she was clumsy and a bit accident prone, but not so bad that she'd leisurely hang out with vampires, let alone let herself fall head over heels for one.

They helped me change back, let me get some clothes, and took me back to Sam's.

There, I met his fiancée Emily. She was a sweet, caring woman, but she had a horrible scar across her face. It was later explained to me that she got that scar from Sam on accident, when he'd lost control of his anger and phased with her too close to him. And it was also explained to me that she was his imprint, and that basically meant they were meant to be soulmates.

Sam, after cramming this huge explanation into my head, then tried to make me take over as alpha of the pack. I didn't want it. I barely even wanted to be a wolf, let alone the leader of a whole pack. We argued about it pretty terribly, and it ended up with us both having to throw ourselves in the back yard to phase so that we didn't ruin any of his or Emily's furniture.

I knew it should feel cool or like some sort of honor, but it felt more like a burden. I was a ticking time bomb. I could hurt anyone that I cared about in a matter of seconds, and purely by accident.

All this information was crammed in at day one, and then the rest of the week my dad kept me out of school so I could learn from Sam and the others how to control my anger more, and how to phase at will. It was a long, exhausting process, but it would be worth.

"Soon I'll be able to control it enough to be around Bella and Gwen. It'll take some more time, but once I've got a better hang of it we can all hang out again, like we used to. Obviously, we won't tell them but we can protect them this way," I told Embry, grinning.

He glanced at me with wide eyes, and then looked at the ground. "Jacob… Sam isn't going to let you see them anymore."

"What?" I snapped, raising a brow at my friend.

"He's right," Sam said, and we turned to look at him. He was watching us from his back patio, his arms crossed. "It's too dangerous. Aside from that, we have a slight problem… with Gwen."

"They're my friends," I protested, stepping closer. "They won't understand if I just stop hanging out with them. They won't cause trouble, they never make me mad."

Sam shook his head. "The girl… Gwen, she is something the elders and I have been trying to come to grips with since she showed up here. We are thinking she has something to do with vampires. She nearly reeks just as much as a real vamp does."

"What are you talking about?" I seethed, and I felt a familiar unnatural tremor start to roll down my spine in angry waves.

Sam looked at me with hard eyes, speaking slowly as though he were talking to a child. "She's a threat."

"You don't know that!" I protested angrily, stepping closer to my alpha.

"She smells like them, Jacob. We know they can be gifted, she could just be one able to disguise herself as human," Sam explained, and I shook my head roughly.

"That's such bullshit! Have you seen her? Watched her nearly cough up a lung just from walking from her car to my garage? That's no circus trick! She's dying, Sam. I don't know why she smells like she does, she just does. But she isn't a vampire," I shouted, my mind whirling.

I'd not come in contact with Gwen since my change, but I had caught glimpses of the red-haired vampire we'd been running off our territory every single week. I knew her sickly sweet smell, and her terrifyingly fast reflexes and strength. Gwen had none of that. She was too sick. Maybe it was her disease that changed her smell to something like theirs, but I knew she was innocent.

Sam shook his head. "I'm sorry, this is out of my hand. The elders have agreed to help stage the accident."

My eyes widened in shock, and Embry sprang forward to my side, a look of pure horror on his face. "Sam, this is ridiculous-"

"Embry, stand down," Sam cut him off, and I watched in near horror as my friend went quiet, his voice dying in his throat as he looked at the ground.

"No!" I growled loudly, and phased.

Sam reacted quickly, springing off the porch and phasing in one fluid motion. Embry quickly backed up, looking horrified as we collided in the middle. We were snapping and snarling, and I could feel Sam's claws raking into me to stop my consistent lunges.

' _Jacob! Stop!'_ He growled, as I swiped my claws across his chest.

Something in my navel tugged, trying to pull me into a submissive position. I fought against it, I wasn't going to sit down for this. My friends were in danger because of Sam. Gwen may not have had much time left, but she surely didn't deserve to get murdered just because of a small inkling that Sam and the tribe Elders had. She deserved to enjoy what time she had left.

I could feel Sam's anger radiating through his side of the mental bond as I openly defied him, continuing to attack at him fiercely. _'I'm not stopping until you say you'll leave Gwen alone! I'm not going to let any of you hurt her!'_

' _Jacob, I said STAND DOWN.'_

His voice thundered through my head, and I felt a migraine form almost instantly. I tried to fight back again, tried to keep fighting him, but I soon found myself laying in Sam's back yard, human and naked as the day I was born. I just laid there, tasting sour defeat in my mouth.

Sam also phased back, glaring down at me. "This decision is final."

He turned around and walked back inside, probably to get some clothes and to also comfort his imprint, who'd saw the whole thing through the kitchen's back window.

Embry walked forward, pulling a pair of shorts from his school bag that he'd had slung over his shoulder. "Here. It's wise to start keeping a spare pair wherever you can. We all go through them a lot. Though I've never seen anyone try to fight Sam like that. I've watched Jared and Paul fight plenty of times. How did you stay up when he was commanding you to stop?"

I shrugged as I pulled the shorts on. "I don't know… but I'm not letting him go through with this."

Embry looked at the house, nervous, and then looked back at me and nodded in agreement.

* * *

Later that day, I hated myself. We'd just gotten back from our patrols, laughing and joking around together even though there was a lump in my throat. It was hard for me to even stomach Sam's presence at the moment, but I did like hanging out with the rest. They understood what I'd gone through, they'd also had to leave friends behind.

I felt my heart clench. I could hear the Buick approaching from miles away, but I tried to shrug it off as just someone else's car. But that wasn't the case, not at all.

Bella and Gwen had finally cornered me, after all of Bella's attempts to call. And here I was, the biggest shmuck in the world standing next to all the people I'd claimed to hate and loathe, laughing and having a good time. I couldn't even begin to think about how betrayed they felt, it killed me too much.

But I knew what I had to do.

Sam gave me a hard look as he walked away. He wanted me to turn them both away, he'd told me that explicitly plenty of times. And he'd forbidden me of warning Gwen of what may come while the Elder's decided when and what to do with her. Just the thought of that made a lump form in my throat.

I could finally smell what the pack was talking about. She did smell like a vampire, like that redheaded one that kept skirting around. Sickly sweet and very pungent. But it was different, not the same. There was still human in her smell, like a mask over the vampire smell. It had to be her disease, it just had to. It wasn't even possible for me to believe that she was just a clever vampire tricking us all. I'd watched this girl get so weak she could barely move on her own, let alone move lighting fast. I'd carried her, laughed with her, and she was my friend.

 _I'm going to hate myself for this._

The rest of the pack left after Bella lashed out at Sam. He'd been analyzing Gwen, and we could all hear him subtly sniffing at her. He was trying to figure out her smell, I knew that, but I also knew it wasn't going to change his mind. In his thoughts, he admitted that he could smell the human on her, but still believed it could just be a trick. He thought it too much of a risk.

God, all the shit that spewed out of my mouth. I wanted to scream. I even tried to just let it all spill out, tell them the whole secret and warn Gwen, but I couldn't. Sam's alpha commands kept all of it silenced in my throat. So, I had to resort to the worst thing I'd ever done to a friend.

I picked a weakness, and focused on that. Gwen had confided in me once that she felt her illness was a bit of a burden on others, but hadn't elaborated. It was all I had to go on, so I stuck with it. I said the worst possible things I could've ever said to a friend, especially a sick friend.

The tears in her eyes struck me. I was shit, I was lower than shit. But, I wanted her to be safe and alive. If she left Forks and La Push and went home, she'd be safe from the rest of the pack for good. She'd die, still, but at least she wouldn't be killed by wolves. I didn't even know how they planned on killing her, I didn't want to know.

Bella, however, looked ready to punch me. I really hoped she didn't, because she'd probably break a couple fingers trying. She didn't, though. Slung some terrible stuff back at me that I completely deserved, and then took Gwen back home.

I hated hurting her, and hurting Bella. In my heart, I knew that my simple crush on her wasn't so simple. I loved her. I tried to be more than just her friend but she'd cut me off at every pass. She was still so hung up on that leech of a boyfriend she'd had.

Now, however, I felt like I'd lost them both. My best friend, and the love of my life.

 _I am garbage._

* * *

I had just gotten off of my shift of night patrol, headed home, when Sam, Jared, and Paul all phased. Their thoughts crammed into my head all at once, but they ceased talking once they felt my presence on one end of our mind connection.

 _'Jacob. We're waiting for Embry and Quil.'_ Sam told me, and I could see pictures of the woods flashing through his mind and giving me a good idea of where they were.

Ah, yes, Quil. He phased not too long after I did, thankfully. I'd hated leaving him all by himself and not able to speak a single word for him. But, Sam promised that he would phase and thankfully he did. He loved being a wolf almost instantly, which was nothing short of what I'd expected from him.

Adjusting to the double life was a little bit hard on him, though.

All it took for him to finally adjust, however, was him imprinting on Emily's two-year-old niece Claire. At first, I'd been horrified, but Sam explained that our imprints could be much younger than us, because when we phased regularly it slowed our aging and body growth down. For now, Quil would simply be her protector and older brother type figure until she was older. And even then, even if it hurt Quil, she'd still have a choice to. It made a bit more sense to me then, seeing how he had no single inkling of romantic thoughts towards her in his head, just devotion and adoration.

 _'Waiting for what?'_ I asked, mentally and physically exhausted. After all the things that'd happened in just one day, I was ready to sleep and not wake up for another week. I'd fought with Sam, become a total asshole to my friends, and I was exhausted.

 _'Tonight, is the night.'_

I instantly understood what he meant, and I panicked. I tripped over a tree root and yipped as I scrambled to get back up. God, we weren't prepared. Embry and I had only gone over things once.

 _'Prepared for what?'_ Sam asked, and I could feel the suspicion on his end of the link.

 _'Prepared… prepared to lose our friend. We were both close to Gwen. This isn't exactly something that will be easy for us,'_ I snapped, impressed with myself for being a quick thinker for once. _'It's not every day you get forced to murder one of your best friends.'_

Sam let out a heavy sigh, and for a moment I felt a tinge of guilt come from him. So, he knew what he was doing was wrong. Maybe it was just the elders who thought she was a threat, or maybe Sam just felt guilty that, after all was said and done, there was a possibility they'd realized they'd slaughtered an innocent, sickly eighteen-year-old girl who didn't have the strength to even throw a punch.

 _'Enough, Jacob!'_ Sam snapped at me, hearing my inner monologue.

 _'If the shoe fits,'_ I warned him.

I felt Embry and Quil phase, and Embry's nerves were all over the place. I could only hope he could keep his thoughts monitored enough.

They were heading towards Forks, and I could feel the nervousness in all of them. None of them really wanted to do this. Not Paul and Jared, not Quil and Embry, and not Sam. But they were acting on some sort of blind sense of justice that it was something they needed to do, despite the possibility that they were wrong.

I'd just joined them, flanking the group on the right. Embry, on the other side, caught my eyes. I nodded at him. He looked forward, nodding to himself.

I waited a few moments, before giving the commands. _'Embry, NOW!'_

Embry dove right onto Paul, biting down on his shoulder and latching on tightly. Paul instantly began snarling and growling, thrashing around violently to try and shake him off. I worried for me friend for a moment, knowing how much bigger Paul was in his wolf form and just how badly he let his anger get ahold of him.

But Embry held on tightly, nearly clinging to Paul's back and keeping his teeth sunk deep.

 _'Embry, st-'_

I pounced right into Sam, cutting his command short. The two of us tumbled down a short hill into a thicket, snarling and scratching. I could taste blood in my mouth, and I could feel blood coming off of me in several places where Sam's claws and teeth had dug in.

' _What the fuck, guys!'_ Jared shouted, and I feel pain coming from Embry as Jared started tugging on his tail roughly, trying to get him off of Paul.

Quil was horrified, struck still. I knew he wouldn't help us, knew that he couldn't. If he so much as lifting a paw to help us, Sam could possibly cut him off from Claire, and that would kill my friend inside. I was just happy he wasn't trying to fight us, because it would've been worse having to try and take down one of my closest friends.

Sam managed to kick me off finally, snarling loudly. _'Jacob, stand down!'_

My haunches lowered, and I felt my body bending to the command.

' _No, I won't let you!'_ I growled, pushing my body back up.

So far, from what I'd discovered, I was the only pack member able to actively defy Sam. It was probably because of my ancestor Ephraim Black. He'd lead the original pack that formed the treaty with the coven, and his alpha blood lingered in myself. It was why Sam had tried to pass the alpha right over to me, his ancestor being only part of the pack and not the actually alpha.

There was a yip of pain as Paul thrashed Embry into a tree, and my friend couldn't hang onto him any longer. He'd done a good job, though. I'd managed to wound Sam, and I fully planned to continue this fight even if Paul joined in. Embry had worn him down at least a little for me, and I couldn't thank him enough for that.

' _I'm commanding you to stop, Black.'_ Sam seethed, and he stepped forward with a low growl.

' _I'm telling you to shut up and go home!'_ I bit back. _'You're out of it if you really think I'm going to let you do this.'_

' _We have no choice!'_ Sam shouted, shaking his large dark head.

' _I'll take the responsibility,'_ I yelled. _'If she turns out to be some sort of vampire in disguise and kills someone, I'll take the responsibility and kill her myself, okay?! This man hunting thing is ridiculous! We're supposed to protect people. She has shown no ill intentions and you've already pegged her for a crime she has yet commit. You are making. A. Mistake. And you know it.'_

Sam stared at me, long and hard. He sat down, and I heard the others slowly slink down into the thicket with us, watching as we argued.

' _If she hurts a single person,'_ Sam started, and I felt my entire body sag with a sigh of relief. _'It's on you, Black. You will take full responsibility.'_

' _Sure, sure,'_ I rolled my head, and gingerly lifted myself off. _'Jesus, if that was all I had to say I would've said it a long ass time ago.'_

' _You kind of convinced me when you ripped a piece off of my shoulder,'_ Sam deadpanned.

Sam and I had done quite a number on each other, both injured but quickly healing up. I could taste the blood in my mouth anymore. I was glad we weren't going to have to fight further, I was afraid for what we'd have to do to get the pack to stop hunting Gwen.

 _Now I gotta work on an apology for all the crap I said. Fuck._

' _Yeah, you were kinda a dick,'_ Embry agreed, limping up next to me.

I huffed at him, knocking my shoulder into his gently. I couldn't be more thankful to have him as a friend, especially in that situation. I wouldn't have been able to fight long if I'd had all the other members of the pack on my tail.

The trees around us gave a soft rustle, and there was a certain smell on the wind. Two smells, to be exact.

 _'Is that?'_ Quil asked softly, trailing off.

 _'Vampires, let's go,'_ Sam commanded, and we all bounded off towards Forks.

The smell led us straight to the Swan home, and I felt a bolt of dread run through me. I could hear Bella moving around in her room, but it appeared she was the only one in the house at the moment. Gwen's buick, however, was still in the drive way. She was missing.

 _'The scent goes this way!'_ Jared barked, and we all quickly dove in the forest after the smell.

This time, however, there were three smells. The two vampires, and Gwen's odd mixed scent.

 _'They took Gwen!'_ I told them, and let out a howl of anger.

A scream split the air in the forest just after my howl, and it sounded close. It was Gwen, I could almost smell the fear laced in her trail.

We were catching up to them, and I could hear Gwen trying to steady her breaths. Through the splits in the trees I could see and male and woman, the male cradling Gwen in his arms. Both were blond, the male more tall and lean, while the woman was small like a little pixie. It confused me, because I'd nearly expected it to be the redhead we'd been chasing off.

"Okay, little one, things are about ta' get bumpy!" the male vampire shouted, a slight southern drawl hanging in his voice.

Gwen's little face peaked over his arms, and for moment it looked like she could see us darting through the trees.

"Oh my god," she cried, burying her face once more.

 _I'm coming, Gwen!_

"Close yer eyes!" he told her.

I lunged at him, just as he and the woman jumped right off a cliff. I quickly skidded to a halt, Embry and Jared just behind me. Luckily, none of us fell after them, but we'd need to find another way down.

 _'Sam's already down there, he, Quil, and Paul split off at the last moment. Paul's lagging behind though, his neck is still healing,'_ Jared told us as we started to run around the slope of the cliff so that we could reach the bottom safely.

I felt guilt radiating off of Embry, and I swallowed the knot in my throat.

We reached them just in time to watch Sam come crashing through a tree. His muzzle was bleeding, and I think his jaw had been broken. I could feel the pain and fierce anger radiating from the mental link, but he didn't say a word as he slowly got back to his feet.

 _'She kicked him right in the face!'_ Paul growled, and he lunged forward to chase after them.

We ran after the two for what felt like ages. Every time we got close, the two changed routes and evaded us. I didn't know who they were, but they knew what they were doing. Something told me this wasn't their chase scene, or their first battle. The woman who'd already kicked Sam had completely evaded Paul, who'd gotten close enough to nearly bite her.

Paul had lunged, and she came to a screaming halt. She knelt close to the ground, like she was bowing in respect. He flew right over her, as he hadn't expected her to suddenly stop, and she punched him right in the ribs as he sailed by. He sailed into Jared, who'd been looping around for a counter attack, and before the two could even catch their bearings, the two vampires had sped off once again.

 _'Fucking hell!'_ I snarled. This couldn't be happening.

I sprinted forward, past my pack. I could hear a couple of them yelling for me, telling me not to go ahead alone, but I couldn't shake the image of Gwen in that guys arms, or the sound of her screams. I had to save my friend. I had to try.

The woman ran straight through a tree line, and for a moment I lost sight of her.

I sprinted through the trees, and into a clearing. The woman was gone, and the man was there. Gwen was no longer in his arms, and I knew that he'd had to have passed her off to the female vampire.

He held a giant tree in his hands like a baseball bat, earth still caked in its roots, and he had a shit-eating grin plastered across his stupid vampire face.

"Batter up, mutt-face!" he yelled, grinning, and I couldn't come to a stop fast enough even though I could see what was about to come.

He swung the tree at me, and I cried out in pain as the tree smacked into me head on. I could hear and feel it crack a few of my ribs, and I went flying back out of the clearing. When I landed, the tree had nearly cracked in half from the force of the blow, and I was laying beneath one of the pieces.

When my vision stopped spinning, I could see the rest of the pack standing around me.

 _'What the hell are you guys doing?'_ I snarled in my head, and Embry and Quil started nudging the tree trunk off me. _'They have Gwen!'_

 _'They made it into Port Angeles. We cannot follow,'_ Sam told me, and I could feel a bit of remorse coming from his mental link. _'I'm sorry, Jacob. We'd attract too much attention, there would be no way we could get in and out without exposure. She's gone.'_

I laid there on the forest floor for a long time, my face buried in my paws. Something in my stomach was telling me this was my fault, even though I knew I hadn't mean for this to happen. I'd tried hard to save her, I knew that. But I could taste the bitter defeat in my mouth, and the utter sadness of knowing my friend would turn into some sick vampire's snack.

 _I'm sorry, Gwen. Please, forgive me._

* * *

I sighed loudly, standing underneath Bella's window. I could hear her inside, her soft breaths and the sound of pages turning slowly.

Charlie was gone, still not home yet from work. It was three days since Gwen had been taken, and I had spent those days mulling over what had happened. It was eating away at me inside, and I couldn't take the solitude anymore. I didn't know what Bella did and didn't know, but since she already knew about vampires, I figured she deserved to know what happened to Gwen, and she deserved to have a friend back after losing us both in a span of days.

I threw a small pebble at her window, and waited a few moments.

Her soft brown eyes were the first thing I saw, and I wanted to flinch. She looked like she'd been crying, or like a zombie. She looked like she had when Sam had found her in the woods that day, like a living shell of a person.

To my surprise, she opened the window without a word, and I heard her stepping away. I quickly climbed up the small trellis onto the ledge that poked out over the first floor, and then jumped for her window. I caught the sill swiftly, and lifted myself up and inside.

Before I could even get my bearings, I felt a huge ass math textbook whack me across the face.

"Hey!" I shouted, nearly falling back out of the window. "Jesus, Bella!"

"How dare you!" she shouted angrily, and an AP history book nailed me right in the shoulder. "How dare you show up like nothing's happened!"

"Bella, wait!"

Jesus, at least she wasn't throwing punches, that would've ended up hurting her more than it hurt me. Though the textbooks were doing minimal damage, they still hurt a bit. Especially the one to the face.

She stopped, standing across the room from me and armed with a biology book. "What, Jacob? What do you want?"

"I'm sorry," I told her, as gently as I could. "Okay? I'm really, really sorry."

Anger flashed through her eyes, and she raised the biology book.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait!" I said, holding my hands up in surrender. "I want to try to explain. I know that you know that somethings up, you're too smart for that."

Bella analyzed me, and slowly lowered the book back to her side. "Okay, explain, then. Tell me what been wrong with you, and why you said all the crap the other day."

"I can't," I told her, seriously. "I physically can't say."

She glared at me. "Why the hell did you come here, Jacob?"

"Bella, do you remember when I told you about the legends?" I asked her, slowly, ready to defend myself against any other school tools she decided to throw.

"Yes," she said, softly, and my heart nearly broke when I heard her voice crack. "I remember."

"Then think," I urged her. "You can figure this out. Just think about what I told you on that day on the beach, and you can figure this out. I know you can."

Bella gave me a watery stare, and then turned away. "Gwen's gone."

"I know," I said lowly.

"It's your fault," she whispered, turning away from me and folding her arms over her chest.

"I know," I whispered back. "And there is nothing I can do to make that right."

Bella turned and glanced at me from over her shoulder. "Go home, Jacob."

My heart sank, but I knew that I deserved it. Even under Sam's alpha command, I'd had some sort of a choice. If I defied him too much, pushed too much against the command, I would assume dominance as alpha and I didn't want that. It was my choice not to become alpha, and because of that I had to follow what Sam said.

If I had chosen differently, there would be a chance that Gwen would still be here.

Turning back to the window slowly, I swung my leg over the ledge and prepared to jump back down.

"Jacob."

I looked over at Bella, and she was watching me closely. No longer close to tears, no longer angry, but critically. She took a couple steps forward, biting down gently on her bottom lip like she always did when she was deep in thought, or trying to decide something.

"I'll come to La Push in two days," she stated. "After school."

I nodded at her, and dropped myself out of the window. Hopefully, Bella would be able to put the pieces together. It'd been a long time ago that we'd talked about the legends. She'd only just moved to Forks. I was lucky if she even still remembered the story at all, let alone remembered the parts about the wolves and not just the vampires.

I walked back around to the front of the house, were I'd parked my dad's truck, my shoulders sagging with defeat.

 _God, why can't my life just be normal?_

* * *

 **So we get a peak into the mind of Jacob. I feel the worst for him in this case, I believe, because he believes he's caused Gwen's death, even though we know she is alive. So now he's left to pick up whatever pieces he hopes are left with Bella, and get his friendship back with her the best he can.  
**

 **I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, I had fun writing with Jacob's POV. Thank you all who reviewed, favorited, or followed. I appreciate all of your support and can thank you enough for it.**

 **If you enjoyed the chapter or have some constructive criticisms about my writing, please drop a review! 3**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello! Sorry for the pause in updates. I got a little stuck writing this chapter and it made me lose some drive. But I got over the worst of it, and managed to get this chapter done. I've also been having some issues with my job, but hopefully that'll be done and over with soon.**

 **Thank you all so much for your loyalty and patience with me! Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 10

* * *

 _"There's always a calm before the storm..."_

* * *

"…Hello?" I drawled, my brows furrowed in confusion.

"Hi!"

The voice on the other end sounded just as beautiful as Charlotte's, like every word was a song. This voice, however, sounded a lot more excited and a bit of a higher pitch than Charlotte's.

"Gwen, I'm so happy to finally get to talk to you! My name is Alice," the voice said quickly, happiness practically radiating through the phone.

I paused. "Alice… Cullen?"

Bella had only talked about the Cullen family with spare detail. But I knew mostly of Edward and Alice. All she had really grit through telling me was that Alice had been her best friend. But, she had left her in the end, too. I think that had nearly hurt Bella as much as Edward leaving, having the people she'd thought cared for her just ditch her without a thought.

"Yes, exactly," Alice chimed. "Bella's talked about us?"

I snorted. "Yep, about how you guys all left her behind and then your stupid ass brother left my cousin alone in the woods."

There was a long pause, and then she spoke again, her voice dark. "He what?"

Peter and Charlotte both looked up, as they'd been standing and whispering to each other ever since I'd taken Peter's phone. They both looked as shocked as I felt when Alice's bell chime voice sounded angry and sharp.

"Why do you care what he did or didn't do?" I demanded, feeling anger surge in my chest. "Your whole family ditched her, you included."

Alice was quiet for a moment, and I could barely hear her whisper. "I'm trying to fix it…"

"Gwen," Alice began again, recovering, and speaking louder. "We made a mistake, and Edward is also making a huge mistake. I'm trying to get everything around to drag us all back to Forks, but we needed to get you out of there first, before the wolves came. I couldn't see them, but I could hear them fighting, and it didn't sound good."

Wait, what?

"What do you mean you didn't see them?" I grilled, angrily. "Are you saying you were actually in Forks and didn't come to see Bella at all?"

Alice giggled, as though I were missing out on a joke. "No, no, silly. I'm a psychic. I can see possible futures that depend on the choices of others."

Of course, she was. Of course, vampires couldn't stop at just being mythical beings, they could also have super powers. Great. Next thing you know one of them was going to tell me they could read my damn mind.

"So, you're saying you could see Bella sitting in her room for months like a damn zombie and that wasn't enough to motivate you all to come home? Cause if you really cared about her, that should've sent you running back instantly," I growled, stamping my foot even though she couldn't see me. "Why watch out for me, and not her? She's the one you're supposed to be friends with, why do you give a damn about her sick cousin?"

Alice let a soft, sad sigh. "Edward asked me not to look into her future… I felt like I at least owed him that, even though I fully agree that he made a mistake leaving her after she'd fully accepted and loved him for who and what he was. I love Bella, I always will, even if you do not believe me now, but I wasn't looking for her future.

"Sometimes I get premonitions involving my other family members, or our family as a whole. I don't always have to be looking for someone for their future to pop into my head. I happened to have one of you, a couple months ago."

"When I came to Forks?" I questioned, pushing aside my anger for now.

It wouldn't do me any good to scream at her, even though I was very upset with her and her family for the damage they did to my cousin. While I know that Bella's reactions were a bit more extreme than others deemed necessary, I'd spent enough time with her to know it was genuinely how she felt. She wasn't exaggerating, she hurt a lot from this.

It was like the whole family had strung the moon and the stars up for her, and then ripped it all away in one devastating blow.

"I'm assuming so. You are going to be very important to us all one day. You already are to Bella," she chimed happily. "I know you're mad at me. Mad at us. I can hear it in your voice. But, please, give us a chance when the time comes."

"Unlikely," I deadpanned. "Considering I'm still here. I want to go home, to my family. You may not have saw with your super psychic powers, but I'm dying. Maybe this week, maybe in a month, maybe by the end of the year. I don't know. But I want to die with my family near me, not surrounded by strangers. Especially not people eating ones."

"I'm sorry, Gwen, but that's not a good choice right now. Unless we can guarantee that the wolves won't come for you, we can't let anything happen to you. Even if I hadn't saw you, Peter's own ability drew him and Charlotte to Forks. They would've taken you anyway, with or without my guidance," Alice explained, her voice sullen.

I snorted in disbelief, and held the phone out to Peter. I was done. This was all too much, too ridiculous. I didn't want to listen to this vampire woman try to justify puppeteering my cousin and I around. I knew she probably meant no harm with what she was doing, but I was upset and insanely homesick already.

Peter took the phone from me and began to speak with Alice in a soft, extremely fast paced tone. So low and so fast I couldn't even make out the words, not that I cared to at that point.

I folded myself onto the bed, holding my head in my hands. My left leg was going numb and tingly and I felt like I was about to blow a gasket. This was all way too much. Vampires were real, they had powers, and I was nearly eaten by giant Quileute wolves that may or may not be my friends. Or, at least, people I thought were my friends.

Charlotte sat down on the edge of my bed, a sympathetic look on her face. "I'm sorry, sweetie. This is a whole lot to take in, I know. But we just want to keep you safe."

"Why does it matter!" I shouted, lifting my head up to glare at her. "I'm going to die anyway so why give a damn?! Death by wolf, death by vampire, death by some dumb disease, I don't care! I don't see why you care."

"Because, you matter," she stated simply, reaching over to give my leg a gentle pat and then standing.

She took the keycard from Peter and bid her goodbyes, saying it was her turn to go hunt. I was barely listening, just thinking about what she'd told me before she left. I knew I was at a stalemate with this.

They weren't going to take me home until the coast was one-hundred percent clear, and there was no way I could escape the room. I'd seen how fast they were, they'd have me caught if I so much as breathed on the doorknob.

I had to deal with the cards I was dealt, even if they'd been handed to me by a weird, psychic vampire.

"So, what's your weird power?" I asked when Peter finally hung up the phone with Alice. "She said it lead you to me. Do you see weird shit, too?"

He chuckled, pocketing his phone and pulling out the desk chair to sit in. "Nah. I got a weird gift for just knowin' shit. I don't question it, really. It's just like a really strong gut feeling that'll give me ideas on what to do or where to go. It hasn't lead me wrong, yet, so I've learned to just do whatever I feel."

"That's really creepy," I pointed out.

He raised a brow. "How's it creepy?"

"Oooo," I crowed in the worst Romanian accent I could, wiggling my fingers at him. "I have such a strong _feeling_ about you my dear!"

"You should meet the real Romanian coven and start throwin' that accent around," Peter chuckled. "You might just trick 'em."

"There are real Romanian vampires?" I laughed, shaking my head. "Of course, there is."

Peter nodded. "Yup. I heard that it was them who inspired Bram Stoker's writing. But I've also heard Bram Stoker himself was a vampire, but I haven't met the fellow myself. It was all misleadin', of course. Three fourths the stuff doesn't actually apply to real vampires."

I snapped my fingers. "Damn, and here I was about to pull out a stake on you."

He laughed. "Nope, you'd just break it. Stakes, crosses, holy water, garlic. All that crap is fake."

Peter and I spent the next hour talking about vampires. He explained to me how they were all fast, strong, agile, and graceful to a fault. All these perks made them look strange in human crowds, so they had to tone it down in public. Slouch occasionally even though perfect posture didn't ache them a bit, stumble a bit, walk sluggishly sometimes, and keep their strength and speed toned down to a human level. Which, for them, was like a turtle's pace for the rest of us. They had tough skin, which only other vampires and supernatural creatures could penetrate.

"Wait, wait, wait," I stopped him. "You don't burn in the sunlight?"

"Nope," he said, leaning back in the chair so that the front legs lifted up. "Something happens, but I ain't tellin' ya what. You can figure that out yourself."

"Rude," I scoffed.

He smirked at me, and soon Charlotte came back. She got to work pulling out some of the food from the minifridge and stuck a frozen meal into the microwave for me.

They were talking again, their heads tilted close to each other and much too quiet for me to hear. It was irksome, but what could I do. I obviously wasn't going anywhere any time soon, so I'd have to get used to their vampiric quirks.

I couldn't stop thinking about why. Why they were doing this, why they cared. Charlotte said it was because, simply, "I mattered." And that struck me a bit deeper than the rest of this. I mean all of this supernatural stuff was a lot to take in, especially all wrapped up in one day. But, I had to roll with it. I had no choice.

I ate, and utterly worn out, both mentally and physically. I was sure that it hadn't been long, maybe just a few hours, but the hotel clock was telling me that it was three in the morning. All of this unloaded on me in such a short time had me actually feeling like I needed to just _sleep_.

Crawling under the covers, I huddled under the mass of blankets and shut my eyes. I laid there for a good half-hour tossing and turning, before finally groaning in aggravation and sitting up in the bed. Peter and Charlotte stopped talking and stared at me curiously.

"Can't sleep?" Peter drawled, kicking back in the desk chair again.

I rubbed my eyes, exhausted. "No, never. I can be so exhausted, where I feel like I can't stand, but sleep doesn't come. It's like it teases me. It only comes at the most random times of night."

"Hmm.. I know someone who could probably make ya sleep," Peter said, grinning as Charlotte threw him a warning glare.

"I don't take any sleeping meds, thanks though," I mumbled, laying my head in my hands and drumming my fingers against the mattress.

Charlotte smiled at me gently, and flashed over to my bag. She rummaged through it, and produced the book I'd been in the middle of reading. Cover, pages, and bookmark perfectly intact like I'd last left them.

"Thought you might need this," she chimed, chuckling as I greedily snatched the book from her hands. "We packed some of the handheld video games you had. I know it will be hard staying here away from your family, so I tried to get stuff that would help entertain you."

I gave her an appreciative smile. "Thanks, Charlotte."

"Call me Char," she told me, smiling. "And if you need more books just let me know, I can always stop by the library for you."

Oh, great. I was guessing that meant I wasn't going to see the light of day in a long time. I suppose that Bella and Charlie would start trying to look for me, at least for a while. And if there was even the slightest of chances they could find me here, I knew that Peter and Charlotte weren't about to let me outside anytime soon.

* * *

Two weeks.

I counted. I'd been here, in this stupid hotel room, for two solid weeks. Not that it was that bad, if I was honest. I couldn't have gotten better kidnappers. Peter and Charlotte were very fun to be around most of the time. Hell, I barely even remembered that they weren't human half the time until one of them started walking or talking too fast.

Peter told me a lot about vampires, except for whatever happened to them in the sun. He still would tell me I just needed to see that for myself. I was beginning to suspect it was either something really stupid or something really awesome.

At one point I grilled him about a bunch of small details about my room, to see if vampire memory really was all he chalked it up to be. To my shock, he got everything right. Right down to the small notch in the doorframe from Charlie knocking the bed frame against it when he was turning the room into a bedroom for me.

He also knew a lot about history, and movies. He'd even started bringing movies in from the Redbox down stairs, and he would watch them with me on the hotel TV whenever Charlotte hunted. If we watched a movie that had _any_ sort of history to it, he had a habit of loudly correcting the facts.

Charlotte was a lot of help when I felt like I needed to talk. It took me a few days to really begin feeling comfortable with the two, but Charlotte's personality helped me a lot. She was very open with me, and would sit up talking with me whenever I couldn't sleep at night.

She liked reading, as well. Not just the history books that Peter liked, but even some of the young adult stuff that I would ask for when she'd go to library. She liked mystery books the best, and while they weren't my favorite, it was still fun to have another bibliophile around to talk to. A lot of times, she would end up reading the books she got me after I was done with them.

They were an odd couple. They were very sweet together, don't get me wrong, but something about their relationship seemed a lot more intense than anything I'd ever seen before. It's like there was an invisible tether that kept them constantly bound, and they moved in a synchronization that was almost dizzying.

It was easy to see they were completely and full infatuated with one another. They were fun to be around, though. They showed almost as much interest in me that I showed in them.

Both of them were utterly confused by my 3DS. Peter asked me if I could play Call of Duty on it, and I had to sit him down and have a long talk about how the consoles, games, and the companies that made them worked. He was pretty interested in watching me play Legend of Zelda on it, seeing all the little adventures and side stuff you could do around the main quest.

It got to the point that I finally asked him if he wanted to try and made him a save on the second profile. When I wasn't playing, he usually was.

"Okay, this is bullshit," Peter cursed from across the room.

"What're you stuck on now?" I asked, not looking up from my book. I was just about to find out if the female lead was going to recover her memory and realize that the man she was married to was indeed not her real husband, but some evil lord that'd been chasing her for years.

"This Water temple!" he said, and cursed again. "I don't get all this water raising and lowering crap."

I rolled my eyes. "Look it up on your phone if you're that stuck. There are hundreds of guides on the internet for that game."

"No, that feels all dirty," he sighed. "I wanna do it myself."

"Maybe do something else then?" I said, tucking my book away finally when I got through some of the juicier story parts. "Sometimes stopping and getting a fresh mind helps."

Peter turned the device off, and set it on the desk with a groan. He stretched his shoulders, and looked at me curiously. I raised a brow, and he looked away, shrugging. He looked at the window, which was open and showing off the cloudy afternoon sky that hung-over Port Angeles.

"I'm going to shower," I told him, and got up from my bed.

His crimson eyes watched me as I padded over to the small hotel closet and pulled out some clothes. He had his eyes narrowed, like I'd just said something puzzling.

"Can I play some music on your phone?" I asked him, ignoring the weird look on his face and holding my hand out for the device.

Both of them had let me download music onto their phones, which was a saving grace for me since I was cooped up in the same room twenty-four seven.

While they still turned on a child-lock, meaning I couldn't do anything aside from things they unlocked without their password, I enjoyed the music. Though it irritated me knowing they were going to such lengths to keep me from messaging anyone, I knew that it was probably for the best. I couldn't exactly call my family and tell them that I was kidnapped by extremely friendly vampires.

Personally, I didn't even trust myself. If I'd been able, I would've messaged Bella a long time ago to let her know that I was okay.

I watched Peter turn on the child lock, and took the phone once he'd handed it to me. I walked into the bathroom and threw my clothes onto the floor, and turned on the shower. I started navigating the phone until I found my music, and connected it to the small Bluetooth speaker he'd brought after one of his hunts, projecting the music over the sound of the shower.

" _Living easy, living free  
Season ticket on a one-way ride  
Asking nothing, leave me be  
Taking everything in my stride  
Don't need reason, don't need rhyme_"

I sang along, peeling off my socks and frowning as I felt a small wave of nausea. It went away the second I stood back up, and I shrugged it off.

My left leg was feeling cold and tingly again, and I was quick to unclothe and hop into the hot shower. I sighed as the warmth spread across my skin and I was quick to start running shampoo through my hair. Taking care of my hair was the only thing I really found relaxing, since it was the only part of me that didn't look dead.

I felt a bit more of nausea begin to build in my stomach, and I frowned. I leaned against the shower wall, trying to block everything out to assess my body. Something felt weird, something felt wrong. I had an awful, tangy taste sticking to my tongue, no matter how much water I swashed around and spat out.

My ears started to ring, softly at first, and I heard Peter knock on the door.

"Gwen? Ya' alright?"

I put my hand out against the wall of the shower. I tried to answer but I had the feeling that if I opened my mouth, I'd vomit. I gagged a few times, dryly, and shook my head. I tried to straighten up, but my whole body was shivering.

Next thing I remember, I was on the shower floor.

I was gasping, I could feel it, but all I heard was ringing. It was like someone had just unplugged the sound of all life, and I was left with the gaping empty silence ringing through my skull, nearly splitting it in two. I was blacking out, and I felt unsettlingly cold as it all started to fade away.

Last thing I remember hearing was, through the silence, the sound of splitting wood and a phone ringing, and then from there it was total darkness.

 _I'm on the highway to hell  
On the highway to hell  
Highway to hell  
I'm on the highway to hell_

* * *

 **Alice Cullen**

* * *

We were so close. I knew we were. Edward was slowly coming around a bit more, opening himself up to us a bit more often. He wasn't always staying up in his room, but even when he sat in the family room with us, he did nothing. He didn't dare touch his piano, so it still sat in the corner with a white sheet drawn over it.

When I'd returned, Jasper had tried cornering me on several occasions. He was becoming more restless and relentless about the heart pains he was experiencing. In my heart, I had a good idea of what was causing them, but I didn't tell him.

Edward's eyes floated to me, looking at me curiously as he heard my thoughts.

I had been letting him see bits and pieces of Gwen in my head, and he seemed to understand that she was Jasper's mate. That she was important. Luckily for me, he also didn't say anything. I think he knew, deep in his heart, that if Jasper went for Gwen, he would also need to return to Bella.

Edward shook his head at me silently, looking grim.

I pursed my lips at him, angrily.

I thought of what Gwen had told me when we'd spoken on the phone a couple weeks ago. _"So, you're saying you could see Bella sitting in her room for months like a damn zombie and that wasn't enough to motivate you all to come home? Cause if you really cared about her, that should've sent you running back instantly,"_ she'd snarled.

Edward flinched. It was the first time he'd seen that piece of her, and I could tell it struck a deep chord within him.

 _Good._

"Okay, this mental chat is a little annoying," Emmett huffed from his spot on the love seat, sitting curled up with Rosalie while she leafed through a fashion magazine.

"You're tellin' me," Jasper scoffed angrily from the kitchen, where he'd been sitting at the bar, reading.

"Edward," I said, out loud. "I want to show you something."

He glared at me, because he knew it had to be about Bella. He opened his mouth to retort, but all the noise died in his throat as I replayed my vision to him.

 _Gwen's dark amber eyes glittered with unshed tears as she looked at Bella, who stared back up at her with a nervous look on her face. Gwen's eyes were in the middle of changing from her crimson newborn pair, showing she'd been living a diet just like ours._

 _She no longer looked emaciated and on the verge of death. No, she was a woman, molded back into health and into beauty with the vampire venom that'd ended up saving her life. She had filled back out into herself, and it was stunning to see how different she looked. It was like looking at a totally different person from the sick girl I'd been seeing since the beginning of all of this._

 _She looked over her shoulder, at Jasper._

 _Jasper stood in the doorway, his face blank but a gentle smile on her face. He hovered, but nodded to her in reassurance._

" _You can do it, angel," he supported. "I know you can."_

" _I'm nervous," she said, and Bella snorted loudly, making Gwen glare back down at her._

 _Bella chuckled at the look on her cousin's face. "You're not allowed to be the one nervous, you're not the one laying here waiting for the ultimate change."_

" _What if I eat you?" Gwen rambled, nearly hysterical with unshed tears. "I can feel the burn even now!"_

 _Jasper walked into the room and hooked his arm over her shoulder. She tucked herself into his side, sighing softly. I could tell her was probably calming her nerves with his power, giving her the strength she needed._

 _Bella smiled up at the two. "I trust you guys. I know you wouldn't let anything happen to me, Gwen."_

 _Gwen gave Bella a gentle smile, and then crawled onto the bed next to her. She kneeled over Bella and bent over her neck, her face pained. I could see the turmoil brewing in her, but as Jasper placed a hand on her shoulder, she found her strength._

 _Her teeth tore into Bella's neck, and Jasper quickly bit Bella on both wrists, showing no signs of struggle as he let his venom enter Bella's body. Gwen pulled away after she'd let enough venom soak into the open wound, jumping back across the room like she'd been burned._

"NO!"

Edward stood and threw the chair he'd been sitting on at me. I held up my arm, the wooden chair shattering against it like glass upon the impact.

Everyone stood up, cautiously, watching as we finally started communicating out loud.

I glared at him, brushing wood chips off my top.

"It's in every path," I told him, shaking my head at him. "If you don't decide to come back, or decide not to change her, Gwen will. You won't have any say in it, because if you try to stop them, they just end up taking Bella away to change her far enough away from you that you won't be able to stop it in time. And she is willing, she wants it, whether you agree or not."

Edward fell to his knees, shaking his head. "This isn't what I wanted!"

"Did you ever stop and ask what she wanted instead, you ass!" I shouted back at him, snapping in anger. "You never once stopped to think about that, did you?! You spent so much time just assuming you knew what's best for her that you didn't take her own opinions into consideration. Your mate, my _sister,_ was dying, Edward, because of you! If Gwen hadn't come along, she would've perished from the pain!"

"Stop," he whispered, and I went quiet.

The family was standing around us, and no one moved. Rose was giving me a look of appreciation, happy that someone aside from her was finally telling Edward what was what. But, I couldn't just keep sugar coating everything for him and let him skate through it all pretending to be blind. He knew he'd done wrong, and now he had no choice.

Unless he wanted to try and patch things up while Bella was both faster _and_ stronger than him, he'd need to make a choice.

Edward flinched as I showed him how angry Bella would be with him. She'd actually rip his arm off and throw it over the river near the house at one point, and she wouldn't let him hunt with her for the first few months of her new life. It took a long time for her to trust her mate. Even though all of her instincts craved him, just like any mate bond worked, she could remember and feel the pain of what he did to her and it left her confused, and angry. If he didn't patch things up before the change, Bella would hold a grudge against him for even longer.

I was thankful I'd had the time to get away from the family, otherwise I'd never have these cards up my sleeve.

"Okay, okay," Edward sighed. "I… I'll think about it. I need to collect my thoughts."

I opened my mouth, but Jasper quickly cut in, looking suspicious.

"Who's Gwen?" he drawled slowly, his eyes piercing right through me.

Everything paused, and I felt myself getting thrown head first into a vision before I could even try to bypass Jasper's question.

 _Gwen was holding herself against the side of the shower, trembling like she was cold even though there was plenty of steam coming off of the water. She looked like she was about to wretch, and suddenly her eyes rolled back into her head._

 _She slipped to the floor, and began to convulse._

My phone was in my hand before I could even see clearly outside of my sight, and I was dialing Peter without even thinking.

"What do you want, pixie! Now ain't a good time," he growled angrily, and I could hear the shower running still in the room.

Jasper's brows rose in surprise at the sound of his friend on the other line, and he glared at me. I knew I was officially caught, but I hoped Jasper would understand once everything was completely explained.

"How is she?" I asked quickly.

"You fucking know!" he spat. "She's having a damn seizure."

I heard Charlotte in the background, and she took the phone from Peter. "Alice? What happened to her?"

"I don't know, I only saw her slip and start shaking," I told her, ignoring the accusing looks from Jasper and the curious ones from the rest of the family. "We need to get her to Carlisle, we can't ignore this any longer. I think it's getting worse."

" _No shit!"_ Peter growled in the background.

"He's just mad because she's become his friend," Charlotte assured me, and I smiled softly. "Okay, okay, she's stopping. I think she's just blacked out now. Peter, switch me so I can get her dry and clothed."

"Where are we meeting?" Peter asked simply, once he'd taken the phone from his mate and walked into the next room. "It's about time Doc Vamp took a look at this."

I glanced at Edward, and he gave me a defeated nod, his face grim. Even though he was reluctant to go back, to "damn" Bella, he didn't want to see Gwen keep suffering. He knew from the glimpses in my mind that she was Jasper's mate, and knew as well as I did that once Jasper found all this out things were going to hit the fan.

"Forks," I told him. "We'll leave in the Mercedes tonight; the rest of the family will follow after packing up the house. I'll text you once we're in Forks. You need to drive, not run, or the wolves will stop you."

Rosalie groaned and Emmett rubbed her shoulder comfortingly, but looked very curious. "Good god, Alice. What have you got us all tangled into now?!"

I hung up with Peter, and Jasper opened his mouth, his brows furrowed. I shushed him. "Not now, we have to hurry."

Edward shuffled, then sighed. "I'll start packing up the furniture. You all go ahead… I need to think about what I'm going to say to Bella…"

Emmett threw his fists up into the air, cheering loudly. "We're going back?! Hell yes!"

"Emmett," Esme scolded, but she had a smile on her face.

Carlisle was watching me, his brow raised. He'd heard the whole conversation, obviously, but now I knew he was curious as to why we needed his doctoring abilities. That, and he was probably just as curious as the others as to why I'd been in contact with Peter behind Jasper's back.

I smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of my neck in embarrassment. "I know, I know. I have a lot of explaining to do. Can we get going, first? Jas, you come, too."

"You weren't going to have a choice on that," he stated, folding his arms over his chest. "And you better start spilling, Alice. You've been hiding a lot from us."

I sighed. "I know, I know. But can we at least get on the road? She needs us!"

Carlisle was the first to move. He dealt out duties to the rest of the house, to get everything packed as quickly as they could, and to start the move back to Forks. He saw no resistance in his first son, so he was free to make the commands without stepping on toes.

Jasper stood by me at the door while Carlisle collected some of his medical supplies. I felt very nervous, because I could feel that he was angry with me. I didn't want to be trapped in a vehicle with him, but I had no choice. We needed to get to Gwen. Even if this seizure was minor, it was time someone with the best experience looked at her health, and it was time that Jasper met his mate.

Carlisle nearly reached the door, when he stopped in front of Edward. Edward looked a bit lost, like he didn't know what he was doing. I don't think he had the slightest clue how he was going to mend things with Bella.

Carlisle placed a hand on Edward's shoulder, giving a gentle squeeze. "Do the right thing, son. I should've stopped you from your decision in the first place, but it felt wrong to intrude on your choices with your mate. I can see now that I was wrong, and I should've intervened."

"I'm sorry, Carlisle," Edward sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I'm not the one you need to apologize to," Carlisle told him, and then left with Jasper and I out into the night.

Soon we were packed into the Mercedes and on the road. I let Jasper sit in the front, it made me feel a little better putting some space between us. I felt my heart aching, knowing that the time was coming. This could even make him hate me, I realized. He was not always the gentle man I knew, and I'd seen with my own eyes what happened when he let his control go.

"Who is this girl, Alice?" Carlisle asked, finally, after we'd gotten away from the house.

Jasper straightened up a little, but didn't turn to look at me. I could only see his eyes in the passenger door window, and they were staring straight ahead at the road.

"She's Bella's cousin," I told him, softly. "She came a few months after we left. From what Peter and I have gathered, she's got some unknown illness. She spent a lot of time in hospitals with no result, so she was basically given a time frame to live and sent home.

"Peter's power lead him to Forks, and he and Charlotte started staying in Port Angeles because the wolves of this generation have started shifting, so they couldn't get close.

"Peter and Charlotte both say that she smells different. Like she's almost got a vampire smell, but still human. Peter said he had an idea, but he wasn't able to confirm it last I checked in. It was the reason they had to swoop in and take her, actually. I had a vision, and the wolves were arguing. They wanted to take her out because she smelled like a vampire, but some were fighting the decision and trying to save her."

Carlisle let out a breath through his nose. "This sounds messy, Alice. How are you sure that the wolves won't come once they realize we're all there?"

"I don't," I admitted. "But they'll have to honor the treaty as long as it stands unbroken. We haven't fed on humans, or bit anyone in Forks. If we return, we'll just take our side of the territory back and let the wolves wonder what's happening."

My phone started ringing, and I saw Peter's name flashing across the screen. Before I could even swipe to answer, Jasper held his hand out from the front seat.

One look at his face, and I gave him my phone. I knew that he hated being in the dark about stuff like this. The wolves were a potential danger, and he didn't like the idea that the new generation had started phasing. Let alone that his friends ran through their territory and kidnapped a human.

" _Pixie, we're ready to go, but I wanted to let ya' know-"_

"Peter," Jasper interrupted, his voice scarily calm.

" _I had a feeling I'd be talkin' to ya' sometime soon, brother,"_ Peter said, after a short moment of recovery.

"You've been hiding shit from me, Peter," Jasper accused, but sighed. "What's made you decide to take care of a human? Get a feeling about that, yet?"

" _Uhh… Right. I do know, Major. But I can't just spill the beans to you over the phone, it'll cause all hell to break lose. Plus, I don't want an angry pixie after my ass,"_ Peter explained, and I nearly sighed with relief.

"Peter," Jasper warned.

" _No can do, Major. You can kick my ass later. Now, let me talk to the Doc. I'm assuming that you're on the road now, since you so nicely stole pixie's phone away,"_ Peter said, almost cheerfully.

Jasper growled deeply in his chest, but thrust the phone into Carlisle's opened palm. I got the feeling he was most likely going to take Peter up on that offer.

"Peter," Carlisle greeted. "What state is she in?"

" _Sleepin' right now,"_ Peter said, gruffly.

"Well, that's good, for now," Carlisle said. "Can you give me some details about her symptoms?"

" _Well, no, it's not that good, doc. She doesn't hardly sleep, ever. So this a little weird. Unless something's off, she's usually up a good portion of the night. She sleeps a little bit at certain times, but she barely gets half of what humans should need. It doesn't really affect her, aside from still feeling tired when she's awake._

" _She has difficulty keeping air flow, and she has ta' use a nebulizer regularly through the day and once in the night. She has an emergency inhaler for the times her breath suddenly leaves her, sometimes at random or if she's worked up._

" _She's also got pretty bad circulation, her foot goes numb a lot. The right one doesn't do that really, so it's a bit strange, but-"_

There was a rustle on his end, and I heard the phone go mute for a couple of seconds. Peter must've manually muted it, because the phone call was still connected.

We waited for a moment, and then Peter's voice came back.

" _Alrigh', now we're getting somewhere. I think I know what's up with her, doc. I had a good feeling but Char just confirmed it. When Char was getting her dry and out of the shower, she noticed something on her leg. She's got a vampire bite on her left leg, there's no mistaking it. Somehow, she got bit an' survived."_

"She was bitten and wasn't changed?" Carlisle murmured, his brows furrowing. "That… is nearly unheard of."

"Not with Bella," I piped up, feeling my heart clench for poor Gwen. "Remember? Edward sucked the venom out when James bit her and she was fine."

" _Well, what if whoever did the bitin' didn't get enough time to leave enough venom to change her, or have enough time to eat her for that matter, but left a little bit of vampire slobber behind. We know that when we change our mates and others, we use more venom to help speed up tha' change."_

"She's burning, slowly," Jasper answered, nodding with a agreement, even though Peter couldn't see him. "That would explain why no human doctor could figure out what was wrong with her, and why only that leg goes numb."

" _Bingo, Major."_

"I wonder why the vampire stopped," Carlisle mused, but then shook his head. "No matter, Peter I need to see her. We'll be there in a few hours. Once we get close enough we will let you know to leave and meet us back at our old home. Like Alice said, drive, don't run, and go around La Push."

" _Aw, but I wanted to have fun with the mutts again,"_ Peter complained, and there was a loud whack. _"Fine, Char, damn! You're abusive, you know that, woman?"_

" _Shut up, Peter, or you'll wake her! Don't make me steal one of your fingers again."_

Jasper couldn't help but chuckle at the two, shaking his head. "Alright, alright. You two watch the girl, we'll be there soon."

I couldn't believe he hadn't put it together. I was expecting him to realize it in some sort of epiphany, almost. He surely didn't believe I just brought him along because Peter and Charlotte were involved, did he?

Carlisle, however, was looking at me in the rearview mirror. He gave me a curious look, and I nodded at him subtly. His lips pursed, but then he handed the phone back to me once Peter and Charlotte hung up the phone.

I let out a huge sigh, worried for the girl. What an awful thing, to be subtly burning for years and just thinking your body was dying. But, it would be okay, soon. Jasper would see her and understand it all, and we could make her change quicker.

It sounded so simply in my head, when I put it that way, but I knew that it was going to be anything but.

The next few days were going to be very, very messy.

* * *

 **So, here it is! I'm hoping the next update won't take me as long. I just got in a rut with it and then topped with my work situation, I didn't feel like doing a single thing. Sorry about that, guys! Hope you still enjoyed it!**

 **Thank you so much to all the people who reviewed, followed, and favorited the story. I appreciate every single one of you and your support!**


	11. Chapter 11

**This chapter was exciting to write.**

 **The quote for the chapter is actually a song from the Witcher 3 Game. It's very good, but not modern. Take a listen if that's interesting to you!**

 **Enjoy!  
**

* * *

Chapter 11

* * *

 _"These scars long have yearned for your tender caress_

 _To bind our fortunes, damn what the stars own_

 _Rend my heart open, then your love profess_

 _A winding, weaving fate to which we both atone"_

 _\- Priscilla, The Wolven Storm, Witcher 3_

* * *

"This sucks so much," I rasped from the backseat, then leaned over to vomit in the bucket on the floor next to me.

Charlotte was turned in the passenger seat, her beautiful face folded into a frown as she held back my hair for me. "Oh, sweetheart, I know. We will be there soon, I promise."

My whole body felt like it'd had a bad sunburn, only that it was beneath my skin. My blood felt warm, boiling inside my veins, and my skin was itching like crazy from the fire raging underneath. On top of it all, the dinner I'd made myself earlier was coming back in waves, and even once all of that was gone I was just throwing up spit and bile.

I'd never had this bad of an episode before, nor had I ever had a seizure. I was actually terrified of my body, terrified of what pain I would feel next. I feared I was dying.

 _I just want to see my family one last time, please._

Charlotte opened a water bottle and tipped some into my mouth, watching sadly as I swished it around to clean my mouth and then spat it into the bucket.

I lay back on the leather seat, panting softly as I tried to catch my breath up again. I ran my hands over my face, relishing in the coldness that lingered in my fingers. I pressed them against my warm cheeks until the coldness faded, and I was left to the heat once more.

"It's so hot in here," I groaned, punching the back of the seat in frustration.

Peter piped up from the front. "I'm sorry, little one, the AC is on high, I promise."

"I meant in my skin," I cried, reaching up and taking two fistfuls of my hair.

I clutched, feeling my scalp protest in pain as I tugged. I let out a gasp as I felt my body give a mighty convulsion as a spasm of pain rocked through me. "I feel like I'm getting boiled."

Charlotte gently took my hands in hers, and I let her untangle them from my hair. She was leaning into the back of the rental car, not at all buckled into her seat despite the fact that Peter was probably going over the speed limit.

"Here, Gwen," she whispered, pressing her cold hands against my forehead.

I let out a long sigh of relief, leaning into her touch. "Thanks, Char. I don't know what's happening. It's never been this bad before."

"Carlisle will be able to help," Peter said, and his eyes glanced at me nervously through the rear-view mirror. "He's got good experience with humans and vampires. He's been doing doctoring his whole life, if anyone can help, he can."

"Incoming," I whispered, pushing Char's hands out of the way so I could lean back over the throw up bucket.

Both vampires winced as they heard me retching into the bucket, and sobs started to wrack through me. I was an utter mess of vomit, snot, and tears. Crying because it hurt, crying because it was so damn _unfair_.

"I wish I was normal," I trailed off, my voice rasping from the burning in my throat.

Charlotte helped clean up my face and let me rinse out my mouth again. "Don't say that, you're fine as you are. You just need help."

I stared at her, my eyes watering. "I'm going to die, Char. I can feel it. It's coming."

"Don't say that," Peter snapped, glancing from me to Char. "We won't let that happen. Jus' keep breathin' through it."

It was hard to just tell yourself to stop and breathe, especially when your body felt like it was falling apart. But I managed it. I slowly caught my breath, knowing I couldn't take any more of my inhaler for a few hours. Eventually, my breathing slowed and I was able to take a breath without feeling it catch in my chest.

Slowly, the burning was receding. I felt less itchy, less volatile. My stomach began to untangle itself from the knotted mess it'd become. My tears, however, didn't stop along with the pain. I felt like I was finally starting to lose grip on myself.

My body was finally starting the full downward spiral, the last stretch. I knew that my time had to be coming to a stop.

"You feeling a little better, sweetheart?" Charlotte asked, having been watching the entire time from the passenger seat.

I wiped the tears from my face, forcing myself to stomp out my pity party. "I'm okay, the pain's going away now. I don't know what that was."

"I have an idea," Peter muttered from the front, letting out a tense sigh himself. "Jesus, that was intense."

"You're telling me," I mused, running my hands through my hair.

I hadn't caught a break at all since when I'd had my seizure earlier in the night. The second I'd gained consciousness the burning beneath my skin had started, and it'd been so intense that I'd started vomiting up all the food I'd eaten. Peter and Charlotte had to try and keep me calm in the hotel until they got whatever text they'd been waiting on.

Getting me into the car had been an episode in itself.

Charlotte suddenly narrowed her eyes, and turned around in her seat. She rolled her window down more, letting in a rush of the night air. Both she and Peter stiffened in the front seat, like they'd just seen a ghost.

"Peter," Charlotte hissed.

"I smell it," he mumbled, and I could see his eyes darting from side to side to watching the trees on either side of us.

"What's going on?" I nagged, feeling an unnatural shiver of fear roll down my spine.

Peter suddenly cursed, letting go of the wheel. "Hang on!"

There was a loud boom, and suddenly we were rolling. Something had hit the car at top speed, T-boning us nearly as fast as we'd been going, if not faster. I could hear the screeching and crunching of metal upon the impact, and then everything was spinning like a kaleidoscope.

I think I was screaming. I remember stupidly worrying about whether Peter and Charlotte were okay, but reminded myself that a human crash wouldn't even scratch them. It was myself I should've been worrying about. I'd never gotten the chance to sit up and put on my seat belt, but I didn't know if it would've even helped in that situation.

At one point I hit my head, I'm not sure if it was on the roof of the car or on the driver seat, but it hurt like hell and sent stars flying across my vision.

We came to a stop, flipped upside down. I was laid across the roof of the car, surrounded by glass. I couldn't breathe, again, and my head felt fuzzy. White dots littered across my eyes as I struggled to come to. Peter and Charlotte were nowhere to be seen.

Something warm and wet was trickling down my forehead, nearly into my eye.

Charlotte was suddenly back in the car, crouched in the glass next to me, and I noticed, faintly, that her eyes were pitch black. You couldn't even make out what was and wasn't her pupil.

"Well, I know what it was like for Dorothy going through the tornado, now. We still in Kansas, boss lady?" I croaked at her, trying to make my new-found friend at least smile.

She looked at me, her eyes darting back and forth as she assessed my body. Her eyes lingered on my forehead for a moment, where blood was dripping down from my hairline.

It was only then I realized Peter was talking to someone somewhere outside of the car. He sounded very calm, but in a very terrifying sort of way. I'd never heard his voice so calm, humorless, and without any emotion.

Charlotte pulled out her phone, sent a message out quickly, and then began to help me out of the wreckage.

We'd been knocked clear off the road, down a small hill and into the woods. We'd hit a few trees on the way down into the small gully, but they'd been too thick and deep rooted to smash through. Instead of stopping, whatever'd pummeled into us had kept us going until we were past the tree line, out of sight from the highway.

Charlotte swept me into her arms the second I was on my feet, and I nearly protested. That was until I saw the woman, and then all words died in my throat.

She was standing on a felled tree that hung over the gully. Her hair was a tumbling mess of orange curls, her skin as pale as the moon hanging above, and her eyes a hell of a lot more crimson looking than my two friends, at least for the moment.

Peter had told me that sometimes vampires eyes will go black when they get into fights, or extremely angry. It was like the extra energy and attention directed towards that rage and anger brought forth took more out of them than normal.

Well, both of their eyes had gone nearly pitch black. I'd never seen them look so frightening before. Both of them were stiff as statues, and poised like they were ready to fight or run in just a seconds time. That, and I'd never seen their eyes so dark. I'd seen the redness in their eyes get pretty dulled, but never black.

I suddenly realized we were in a very, very bad situation.

"Like I said, you're messin' with the wrong people right now," Peter informed, his eyes glancing over to Char and I before he angled his body a bit more between us and the woman.

"Oh, really?" she purred, leaning down as though to examine us more closely.

Her red eyes met mine, and I felt a tremor roll down my spine. This wasn't a person. I'd seen the people in Peter and Charlotte, but this woman was not like that. At least not now. She was a full-blown monster, on the prowl and dangerous.

She smiled at me, and I felt myself grow cold. Everything about her was setting my senses on fire. I wanted to run away from her and her wicked beauty.

"Hello, Gwen," she greeted. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"Don't talk to her," Peter snapped. "She doesn't have a thing to do with you. I don't know what ya' got into your head, but you need ta' walk away."

She grinned, showing off two rows of perfect, white teeth. "Oh? Well, she may not know me, but I know _plenty_ of her. I've gathered enough to know what I need. I need her."

Peter shook his head. "I don't know what you're not getting here. Our friends are already on the way, and you'll want to be gone before they get here. I'm givin' ya the chance to walk away with your life."

She chuckled, shaking her head softly. All of a sudden, she was gone.

Peter moved, faster than I could see with my human eyes.

The woman appeared before him, and ducked gracefully he as swept forward with his arm. She grinned at him, like she were playing a game. He lunged for her, and soon the two were in a deadly dance, almost too fast for me to see.

Peter attacked like he'd been made for battle. I'd never seen anyone fight with such precision and purpose. Each hit should've been a near deadly blow to her, but the red-headed woman was too quick. She dodged each swing like she was batting away a fly, and even laughed at a couple of his attempts.

Oddly enough, she didn't try to hit him back. She was moving around him like a snake, poised to attack, up until she ducked under his arm once again and was suddenly running right for Charlotte and I.

"Char!" Peter growled in warning, diving after the woman.

Charlotte dropped me instantly, and an inhumanly loud growl came from her as she lunged over me, meeting the woman halfway. The woman tried to dodge, but Charlotte slammed right into her like a hellcat ready to claw her to pieces.

I hit the ground butt first, thankfully, and scrambled backwards, away from the fighting vampires.

Peter had just come from behind, to grab her arms, when she slipped out from between the two with what looked like near ease.

A chorus of howls suddenly rang out, piercing the cold night air.

 _The wolves._ I thought, fearfully. Would they help us, or would they try to pick up where they left off and kill me? Would that be better than this strange woman getting her hands on me? I had no idea what she even wanted from me, I'd never seen her before in my life.

"I don't have time for this!" she snapped, suddenly no longer enjoying her game of cat and mouse as she dodged around Peter and Charlotte in turn.

I scrambled back even further, until my back was pressed against the rental car. The side was destroyed, caved in to the point that the doors were hardly even hanging on at that point. It was like it'd been merely tinfoil in her way, not a full metal car.

 _I don't want to die like this. I almost prefer the heat._

I clutched at my chest, feeling a catch in my chest starting to form. This was all too much. My head hurt just watching them move so fast, and I was panicking. The wolves were coming, and this woman could get my friends killed. From what it sounded like, the wolves killed any vampires they came across.

If my friends got caught, even though they were defending me, there was a good chance we wouldn't get out alive.

* * *

 **Jasper Whitlock**

* * *

"They're late," I noted, looking at the clock on my phone.

Alice paced the dusty floor, her face nearly pained as she tried to search through the future. Carlisle and I watched her from the side of the room, neither of us really in the mood to uncover any of the old furniture we'd left behind. Carlisle had already had enough time to set up his equipment in his study and dust off some of his more important things.

Now, we were just waiting.

"I can't see anything!" Alice snapped, opening her eyes. "I saw them leaving, even if they went at the speed limit they should've been here by now!"

"Maybe they had to stop for Gwen?" Carlisle inquired, trying to calm Alice down. "You said she was sick when she woke, maybe they had to stop along the side of the road."

Alice shook her head, frustrated, when suddenly her phone beeped. She took it out so fast it nearly got flung across the room, but she gracefully kept hold and unlocked her phone to look at the message.

There was a moment of silence, and she let out a trembled breath. "Oh no…"

"What, Alice?" I asked, feeling the dread and horror washing over her as she read through the message.

Alice shook, and sprang forward. "They were stopped, just when they got close to Forks. A red headed vampire hit their car…"

"Victoria," I spat, instantly.

Carlisle stood straight, his face concerned. "Edward said he heard no thoughts of revenge coming from her. What is she doing so close to Forks?"

"Of course, she wants revenge," I told him, following Alice as she sprinted out the door. "We killed her damn mate. I told him we needed to go after her."

We took off in a sprint, first to the side of town opposite of La Push. It was the route we'd given Peter, so that they completely went around La Push and would enter Forks from the other side. That way they didn't get stopped, but it looked like that would've happened, regardless.

"But what does she want with Gwen, then? Wouldn't she go for Bella if she really wanted revenge?" Carlisle questioned, following closely behind and Alice and I tried to get on their trail.

I stopped, taking a deep breath of the night air, trying to smell something other than the pungent stink of wet dog. "Unless she hasn't been able to get to Bella. The wolves have been around. It's possible she's been waiting to strike for a while."

"Bella loves Gwen," Alice pointed out, her voice as worried as her emotions were projecting. "She could use her to lure Bella out, just like James did with that recording of Bella's mother. Only this time…"

"She'd actually have the real thing," Carlisle confirmed, horror visibly crossing over his face and passing through his emotions.

Something was hanging on the air, and I realized it was blood. Human blood. Oddly enough, it didn't call to me in the slightest. While it was still human, I could smell the slightest tinge of vampire mixed in. It was strange, like a musk that was trying to overpower the human smell. But the scent, as a whole, smelled like wet dirt after a fresh rain, bloomed tulips, and newly printed books.

It was crisp and fresh, and something about it was drawing me in.

"I smell Peter and Charlotte, this way!" Alice shouted, running forward.

I frowned, sniffing the air once more and realized she was right. I'd been so focused on the new smell that'd I'd not even recognized my friend's scents.

In the far distance, I heard the wolves howling. Obviously, they'd caught onto the scent of vampires. They didn't yet know we were back, so even though we were on our territory, they'd still end up crossing over.

My body steeled itself as it recognized Victoria's smell, the smell of the threat. I was ready to chase her down and end this once and for all. I'd told Edward he needed to learn not to leave loose ends, or it would come to bite him.

As we darted through the trees, we started to catch what was being said. I could hear my friends combating Victoria, but it sounded like she was putting up one hell of a fight. Or, at least, evading them like hell. That, I had to admit, took skill. I'd trained Peter and Charlotte myself, and they were no rookies in fights against other vampires.

It was impressive she could dodge even one of them, let alone both.

We weaved through the trees along the side of a gulley, and that was when we saw them. I could see flashes of Victoria's bright red hair as she swept around my friends. She moved fluidly, like her body just instinctually knew how to dodge and reel away from the blows.

I waited, my eyes searching for the perfect moment to strike. She had to be vulnerable, and I had to be quick. If she got enough time to realize we were here and so close, she'd sprint off.

I watched as her back turned towards us, a snarl leaving her as Charlotte nearly clawed her in the face. She gave a mighty push, and broke off from the fight. She was running for the wrecked car, whipping around once to throw Peter off as he dove for her in anger.

 _There._

* * *

 **Gwen Swan**

* * *

I wasn't going to be awake much longer.

I knew that, but I still fought against it. I wanted to make sure my friends were okay. I was worried for Peter and Charlotte. From what I'd seen from them, they were good fighters. At least, when they'd dodge the wolves before. I hadn't expected to meet someone who could take them both on and make it look almost easy.

My heart was racing in my chest as my eyes struggled to keep sight of the fight. They were nearly blurs they were moving so fast.

Charlotte almost had her, raking her hand forward so fast that the woman nearly got her face caught. She snarled at her, then butted between her and Peter, and took off towards me in a dead sprint. She twirled as Peter lunged for her, and was getting very, very close.

My eyes were closing. I didn't know if I was shutting them so I didn't have to look at my coming doom, or because I couldn't keep them up any longer.

 _I'm going to die._

I heard something, and my eyes snapped open in time just to see three figures dart out from the trees.

A figure caught Victoria by the midsection, trying to grapple her. His back was to me, his arm pressed firmly around her hip as he tried to get his other arm around her. She screeched like an angry mountain lion, tossing against the man fiercely.

I saw a flurry of motion as she flipped over his arm finally, her eyes nearly black. She hissed at him as he continued to attack, her form crouched lowly against the ground. She looked from him, to me, and to the rest of the vampires standing in the clearing.

Clearly outnumbered, she ran, dodging him against he went for her another time.

Peter and Charlotte dove for her, and the unknown man spun around, nearly about to chase her down with them.

Honey blond hair flipped over his shoulder as he flung himself around, and I found two dark, golden eyes staring back into mine. He stopped dead in his tracks, his whole body looking like he'd just hit a brick wall, and Peter and Charlotte ran past him to chase after the woman.

His eyes were like liquid gold, piercing right through mine and into my soul. His face was struck, like he'd just had all the wind knocked out of him, but he was still utterly gorgeous. Something inside of my navel tugged, gently. His stare was intense, and oddly intimate feeling.

 _I think I found a new favorite color._

I chuckled softly at my sleepy thought, and felt myself beginning to slump against the crushed car. At least if I ended up dying, my last image of life would be such a gorgeous looking man.

* * *

 **Jasper Whitlock**

* * *

When my eyes met hers, the situation changed a whole hell of a lot.

I watched as her eyes, beautiful brown eyes, were hidden from me as she slipped into unconsciousness. Her body sagged, and I looked from her, to the trees where Peter and Charlotte had just chased Victoria through. I could hear them chasing after us, and I waited until I could no longer hear Victoria's steps before I dared to look back down at the girl.

It was then that something inside of me snapped, and the beast inside was breaking its chains.

 _ **Keep her safe**_

 _ **Human**_

 _ **Injured**_

 _ **Mate**_

 _ **Injured**_

 _ **Fragile**_

I surged forward, ignoring Carlisle and Alice as they attempted to speak to me. I was listening to the instincts inside urging me to protect her, I _needed_ to protect her. I scooped the girl up into my arms. She fit into my arms almost perfectly, like she belonged there. For a moment, I admired that. But I noticed then how awful she looked, how fragile and human she was. And sick.

 _We're not safe here._

I did the only thing I could do at the moment, and that was run from the threat. I couldn't let anything happen to her, she was human and very weak. The wolves were on their way, and while I loved my friends and my family, I couldn't let anything happen to the girl. She was what was the most important then.

Before I knew it, we were at the old house in the room I'd used an office and library. All my instincts were running haywire, and I had kicked the front door down in frustration when I couldn't quite get the knob to turn how I needed it too. I didn't care, we'd have the whole top floor in case anyone was to follow and try to intervene.

I could take them out easily and keep her safe.

Gently, I laid the girl down on my old couch after brushing off some of the dust. Her breathing was shallow, but she was breathing and that was a good sign.

My eyes surveyed over her small form several times, looking for anymore injuries. Aside from some minor bruises and scratches, it seems that the injury on her head had been the worst part of the whole ordeal.

 _ **Mate**_

 _ **Fragile**_

 _ **Human**_

 _ **Bite**_

I shook my head, racing down stairs to the kitchen. I grabbed a cloth and wet it in the sink. I was surprised that it worked. I knew it had to have been Alice's doing. She must've called the town couple days ago and got the water and power running. Like always, she'd been prepared for our arrival back.

I was back upstairs in an instant, and gently started dabbing at the blood caked to the girl's forehead.

She stirred a little, letting out a soft sigh as the cool rag touched her skin.

My dead heart gave a leap, and I swallowed heavily. I'd never felt everything so intensely before.

 _Jesus Christ._

I got the blood washed off, and I threw the rag away without a care. After that, I sat on the floor next to the couch and watched my mate sleep. There were millions of questions burning inside of me, some meant for her and hell of a lot that were going to be for Alice, but my main purpose then was to watch and make sure she was okay.

Her heart beat oddly, different from other humans. It was working a lot harder to pump her blood, racing to keep up with her struggling organs.

A feeling of content radiated off of her, but there were hints of pain around the edges. I could feel the tiredness that radiated off of her, even as she slept.

I listened carefully, waiting tensely. If it sounded even close to giving up or failing, I'd have to change her. It didn't give up, though, just continued to pump and work. I wondered what was giving her weak body the strength to keep going on, and I remember the musky vampire smell that hung over her own.

Eyes narrowing, I leaned forward and was about to touch her skin, to see if she felt as cold as we did, when I heard four people approaching. Four vampires, racing fast towards the house.

 _ **PROTECT**_

A loud growl thundered out of my chest in warning, and the girl whimpered in her sleep. I ran my hand through her hair, instinctually, as I listened to the four approaching the house stop dead in their tracks.

"Jasper," one female said, softly. "We won't hurt her, you know that."

"You're not talkin' to the man, pixie," a male drawled, voice calm. "You're talkin' to the vampire. Tread carefully."

I growled, lower this time so I wouldn't disturb the girl sleeping next to me. They needed to leave. I'd come out and rip them to pieces if they so much as breathed on the threshold. I would take all four of them on if I had to.

"Son," another male voice soothed, and my ears pricked. "I need to look her over. She's hurt."

I said nothing, my eyes trained on the floor as I listened to them. They weren't moving, but I was ready.

"She needs stitches for that head wound, Major," the other voice drawled once more. "Unless you're about to start patchin' her up yourself, ya need to let the good doctor in. Just him, if that makes ya' feel better."

 _ **Doctor**_

 _ **Carlisle**_

 _ **Father**_

 _ **Good**_

My growls softened for a moment, as I considered this. I knew how to stitch wounds, I wasn't inept. But Carlisle was old and wise, both as a vampire and as a doctor. He could help fix her completely, would have solutions for her slow coming vampirism. He always had good intentions.

"Come," I told him, allowing him into the house.

I spoke no louder than a whisper, but I knew he heard me perfectly.

The beast inside me snarled, listening to him cautiously approach the house. He walked in, past the door I'd broken on my way in. Thankfully, the others didn't try to follow him. They hovered around in the front yard, but made no noise as Carlisle traveled deeper into the house. They were listening for him just as intently as I was, probably in case I decided to attack him.

He slowly opened the door to my room, and my eyes snapped to him.

He smiled, gently. "Jasper, may we take her to my office? Most of my supplies are there."

I glared at him, then looked down at my little mate. Her breathing was starting to catch in her chest, and I knew that, as a human, she would most likely start coughing soon. I could see it disturbing her sleep, a frown marring her face as she tried to take in full breaths.

Gently, I picked her back up in my arms. I nodded to him, and followed behind him as he walked us down the hall to his office.

I watched him, carefully, for any sudden movements I didn't like, but he didn't. He moved slowly, purposefully.

Once inside, I watched as he prepared a chair for her. When he was finished, he stepped back, and watched me. I knew I was meant to place her down and let him work, but I was struggling with myself. One side of me knew I needed to put her down and let Carlisle take a close look, the other side wanting to sucker punch him and run.

I laid her down on the chair, my hand lingering next to her face. I slowly pulled away, and took a step back.

He worked diligently, even with me staring holes into his head. He cleaned the wound a bit more, and then got to putting the stiches in. He worked quick and cleanly.

"Did I ever tell you, son," he started, slowly. "What I accidentally did to Edward after I first changed Esme?"

I raised a brow at him.

"I was worried about her, obviously, after finding her so mangled in the morgue. The venom was changing her and repairing everything back, but I was still concerned. She was only my second change, and I was afraid that something would go wrong," he began, and neatly snipped the final stitch as he finished.

"I hadn't told Edward about her, hadn't even seen him since I'd ran her home. I hadn't even thought about him, if I'm perfectly honest. He came home from his hunt, and approached too quickly. I snapped at him, and then threw him out the second-floor window," Carlisle chuckled, taking off his gloves.

"I'd have to say that's one of the tamer reactions," I told him, quietly. "You met her before, didn't you, when she was young?"

He nodded, his eyes finding mine. "I knew then, but obviously knew she wasn't ready to be part of this world. She was much too young, and I wanted her to have the chance to live a normal, human life without me. Even though it killed me, I made the same choice Edward made with Bella. I left, and threw myself into my work to try and forget about her."

"I won't make that mistake," I told him, watching her sleeping for intently.

He smiled. "I figured not. Now, Jasper, can the others come back in? They wish to see her, too."

I felt myself frown, but nodded. "Yes."

They heard me, obviously. And I listened carefully as the three of them filed into the house. Peter made some sort of attempt to put the door back on, before I heard him just prop it against the opened door way.

"You go first, you two," Alice encouraged, her voice soft. "You're obviously worried about her."

"Thank you, Ali," Charlotte said, sincerely.

They walked the stairs, following the sound of her heartbeat. I watched the doorway as they approached and slowly came to a stop in the entry. They showed obvious submission and no ill intent, both showing their hands and moving deliberately.

"You can come in, I'm not going to snap at you," I chuckled, folding my arms over my chest.

Peter scoffed, but then walked through the doorway. "Not gunna fall for that one again. Last time ya' told me that I lost a leg."

Charlotte beamed at me, and came for a hug. I wrapped one arm around my adopted sister, and let go quickly once she was done. Peter watched closely as I hugged his mate, probably still not too sure if I was one hundred percent back to my senses.

I trained my eyes back on Gwen, breathing slowly through my nose. "You have a lot of explaining to do," I told them. "You, too, Alice."

Alice poked her head through the door, smiling sheepishly. "You're not growling, that's a good sign."

Peter stood next to Carlisle, watching Gwen closely. "She's getting worse, doc."

He nodded. "I'll need to take a close look over her, after she's woken up. We can figure out where she's at in the process then. For now, we should let her rest."

She stirred for a moment, clearing her throat with a pained face before turning onto her side and curling up like a ball. She murmured something illegible, her brows furrowing for a second, and then she went back into a deeper sleep.

Her emotions were peaceful, but I could feel a bit of pain radiating from her. She could feel her organs struggling, even in her sleep.

"Did you catch Victoria?" I inquired, my eyes not leaving her form.

I saw his shoulder sag from the corner of my eyes, and I turned to look at my friend. "No, Major. I'm sorry. She's quick, real quick. But the wolves were getting on the scent and she slipped off. We looped back around so we could get here before the wolves found us. Figured Carlisle would have a harder time tellin' them ya'll were back if we made a mess trying to fight them."

I growled, fists clenching. I wasn't mad at Peter, he'd done the smart thing, but this just meant we had a threat looming in the shadows.

Part of me wanted to rip the three of them a new one, anyway. Interfering and meddling with mate business was risky and deeply angering. Knowing that they'd known this whole time and kept me in the dark was almost enough to make me want to pack her up and leave with her, but I knew that, in the end, they'd been doing the right thing.

 _They wouldn't have done it if they hadn't had to. Think like the man, not like the monster. They kept her safe._

Alice smiled at me, gently. She came forward and placed her small hand on the crook of my left arm. "Come on, we'll go take a hunt and I'll finally explain everything to you. Carlisle, Peter, and Charlotte will be here for her in case she wakes up."

I paused, looking over at Gwen's resting form. I knew I had to give her space, as she was very new to our world. It would be hard enough explaining to her that she wasn't really dying, she was just slowly turning into a monster. It would be even worse trying to explain why I hovered so much, so I'd have to play it smoother. She wasn't a vampire yet, so she wouldn't have the same instincts that I had, but she would feel the pull.

"Your eyes _are_ black, son," Carlisle told, reaching forward to lay a hand on my shoulder. "You don't want to scare her when you wake up. You should go hunt, we'll watch her for you."

Sighing, I nodded. I looked at Peter and Charlotte, who were also supporting pitch black eyes. "You two going to be okay?"

Peter rolled his dark eyes at my accusatory tone, and looked at Carlisle. "As much as I hate a microwave meal… do ya' mind, doc?"

Carlisle chuckled. "I brought some blood bags for transfusions with me, just in case. I'll get them for you."

Peter made a face, and Charlotte giggled at him, patting his shoulder comfortingly. "It's not so bad. At least we're not eating the animals just yet, love."

"Just yet?" I voiced, raising a brow at the two. "Havin' a change of heart?"

"Hell no," Peter scoffed. "We just figured it'd be difficult to keep sneakin' off to Port Angeles to get our meals. So, we decided that, while things are bit delicate with the wolves, we'll feed off animals and stick close to base. But don't expect us ta' give it up for good."

I smirked at him. "Well, of course not."

Alice lead me out of the house and out into the woods. From there, she started to explain everything. From her first vision of Gwen and I, down to all the dirty details of my possible deaths. I couldn't really grasp the idea that there had been no way for me to come sooner, but I also understood that Alice felt personally responsible for everything and everyone involved.

She had only been doing what her power was telling her, and she was trying to look out for everyone.

"You sacrificed a lot to keep my mate safe," I told her, dropping the mountain lion I'd just drained.

Alice gave me a small, sad smile. "Of course, I did."

"I'm sorry, Alice," I murmured, sincerely. I could feel the little bits of heartbreak that she still had clinging to her, even though she was trying to hide it. "This couldn't have been easy for you."

She beamed at me, her eyes shimmering, and darted forward to give me a peck on the cheek. "You've done a lot for me, Jasper. I'm just happy that you're not mad with me, or with Peter and Charlotte."

"I am a little," I warned. "But now's not the time to be angry. We need to figure out our next step."

She bit her lip, nodding. "Yes, that's true. The family should be here in the morning. Edward's decided to go see Bella in a couple of days, but she'll be very frustrated with him. She won't let him come back in her life so easily."

She paused, shifting from one foot to the other.

"What is it, Alice?" I pushed, nearly demanding. "No more secrets about this. I have a right to know."

Alice sighed. "It's not that… It's just that we can't keep Gwen human for much longer. I can see bits of the future, where we waited too long and the change starts off very slow and agonizing. If we don't act soon, it'll put her into a coma. Her change will be very slow and agonizing if we don't push it along."

I nodded, my fears confirmed. "I'll have to take her… If I change her here the wolves might attack. We will keep her a secret from them, they must not know she's back. As long as they don't know about her, we should be safe. Otherwise, the whole family could end up in jeopardy. They've already proven to be unpredictable before."

Alice huffed, and folded her arms across her small chest. "I wish I could see them, but they block out most of my visions. I can only hear them occasionally."

We started to head back towards the house, and I was anxious to get back to Gwen. I had so much I needed to know. At this point, I knew next to nothing about her except her declining health.

"Jas," Alice faltered, stopping just before the river near our home. "Promise me something."

I slid to a halt, turning to look at her with a raised brow. "What?"

She smiled. "Gwen will learn to like you more the less controlling you seem. I know you want to snap into action but she's not a vampire, not yet. She isn't going to understand your feelings, not right away. You'll just confuse her if you start trying to boss her around. Don't make Edward's mistake and make choices for her. Let her have some space, at least for a while. She needs to see Bella again, soon, too. Once she's ready, then you can explain it all and take her."

My face hardened, but I nodded. This wasn't going to be as simply as it seemed. Alice had found me when she was already a vampire, so our love had been very natural and easy for us. I had no clue how to deal with a real mate, let alone one that was human and very, very new to vampires.

"I'll treat her right, Alice," I told her, and that seemed to placate her.

Alice beamed, and we jumped over the river and walked into the backyard. It was then I heard talking, and laughing. I realized then that she was awake, and talking to Peter and Charlotte like she'd known them for years.

I stalled at the back door, feeling a knot form in my stomach as I listened to her. Her emotions were joyful, relieved, but she didn't feel a single ounce of fear sitting in a room of vampires. She was adorably curious, inquiring Carlisle about his eyes as he went over a simple examination of her now that she was awake.

"Come on, Jas," Alice coaxed, smiling at me gently. She took my hand in her small one, and giving me a gentle pull. "Now's not a time to get all shy, cowboy."

I let her lead me through the house, and then stalled at the doorway to the office. Alice's hand fell from mine as she nearly skipped into the room.

"Gwen!" she greeted, smiling brightly at the human. "I'm Alice, it's so good to finally meet you!"

Gwen looked up from where she was watching Carlisle take samples of blood from her arm. I was thankful for her weird smell at that moment, because even though she smelled heavenly, her blood just wasn't all that appetizing. It was like something you could recognize as food, and you'd eat it if you had to, but you really didn't find it appealing.

She slowly assessed Alice, then smiled a little. "Hi, Alice. Nice to meet you, too. Sorry about last time we spoke."

Alice brushed off her apology. "No, no, you had every right to say everything you did. It actually helped me convince my dunce of a brother into coming back. The family should be here by tomorrow."

Those deep, brown eyes looked over Alice and ghosted to me. If I had a beating heart, it probably would've stopped right then and there. She appraised me, curiously, and then gave a grin. She didn't say anything, but instead gave me a small wave of greeting.

I inclined my head. "I'm Jasper, nice to meet you."

"Ohh, Alice's husband, right?" she inquired, and something in her face pinched like she tasted something fowl. I felt a flash of pain jolt through her, but she covered it up quickly with a smile. "Bella told me about you guys. Not that you were vampires, of course."

"Actually, we're not mates," Alice piped in, seeing me floundering and trying to help me recover. "Jasper and I did spend time together, but we're not mates."

Gwen inclined her head, sending a beautiful tumble of russet brown curls over her shoulder. "Mate? What's that about?"

* * *

 **Alright! So we have a villain. Obviously, I couldn't just ignore the threat of Victoria. Also! Some of you noticed, that Alice and Bella did not go Italy, because Edward also did not go Italy. This is true, but don't think I've forgotten about the Volturi. They'll still end up in the story :)**

 **Thank you all so much for the reviews, follows, and favorites! I appreciate every single piece of support that you all give!**

 **See you next chapter!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay! I am so excited to write more of this, it's hard for me to stop, sometimes. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 12

* * *

 _"Sorry! I don't want any adventures, thank you. Not Today. Good morning! But please come to tea -any time you like! Why not tomorrow? Good bye!"_

 _\- J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit_

* * *

"Jesus Christ, you're built like a brick house," I gaped, watching as the first set of Cullens entered the house.

The giant man let out a boisterous laugh, jostling the love seat he had perched on one of his shoulders. He grinned down at the woman next to him, and I couldn't help but be stunned by her sheer beauty. Even though all the vampires I'd encountered so far were amazingly attractive, she definitely took the cake.

She glanced at me with a slightly curious gaze, assessing me once, before snapping her gaze away and walking off with her luggage without so much as a word of "hello". She sauntered up the stairs with her arms loaded full of trunks and bags, all filled to the brim. I had a feeling a normal human wouldn't have been able to carry even three at a time, let alone the armfuls she was holding.

I raised my brows, surprised, and looked from the large man, and then to Alice. "What'd I do? I didn't even get a chance to be weird, yet."

Alice giggled, patting my shoulder. "It's okay, she likes you. She would've acted a lot worse otherwise. That's Rosalie, and the brick house, as you put it, is her mate, Emmett."

Emmett grinned, and dropped the loveseat down with a bang and sending up a cloud of dust from the floor. He was before me suddenly, holding out his hand. "Nice to meet you, squirt!"

"I'm not that small!" I protested, looking from him to Peter, who'd taken up calling me 'little one'. I still took his hand, though I was pouting the whole time.

Emmett raised a brow, and hovered his hand over my head like he was measuring my height, and then brought it straight over to his own body. From his rough measurement, I barely even reached his shoulders.

Peter fell into laughter at the offended look on my face, coming forward to greet the other Cullens. "Awe, man, I missed your humor. Nice to see ya' again, Emmett."

The two shook hands, and Peter look over his shoulder, glancing up towards the ceiling. "Nice to see you again, too, Rose!"

She must've said something snarky back that I couldn't hear, because both Peter and Emmett started laughing.

Char rolled her eyes at the two, and came to stand by me. She placed a hand across my shoulders, and I sagged against her in relief. I was having a hard time keeping my strength up, and I'd had to take several sitting breaks over the night as I explored the house. Carlisle had kept a close eye on me, and even helped me go from room to room.

A beautiful, caramel haired woman swept into the house next, frowning in confusion at the sight of the broken door. "What in the world?"

"Sorry, mom," Jasper coughed from the other side of the room, drawing my attention over to him.

Jasper had been a little stand offish since I'd woken up. He hovered in the background almost always, and sometimes I felt like I could feel his eyes burning holes into me when I wasn't looking. He was a mystery, that was for sure.

His eyes flickered over to me, and I quickly looked away. I knew he'd caught me staring, but he was kind enough not to say anything. When I looked back, however, he had a small smirk forming on his lips.

I looked back just in time to watch Carlisle take the woman into his arms. They embraced, and nearly everyone looked away for that moment. It was like they were giving them some sort of illusion of privacy, even though the whole house was filling up with vampires.

One straggler paused in the door way, and I raised a brow.

He had dark bronze hair, which was a tousled mess. His face was folded in thought, almost completely ignoring everyone else around him as he looked over the house. He was a gorgeous young man, that was understandable. He was the only Cullen left, and I knew who he had to be.

"You're Edward," I stated, and everyone stopped for a moment.

His golden eyes found mine, and he gave a friendly smile. "Yes, I am. You must be Gwen, I-"

"I hear from the grapevine that you're intending to apologize to my cousin," I interrupted, very calmly. I like to think I was taking after Peter's calmness against an enemy, but I knew I couldn't be anywhere that good.

Edward gave a short nod. "I am."

I stared at him, long and hard. He looked miserable, honestly. Underneath the façade, he looked like a man on his last stretch of life. If what the others had explained to me was true, then he was feeling the full effects of rejecting his mating bond with my cousin. A pain that hurt him terribly, one that he could handle at least for the most part. But that didn't mean that my cousin should've had to feel that pain along with him.

Edward suddenly winced, like he'd been hit. I ignored the odd behavior, and kept talking.

"If you even think of hurting her again," I began, my voice still calm. "I will haunt you to the ends of the earth after my death, for the rest of your stupidly long vampire life. And I'll also make Peter steal one of your hands and bury it somewhere far, far away."

Despite my threat, Edward smiled. "I'd surely let him do it. I'd deserve it. Even now, I do. I know I don't deserve her, or her forgiveness. But I intend to try and make things right again."

"Good," I stated, looking away from him.

I noticed the other vampires watching the situation intently, especially Jasper. He wore that dumb smirk on his face that my insides do weird things. I blushed, which was odd for me, because I usually wasn't an easy person to embarrass.

"Hello, Gwen," the caramel woman said suddenly, breaking away from Carlisle's loving embrace to come towards me. "I'm Esme, Carlisle's mate."

She hugged me before I even had a chance to great her, and my heart felt warm. She was soft, like a mom should be, and she smelled nice, also like a mom should. Even though she was just as cold as the others, I still melted against her warm personality, and was quick to give her a small hug back.

"Hi," I whispered, feeling my heart ache as I was reminded of Janette, my poor adopted mother who had no clue where I was.

Jasper was watching me as Esme and I broke away from each other, his face suddenly turned in a frown.

Carlisle cleared his throat, drawing everyone's attention over to himself. "Alright, we've got a lot of cleaning and unpacking to do. I need to do a couple more checks on Gwen, if the rest of you would like to get started. We need to get this place looking livable again."

Peter clapped him on the shoulder. "We can help, doc. Ain't no big deal movin' the furniture around."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Edward chuckled, walking past him to go back out to the moving truck they'd rented. "Esme can be very picky as to where she likes her furniture."

Esme tutted at him, placing her hands on her hips as she leveled him with what could only be described as the "mom-stare". He grinned at her boyishly, before ducking past the broken front door and into the lawn.

I smiled, watching as Emmett and Peter walked out after him. They were just like any normal family, even though none of them were actually related. It was fun to see them beyond the vampires that they were. They were still human, at least in their personalities. It was hard for me to imagine any of them as mean or as a monster.

Jasper paused for a moment, glancing between Carlisle and myself before he joined the other boys in the front.

"I'll drive to the hardware store for a new door," Esme sighed, and walked over to peck her husband on the lips.

Once everyone was in action on their tasks, Carlisle walked over and offered me his arm, a kind smile crossing his lips.

I smiled back at him, grateful, and placed my hand in the crook of his arm. He said nothing as he supported most of my weight, and I was grateful for that. When we got to the stairs, he stopped and picked me up as gently as he could.

"Thanks," I mumbled, sadly. I think we both knew I'd have gone out of breath before we'd even reach the top, even with him supporting me.

"Of course," he replied, and placed me back on my feet once we were at the top.

Carlisle was the most human-like vampire you could ever think of. He moved like a human, as though not to startle me any with his speed, and was extremely kind. I tried to imagine him taking a bite out of someone, and I just couldn't picture it properly in my head. He was too kind, too gentle.

"Alright, Gwen," he said, helping me up onto the chair. "I need you to breath normally. I'm going to take another listen at your lungs."

I almost expected him to equip a stethoscope, but I stupidly remembered that he didn't need it. He could probably hear it all just as good from the backyard, let alone standing right next to me.

We went through a few tests where he prodded my reflexes, listened to my lungs and my heart, and then he asked to take a small tissue sample. I blanched at the idea of having a scalpel nicking a piece off of me, but he did it so smoothly and quickly that I hadn't even noticed he was done until he was sticking on a band-aid over the area.

"Can I take a look at your leg, Gwen? The one that goes numb?" Carlisle asked, constantly a gentlemen and a gentle doctor.

"Uh, yeah, go for it," I told him, confused but helping roll up my sweatpants.

His cold hands ran across my leg, prodding and feeling gently. I was mortified with myself when I realized that I hadn't had any time to shave since I'd woken up, but the poor man had probably seen a lot worse in his time as a doctor besides stubbly leg hair. I pushed back the embarrassment, watching as he turned my ankle this way and that.

"Would you mind turning? I want to look at the scar," he prodded, directing what way he needed me to turn.

I curiously watched as he touched the crescent moon scar on my leg, wondering what in the world he was doing. I couldn't fathom what checking an old wound like that would do, but I didn't question him aloud. He was the doctor, not me.

He let go of my leg and walked back to his desk, leaving me to roll my pant leg back down.

Carlisle was jotting a few things down on paper, and I watched him. He had an odd, contemplative look on his face. I knew I'd seen plenty of puzzled faces on doctors after they looked over me, but he had a different look than that. He wasn't puzzled, like confused. He was curious, and obviously knew something that I didn't.

"Do you know why my body is doing this?" I whispered.

His gold eyes flicked up from the clipboard, holding onto my gaze. He then nodded at me, and gave a soft sigh. "Yes, we have a good idea of what's happening to you, Gwen. I know you want answers more than anyone, but I think it best we go over it once everyone is ready to sit down and talk. Can you wait for that?"

I stared at him, conflicted. Biting my lip gently, I looked at the floor. "Can you at least tell me how long I have left?" I asked, my voice cracking. It was a morbid question, I knew, but I wanted to know. I ached to know. I'd lived so long wondering.

"That depends solely on you," he replied, and my head snapped back up.

I gave him a hard look. What kind of messed up answer was that?

We didn't speak anymore after that. I hopped off the chair and told him I was going to go back downstairs. He offered to help me back down, but I told him that it was a lot easier going down than it was to go back up.

The rest of the day, I was trying my hardest to make the dumb vampires let me help unpack. I felt useless just sitting there and watching. I'd gotten rejected at just about every request, until Esme got home. Instead of declining my help, she gave me a loving grin and swept me off to the kitchen to help her put away plates and cups.

"But you don't eat," I protested, putting another plate in the cupboard. "What's the point of all this stuff?"

Esme smiled, running a hand across the ornate design along the side of the plates. "We like to keep up the human pretense as much as we can. If there were ever a chance we'd have a human visitor, we'd look odd having a bare kitchen. Besides, it came useful when I got to start cooking meals for Bella."

I nodded, understanding a bit better. It would be pretty weird to go into someone's home and see that they had _no_ basic utensils or food.

After that, Esme let me help put out furniture. And when I say help, I mean she left me in charge to boss the boys around about where they plopped stuff down.

"Hmm, little bit to left," I grinned, watching as Peter huffed and threw me a glare.

"Ya' just said more to the right," he grumbled.

"Yeah, but now that I see it to the right I can see that it looks better to the left," I smarted back, sticking my tongue out at him when gave me another hard look.

Charlotte chuckled from the lazyboy recliner, sitting in it sideways so that she had her legs thrown over one of the arms. I'd let her place it down exactly where she'd put it, and I think that was what was burning Peter the most.

"Hmm, okay, that's perfect," I stated, once Peter had moved the couch almost exactly where he'd placed it down the first time.

Peter gave me another irritated look, making me chuckle. I knew he was just putting on a face, he wasn't really mad. I think he got his kicks from teasing people and being teased, so I didn't put much faith in the half-hearted glare he was giving me.

"Yeah, yeah, keep laughin', just wait until I erase your save," he boasted, pulling my 3DS out of his coat pocket.

I gasped. "You wouldn't dare."

Edward chuckled from his position in the corner, from where he was sitting at the piano they'd just uncovered and dusted. "I wouldn't try it, Peter. She's not going to help you beat the level you're on if you do it."

I turned to the boy, my brow raised. "How did you know what I was thinking?"

Edward cocked a brow back. "No one told you?"

I shuffled, nervously. "No…? What? Told me what?"

"I'm a mind-reader, that's my gift as a vampire," Edward stated, watching with amusement as my mouth fell wide open.

 _I fucking knew one of them would end up being a mind reader!_

I groaned, feeling a bit of embarrassment knowing all the dumb stuff that crossed through my mind. "Oh my god, do I feel bad for us both."

"It _is_ pretty wild in there," he teased, smirking as I glared at him in mock anger. "I was almost expecting you to block me out, though. I can't hear Bella's thoughts, so I thought maybe with your relation you'd be the same case."

Carlisle, Esme, and Alice came walking down the stairs at that moment, just as the rest of the family joined us in the family room. It suddenly felt a little less joyful and a little tenser. At least, for me. I knew now was the time that Carlisle was finally going to spill the beans on what he'd picked up from illness.

Esme took a look around at the finished living room and beamed at me. "It looks very nice in here, Gwen. Thank you for the help."

"Yeah, yeah, thank the evil overseer," Peter scoffed, and Charlotte shushed him.

Carlisle glanced around the room, and his golden eyes settled on me. "Gwen, you may want to sit down. You're looking a little tired."

"'m fine," I whispered, shuffling slightly. "I just want to get this over with."

Charlotte appeared next to me, taking my hand. She gave me a comforting smile and gently squeeze, and I felt lucky that I'd gotten to meet her and Peter. Circumstances aside, they were great people and even greater vampires. They'd taken the best care of me, and they'd become like good friends to me.

"Gwen, I wanted to know if you could recall the night you got your scar, before I tell you what we've learned," Carlisle prodded. "It might help us put things in a more concrete answer."

I was confused. I don't know what a random hobo attack even had to do with any of this, but I decided to play along for their sake.

"Well, I don't remember all the gritty details," I began. "It happened pretty fast, and I just think I blocked out a good portion of it. It was pretty traumatic for me at the time, I was only fourteen."

"Any details will help," Carlisle encouraged.

Peter stood and came to stand next to me with Charlotte, giving my shoulder a quick pat before assuming his position next to his mate.

"Okay, story time, then. For those of you who don't know, I have two siblings. They're fraternal twins, but I've always been sure they would be identical if they were the same gender. That aside, their birthday was coming up. I wanted to spend some of my allowance on presents for them. My adopted mom was going to the city and I went with," I started, that part coming out pretty easily. It was only the attack that I was pretty cloudy on.

"Janette was taking so long shopping, and I'd already spent my money. I told her I wanted to go wait in the car, and she gave me the keys and promised she'd be close behind. Well, I was raised in a really small town and was completely turned around in such a big, busy city. I got lost trying to find the car, and even more lost trying to find my way back.

"I ended up in some weird back alley, and I remember that the sun had just set. I think I'd been wandering for at least an hour.

"While I was trying to get back to the main street, this strange guy stepped out of the shadows. I don't really remember what he looked like… He creeped me out, even as a kid I could just tell that he wasn't a very good dude. He had bad intentions, I know that much."

Rosalie's head tilted towards me, her eyes softening slightly. I tried to act like I didn't notice, continuing with the story.

"He was saying a lot of weird crap, rambling on to himself. I tried to push past him and he grabbed at me. I struggled, and he let go so that I would fall down. He was still rambling as he came over me, and he took my leg in hands, as it was the closest piece of me close to him, and then he bit me," I explained, scratching the back of my head nervously.

I always got the creeps telling that story, just thinking about that weirdo.

"What happened then?"

It was Jasper, and his voice was hard, dark. I glanced at him, and was nearly floored by the intensity in his gaze. He looked calm in a very murderous sort of way.

"I was blacking out. I don't know how it is for vampires, but getting bitten by someone hurts like hell. I was in so much pain, but I heard someone start yelling at him. He got pulled off of me and I went under. Next thing I knew I was in the hospital with Janette," I finished, shrugging unhelpfully. "I've been weary of big cities since then. You never know who's creeping around."

"Or _what_ ," Emmett mumbled from across the room, and several people glared at him.

I raised a brow, looking from him to the others in the room. "Okay, I'm obviously missing something important here. Mind filling a simple-minded human in?"

"Did that man seem oddly fast, or way too strong?" Jasper asked me, stepping away from the wall where he'd been leaning.

I blinked at him, and tried to recall. "I don't… I don't remember. Like I said, I blocked a lot of it out since I was so upset."

Carlisle glanced at Jasper, who returned his stare. Jasper nodded at him, and Carlisle stepped forward. "Gwen, I know that you've been told that your scent's a bit of an enigma to us, correct?"

"Yeah," I shrugged. "I'm not tasty smelling. Can't say I'm too sad about that."

"I'm afraid, the man that you encountered wasn't a man at all, Gwen," Carlisle said, slowly like he was trying not to scare me with his words. "With all of this, and the tests I've done on your blood, we've factored that the man who bit you wasn't a human, he was a vampire."

I gave him a long stare, feeling a little bit of the air knock out of me. "Okay… so, I was almost a snack. Good to know."

"You're not understandin'," Jasper explained, stepping a bit closer, past Carlisle. "Did Peter ever explain to you about how vampire's change into what they are?"

"I mean," I glanced from him to Peter. "Not in great lengths of detail. I know it's when you get… bitten..."

I stopped, the thought clicking together in my head. My heart dropped down into my stomach like a sinking stone as I begin to put the pieces together in my head. I could practically feel the blood draining from my face, and there was a potential panic attack rising up inside of me like a monster in waiting. "But… I'm not…"

"Not yet," Jasper explained. "He wasn't able to change you, or kill you. But whoever pulled him off of you didn't check to see if he'd left any venom behind. Chances are he left enough of his venom in your leg to start somethin'."

I looked from him, to Carlisle. Carlisle was looking at me with sympathy, his face saddened. "When you said that it depended on me… you meant that I'm turning into a vampire?"

Carlisle nodded grimly. "I'm afraid so. There is no way to stop the change at this point. While what he left behind was a very, very small amount, it's already spread in your body. In the end, at the point where everyone assumed you would be dying, I believe you would've gone comatose and began a slow change.

"Most vampires changes last a few days, but between my own observations and some of Alice's visions, we believe your change could last up to a full month if left to its own devices. It is a painful process, so the best choice of action would be for one of us to bite you again and further along the change," Carlisle continued, and watched sadly as I started to tremble. "I'm sorry, Gwen, I really am."

"Oh, sweetheart," Char murmured, her cold arms wrapping around me.

I placed my head in my hands, everything spinning around like a top. I was shivering, but didn't feel cold. This time I didn't try to tell myself to stay strong, and I let the tears fall. "I could've hurt my family. God, I could've killed them. If I hadn't come here... I'm a time bomb."

A weird wave of calmness washed over me, and comfort. It washed over my back like a warm wave of water, and left some clarity in its wake. I felt better, and less likely to start having an anxiety attack at any moment.

"You couldn't have known, little one," Peter comforted, his voice tense. "Ya' didn't know a thing about us until Char and I came to get you."

On one hand, I wasn't completely _dying_. I was going to come back, no matter what choice I made. Short change, long change, but no chance of going back. I'd spent so much time wondering when I was going to die, worrying over my family as they struggled to come to terms with their dying daughter and sister.

While I'd thought Bella was a little crazy for wanting to join Edward as a vampire, I'd understand her views and the glamor of it.

For a moment, I thought about that. As a vampire, I wouldn't have to worry about feeling sick ever again. I could walk, run, and jump without ever getting tired. I could live my life however I wanted to with no real fear of death or pain. But I would have to live eternity knowing I'd left behind my family, leaving them wondering what happened to me for the rest of their human lives.

"It sounds like I don't really have much of a decision," I chuckled, humorlessly.

I looked back up, and gave them a small smile. "I'll be okay. I just need a human moment, if you all don't mind. I'm not going to insult your intelligence and tell you I'm tired, but I just need to sit by myself for a moment."

Jasper walked forward, offering me his arm just as Carlisle had done earlier. "You can use my study, it'll be quiet."

I nodded, breaking away from Charlotte and Peter to take his arm. My skin tingled like I'd just been electrocuted, the second my hand touched his arm. I tried to ignore it, how it made me feel. It had to be a weird vampire thing. Maybe Jasper was an electric vampire, who knows.

When Jasper picked me up to take me up the stairs, my whole body felt warm despite the coldness in his touch. I didn't think too much on it, my head was up in the stars trying to find its way back to me. I was so overwhelmed, it was hard to really discern what I was feeling right then and there.

He took me into his study, and something about the way it smelled was oddly familiar. It smelled like sanded wood and old books, which was pretty pleasant.

"Call for m-…us if you need anything," Jasper told me, hovering near the door for moment, before he swept out of the room and closed the door behind him.

I looked at the spot where he'd stood, confused for a moment, before giving out a long sigh and crawling onto the couch. It still smelled a little musty from hanging out in the dusty house for a few months, but it wasn't the worst place I could pick to lay.

For a couple hours, I just laid there in the dark with my eyes closed. I wasn't close to sleeping, but the darkness gave me some help to go through my thoughts.

I was going to become a vampire. There was no if, ands, or buts about it. I would either change kicking and screaming, the hard way, or just accept my fate and let someone change me the easier way. It sounded a lot better to have a short change then a long and drawn out one.

Groaning, I turned over and buried my face under one of the couch pillows. Since when did dying have to become such a complicated thing?! I figured it'd be a little painful and then I'd meet whatever fate the afterlife provided, not come back as a blood drinking vampire.

 _What if I kill someone?_

God, I hadn't thought of that. I don't think I had it in me to actually hurt someone, but it didn't sound like I'd have too much of a choice against my instincts. I'd be blood thirsty, crazed, even. I could snap at any moment and eat some poor, unsuspecting person.

 _I don't want to do that. I want to eat animals, like the Cullen's. I don't care how bad Bambi's going to taste, he's going down the hatch!_

I didn't even know if animals tasted bad compared to humans. The way Peter talked sometimes, it sounded like a very lackluster diet. Less fulfilling. I knew that he and Charlotte were very selective with their meals, trying to pick out murders, rapists, and abusers to eat instead of normal people. It was an ideal way to coop with their nature, but I don't think I'd be able to deal with the pain if I picked wrong.

 _I'm not a killer. Last time I even remotely fought someone physically, I punched Harvey Flint for calling me names on the playground, and we were seven!_

I forced myself up and off the couch, needing a distraction. All my things had been moved to Alice's room, since Peter and Charlotte had taken the guest bed room. They'd offered to share it with me, but I felt they deserved a chance at some privacy after spending nearly three weeks solid with me.

My eyes drifted over to the shelves against the right wall. It would be easier to describe it as, that wall was only books shelves. They were filled to the brim with books, old journals, and some classic reads. I let my eyes drift over the spines, the bookworm in me wondering if he had something interesting that I hadn't read yet.

I was unsurprised to see that he was just like Peter. Almost all of his books were history and western based, and while I didn't find history necessarily boring, it wasn't something I would spend hours and hours reading over. There were a few novels I'd already read before, and a couple books I swear I'd had to read for my homeschooled history course in my sophomore year.

 _Wait, wait, wait, what is this?_

One spine stood out among the rest, only because it had a name on it that I recognized.

 _Jasper Whitlock? I thought that was Peter and Charlotte's last name?_

The closer I looked, the more it looked like a hand-written journal than a published book. I didn't think Jasper the type to write about his everyday life, so I figured it had to be a recollection of his human past, before he changed. It felt way to private for me to just pluck it off the shelf and start reading, so I left it alone.

I ended up picking out a worn original copy of "The Outsiders". It was one of the more "modern" pieces the guy had, but it looked like he'd enjoyed it enough to the point that cover and pages were faded around the edges.

"Okay, Ponyboy, let's see if you can distract me until I finally sleep," I muttered, throwing myself back onto the couch and starting to read.

* * *

"Edward is leaving to go see Bella," Alice explained, as I watched her brother walk out of the house in a hurry. "He's been avoiding everyone all day because he's trying to think of what to say."

I shrugged, turning back towards the news playing on the flat screen. "It's his own fault. I don't know how she'll react. She's either going to cry or yell at him, one of the two."

Emmett scoffed, walking by the pieces of broken door from the other day. "Bella doesn't yell, not really, and especially not at Edward."

"Goes to show how much you all know," I muttered under my breath.

"What did you do with our sweet Bella?" Emmett accused, nearly smacking Jasper with the lower half of the door as he swung back around. "You terrible influence, you."

I snorted, waving him off. "Oh, shoo. Go away, ya mountain. I'm a wonderful influence."

Emmett gave me a teasing grin, and continued marching the broken door out to the backyard. Jasper watched him leave with a raised brow, before shaking his head and sighing.

I, however, was focused on the news anchor talking on the TV. The whole morning they'd been covering some freaky stuff going on in Seattle.

" _All of Seattle has been under investigation as of late, with multiple missing persons reports and murders occurring right under our noses. Everyone is being advised to stay in at night and make sure their homes are locked-"_

The TV suddenly turned off, and I whined loudly in protest. "Hey! That was interesting!"

Alice giggled at my pouting face, her eyes drifting from Jasper and back over to myself. "I know, I know, but Esme is making dinner and would surely love your help. She's making extra since Bella is coming over."

I raised my eyebrows, surprised. "Bella's coming over?"

Alice nodded, her lips pursing into a thin line. "Yes… I don't see it going over too well for Edward, but when he mentions that we have you and you're safe, she demands him to bring her here for proof."

As much as I hated sitting on my ass all the time, I was having a lot of trouble moving around and getting up and down. It was taking a lot more energy than it had previously. Ever since that bad seizure in the hotel, I'd been a lot weaker.

They didn't act like it was much hassle helping me out, though. If anything, they were all enjoying taking turns "walking the human", as Emmett so nicely put it. I had been happy to watch Esme and Rosalie both scold him for that one.

"Okay, okay," I huffed, and gave a noise of exertion as I tried to force myself up and out of the plush couch. "Jesus, you really sink into this thing."

"Fightin' with the couch, little one?" Peter chuckled, walking through the main room with Charlotte's arm linked through his.

"Shut it, Peter," I growled. "Where have you two even been all day?"

Peter coughed awkwardly, looking away from my gaze, and I made a face. "Never mind, I don't want to know."

Jasper was the one who finally came over and offered me a hand, seeing as I was starting to lose some breath trying to get onto my feet. Again, once our skin met, it was like there was a current of electricity flowing between us. It was a difficult to describe, as I wasn't exactly the type to go around playing with electricity.

"Okay, so are you like, electric?" I intoned, shaking my hand from his once he'd gotten me into a good standing position. "You're always shocking me. I wouldn't figure you guys could hold static very well."

He chuckled, humor shining in those amazingly gold eyes of his. "No, I'm not. Our cousin Kate is the one with a real electrical power. But I do have one, myself."

"Okay, so what can you do?" I prodded, as he helped me walk through the family room and into the kitchen.

He stopped, his face contemplative. "I _could_ just tell you… but, I tell you what. Instead, I'll give you two days to try and figure it out, and if you can't by the end of the last day, I'll tell you. But, you have to do something for me if you lose."

It was a weird request, coming from a man who'd spoke very few words with me. I couldn't imagine that he'd ask me to do anything horrible. Maybe he'd have me organize those monstrous book shelves of his. They were really unorganized, so I don't think I'd even mind it that much.

"Alice!" I called. "What's Jasper's power, I want to win!"

I heard the beautiful peals of her laughter floating in from the living room, but I didn't get an answer back.

"No cheating," Jasper told me, smirking at the pout on my face.

I glared at him playfully, but a grin soon broke through my facade. "Fine, fine. But! If I win, you have to do something for me, instead. But you can't just leave me in the complete dark on it, you've gotta give me some hints."

He gave me an amused look. "I've already given you a couple, at least enough for now."

Then he left, leaving me slack jawed. "Okay, that's not very fair! You're going to rue the day you made a bet with Gwen Swan, you silly vampire!"

Esme laughed from somewhere behind me, and I turned to face her. She gave me an amused look, and I padded over to see what she had cooking on the stove. There was a large pot of pasta boiling, and was preparing some garlic bread, ironically.

"Whoa, Esme. That is a lot of food," I told her, shocked. "I think you'll need at least four more humans to eat this in one sitting."

She nodded, looking at the cooking food with a little distaste. "It's been a long time since we've had to cook human food. Bella would always make me keep the left overs. She'd just heat it up until it was gone. She said it kept me from having to cook for her every time she was over, but I don't mind!"

I smiled at her, feeling her maternal instincts practically ooze out of every word. She was definitely a caretaker, and she didn't really care who it was she was caring for. "That's really nice of you. Doesn't it smell bad, though? Peter said human food tastes like ass- ashes. Like ashes."

She wrinkled her nose at me, and I faintly heard Peter and Emmett laughing in the backyard at my near slip. "Yes, it doesn't smell exactly like food to us anymore. And it definitely isn't pleasant to eat. We can't digest it, so we have to throw it back up if we eat it for any sort of appearances."

I blanched. "Yuck. Okay, well, where do you want me to start?"

She gave the task of spreading the garlic butter over the bread pieces she's cut, and she talked with me the whole time. I had fun just spending time around Esme, because she was just such a calm and caring person. You could tell she loved her family with every single fiber of her being, and she remembered so many little stories and details about each of them.

"So, then Alice and Jasper came to us," Esme explained, plating up some of the cooked spaghetti for me. "They'd already been changed, and Alice's power had lead them both to us. She moved into Edward's room that very night."

I grinned. "She just butted him out of his own room?"

Esme giggled. "Yes, and he was very disgruntled by it. But, he didn't question it too much and just moved into another room down the hall. She told us that it had the best view."

Suddenly, she frowned, looking down towards the floor. I almost asked her what was wrong, but noticed the look on her face. She was listening to something, something my simple human hearing couldn't pick up.

"Oh, dear," she sighed.

I jumped as I heard the brand new front door swing open with a bang.

 _Well, that probably dented the wall._

"Gwen?! Gwen!"

I blinked, and slowly padded towards the entryway between the kitchen and the living room. Esme followed closely behind, her hand hovering near the small of my back in case I looked like I was about to fall.

Bella had stormed through the front door, where Edward now hovering, nervously. He looked extremely frazzled, and I was guessing my cousin had given him a good what for.

She was scanning the vampires in the room, before spotting me come up in the entry way. Her face was streaked from a few tears, but she looked extremely relieved once her gaze landed on me. She instantly bee-lined for me.

"Bella!" I grinned, as she marched across the room.

We threw our arms around each other, and I felt her tuck her face into my hair. "God, Gwen! I thought you were dead!"

I felt a few tears pooling in my eyes, and I hugged her a bit tighter. "You know you can't get rid of me that easily, Bells. I'm sorry I couldn't warn you."

"I threw a lamp at him after he came through my window," she whispered, mortification coloring her voice. "I can't believe I threw a lamp at him, Gwen."

I dissolved into laughter, my tears now flowing freely.

Bella, realizing the silliness of what she'd said, started laughing with me.

I think we were both a little hysterical, after getting separated the way we had and having found both of ourselves tangled up in a web of the supernatural. We were clinging to each other and laughing like we'd never been apart.

When we separated, the first thing I saw was Jasper's face. He was smiling softly as he watched us hug and laugh, but looked away once his eyes caught mine.

Bella put her hands on my shoulders, pulling back to give me a once over. I must've looked even worse than I had the last time she'd seen me, because all the joy fell from her face almost instantly. It was replaced with sadness, her eyes softening. "God, Gwen…"

"I'm the picture of health and beauty," I protested, trying to make her wipe the morose look from her face. "Don't look at me like that, Bells. I'm going to be okay."

She looked from me, and then over her shoulder at the ungodly amount of vampires littering the room. For a moment, her gaze met Edward's and the two kept their eyes locked for a moment. I heard her swallow, trying to stuff her emotions down, before she turned back to me. "C'mon, Gwen. Charlie will want to know that you're okay. He's been worrying like crazy."

A wave of discomfort went through the room, and Bella stopped walking forward when my hand slipped out from hers. "Gwen?"

"I can't come home, Bella," I said softly, suddenly finding the floor very interesting to look at. "And Charlie can't know I'm here, either. And not Janette, Lukas, or the twins, either."

She gave me a puzzled look, then saw the uncomfortable faces of the others. "What's going on?"

Edward came forward, and slowly placed a hand on her shoulder. She flinched like she'd been burned, and he instantly pulled his hand away. "Bella…"

"Bella, you know I'm not one to beat around the bush on stuff," I told her, honestly. "So, I'm just going to come out and say it. I'm not dying, but I don't think I'm going to have much time left as a human."

She paused, her eyes searching my face as realization dawned over her. Her face paled, and her eyes glanced down at my left leg. "Your leg… That's why you're sick, from when you were bitten."

 _Wait a second…_

"That's why you were so freaked out about my scar, you knew I'd been attacked by a vampire," I realized, connecting very similar dots together. "You couldn't tell me that you knew, though. It wasn't your secret to tell."

She put a hand to her forehead, looking pained. "God, why didn't I think of that? I just assumed you were sick, even after I found out about the bite."

"There's nothing you could've done, even if you'd thought of it," I told her, shrugging. "It's not like certain vampires left you a phone number to call."

If the whole room could've flinched, they would've. It was a low blow, but I was still angry at them all for it. Bella may've seemed pretty dramatic me at the beginning, but I understood now that none of it had been her choice. The intensity of her emotions were coming from a bond her human body couldn't fully understand. Then, on top of that, they left my cousin with a rouge vampire still at large, and that was just plain stupidity.

"So, when will you be changed?" Bella asked, looking around the room when she got no answer. "There's no point in letting you live in this pain anymore, if it's inevitable."

Carlisle stepped forward, giving Bella a kind smile. "Yes, we were going to discuss that tonight once Edward had brought you home. We wanted you to be present."

Bella looked at Edward, who was still giving her the same abused-puppy look he'd come in with. She let out a sigh, and then came back to my side. "Okay, and once we've got everything for Gwen sorted, we can sit down and talk about when you'll change me."

Edward looked like he'd been punched right in the gut. "Bella.."

She leveled him with a look, and he stopped. For a moment, the two looked like the epitome of a tragic romance. It was obvious Bella still loved him, her face still softened every time she looked his way. The mating bond wasn't helping, either. But, I knew she was struggling with both her self-esteem and her trust in Edward. How could she be expected to put her blind faith back in his hands, after what he'd done to it the first time?

"We'll put it to a vote," Carlisle agreed, nodding at her. "We're sorry for how things transpired, Bella. It won't happen again. As the leader of the coven I take some of the responsibility for our leaving. I shouldn't have left a family member behind, there is no proper excuse for it, and it's not a mistake we'll ever make again."

Bella looked to Carlisle, and I saw her eyes drift to the floor. "I just… assumed none of you wanted me."

Alice shook her head, coming forward instantly. "No, Bella, no. We just wanted to keep you safe… It sounds awful saying it like that, but when Edward said we needed to leave we were all very scared about what we could do to you. After the accident…"

"I never blamed any of you for that!" She protested, and a tear slipped past. "I told you, every single one of you. It was just that, an accident. And if you wanted to protect me, instead of leaving me behind you could've just changed me and been done with it."

If Alice could cry, she would've started then. Her eyes were glossed over, and she looked less and less like the happy little vampire I'd come to know over the last couple days.

I struggled with thinking that the Cullen's definitely deserved some of Bella's scorn, but also just feeling bad about the whole situation.

Bella softened at the sight, and let out a heavy sigh. "I know it's not that simple… But there was definitely a choice that could've been made. I love you all still, despite that you left. Just… give me some time. And some space. And promise that you won't start making decisions for me, anymore."

Alice nodded, looking a little less sullen.

"So, I'm missing another little detail," I began, my brows furrowing. "What exactly is the _accident_ we are talking about?"

* * *

 **Okay! Chapter 12 is a wrap! Time to start working on the next one :D**

 **Thank you all so much for your support, it means a lot!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Holy updates, Batman!**

 **I'm so sorry, guys. You have no idea how unbelievably _stuck_ I got with this chapter. While I do have a general layout of where I want the plot to go, I let my brain come up with a lot on it's own to thicken the chapters and add the character depth. I got so damn stuck with this chapter, and I'm sorry it took so long. I hope it was worth the wait, and I'll be trying to get the next one out either this weekend or within the next week.**

* * *

Chapter 13

* * *

 _"Then something Tookish woke up inside him, and he wished to go and see the great mountains, and hear the pine-trees and the waterfalls, and explore the caves, and wear a sword instead of a walking-stick."_

 _\- J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit_

* * *

For a moment there was only silence. I could hear the heavy rain above pitter pattering on the rooftop, and the faint sound of thunder in the distance. But even though I loved the rain, it couldn't stop the fact that it made the air a lot tenser feeling. It was like a wave of nausea, almost, that was settling in the room like a thick fog.

It took a moment, before Alice finally stood up and began to speak.

"On Bella's birthday last year, we threw a party. Or, I should say that I did," Alice began, her face uncomfortable. "I didn't see anything go wrong, but something did. She was opening a present and ended up getting a papercut."

"How the hell did you get a paper cut from wrapping paper?" I demanded, looking at my cousin incredulously.

She blushed. "I don't know! My hand slipped."

"Oh lord, Bella, and in a room full of vampires," I groaned, palming my forehead in sheer disbelief at the clumsiness of my cousin. "Okay, who snapped, then?"

There was another moment of silence, and Alice looked nervous. She shifted from foot to foot, and opened her mouth, before Jasper spoke up.

"It was me," he murmured, and his eyes wouldn't meet mine. "I'm the newest to the 'vegetarian' life style and it's been harder for me to adjust."

I felt bad for him, as weird as that sounds. I should've been appalled, or angry, or _something_. But I wasn't. They were vampires, for Christ's sake. Of course, something like that was bound to end up happening at some point in time while they had Bella around as a human. Sure, they were living a lifestyle that allowed them to feel more human and coexist with them in peace, but they were still vampires. What mattered wasn't that someone had snapped, but that the rest had been there and acted in time to put a stop to it.

Edward's face snapped towards me, painted with disbelief as he most likely caught wind of my thoughts. "You are both so awful at the concept of self-preservation, do you know that?"

Bella chuckled. "I'm guessing you're thinking the same things I tried to tell them before they left."

I shuffled forward, and reached for Jasper. His eyes found mind, and he moved closer so that I could pat his arm. "Listen, it's not your fault. I know you're thinking it is, but it's not. It's like yelling at a hungry dog for taking food. I know you guys probably feel all angsty and guilty, but even I can tell that Bella never even felt like you did anything wrong."

Bella nodded fervently in agreement, her face holding nothing but forgiveness.

Jasper's eyes glanced at my hand, pressed gently against the cool skin of his arm, and back up to my face. He nodded, giving a soft smile. "Thank you."

A warm feeling came over me, resting across my shoulders like a blanket that'd just gotten out of the dryer. I tried to discern the feeling, but almost as quickly as it came, it was gone. I wasn't one for mood swings, so it was odd to have my feelings pass through so quickly. Especially when they didn't exactly feel like they were mine, even.

 _I have been having weird, little mood swings lately. Odd. Maybe it's all the stress? Probably the stress._

A loud beeping interrupted the silence, and Esme jumped. "Oh! The garlic bread. Let's get some food in you both, okay?"

Next thing Bella and I knew, we were sat down at the dining room table surrounded by vampires. They weren't being completely weird, they were talking back and forth and sometimes including us, but I could see in their eyes that they were a little curious towards us eating human food. Jasper, actually, hadn't taken his eyes off me once during the whole thing, and I figured he must miss the taste of human food pretty badly.

"Man," I sighed softly, plopping my half-eaten garlic bread down on the plate. "Bella, I'm not going to get to enjoy chocolate ever again."

"That's what you're worried about?" she deadpanned, staring at me blankly from over her plate.

I groaned, sliding down some in my seat. "Bella, think of the candy of the _future_! I'll be forever haunted knowing I won't be able to have any, because it'll taste bad."

Bella shook her head, a small smile crossing her lips. "Jeeze, Gwen."

"Okay, I'm way too full for the rest of this," I announced, realizing I'd been just pushing half of my food around on the plate for the past few minutes.

Bella glanced at my plate, and then back at me, her face pensive. "You've only eaten a little bit. Sure, you're not hungrier?"

 _This coming from the girl her who used to eat like… two bare-minimum meals a day! I'm glad she's coming back to herself. She's getting to be more like the cousin I remember. Awkward, yet caring._

"Little one's been eatin' like a bird since halfway through our stay in Port Angeles," Peter informed her, butting into the conversation. "It's probably the venom, trying to do it's work on your stomach."

"That is most likely true," Carlisle said, nodding at Peter. "I'm afraid there is a lot it could do or be doing without a full answer. No one has ever examined someone changing slowly before. And no one is about to start now. As curious as it is, Gwen's safety should come first."

I smiled at that. I hadn't expected to like the Cullen family as much as I was. In my head I hadn't had a clear picture of them, just that they'd really done a number on my cousin before I came to town. Now that I knew them and their secret, I could really see them for who they were. They were caring people, even for vampires. They were just trying to live their eternal lives as happily as they could, as a family.

Edward threw a small, kind smile at me, hearing my internal musings.

Once Bella was finished eating, we helped Esme clear the table and then we all sat around the dining table once more. Peter and Charlotte stood off to the side, both leaning up against the wall. Peter caught my wandering eyes and gave me a grin and a thumbs up.

 _What a dork._

I was too busy watching him and my foot caught the edge of Bella's chair. I waited to feel the sharp pain of hitting the hardwood floor, but it didn't come. Instead, I ended up in Jasper's arms again. He'd quickly swooped my collapsing body up the second I started to fall, my body tucked carefully against his chest.

For a moment, my insides swooned. I felt a warmth in my belly, burning softly as another small heat spread across my cheeks. I rarely blushed, not like Bella always did, so it was weird for me to be blushing so often around this weird vampire. Something about touching him, and being pressed right against him, made me body just about melt.

 _Stop being weird, body. You've already got too many problems._

"I thought Bella was supposed to be the clumsy one?" he questioned, quirking a brow at me.

 _His breath smells like gentle mint. Nice._

"Well, little do you know that I totally meant to do that," I lied, folding my arms over my chest as he set me back down on my feet. "I was just testing you."

He gave me an amused look, chuckling softly to himself as he watched me turn back around to get into my chair. I could practically feel my ears burning. I didn't know how to handle him, not like I did with everyone else. Usually, I dealt with people fairly well. I just kept my same, weird attitude and they either took to it or they didn't. But being around him made me feel more grounded, more aware.

"Okay, are we ready?" Carlisle asked, glancing around the room as Bella and I sat down once more at the end of the table.

"Yep," I said, popping the 'p' as I leaned forward on my arms.

Carlisle nodded. "Alright. So, assuming you want to speed up your change, Gwen, before it settles in on its own, we've decided that in a week you'll be taken up to an area in Canada. We have a homestead there away from the civilization, so you'll have more freedom to get used to your new body."

I felt my heart sink. A week. One measly week before I'd enter eternal life. That sounded so _soon_. But I knew that I didn't want to face the aspect of the longer change. It'd been made out to sound painful enough to scare me a little, and I definitely didn't want to burn for a month. I wanted to just get this over with and start adjusting to what I was to become.

 _Healthy. You're going to become healthy, remember? Never sick again, able to do anything and everything you've always dreamed of doing. Just with the small inconvenient side effect of wanting to drain people of their blood._

"Okay," I whispered. "Yeah, I don't want to go through the long change. It sounds painful enough as it is. So, who is going to take me?"

I couldn't stop my eyes from gazing towards Peter and Charlotte, almost expectantly. They were the closest friends I had amongst the vampire's in the room, and I knew I'd have a comfortable experience with them. They were knowledgeable, smart, and they were my friends. But one look at their faces and I knew that they wouldn't be the ones to change me.

"Jasper will be the one to take you," Carlisle informed, and I tried to keep a straight face as my heart flipped around in my chest. "While the rest of us must keep up our appearances here for our official move back, Jasper has volunteered to be 'away at college'. He's got plenty of experience with newborns, and has the best excuse to not be here with us."

Charlotte noticed how my face must've fallen, and she stepped up. "Don't worry, we're sticking around. At least for the time being. We may go back home to get some things, but we want to see you after you change. Maybe we can even visit you while Jasper's helping you through your newborn stage."

"Can't get rid of us that easy," Peter chuckled, quoting what I'd told Bella before.

I smiled, grateful I'd have at least some familiarity once I was one the other side. "So, what can I expect? Changing, I mean. You keep saying 'newborn', which I assume is just a recently changed vampire, but I have no idea what that all entitles."

Carlisle shared a look with Jasper, and then looked back to me. "We'll leave the teaching to Jasper. You two can talk later about what the change will entail along with being a newborn. It can be a little to take in."

Shrugging, I leaned back in my chair. I didn't have too much of an opinion to input. It wasn't like anything I felt really mattered, because it was going to happen regardless of how I felt. However, knowing Jasper was going to be the one to take me away and change me, was making my stomach flip flop around like a fish on dry land. I felt nervous.

At the end of the night, it'd been decided. The vote was unanimous, and Bella would be changed after her graduation, and if Edward didn't step up to do it, Carlisle himself promised that he would change her. She'd explained herself in better detail then. She wanted to join them as a family member, because she cared for all of them. It wasn't just Edward that she'd missed, she had missed the family as a whole.

As they spoke, I could see the remorse on all of their faces. Well, not really Rosalie's, but I hadn't expected to see that, either. They'd only been following Edward's wishes and had been hoping he would change his mind and return sooner, after he felt how awful the rejection of the mating bond felt. He'd been determined, though, so that hadn't happened, and now they were left to make amends with the piece of their family that they'd left behind.

I didn't really know how to feel about it. Her soul mate was immortal, of course she would want to join him. But, I was feeling a bit bitter. I hadn't had a choice, and if I had, I wasn't sure if I'd chosen the fate I was about to have. Maybe if I were in her shoes and had an immortal soulmate, but I didn't.

But, it also wasn't like I had _too_ much to give up. I already couldn't have children, and my family already believed I was either gone on my own or dead. Honestly, I was getting a better hand than I'd previously thought I'd been dealt. It had its down sides, but there were a lot of positive things I had to look forward too.

I wondered what would've happened if I hadn't asked Janette to take me with her to the city. Would I have lived a long, boringly normal life, with kids and a goofy husband? Or would the supernatural found me at some other corner in my life? It was hard to tell, but I couldn't dwell on it too much.

I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and ended up with a case of vampirism.

* * *

"Okay, so how painful is painful?" I asked Jasper, right after I'd settled down on the couch in his study.

Everyone had dispersed after the meeting, and Edward had offered to drive Bella back home. She said yes, and to which he looked very happy about. He seemed to realize that in order to build his relationship back up with Bella, he'd have to take it step by step and let her breath out her feelings. Otherwise, he'd be getting more lamps thrown at him.

Jasper leaned against the desk casually, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans. In the dark, his amber eyes almost seemed to glow. He was so still he almost looked like he was made of porcelain. No, marble. Carved smooth and to complete and utter perfection. It was hard not to stare with someone as gorgeous as him in the room.

 _Stop gawking stop gawking stop gawking._

"Do you want the blunt answer or the gentle answer?" he asked me, his tone holding zero playfulness. He was definitely about to give me a laydown I wasn't going to particularly like, that I could tell.

"Blunt," I told him seriously.

"It'll feel like you're burning alive from the inside," he answered, his tone a bit grim. "You'll be aware, it isn't like sleeping. You'll be stuck in your own mind, aware of the burning and the pain."

"That's… a little terrifying," I admitted, a chill going down my spine at the idea of being trapped in my own mind for a few days. "But, at least it won't be extremely long. Onto the next question, then. What should I expect, waking up?"

"Before that," he replied. "You'll want to try and go through as many of your memories while you're changing. The change causes many vampires to wake up hardly knowing who they are. Some gather some things back as they come out of their newborn years, others go the rest of their lives not remembering more than pieces of their human lives."

That worried me almost more than the idea of burning. I didn't want to forget my human life. Sure, it was a bit shitty being hospitalized so much and spending four years sick, but I had so many precious things I wanted to remember. My family in Montana, Charlie and Bella, things about my birth mom, and all the things in life I'd experienced that made me, _me_. I didn't want to lose that, or myself.

A soft calmness settled over me, a little warm fire in the pit of my belly.

 _There it is again._

I glanced at Jasper, who was looking at me very intently. The sheer intensity of his gaze nearly threw me off. I couldn't fathom why he looked at me like that, or why whenever I was around him my emotions went completely haywire. I was never, ever one to just _calm down_ when I had panic attacks. I always had to go through the motions and then slowly simmer down. Around him, they would vanish almost without a trace after they started.

"There's a possibility that you'll remember a lot, Gwen," he consoled, his voice drawing me away from my musings. "I'm just warning you that there is a chance. Going through your memories helps. At least, that's the conclusion we've come to."

I nodded. "Okay, got it. And after it's over? The burning, I mean."

"That's the hard part," Jasper continued. "Newborns are all very different, yet very alike. There's a chance you'll stay poised, remember part of yourself and just end up confused by the differences you'll notice. Or, you'll wake volatile. Either way, you'll wake up with an insatiable thirst that you will have very little control over."

"I wouldn't attack anyone," I asserted, my brows furrowing at the accusation. "I don't want to hurt people."

"You won't have a choice," he said. "While you are a newborn, your instincts are a lot more in control than you are. Even if you wake up more civilized. It's like living in a constant state of 'fight or flight'. You'll perceive almost all vampires as threats, or as challengers to your meals. And at the first smell of blood, human or not, there is a good chance you'll snap. Especially the first time."

I sat there for a moment, stunned to silence. All the pep talks I'd given myself about wanting to pursue the Cullen diet could end up being in vain. If blood would call to me so much that I would throw all morals out the window, what could I do to stop myself? I wouldn't know until it happened, but I didn't even want to go down that path. The idea of having no control over myself and killing somebody innocent was absolutely terrifying, and deeply disturbing.

"Has everyone… slipped… before?" I asked, tentatively.

Jasper nodded. "Everyone except Carlisle. He is the only vampire I've heard of that's never tasted human blood."

 _No wondering I couldn't imagine him eating someone, the guy's literally a vampiric saint._

I chuckled at the thought, and could practically feel the amusement coming from Jasper as he watched me muse to myself.

 _Literally, I can feel something._

"Is that _you_?!" I blurted incredulously, staring at him in confusion. "I keep feeling a bunch of weird emotions around you. Maybe I'm just starting to go crazy from all the vampire juice in my veins, but I swear to god every time I'm around you my emotions go all weird."

Jasper laughed, the seriousness of his face clearing away with the chuckle. "Looks like you won the bet, angel. That is me. You caught onto that faster than I expected. Though," he added, amused, "I was laying it on a little thicker for you to see if you'd guess it."

 _Angel?_

"So, what, you get all freaky with people's vibes?" I questioned him, admiring the way his face lit up when he laughed.

"I'm an empath. I can feel the emotions of others around me and can also project my own if I wish," he admitted, looking even more amused at my description. "So, yes, I get 'all freaky with people's vibes'."

"It sounds weird when you say it," I told him, a teasing grin spreading across my face. "You sound like an old man trying to use words like 'hip' and 'groovy'."

He glared at me, but there was a smile breaking out on the corners of his lips. "I thought young people were supposed to respect their elders?"

"Eh, you're not _really_ that much older than me… what's a couple hundred years, give or take," I laughed, and slowly moved to spread myself across the couch. "Now, I think I've had enough of How to be a Vampire 101. Can we pick this up closer to when I change? That was I don't worry myself into anxiety any more than I already am."

He shrugged. "Sure, that's alright with me."

"Good," I breathed, staring at the ceiling. "Because I'm getting itchy anyway…"

We sat in silence for a moment. It was a little awkward, especially with the crawling beneath the skin of my leg. I wanted to scratch, but I also didn't want to look like a lunatic in front of this man. Not that that would save face for me in any sort of way, but still.

I finally broke the silence. "So, what's your favorite color?"

He blinked. "What?"

"Favorite color!" I demanded with a grin, waving a hand at him to make him produce an answer. "Come on, if we're going to be spending a lot of time alone together, I want to know more about you. Might as well as start with the basics. Even if I turn into a blood thirsty people eater and don't remember half of it, at least I made an attempt."

Jasper shook his head in amusement, another short laugh escaping him. "You're... such a strange human."

"Says the vampire!" I threw back, huffing and folding my arms over my chest.

He raised a brow. "Ladies first."

"Hmm…," I contemplated. "I'd say green. Either mint green, olive green, or a forest green, it's a tie between the three. But, overall, my favorite is just green."

"Green it is," he agreed, then pondered for a brief moment. "I've always enjoyed burgundy or bronze. Darker, earthy tones. Can't really say I've ever picked a favorite before."

"You are such a vampire," I laughed, throwing my head back. " _Dark, earthy tones to match my dark, brooding soul, mwua ha ha ha._ "

He rolled his eyes. "Well, some of us believe that we no longer have a soul, so that might be a little incorrect."

"What?" I questioned, my voice going up in pitch. "Who the hell believes that? I sure as hell don't, that's just silly."

"Edward believes we are damned, that we lost our souls when we were turned," Jasper explained, but didn't really look like he believed the notion himself. "I can't say for sure. I was never very religious."

"Edward's a twat," I retorted, grumbling softly to myself and sinking further into the couch. "He's lucky Bella's too nice for her own good. If he'd done that shit to me he'd be in the dog house for a decade."

"I agree," Jasper nodded, and ran a hand through his honey colored hair. "I should've told him from the beginning that what he was doing would cause more harm than good, I just figured he would learn for himself. I honestly don't know how he stayed away for so long. I know I couldn't do that to my own mate."

"I thought you hadn't met your real mate? Alice explained that you and her were just companions, not actually mated," I voiced, confused, and felt an ugly twist of jealousy somewhere inside my gut.

Jasper looked almost nervous, and the moment he opened his mouth the door burst open.

I jumped, watching as Peter waltzed in like he owned the place, and perched himself over the back of the couch, his muddy red eyes looking down at me with mock anger. "Okay, I give up, little one. I can't get through this temple and I need you to do it for me, otherwise I'm gunna throw the damn thing and I don't think either of us want that."

I chuckled, reaching up for him expectantly. "Fine, fine, I'll show you how it's done. I don't remember it step by step but I think I remember enough to get you through."

Peter easily gathered me into his arms, and looked over to Jasper. Jasper had an almost relieved look when Peter had burst in, but it'd changed to a hard stare as he watched Peter pick me up and into his arms. It was almost like he was watching to see if Peter hurt me, which was ridiculous considering Peter was my friend.

"Don't you think our question game is over!" I shouted over Peter's shoulder. "And don't forget, you now owe me a favor because I guessed your power!"

Jasper huffed softly, closing his office door behind him and trailing after Peter and I.

"All deals are a double-edged sword, my dear Jasper," I goaded, a grin spread across my face. "You should've read the fine print before you agreed!"

"There was no paperwork involved in this," he muttered, but his face was amused as he followed us both down the stairs and back into the family room.

"Well, there should've been," I stated simply.

Peter chuckled. "Sounds like you're stuck, Major. Better muscle up whatever strength you've got, this one has a weird mind and I don't even want to guess what kind of wicked shit she'll cook up for you to do."

I cackled mischievously as Peter plopped me onto the love seat and perched himself next to me. He produced my 3DS from his pocket and I started to guide him through the water temple, trying to recall what you had to do too get further in than he already was.

Jasper settled on the couch next to Emmett, and started playing Battlefield with him. From time to time, his eyes would drift over to Peter and I. I could see it from my peripheral vision, and each time it sent a little thrill down my spine. I don't know what he was looking for, or why he was watching us, but something in me almost felt pleased that he was checking up on me. Maybe I was just happy to know someone was looking out for me, but that didn't make much sense considering I had a whole coven of vampires practically doting on me, even when I didn't want it.

 _He's just a nice guy. A little rough around the edges, but nice._ I told myself, trying not to glance back at him.

It was like some sort of weird pull. I wanted to look back at him, confirm to him that I was fine. I'd never such a need to reassure someone of something as little as sitting next to a friend, but there was something very, very strange about Jasper. I had no clue what it was, but something about him made me feel things I'd never felt before.

 _He's got a mate, somewhere out there. He just hasn't met her. I gotta get this weird feeling to stop._

I let myself get distracted with helping Peter through the water temple, but I was miles away. I couldn't get my thoughts to just shut up. I almost felt bad for Edward when he came back, because he probably got instantly assaulted by all the scattered and incessant thoughts tumbling around inside of my brain.

Peter and I played video games hours into the night, until I was actually falling asleep on his shoulder. I felt someone jostle me a little, and I mumbled something a bit incoherently, as I was just on the edge of a good sleep for once. They stopped, and I drifted away into the darkness just as someone gently lifted me into their strong arms.

* * *

The end of the week came faster than I had anticipated. Bella had visited every single day after she got off of school, and towards the end of the week it was hard to tell if she was there to see me or Edward. It seemed he was mostly forgiven, but she was still having a hard time letting go of the trauma he'd dealt her. But, it was good to see her coming around.

She was there that Saturday, standing close to Edward and watching as Emmett, Peter, and Jasper loaded up the truck we were taking into Canada. Edward had his arm over her, and she was gently tucked against his side. She looked more content that way, a lot more content than I'd seen her the whole time I'd spent with her.

"God, that week went by so fast," she muttered, and I nodded softly.

"Yeah, time usually flies when you're not wanting it to," I replied, feeling a knot in my stomach. After this move it would be just Jasper and I for who knows how long, learning to be a vampire and learning how to control myself enough that I could be around humans.

Her eyes glanced at me, concerned. "Are you okay?"

I shrugged. "What's not to be okay about? I'm going to live."

"You almost sound like you don't want it," Bella said softly.

"No, no," I denied, shaking my head softly and causing a few loose strands to fall out of the delicate bun Alice had twisted my hair into. "I do. I know this is the life I have to live. I'm just thinking about Charlie, and my family in Montana. I know I will never be able to see them again, for their own sake of never getting involved in the supernatural. But, it's hard."

"Charlie's been talking to Lukas and Janette every week," Bella explained, even though this was something she'd already revealed to me. "They've sort of bonded over it. They've come to the conclusion that you've made peace with your death, and that they should respect that and come to terms as well. I don't know about the twins, though."

"I don't know if I even want to know," I replied sadly, unable to keep them grimness out of my voice. "Those two loved me to pieces, and I loved them the same. I can't imagine how they feel losing their big sister like this."

Edward gave me a sad smile, his hand gently rubbing at Bella's shoulder in a comforting way. "You can always check in from time to time, from afar. We could always get someone to tap into their records so you can see how they're fairing in school, or even anonymously donate some funds for their schooling. Little things like that."

"You guys could really do that?" I asked, my voice a bit soft. "I don't have any money left, really. I didn't get to take it with me when Peter and Charlotte had to take me away."

"Charlie found it," Bella intervened. "He sent your wallet and a lot of other personal things back to Montana, so that they could hold onto it."

Carlisle suddenly came out of the house, obviously hearing what we'd been talking about. Esme was at his side in an instant, and the two nearly walked in perfect grace and unison. "Actually, Esme and I had already pulled some strings. I hope you don't mind, Gwen."

"What do you mean?" I asked, my brows drawing close.

"We made it seem like they won a trip to Scotland, so that the family could get away for a while and make some memories together with the twins," Esme revealed, smiling at her mate in admiration. "It was Carlisle's idea. We just had to pull a few strings to make it look like a local contest and get it all set up for them."

"I… I can't." God damnit, I couldn't form words. I was deeply touched by their caring nature, especially towards myself and a family they'd never even met before. They were deeply compassionate people, that was for sure.

 _I'm not going to cry, I'm not!_

Esme whisked over and enveloped me into a tight, motherly hug. She didn't say anything, she didn't need to. I felt better just getting to finally hug out some of my feelings, especially since they'd been bottling up as of late. I'd come to the quick conclusion that Esme hugs were the best kinds of hugs.

Carlisle watched us with a fond smile across his face, and then he glanced over to Edward and Bella. "Also, Bella. We wanted to make up our absence to you, so we've got a short family trip planned after Jasper and Gwen leave. I believe Alice is talking to Charlie about it as we speak, seeing as it would go smoother coming from her rather than Edward."

Edward winced. "I'm definitely not his favorite person…"

Bella snorted out a laugh, and I grinned. "That's the understatement of the year."

Jasper and the other boys wandered over, seemingly having everything tarped over and strapped down for the drive. Jasper wandered to my side, and he was almost close enough for our skin to touch. The spot just where we would've been touching nearly hummed with a flush of heat, almost like my body were reaching for him subconsciously.

"We're strapped in and ready to go," he told me, and then looked to his family. "I'll make sure to give you updates as we go along. We should make it there halfway through the second day."

Esme came forward to wrap her adopted son in a hug, and he returned it quickly. "Okay. Drive safely, and make sure you let us know when you arrive. Carlisle called for the water and electricity to be turn on, so everything should be running once you get there."

I turned to Bella, who looked like she was trying very hard to conceal her emotions. I nearly laughed at the almost constipated look on her face, but couldn't really bring myself to be super snarky. Again, we would have to part, and while this time it was of my own volition, it would be indefinitely. I had no idea when I would be safe enough to be around my cousin again.

We hugged, and I felt her squeeze me hard. "Thank you so much, Gwen. For being there for me. I know it wasn't easy."

"You're damn right it wasn't, you brat," I mumbled into her jacket, and I felt a chuckle shake through her.

"You're going to make a great vampire, okay? I know it won't be too long before we see each other again," she affirmed, and it sounded more like she was talking to herself instead of me.

"You're going to make a good one, too," I told her, smiling at the look that crossed her face.

I bid the other Cullens goodbye. Emmett rejected my simple good bye and came forward to lock me in a bear hug, which I very weakly returned. It was a little heart-warming. I wasn't super close any of them, not at the moment, but I could see the goodness in them and I could at least call them friends of mine.

When it came to stopping next to Peter and Charlotte for their goodbyes, I almost felt homesick at that very second. I'd been with these two for so long, they were practically ingrained into my life. It was like I was moving far, far away from two of my best friends. I'd had best friends in Bella and in Jacob, but I'd connected more deeply with Peter and Charlotte. They'd saved me, taken care of me, and even defended me. They were good people.

"Here, little one," Peter said, holding out my 3DS. "You might need it more than I will. Jasper can be a little boring."

I giggled as Jasper threw a glare at his friend. "Nah, you keep it, okay, Peter? Besides, I might break it with my new super human strength once I turn. You need to go save the damn kingdom already, god knows everyone has to be exhausted watching your loose headed Link running around all over doing nothing."

He mocked glared at me, but reached forward to ruffle my curls gently.

"Not the hair!" I complained, batting his hand away.

Charlotte giggled, and then swooped me into a hug. Even though her skin was cold, I could feel the warmth behind her hug and I was quick to wrap my arms around her. "I'm going to miss you! You're going to do great, though. You're in good hands, and we'll see each other again before you know it."

Everyone kept telling me that. That I was in good hands. I had no idea what made Jasper more capable than the rest, but it almost felt like an excuse for something. For me, it just didn't add up as to why Peter and Charlotte couldn't take me. Forks didn't even know them, there was no need to excuse their absence. Yet they went along with the Cullen's plan to ship me off with Jasper, which just felt odd to me.

It was like some little secret that was floating around, just outside of my knowledge. Even Bella seemed perfectly okay with the idea of Jasper taking me to change me. I didn't have a clue as to what I could be missing or misunderstanding, but I wasn't going to let it slide. I'd tried prying into several of the vampires through the week as to why, but I got walled every time.

I gave everyone one last wave, and then turned to see Jasper opening the passenger door for me. He held his hand out for me to take, his golden eyes practically burning into me. I took his hand, and felt that warm hum of electricity pulse through our touching skin once more. I'd started getting used to it, but I still couldn't understand it.

Jasper helped me into the truck, supporting my weight with ease and then within a second was sat in the driver's seat next to me.

The truck was tall and big like Bella's, but was a much more current model. It didn't make too much noise when he started it up, unlike Bella's which coughed, sputtered, and roared the whole way down the road.

Once we were down the road, I instantly started fiddling with the radio. I locked on to the clearest rock station and turned up the tunes.

"So, you prefer rock, then?" Jasper asked, watching as I leaned back from the radio and rested against my seat.

I nodded. "Yeah, Lukas was an AC/DC junkie and I grew up listening to them and bands like that. Ever since then I've had a better taste for rock and roll over everything else."

"I saw them in concert a couple times," Jasper mused, and my eyes nearly bugged out of my head.

"What?! That's not fair at all," I groaned. "I've never even been to any concert, let alone to concert of a legendary band like that."

Jasper smirked, but his gaze didn't wander away from the road. "I've seen quite a few concerts throughout the years. A lot of them I went to alone, or Emmett would come along with. The rest of the family aren't very big fans of rock. Though I do catch Carlisle listening to it sometimes."

"I bet you're also a country fan," I accused, watching his lips twitch a little. "You are! That's okay, though. I'm not a fan myself, but I can stomach listening to it enough to let you have some tune time on the radio."

He raised a brow, glancing at me from the corner of his eyes. "I thought this was my truck? Who said you get to control the radio?"

"Me, myself, and I," I announced, grinning as he chuckled. "Let me guess, Alice always wanted to listen to pop music?"

Jasper suddenly looked a bit more sour, which confused me. I knew he and Alice were no longer together, but I'd figured they'd ended on pretty decent terms. They still seemed to be very good friends, so I don't know why bringing her up would dampen the mood for him. "Yeah… she did. Pop and some of that weird rapper…"

"That's a pretty vague statement," I chuckled. "There are a whole lot of _weird rappers_."

We chatted on an off for the first few hours of the drive. I was happy that he was talking back to me, it would've been deathly boring to sit in near silence. Don't get me wrong, I loved just listening to the music, but it would've been pretty awkward if neither of us talked for the whole drive into Canada.

"So, I've decided what I wanted to make you do for me winning our bet," I told him out of the blue, as I stared out the rain covered windows.

I always loved watching raindrops fall down the window. I'd always pick one and then watch it race the others, mentally cheering on my little rain drop to be the first one to reach the bottom. I'd done it since I was a kid, and never quite grew out of it. It was almost calming, even when I felt like my lungs were about to collapse.

"Yeah?" he intoned. "And what would that be?"

"I'm going to pass on Bella's assignment to you," I replied happily. "Since you've been put in charge of human slash newborn vampire sitting."

He looked to me, his brow raised. "And what kind of assignment did you give Bella?"

"So, I'm not technically dying anymore," I admitted. "But, I think there is still a few things I want to experience before I turn into a vampire. Bella and I were trying to make the most of my life by doing lots of fun and exciting things, so that I could really go out with a bang. I just wanted to enjoy the time I had before death. Now, I wanted to do that before vampirism. I want to experience some things human. Like… I don't know, like climbing a mountain."

"You can't climb a mountain, Gwen," Jasper replied, his tone amused. "You can't even climb stairs."

"No, I can't climb a mountain, captain obvious," I snarked back, unable to stop the chesire cat-like grin spreading across my face. "But… you can."

* * *

 **Of course Gwen mischievous ways are back full speed.**

 **I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, and thank you so much for the support. Thanks for sticking through my writers block!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello, I am not dead, the story is still happenin'! Sorry guys, rough couple of weeks on my end.**

 **Hope you enjoy the chapter! Lots of Gwen/Jasper Fluff!  
**

* * *

Chapter 14

* * *

 _"I'm not going to make a big deal about a few tummy flutters because...dead people, old people, even furniture would get butterflies if they met this guy."_

 _\- Anne Eliot_

* * *

I woke up with my head leaning against Jasper's thigh.

I'd barely even registered that I'd fallen asleep towards the end of the night, after we'd driven through the whole afternoon and well into the night. Well, Jasper drove and I manned the radio along with annoying the shit out of him with unending questions. It actually hadn't seemed to annoy him, though. He actually seemed to enjoy my company, which I could definitely say was a sentiment I returned.

Rubbing my eyes blearily, I sleepily patted my pillow to fluff it and was mortified to realize I was patting Jasper's jean-covered and well-toned thigh.

"Oh, shit!" I scrambled up into a sitting position, scooting back over to my side of the cab. "I'm sorry."

Jasper watched me, his face amused as he probably felt the mortification and embarrassment pouring out of me. I don't think he even had to be an empath to really feel that. His gaze was a bit soft though, like he'd been enjoying the peace and quiet in the cab. He was probably just sad that now that I was awake I'd start jabbering again.

"You snore," he stated simply, and turned back to look at the road.

"Hey!" I complained. "It's not snoring, it's just loud breathing."

"Really? I thought you were trying to mimic a chainsaw," he chuckled, his amber eyes flicking between the road and my unamused face.

I frowned, and grumpily threw my empty Gatorade bottle at him. It hit him quite uselessly in the shoulder, and fell down to the floor of the cab.

He let out a laugh, shaking his head at me. "You're going to have to do better than that if you actually want to hurt me," he teased.

"Ooohhh, you just wait until I'm stronger than you for a year, mister," I threated, pointing a very threatening finger towards his face. "I'll get you back, Whitlock! Also, the human needs to pee so you might want to find another gas station."

He nodded, and once we'd come to the next gas station he pulled over. I took care of everything I needed too, and bought myself some more snacks for the road and some drinks. While I'd had no cash, Carlisle and Esme wouldn't let me leave without taking a little plastic credit card from them. It was sleek and shiny, and had 'platinum membership' stamped across the front in cursive. I'd been told to buy whatever I felt I needed, and then some, but I wasn't too keen on spending a whole bunch of other people's money.

We were back on the road in no time, and I was back at my mad DJing once again.

Jasper and I made it to the Canadian border at what had to have been some sort of record. I nearly freaked out at the border check, realizing I had not sort of passport or even a proper identification for myself. Jasper surprised me, however, when he produced two pristine passports for the man, and one was unmistakably me.

"How did you get a passport for me that quick, and without me?" I demanded, once we'd drove past the check and were back on the road.

"I have some connections," he said simply, and handed me my passport.

The passport was a fake, and I could only tell because the girl in the picture wasn't me. I'd never even gotten a passport before, so there is no way it was me. She could've been my damn twin, if she'd lost like twenty pounds and were a couple shades lighter. Aside from that, all the information on the passport was seemingly correct.

I sat back against the seat with a soft "huh" of interest. I pocketed the passport into my bag just in case I would need it for later purposes.

Jasper, however, was watching as I tried to calm the soft wheezing in my breathing. He face was concerned, watching I drank some water and tried to clear my throat some.

"My lungs feel a little tight," I admitted to him. "I wish I hadn't just had a nebulizer that needed a plugin."

He frowned, his face looking even more concerned now. His golden eyes glanced over me quickly, and then landed on my face. It really weirded me out how he could look aware from the road and not stray even the slightest bit from his lane. "Do you need me to stop? We could probably find a coffee shop or something that would let us stop for your treatment."

"No, no, I'm okay," I assured. "I'm not doing much moving around, so I'm doing okay. It's just tight. I'll let you know if I start getting dizzy or something, I promise."

Jasper's brows furrowed, but he nodded. "We'll be there in a couple more hours. Once we get out of the interstate we'll be too far to turn back and make it to a town in time. Let me know before then, okay?"

I waved him off, taking a few sips from my water before reassuring him once more. "I'm fine, I'm fine. Shouldn't have said anything, you worry-wart. I'm not going to keel over on you anytime soon, you still have to run me up a mountain, remember?"

My phone buzzed, and I pulled it from my jacket pocket. It was from Bella, and I couldn't stop the small smile coming to my face as I read her message.

 _'Hope the drive is going well. Edward said you guys should be there soon, as long as you've driven through the night. Peter says hi, he won't stop bugging me while I'm writing this. The family took us to a campsite for some real camping, not vampire camping. Should be fun, just hope I don't trip any more than I already have. Talk to you soon!'_

"It's Bella," I explained, feeling Jasper's curious stare wandering to me every once and while. "They decided to go on a camping trip, like a real one. That'd be like the prime trip, though. You guys could feed whenever, and Bella would be chill at the campsite."

"They won't feed while she's with them," Jasper explained. "Vampires, even animal drinkers, get a bit… territorial with food. We're not in our most calm, contained state of mind when we hunt. They would either have to go pretty far off to ensure they didn't smell Bella, or just wait until the trip is over."

"Okay, noted," I mused. "So, what… if I have a cup of blood, I can't drink it near Bella 'cause I'll get all possessive of my cup?"

"No," he chuckled. "Well, maybe as a newborn. But not normally. Excusing why you would have just a cup of blood, you wouldn't be hunting. It would be different. When you smell your food, and chase it down yourself for the first time, you'll understand. It's more like watching a lion stalk prey. All instincts, almost like autopilot."

"Noted," I replied, and I was glad that Edward wasn't around at that moment to peak into my crazy brain.

That analogy kind of stuck with me. A lion. Jasper reminded me very much of a lion. Beautifully untamed, wild yet gorgeous mane, and moved with an underlying power and unmatched prowess. He was actually quite the breath-taking person, at least in comparison to any of the other vampires. Something about him seemed a lot more intense to me.

We got along well, for two strangers thrown together into one weird situation. He handled me well, too. Had comebacks, teased me back plenty. I was getting along with him almost as well as I had been with Peter and Charlotte back when they 'kidnapped' me. But there was something different, something in my gut that practically pulled me to the guy. And it scared me, because I wasn't his mate. If I fell for all that charm, I'd end up broken hearted at the end.

 _I've never had a proper crush before. I think this is what that feels like. Great._

I felt a stab of sadness in my heart, and Jasper's head turned towards me, a small frown on his face.

"What's goin' on in that head of yours?" he asked, and I snapped out of my musings.

"Oh, nothing, just thinking about how you're going to backpack me up the nearest and tallest mountain," I replied smoothly.

He sighed loudly. "I still don't think that's a good idea."

"It's fiiine. What's the worst that could happen? I keel over and you change me a bit earlier than we had planned?" I comforted. "Besides, I won the bet fair and square and you already agreed to let me do some human things before you change me."

Soon, all signs of city life were past us. No more gas stations or rest stops, and I don't think we passed a single other car once we'd turned into the forest. There was nothing but trees on either side of us, for as far as my human eyes could see. I assumed this was the point of no return he'd been talking about, and I was glad we were almost there. I was ready to get out of the cab and stretch myself out.

Jasper nodded. "I did, but I figured it'd be something more teenager like. Drinking, or smoking."

"No thanks," I said, rolling my eyes. "Tried the drinking when I was sixteen, it was awful. And I'm not stupid enough to pollute my already weak lungs with any sort of smoke. I want to actually do something worth-while. Things I can think of while I'm changing."

"Don't you have some memories of your family? Aren't those plenty?" he asked, just as we turned down a beaten dirt road path.

"Yes, and no… I love my family and I love who I've become in life, I want to remember a lot of that. But I didn't really _do_ anything with my life. I never went on a date, never did anything exciting. Most exciting thing I remember was riding four-wheelers with Lukas when I was twelve. I want to have more to remember than sitting at home or in a hospital," I explained.

Jasper nodded in understanding, his face thoughtful. Sometimes I wished I'd had Edward's power. It'd be nice to tap inside this man's head every once and while, and really figure him out.

I was going to open my mouth to speak, but was stunned into silence as we drove through a archway of trees, and into a beautiful clearing. The house was a large log cabin-esque home with a dark cobblestone base. The roof was composed of several vaulted peaks, and I could see a few decks spreading out from the second floor. I could just barely make out a chimney stack poking out from the roof towards the back of the house.

The expansive yard needed mowed pretty badly, but that didn't deter from the beauty. The yard to the left side of the house sloped down into a hill, leading right down to a lake side shore.

It was like a small little paradise, hidden amongst the trees and completely isolated from human life. It was the perfect location and home for a coven of vampires. And a silly part-human, part-vampire, part-introvert like myself.

"Holy moly," I breathed, trying to take it all in as we slowly pulled up the drive. "Go big or go home must be the Cullen family motto, right?"

Jasper chuckled as he pulled the truck into the drive, as close to the four-car garage as he could get. "Well, there is seven of us. Soon to be nine. Plus, we have do occasionally have visitors, and while vampires technically don't need sleep, we still like our privacy. At least as much as we can get."

"It's beautiful. I gotta say I enjoy the more cabin-y look over the modern Forks house," I admitted.

"Agreed," he mused, killing off the truck.

In a split second he was opening my door and helping me out. I smiled at him gratefully as my arm gently wrapped around the back of his neck, and I could smell the faintest musk of cologne sticking to his shirt as he lifted me up and placed me back down on my feet. Our faces had been so close for just a split second, and that had been all it took to make my heart skip a beat in my chest.

I was left wanting to keep my face near his shirt, because I'd _really_ enjoyed how he'd smelled.

 _Stop it, stop being weird, and don't you dare fall for him. You're going to end up feeling foolish._

"Alright, let's get you inside so you can do a breathing treatment," he asserted, and reached into the cab to sling my bag over his shoulder.

"I can carry it, Jasper," I protested, and he shushed me.

I huffed, but followed him up the short set of stairs leading to the main entryway of the house.

It was midday, but this place seemed to be just as cloudy as Forks. It had actually stayed cloudy the whole ride up to this area, and that'd disappointed me a little. I'd been hoping to catch a peak at Jasper in the sun, so that I could finally figure out what was so damn special about them being in the sun. Peter had never actually come around to telling me, so I'd been left to figure it out on my own.

Once we were inside, Jasper closed the door and looked around with a sigh of relief. "Looks like Esme also called in a maid service to drive out and fix the place up some. I almost thought we were going to get stuck with dusting duty. Give me a second, I'm going to go get the lights on."

Jasper set my bag down on floor and was gone in an instant. I was practically used to the vampire speed now. It still startled me when the appeared out of nowhere, but if I knew they were around I could usually prepare myself for it.

I took a moment to look around, kicking off my shoes and walking past the entryway to into the family room. The vaulted ceilings were pretty impressive. It carpeted with a short and soft cream-colored fabric that my sock covered feet practically sank into.

The lights hanging above flickered on, and I jumped as I was suddenly bathed in a soft amber glow. I turned back to entryway and saw Jasper watching me, his face amused and his hand hovering next to the light switch.

"There's so much room for activities," I whispered to him, and drifted over to the sliding glass door on the other side of the room.

I could hear him moving some things around while I took a look out the door. The lake was rippling with the wind, lapping gently at the shore. It was a beautiful view.

Jasper had set up my nebulizer on the coffee table and got it plugged in. While I took me treatment, he took a look around the house to make sure everything was up and running and still in good condition. To me, it looked like no one had ever even left the home. Aside from the yard needing a trim, it looked like it was in perfect upkeep.

"Yes, everything's working fine," Jasper answer into his cellphone as he wandered back into the living room. "Yep, she's fine. Breathing's a little shallow so she's taking a treatment."

I glanced at him, holding the mouthpiece to my face weakly. He gave me a small smile, and I felt my heart jump. God, those golden eyes were way too intense on his face to be remotely fair to me.

Suddenly, he frowned a little. "Actually… we're not going to do it tonight. We had a little change of plans on the way over here. No, no, not a bad change, she's fine. Damn it Peter, shut up I can't hear Carlisle… She called on a favor of me, so we're going to play it by ear and keep her human for another week. If something happens, I'll change her right away."

"None of your business," he replied coyly, a smirk on his face. I assume Peter had taken the phone from whoever Jasper had been speaking with before.

Jasper laughed at whatever Peter had said, and I relished in the noise. While I'd gotten quite a few chuckles out of him, I'd not achieved a full laugh. It was a deep rumble, but it made his face light up from its usual aloofness and it was refreshing to see. I wanted to hear him laugh more, see his face so carefree.

He was hanging up just as I finished my treatment, clicking off the nebulizer just moment before he pocketed his phone with a long sigh. "That guy..."

I chuckled. "Peter? He's pretty funny."

"He's got an uncanny ability to get under your skin," Jasper said with a chuckle. "Always has had too smart of a mouth on him. Got him in lots of trouble more than once."

"How do you guys know each other? No one's ever fully explained that to me, just that you have been good friends for a long time," I questioned.

Jasper paused, his expression dropping slightly. He let out another sigh, and this time it was more morose. His amber eyes found mine once more, and I could practically see the wall he had built up between us. "I guess you'll end up finding out sooner or later… I'll tell you before we change you. Gives us some time to get the house in order and for me to set the story."

"Okay, sure," I replied, not wanting to push. I figured I'd accidentally stepped on a sore subject, and I'd let him tell me when he felt like it.

I got a room on the first floor, thank the lord. I spent my afternoon unpacking all of my stuff away into the dresser and closet. Alice had went shopping for me, and I couldn't say a whole lot of it was exactly in my taste. Thankfully, she'd taken Bella with her and Bella had managed to sway her into buying a few sets that suited my style a bit more.

When I got to the last duffle bag of clothes, I was confused. Because they definitely weren't my size, but they were my kind of clothes. If I'd worn them, they'd either slip over my bony shoulders or sag all over. Right on top, a slightly crumbled note was folded around the collar of a band t-shirt.

 _'You'll need these! You can thank me later! -Alice'_

I shook my head, smiling. The pixie was growing on me, that was for sure.

I took the duffle and shoved it into the bottom of the closet. I had no clue what she thought I needed bigger clothes for, unless we were going to be having some sort of visitor come and stay with us. That thought almost made me sad. While it was just a bit awkward being alone with Jasper, we were slowly becoming friends and I was enjoying the time we were spending together.

Shaking my head, I took my scissors and scored open one of the card board boxes Jasper had been periodically dropping at my door. I knew the Cullens had to have bought me some things, because I'd come to their house with nothing more than a large backpack full of things. Let alone four bags of clothes and a bunch of boxes packed full.

When the box was finally opened, and I got a look inside, I could hardly contain myself. I squealed loudly, and I nearly dove head first into it.

"What? What's happening?" Jasper snapped, suddenly appearing the door way with the most frazzled, yet alert look on his face.

"Look, look, look!" I cried excited, emerging triumphantly from the box. My arms were filled to the brim with movies. All sorts of genres, but there was a distinct increase in the amount of horror over all the other genres. They ranged from old classics to new releases that had just come out in stores. It looked like someone had went to Walmart and just started sweeping shelf after shelf into the cart. "They got me movies!"

Jasper started to laugh, but the stoic and alert look dropped from his face. "Jesus, woman. I thought something bad happened."

I grinned at him, plopping my arm load onto the bed. "Whoever did this is amazing, I love movie nights."

"Hmm," Jasper hovered over the box for a moment. "I'd guess it was Peter and Emmett, their smells are all over this box. Emmett had the bigger movie stash over everyone else in the home, especially the old horror stuff. Peter must've asked him to loan you some while you're here. It was a good idea on their part. Something familiar for you to watch. It'll help reconnect you to your more human side."

"This is so awesome," I gushed, digging through the box like an absolute madwoman. "But I don't like watching movies by myself, so you get the lucky title of my new movie buddy."

He chuckled. "Fine with me. Try not to lose your head again, though. You're probably going to find a lot more stuff in those boxes. I know the family wanted to make you feel as comfortable as possible."

As he left to continue unpacking the rest of the truck, I was discovering that he was very right. It seemed a lot of the Cullens had thrown together things to keep me occupied while I was going to be living in this new home. A couple boxes had been neatly stacked full of books, most of them brand new and a couple that looked years old and worn.

When I unpacked my original backpack, the one Charlotte had packed for me before my "kidnapping", I found there was something else inside. Alongside the picture of Bella, Charlie, and I at the lake, was another of my family in Montana and myself. It wasn't one I'd had gotten to bring with me before Peter and Charlotte had come to get me. I had had it in a scrapbook, one which I'd assumed Charlie had sent back to my adopted parents after I'd disappeared.

My eyes watered, and I didn't yell at myself this time. Instead I slowly moved to let myself sit on the plush burgundy carpet and hold the picture to my chest. It was all of us, a few years younger. It was when I was thirteen, a year before the vampire attack. Lukas had gotten a large raise with his promotion at his new job about a year prior, and the family had finally saved enough to move into a larger house that properly fit five people.

It was all of us standing on the trimmed lawn of our brand-new home, grinning at the camera. Lukas and Janette stood behind us, and I stood in the front with a twin on either side of me. We all looked so happy, carefree, and innocent. We'd gotten a new home to enjoy and explore and we'd be together forever.

 _And then I went and got bit by a vampire._

What would've happened if I hadn't gone with Janette to the city that day? Would I still be in Montana now? Attending college and working towards my dreams to some spectacular job? Maybe I'd be dating that dumb boy Harvey Flint, who'd grown up from the little jerk I'd punched into a rather dorky yet decent look teenager.

I laid my head in my hands. I didn't sob, didn't scream and punch. But I contemplated about how happy I would've been with a normal life like that. Of course, it was better than the life hospitals and never-ending tests and accumulating symptoms. But now, I was going to be immortal. I would be able to do things above and beyond what normal-Gwen would ever achieve.

 _They'll live their whole lives without proper closure. Sure, they assume I died. They believe I went off on my own somewhere to pass peacefully by myself. But when they get no call that my body was found, they'll wonder for the rest of their lives._

 _But maybe… maybe that's for the best. Instead of having them at my bedside, hearts shattering as they watch me fade before their eyes, they simply understand that I wanted to go. Not that that is the full, true story. But maybe it is easier on them this way._

I knew Jasper could hear me sniffling. He could probably smell the salt in my tears, too. But I think he knew that I needed time to myself, so he didn't intrude. I could hear his footsteps as he wondered through the house and unpacked things, but he didn't try to poke his head in the door and he didn't try to calm me down using his power.

I appreciated that. Because I needed to feel this. I needed to grieve over it in order to come to better terms with it, and I appreciated that he was willing to give me that sort of space. I felt bad for him having to listen to it, but at least he was gentlemen enough not to say anything when it was time for me to cook myself something to eat for dinner.

"I don't know how to navigate this kitchen," I announced, as I opened just about every drawer and cabinet to try and find a stupid skillet. "Didn't you just put some of this away when you filled up the fridge?"

Jasper chuckled and hopped up from his seat at the marble-top island. He calmly walked around and opened the one bottom cabinet I'd forgotten to check. And, lo and behold, skillets, pots and pans sat neatly within.

I stuck my tongue out at him and fished out a decent sized skillet.

"You know, if you just tell me what you are making, I could do it for you and you could sit down," he offered, watching as I wavered in place.

"You know… I'm going to take you up on that," I replied with a huff, and he helped me over to the bar stools to take a seat. "I wish I could walk more than a few feet without getting so tired. It wasn't like this before, I didn't have any trouble walking. Just running and stairs. I do feel better from how I was feeling back in Forks, though."

"I'm just making a grilled cheese," I told him as he assumed my position as the cook. "I'm not super hungry."

Jasper looked at me, and then down at the bread, butter, and cheese slices I had laid out on the counter. He shrugged, then proceeded to put the skillet on the burner, butter the bread slices, and put it all together with the cheese once the skillet had gotten hot enough.

"So," he began, as his back was turned to me while he cooked. "What did you want to do first?"

"Hmm," I hummed, kicking my feet against the barstool's legs. "I've got a couple ideas but I have to think them over. Aside from the mountain climbing, you're not getting out of that one."

He chuckled, flipping the grilled cheese over in the pan. "I've noticed."

"So, do you guys have any other vehicles here?" I questioned.

Jasper nodded. "We have a couple vehicles at just about every house we own, except a few. If we visit them often, we just take the regular vehicles we have at Forks. We actually don't stay here very frequently so there are some in the garage still. Some of Rosalie's projects and one or two of my own, I believe."

He turned, skilled it hand, and slid the grilled cheese onto a plate. He pushed it to me and then put the skillet in the sink. "I have another truck here and then a more recreational vehicle. I have my Harley here."

I dropped my sandwich, having burnt my finger in the hot cheese the second he spoke. I looked at him with wide eyes, a little grin spread across my face.

Jasper looked at me, amused. "And what's that mischievous look for?"

I chuckled. "Oh, nothing… I just figured out what I want to do first."

* * *

The morning was a little foggy, the kind that left dew over the lawn and made the air crisp. I woke up pretty content, after falling asleep at three in the morning and getting about four hours of peaceful rest. The Cullen wasted no expense, not even for mattresses they would never sleep on.

Jasper and I had spent the night watching a few comedy movies. We'd sat together on the couch, but on opposite sides. The whole time my body had thrummed like it was charged of energy, and I found myself wanting to shift closer and closer. I restrained myself, trying to ignore how odd he made me feel, even when he wasn't doing anything.

Once I was actually tired, he walked me to my room and disappeared into the house, presumably to whatever room was his. I fell asleep pretty instantaneously, and woke up ready for a day of motorcycle riding.

The garage was a little musty, even when Jasper had opened the doors the next morning to try and air it out. It wasn't messy, though. Tool boxes were neatly lined around the walls, along with a freezer near the entrance to the house. An old Jeep was parked to one side, and on the other there was a forest green truck.

I, however, had my eyes trained on the tarped bike visible in the back.

I stood, leaning against the truck, as Jasper walked forward to the bike. He tossed the dusty tarp off, and I nearly drooled. The bikes Bella and I had tried to salvage with Jacob were _nothing_ in comparison to the sexy, burgundy Harley Davidson that sat beneath the tarp. It still looked practically new, and the tarp had helped keep any dust from gathering.

"Whoa," I breathed, watching as he walked the bike out from the back of the garage.

Jasper patted the leather seat fondly. "I've only rode her a few times. No one else in the family ever cared to have one, so I only ever rode it by myself. Wouldn't let Emmett anywhere near it, either. He has a bad habit of being too rough with his toys."

"It's gorgeous!" I exclaimed, leaning forward to touch one of the handle bars.

"You've never ridden one before?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No. I told you what Bella and I were trying to do before Jacob turned into an asshole. But they didn't get finished, so we never got to ride them. I've always wanted to, though."

"Well, you're not driving," Jasper said sternly. "It needs a lot of control and I'm not going to risk you wrecking. But there is plenty of room for you to sit behind me."

I nodded, giving him an excited grin. "Fair enough. But once I become a vampire you have to promise to teach me how to drive it."

Jasper smiled, and it was a look that touched his golden eyes. "Of course, I'd be honored."

I felt my heart do a back flip, and I swallowed heavily. "Okay, so let's get this show on the road! I'm too excited to wait."

Jasper nodded, and then walked back towards the other end of the garage. He came back with a helmet, one that fully went around the head. It was the same deep burgundy as the bike, and it was clearly intended for me to wear.

"Here, just to be on the safe side," he said, holding it out to me.

"Aw, Jasper," I whined, not wanting to wear it at all.

He leveled me with a look. "Gwen, if something happens and we crash, my head isn't the one that'll need cushioning."

I pouted, but took the helmet without any more protest. I supposed he wouldn't agree if I didn't wear the helmet, plus he was only looking out for me in the end. I'd haven't plenty of vampire years to ride motorcycles with no helmet, so it was the least I could do for him.

Jasper hooked a leg around the bike and settled very neatly into the seat, his hands coming forward to hold the handlebars. I felt my heart give very strange jump, and it was then I realized he looked unbelievably sexy straddling the seat of the bike, his honey hair tousled like it always was, and his striking gold eyes staring at me intently.

"Gwen?" he questioned, raising a brow slowly as I stalled.

"Oh, yeah, bike," I replied stupidly, blushing slightly as I came forward.

So, when two people sit on a motorcycle, you don't get space. No such thing and completely impossible to remedy. The second I had myself straddled over the seat, I'd tried to put a little space between my front and Jasper's back. However, the second I let gravity take hold, I slid right into him.

My front pressed right into his back, and I could only bet he could feel my heart hammering in my chest, not only hearing it.

I quickly pulled the helmet on, securing it carefully and letting out a warm, shaky breath to try and calm myself down. I couldn't tell if I was nervous to ride the bike, or just realizing this whole ride I would be sandwiched up against this gorgeous vampire.

"Alright," Jasper began, twisting around just gently. I felt every move he made a little too intimately for my humility to handle. His hand grasped my jean clad leg, gently repositioning it. "Keep your legs here. Don't dangle them. I want you to hold onto me tightly. If I lean into a turn, you lean with me, okay?"

"Got it," I whispered, and was lucky he had vampire hearing because no other human would've heard me through the helmet.

Jasper turned, and I leaned forward to wrap my arms around his waist. That thrumming pull was rushing through my veins and making my skin tingle. Pressed up against him, I'd never felt more alive. There was no escaping it, we were pressed together like lovers and the second he turned on the bike there was even more energy around us, humming together with the motor of the bike.

 _Jesus Christ my heart is going to burst._

We started off slow, as the driveway wasn't paved. He slowly steered us back up the path to the highway, his whole body lax as he manned the bike like a natural. It was a calm, gentle ride despite the feelings that were racing through me.

I was so worried he'd feel all these emotions, that it would give something away and suddenly we'd have an awkwardness between us, but all of that melted away once we reached the highway. In fact, all my worries just vanished in that second.

Jasper accelerated once we were on paved road, and suddenly we were flying.

All the breath I'd been holding was released in a big puff of air, and I pressed my helmeted head against Jasper's back. I watched as the world around us melded into beautiful mixed colors, like smears of paint on an artist's palette.

It was so much more intimate than driving a car. You moved with the bike, felt every curve and turn. The way it rumbled made everything inside me come alive, but I could also say that was how I felt being pressed up against Jasper. It had become very hard to distinguish the two, but I had no time to think about it. I was on cloud nine.

I couldn't help it, I started laughing. I was overcome with joy, because it felt so freeing. We wound around turns and it would feel like the whole world would pause for a moment. It was a near invincible feeling, like nothing could touch us.

Jasper pulled over to the side of the road near a small ridge, overlooking a dip into the woods. Once we were stopped, I pulled the helmet from my head and I took in a deep breath of fresh air. There was a light wind, but nothing compared to the air that had whipped around us while we'd been riding.

He got off the bike, making sure the stand was in place before he took a step back.

"Well, angel, how was that for your first ride?" he asked, and I tried to pretend I didn't catch him calling me that name again.

"That was amazing!" I breathed, running a hand through my curls. "It's like flying. It is a lot more different than just riding in a car. You feel everything."

I leaned back in the leather side, my body still humming even though the engine had been turned off. I looked down into the little valley of trees, smiling at the utter peace that I felt. I was ready to go again, ready to ride forever with Jasper. Or, at least for another portion of the day.

Jasper leaned against the guard rail, and the sun outlined him like a portrait. God, he was a man worth capturing in a million pictures and paintings, yet none of them would ever do him proper justice.

 _What is happening to me? No crushing on vampires, Gwen. Out of the question._

"Ready for round two?" he asked from over his shoulder, before looking over to smile at me.

 _I'm screwed._

* * *

 **Here we are! It's a little shorter than I would've liked, but I wanted to get something out for you all. I felt bad having you all waiting so long for some content. I' can't make any promises that it won't take me a week or so for the next chapter, but I'm going to work hard to get a good, long chapter out for you guys. Thank you for your patience!  
**

 **Hope you enjoyed and thank you to everyone who is supporting me and the story!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Here we are! I hope you guys enjoy the chapter :D**

* * *

Chapter 15

* * *

 _"Because," announced Tristran, "every lover is in his heart a madman, and in his head a minstrel."_

 _-Neil Gaiman, Stardust_

* * *

Jasper and I spent nearly the whole day riding the Harley. We came back to the house three times. Twice for a breathing treatment, and once to feed my stupid human stomach. He'd wanted to stop after one ride around the area, but I'd begged him to drive longer. Even though all the excitement was stealing some of my air, I didn't want it to end. The pure, unaltered freedom that came from riding the Harley with Jasper was something I had never experienced before.

The day melted from noon to twilight, the sky streaking orange and pink hues across its canvas. I couldn't get the excitement out of my chest. It was like I was finally feeling what it meant to live a full life, and that had been just one afternoon. I couldn't wait for the rest of the week to come, but in that moment, I would've rode with Jasper until the ends of the world.

Or until we ran out of gas.

It was just starting to get chilly when we rolled back to the cabin, practically on just fumes.

Jasper stopped the bike and kicked up the stand, and hopped off with ease. I, however, took my time pulling off the helmet and taking in a deep breath of the crisp dusk air. I took in the sight of the house and the lake bathed in the pastel shades of the sky, and couldn't have felt more at peace.

"Well, I'll have to make a trip to town if we want to ride the Harley anymore," Jasper said with a chuckle, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched me rest against the leather seat.

I smiled at him, unable to keep the joy off of my face. "Honestly… this was one of the most amazingly fun days of my life. I know it's a simple thing, something lots of people experience all the time, but it was a big thing for me."

"I know," he murmured, nodding at me. "I imagine your parents and Charlie would've lost it had you got yourself a motorcycle on your own."

I bit my lip, and nodded. "Yeah… I know they just wanted to keep me for as long as they could. They love me, I know that. Wanted to protect me so I could live longer than I was expected to. But it was a bit suffocating at times."

Jasper watched me with an indescribable look, before he held out his hand.

I took it and let him help me off the Harley. It was a good thing he had fast reflexes, because my jellied legs gave a wobble and I about ate the asphalt. He quickly tucked me under his arm, his hand touching my waist. I was very aware of the feeling of one of his fingers grazing a spot where my shirt had risen just slightly, and the skin on skin contact had sent shivers down my spine.

"Sorry, gotta get my land legs back," I excused, chuckling to myself as he walked us back into the house.

He gave a soft laugh. "Don't worry about it."

"Jasper?" I murmured softly, grabbing at the doorframe as we passed through the threshold.

I gently pulled myself from his grasp, finally able to support myself. He let his arm drift away from me, back to his own side. I instantly felt colder without it.

"Yeah?" he breathed, not turning to face me.

"Thank you."

"Anytime, angel."

* * *

I decided I wouldn't ask Jasper about the nickname, because I didn't want to approach the topic.

It'd come to my acute attention that I had a crush on Jasper Whitlock, after only a couple weeks of us knowing one another. And it scared the hell out of me. Because I wasn't someone who wanted to just be a companion with someone while waiting for my soul mate. While it had been a relationship that had seeming suited Alice and Jasper and supposedly several other unmated vampire couples, I couldn't bare that.

If someone was going to be mine, I wanted them to be mine forever. I realized that I didn't really have a right to be picky, being the disaster that I was. But I wouldn't be able to handle having the person I loved suddenly leave me for someone else at the drop of a hat, and that seemed to be a very possible thing in the course of vampire mating. In turn, it wasn't something I wanted someone else to suffer in the event I found my own mate.

At least, that's how it'd been explained. When a vampire met their mate, they knew. Their smell was the biggest hint at first, but then it was the connection. I'd always connected Peter and Charlotte's relationship to a type of gravity, and that was a great way to explain mating. Because it tethered you, and you both lived for one another.

I spent the morning of the second day affirming to myself that despite my crush, I was not going to let myself get any more involved with Jasper than I already was. We could be friends, best friends, even, but I wouldn't fall for him anymore. It was only going to end up with someone, most likely me, hurt. I was not going to fall any harder for Jasper Whitlock, no matter what.

And God damn did he make that mission hard.

"We're back home now," Bella explained, over the phone. "Couldn't take too much time off school. Charlie was already pretty upset that I let the Cullens back into my life…"

"Can't say I blame him," I sighed, leaning against my headboard. "Supernatural relationships are definitely not something that would go over well with Charlie. He's a good dad, though."

"So, what are you guys going to be doing today, then? You said you guys ran all the gas out of the motorcycle," Bella asked, her voice curious. "I'm still jealous you got to ride one without me."

"I'm not sure. I think we're preparing for our hike tomorrow," I muttered, not letting on that I'd had yet to even talk to Jasper. I'd been in my room the whole morning, deciding that I needed to call Bella and get my mind off things.

"You mean Jasper's hike in which he carries you the whole way?" Bella chuckled, amusement in her voice.

I laughed. "Well, yeah, something like that. Hopefully I won't keel over on a mountain top, wouldn't that be something?"

"Not funny, Gwen," she said, but there was a light note in her tone. "So, how's the new cellphone working for you?"

I rolled my eyes. Before Jasper and I had left, Alice had given me a new cellphone, since mine had been shipped back to Montana along with the rest of my stuff. It was a top of line, brand new phone. I was officially on the Cullen cellphone plan, which was of course unlimited everything from internet, to texting and calling. I'd tried to tell her I didn't need all that, just a simple phone, but she hadn't even stopped to hear any of it.

Thus, I had a new phone.

"It's a lot more techy than my old one. I'm still learning how to do some stuff on it," I replied. "I suppose I couldn't have used my old phone even if I'd had it. My family would've had the number and I was connected to their plan. I guess this would've been the best option anyway."

"It's okay, she's trying to weasel her way into replacing mine, too," Bella said with a strained laugh. "One thing about the Cullens is that they don't seem to care if they spoil people. They like it, I think."

"Well, from what Esme and I talked about, they anonymously donate a lot. They can only do it so often, though."

We chatted a bit more, before I saw something out of the corner of my eyes. I glanced to the doorway and saw Jasper leaning against the frame, his eyes searching out mine expectantly. He gave me a smile once our eyes connected, and I felt my insides quiver.

"Oh, looks like I gotta go, Bella. I'll call you again before the change, I promise," I interrupted, and we said our goodbyes before hanging up.

"Can I help you Mr. Whitlock?" I asked in a mock posh voice, raising a delicate brow at him.

He rolled his eyes. "I'm going into town, for some gas and other stuff. I figured you might want to come with?"

"Sure," I replied, but didn't move to get up from the bed, a flush of embarrassment rising to my cheeks.

Jasper quirked a brow. "You comin'?"

"Uhhh, well," I babbled, fidgeting with the edge of the covers laid across my wait. "You see, I am without pants. And you're staring."

Jasper barked out a laugh, but turned around in the door way.

I peeled the warm covers backs, and my pale legs tingled as goosebumps spread across my skin from the rush of cool air. I quickly located a pair of jeans, along with my dignity, and slide them on quickly. I just finished buttoning them when Jasper finally turned back around.

"Let's get this show on the road," Jasper said softly, his golden eyes glancing over me quickly before he held out his arm for me to take.

The trip to town was pretty uneventful. Just another truck ride with me manning the radio. The nearest town was actually pretty far away from our little cabin in the woods, over an hour and a half of a drive. I assumed the Cullens preferred it that way, though. It would be a hinderance to have to constantly worry about humans stumbling upon their retreat, the place they wanted to be themselves.

Jasper got gas in the truck and filled up a couple canisters, while I'd went across the street and gotten a little bit more human food. Considering I still had almost a week left of human-hood, I would be needed more than the simple sum we'd taken with us from Forks.

It was the afternoon when something finally happened, though I'd severely wished that it hadn't.

Jasper and I had settled into our usual positions on the couch and we'd put in a movie to watch. The Princess Bride, which happened to be a favorite of mine. We were both chuckling and enjoying the movie when my body started to feel strange.

Well, my hand, in fact.

It was my right hand, the one that was closest to Jasper. While we weren't exactly sitting against each opposite ends of the couch, there was still a space between us. The space of friendship, as I'd began calling it. It was the space I needed to keep so that I would stop having a crush on Jasper and would no longer have to worry about having my heart broken or any other unnecessary relationship stress.

The reason, though, that my hand felt strange, was because Jasper's own hand had made a dangerous entrance into the space of friendship.

I felt my heart leap into my throat, and I silently pleaded that this boy _wouldn't_ take my hand. Not that I didn't _really_ didn't want to. I'd never even held hands with a boy that hadn't been my father or my younger brother. It was still something foreign and mildly intimate for me, something I'd never gotten to do before. Especially not with someone I actually liked. Of course I wanted to hold Jasper's hand and be closer to him, my body practically yearned for it at the times we were close.

But I wanted to protect myself, wanted to stop it before there was no going back.

I was becoming more and more aware of Jasper's slow movements, his intrusion into the space of friendship.

He had to hear my heart practically flailing around in my chest, had to feel my nervousness. But maybe he was just chalking it up to nerves. I was torn in two. One part of me wanted nothing more than to feel his cold hand in my own, feel the smoothness of his skin against mine. The other side fought back ravenously that I was only going to get myself into a mess, and get one or both of us hurt.

"I have to pee," I announced suddenly, just as his cool hand was about to cover my own.

Without looking at him, I hefted myself from the couch with about all the strength I had and hobbled out of the living room. Shame twisted at me insides, and I couldn't deny the clenching of disappointment that my heart was giving. He'd been close, too close.

I locked myself into the bathroom, which was silly considering he could just throw it off the hinges if he wanted, but it made me feel better.

 _Stupid stupid stupid. A guy actually likes you, what are you doing?!_

But that was just it. He liked me. If vampires mated, and mated for life, like I knew they did, I didn't want him to _like_ me. I didn't want to like him, I wanted to belong to him.

 _Whoa, there. Say what now?!_

But it was true. I was going to become a vampire, that was an absolute factor with no changing variables. But I didn't want to have fleeting romances while waiting for the one. I didn't want to just date other vampires, or even marry them, only to find out our relationship was just a back-burner replacement for the real thing. Call me old fashioned, but Janette had always told me not to date just for pleasure, but to date with the honest intention of considering the person the one I'd spend the rest of my life with. Not that a sickly little human like me had much of a choice, but as a vampire, it might be different.

I finally settled down a bit, and went to the bathroom to make some stupid illusion that I hadn't lied. Not like an immortal vampire would've noticed me pacing in the bathroom for five minutes _before_ I used it.

When I gathered the courage to reenter the living room, I was surprised to find it empty. The TV was paused, just a few seconds after when I'd bolted out of the living room as if the devil himself had been nipping at my heels.

After a bit of searching around the house, I finally checked my phone. Lo and behold, I had a text from Jasper.

 _'I went to go hunt, my apologies. We can finish our movie when I get back. Call me if you need anything'_

"Damnit," I whispered, my heart sinking.

I hadn't meant to hurt his feelings, but I think that was exactly what I'd done.

I gave a soft sigh, and then grumbled as I felt my leg begin to itch.

* * *

 **Jasper Whitlock**

* * *

"Damnit," I hissed, running a hand through my hair.

I shuffled around the dead body of the grizzly bear I'd tackled down, and growled silently to myself. I wasn't really that thirsty, but I was frustrated with myself and didn't know what else to do to try and tame it.

I'd tried to start slow. Hell, I wanted to start slow, because Gwen was still very human and fragile. She had to be feeling some sort of pull to me, that I was sure of, but since she was human she didn't fully understand the pull. She didn't feel the full effects like I did. I had to take that into account when she rejected my touch.

She had been conflicted. I could feel it pouring out of her. One side, eager and willing, and the other resistant and worried. In just that split moment I'd felt her internal war, and knew I'd acted too quickly. But, I didn't know how to approach her in a way that wouldn't cause this reaction. It _shouldn't_ cause that kind of reaction. I had no clue what could be causing her resistance.

With Alice, we'd known that we weren't mates and had just decided to have a relationship because we felt something for each other. It was easy and very fluid like. We weren't lonely, and we understood the mutuality of our relationship.

Gwen was the one I was meant to have, to spend my life with. And she walled me off at a simple handholding. I could feel the budding emotions in myself, aside from the protectiveness and care coming from out pull. But, maybe she couldn't feel it like I did. I knew her side of the pull was different, but maybe her emotions didn't call her to me.

That felt like a punch to the chest, and I felt a bit dizzy,

 _What if she rejects the mating pull?_

I'd seen enough in my years to know exactly what would happen. If Gwen rejected the mating pull, we would both suffer. But, very few vampires ever actually denied the pull. Mating was intimate, and fierce. While I'd only ever felt the motions in a back seat sort of way before I'd met Gwen, even then I couldn't deny the full intensity.

Meeting the other half of your soul was no laughing matter, nothing to take lightly. Usually, if one mate died, the other would follow very soon after. The Volturi were many things, but they did tend to take mercy upon grieving vampires that had lost their mate.

My phone started to ring, and I pulled it from my pocket quickly. I was having a moment of stress, sure, but I couldn't ignore my phone. If Gwen needed me, I had to answer. She was still human, still very vulnerable.

However, my heart sank slightly at the name flashing across the screen.

"What do you want, Peter," I deadpanned as I answered the call, knowing my brother was about to be very nosey.

"Tut, tut, Major," Peter whistled lowly. "Now, I don't mean to be a back-seat driver in your relationship-"

"But that's what you're going to do, right?" I asked, rolling my eyes even though he couldn't see me.

"Hey, don't blame me because ya' can't get a girl to hold your hand," Peter teased.

I growled. "This isn't funny, Peter. And tell Alice to stop giving everyone a play-by-play."

There was a shifting noise, and then Alice was speaking, her bell-like voice sounding amused. "I'm sorry, Jas! I had to, we wanted to help. Besides, I could also see that you're standing in the middle of the woods feeling sorry for yourself and I wanted to stop you before you turned out to be as mopey as Edward."

 _"Hey!"_ came Edward's indignant reply in the background, along with the soft peals of Bella's laughter.

Alice giggled, and I heard her call out an apology to our brother. "Anyways, stop beating yourself up! Bella told me Gwen's never been in a relationship. She's probably just as nervous about everything as you are."

"She wouldn't even hold my hand, Alice," I huffed, unable to admit my pride was slightly wounded.

Alice gave a soft sigh. "Can you blame her, Jas? She's never been with anyone before, and she's just found out a lot of information about the supernatural. Plus, she feels this strange pull to a man she barely knows. She is probably very confused."

"I don't want to just wait until she's a vampire," I explained. "It wouldn't be fair to her. To not explain what we are and change her. She'd wake up more confused, and if she's a wild newborn I might not be able to catch her if she bolts. Not without using some lethargy to damn near knock her out and you know I don't want to do that."

"Well, you still have the better half of a week," Alice chimed, and then hummed in thought. "You know, you could always just try talking to her more. I've seen you two, and while you're making progress together I think she still has a lot of questions about who you are. You could always ease into that before you try to approach the mate thing."

 _"Can I have my damn phone back, you rude little pixie? It was my idea to call him in the first place."_

Alice huffed in annoyance and there was a distinct sound of her blowing as raspberry (in Peter's direction, no doubt), and gave me a quick good-bye.

Another shuffle, and then Peter was back on the phone. "She's right, major. It's different than you both being vampires an' finding each other. While that would've been easier, this is how it ended up. You've gotta make the best with what you've been dealt, and go easy on her."

"She did say she's never had a date before," I mused, face twisting in thought.

"There ya go, Major!" Peter crowed. "That's a good way to start."

I huffed, nudging the dead grizzly's paw with the toe of my boot as I spoke. "Yeah, that'd be a start."

I rolled my eyes as the phone shifted again, but this time it was Charlotte who spoke up. "Jas, I just had a thought… We all know you haven't broached the subject of her being your mate yet. Have you considered that might be why she's blocking even your smallest advances?"

I froze. "No… I hadn't. I'm a fucking idiot."

"I wouldn't say that," Charlotte said lightly, but her humored tone didn't contradict me. "She probably doesn't want a relationship if she's afraid you're going to suddenly find your mate and break her heart."

 _So, I have to breach one of the most serious conversations with her before I can even get remotely anywhere with my mate? Great._

"Alright, alright. I'll tell her this week. I already promised her I was going to tell her my story before I changed her, so I guess I might as well as drop two bombs at once instead of one," I admitted, running my hand through my hair once more.

We said our good-byes and I began to make my way back to the cabin. I was just within hearing range when I heard it. I thought our meeting had been frightening enough, just finding my mate under the threat of a dangerous vampire. I hadn't succumbed to such a primal attitude in a long time. Even when I'd lunged for Bella, I hadn't lost as much control as I had the first time I'd met Gwen.

Something hit the floor with a loud crash, and then I heard Gwen's gentle sob and the sound of her body hitting the floor.

It felt like I'd been wearing a collar and leash, and someone had just given the end a hard yank. My whole body surged, and I was running faster than I ever had before. I was in the house before I could even register it in my frantic mind, and the next thing I was aware of, I was standing in the kitchen and looking at my mate in horror.

Gwen had had a seizure previously before, and that had been what had forced Alice to make us all move back to Forks. I knew my brother well, and when Alice had been on the phone with him during the episode, he was worried. He'd sounded angry, snapped like he was angry, but he had been very worried of Gwen and what was happening to her.

Now, I completely understood that panic.

 _ **Pain, it's like fire**_

She'd dropped a plate as she'd started falling, and she was convulsing amongst the shards.

For a moment, those beautiful brown eyes found mine. I saw no sense of registration in their depths, like she was staring right through me. Then they rolled right back into her head as her back arched like a taut bow-string, her mouth open but not sound coming out.

After the split second of assessment, I snapped into action. I fell to my knees, hovering over her body carefully as I swatted the sharp ceramic pieces away. My soul and body ached to hold her and comfort her, but I knew I couldn't, because I could potentially hurt her. All I could do was watch helplessly and make sure she was still breathing, though her breaths where already rasped and painful.

 _ **Unhealthy**_

 _ **Bite, bite, bite**_

 _ **Too weak, will die**_

It lasted for three painfully long minutes, before she slowly sank into stillness and promptly blacked out. Once she'd stopped, I instantly gathered her into my arms and retreated to my room, trying to shake the powerful thoughts thundering through my head. I could practically feel the venom pooling in my mouth preemptively, every fiber of my being wanting, aching to change her so that she would no longer be so vulnerable.

I stepped onto my bed fluidly, leaving dirty foot prints across the duvet without a care in the world. I settled against the headboard, and placed her delicately between my legs, where her back and head could lean against my chest.

There was an annoying ringing, and I growled angrily. I fished my phone from my pocket and chucked it furiously, satisfied when it silenced once it smashed against the dresser sitting across the room.

Gwen let out a soft breath of contempt, her heart rate much calmer and she was sleeping much more peacefully than she had the moment the seizure had subsided.

A soft grumble started low in my throat, almost like a lion's purr, and I watched with satisfaction as a small smile touched her lips, and she snuggled further into me. I pushed out some calming emotions, and just a little bit of lethargy so that my little mate would get some sleep without interruption.

The smell of her filled my senses, and I found myself resting my head against the headboard with peace, relishing in the feeling of her body resting against my own.

I was beginning to believe all was fine. That once Gwen would fall asleep and my more primal side settled down, I'd leave her to sleep and the next day we would continue on our plans to have her experience some excitement before we changed her according to plan at the end of the week.

I had it all planned out in my head. After our trip of the tallest mountain closest to us, I would go to town and plan a dinner date for her. The girl deserved a proper, human date. Then I could tell her everything. It would go up in there air then on whether or not she would still like me, or even feel that she could love me.

At least, that was what _I_ had planned. Fate, however, had a different idea.

It took me a moment to realize that the lullaby of her heart beat was beginning to flop. I was so content having my sleeping mate held in my arms, that I'd been washing out all the noise of the earth around me. Past the hum of the house's electricity, the noise of the crickets in the yard, and the animals in the woods, Gwen's heart was starting to fail.

My eyes shot open, and I quickly moved her. I laid her across the bed, and I felt her discomfort before it began to flicker across her face. The pain slowly bled through the rest of her emotions, like a wound slowly ripping itself open, and her heart beat sounded like an angry drummist following his own rhythm instead of pacing to the song.

Gwen awoke with a gasp, her eyes wide and she floundered for a brief moment.

Those beautiful brown eyes found mine, and she reached for me, like she was reaching for a life line. I instantly crawled onto the bed over her, feeling her small hands take fistfuls of the edge of my t-shirt as tremors of pain started to wrack through her.

"J-Jas, I-," she let out a soft cry, and I watched with anguish as tears spilled from the corners of her eyes. "There's fire. My leg, it's on fire."

"I'm sorry, angel," I whispered, hovering over her twitching form. "I know we had different plans. I hope you can forgive me."

Her eyes found mine, and through the pain I could see the glimmer of understanding. I felt it touch me, warm me. She knew what I had to do. She understood. There was disappointment, a severe disappointment, but it was towards herself, not me.

 _ **BITE**_

For once, the monster was right. I had to bite her, because the change was starting. If I didn't, she would suffer a long change. I couldn't let that happen.

I leaned my head down to her neck, my nose gently gliding against the expanse of her pale neck. I found her jugular easily, and, before I could even think to stop myself, I placed a kiss against the pulsing point, her skin delightfully warm against my lips. It felt intimate, probably way too intimate for the poor girl who had no idea how we were tied.

She cried out with pain once more, and it was in that split second I used my teeth to bite into her soft, pliable flesh.

A choking noise of pain came from her, and her thin body struggled back against my own for a brief moment. Her blood touched my tongue, I could taste it, but it didn't call to me. It was sweet and wonderful, but it was hers. And I needed her. That thought alone allowed me to push past the taste and let my venom coat the wound. I pushed as much as I could into the open wound, covering it completely and letting it soak in.

I didn't move from her neck, even as the venom started to work it's way into her body. I watched as she began to go still, falling not into a sleep, but into the change.

Then I heard more ringing, in some silly video game tone, and that was what finally drew me back. I apologetically looted through my poor mate's pocket until I produced her phone, and I sat back on my legs. I watched her like a hawk as I answered the call, though I'd been very tempted to throw her phone, as well.

"Alice," I rasped into the phone, watching her still body carefully. I was nearly stunned by how quick it had all happened. "How did you not see this?"

"I tried to call you to warn you, before you destroyed your phone!" she accused, her tone annoyed.

I snarled at her.

"Jasper Whitlock! Don't you start!" she warned. "You need to calm down. She is going to wake in a little over three days."

I felt a little remorse bubble in my chest, and I sighed. "I'm sorry, Alice. I know it isn't your fault. Does everyone know?"

"Yes," she admitted. "Charlotte had to stop Peter from coming up there when you didn't answer your phone the first time. You're lucky, for a moment all I could see was him stealing one of your arms and burying it somewhere."

I didn't tear my eyes away from Gwen, who had fallen into silence. "She's not screaming, Alice. Why isn't she screaming?"

"I don't know," she replied, uncomfortable. "Carlisle said everything should be fine. Her change should go smoothly and normally."

I wanted to scoff. There wasn't much to call normal about this situation. About changing into a vampire. But, I supposed, to us, it was as normal as normal could be. This had been unavoidable, and while I knew that it hadn't been my fault for her premature change, I couldn't help but feel guilty over it. The girl wanted to try and live out her human life to the end. I could only hope she wouldn't feel remorse of the loss of time.

"I'll call you after she's changed. Okay, Jasper?"

"Yeah," I replied halfheartedly, and tossed the phone onto the bed after the resounding click of the call ending.

This should've been different. A lot more different. In a perfect world, we would've had the time to do everything on her little list and for me to explain so much more to her. We would've had the room set for the change, she could've worn something more comfortable, and I could've changed her in a much more consensual manner.

Now, all I could do was wait.

* * *

 **Gwen Swan**

* * *

I'd thought I'd experience true pain before with my "illness". The episodes of hot itching, skin crawling, pain, the lack of breath, and the body aches. None of it could hold a flame to the fire burning through me at that moment. It felt like I'd been sent straight to hell, and was serving my sentence to eternal fire.

With this unbelievable pain, there was no concept of time or reason. I could feel the fire running through my veins and eating at me alive. I was very aware of my heart beat and how furious it was. I could feel and hear the gushing of my tainted blood. It was thick and sluggish, and hot. So, so hot.

It was nothing like sleeping. There was no rest in this, only darkness and pain.

 _Remember your friends, your family. Remember who you are. Just keep thinking about that._

I remember my family. Janette, Lukas, Sierra, and Eric. Charlie and Bella. The mother I never met. All the ones who cared for me, before and after I became ill. They took care of me, loved me, and cared for my dying body even though they didn't know how to fix it. They loved me, I love them.

 _My name is Gwendolyn Marie Swan._

My earliest memory of Charlie consisted of Bella and I sitting on stools at a diner. A diner in… in Forks. It was in Forks. We ordered ice cream and I ended up spilling mine all over Bella, and then we both cried the whole way home until Charlie stopped at a gas station, bought a whole gallon of ice cream, and settled down with us in the living room to watch tv.

 _God everything is so hot._

Janette always talked to me when I child. When I threw a tantrum, she didn't raise her voice or spank. She'd sit me down and talk to me almost like I were an adult. She would patiently explain reason into my tiny toddler brain. And while it didn't always work in her favor to get me to calm down, I grew up with the memories of her teachings.

Lukas taught me how to ride a bike without training wheels, and I didn't talk to him for two days after he let me go once I'd gotten the hang of riding. He'd promised he wouldn't let go. But he did, and because he did, I learned how to fly on my own. He made it up to me with a trip to the zoo, along with the rest of the family. I flew again that day when he let me ride on his shoulders nearly the whole trip.

He was always trying to set me up for success. I think that was what tore him up the most when I got sick. Because he knew I couldn't triumph something incurable. He knew he was losing his first daughter, the one he taught to fly.

 _My name… is Gwen Marie Swan._

I was jealous when Janette was pregnant with the twins. I thought they'd done it on purpose, because they wanted new kids and that they were going to get rid of me. I realized that was silly when Janette sat me down and gave me one of those patient mom talks. She told me I was going to be a big sister and that it was going to be my job to love my siblings and be there for them.

The twins and I became the best of friends. I was a model sister, the kind that showed them how to sneak snacks from the pantry without our parents knowing. The kind that helped them clean a juice stain on the new white carpet. The one who built forts with them, even when I was older and should've thought it was uncool.

I wasn't always the most likeable person, at least no when I was a kid.

 _Gwen._

I was a bossy kid. I made lots of other kids dislike me because of that.

I grew out of it, but I was always a smart ass. A gift and curse.

I remembered Bella, Jacob, and I. We hung out a lot. At least, I think we did. No, we did. I knew we did. He was helping us… do something? Jacob betrayed me. _No_. I thought he did. He tried to save me, before I even knew I was in any trouble other than my dying body. Thought he probably wouldn't like me anymore, I still considered him my friend. I missed him.

Bella used to be sad. She was still a little sad. It was hard for me to be there for her sometimes, because I'd thought she was being a little selfish. But we grew to understand each other. She became my first best friend, my first real friend.

I drug her on my little escapade to live my life, hoping she would find herself along the way. My little adventure to seize the day. To live my life before death.

 _I… am Gwen S-… Swan._

What is that noise? My heart is _so_ loud.

Peter and Charlotte were my first vampire friends. They were funny, and kind. Peter was like my brother, and Charlotte like a sister. We talked about a lot in that hotel, lots of secrets and open heart-to-hearts. _Where were we? Why were we there again? Wolves?_

The Cullens were still new to me, but Jasper was my friend. M-my friend. He made my heart race a lot, and not in the "I-need-my-inhaler" kind of way. I tried to keep him away, because he was heartbreakingly handsome. But I didn't want to do that. I probably shouldn't have done that.

 _Jasper is nice. I like him. A lot more than I should._

Jasper was the second person to teach me to fly. I remember that. The motorcycle had been the most freeing thing I'd felt in years. Jasper had let me fly all day long, and all the worry and pain I kept bottled inside melted away. He made me feel normal, amongst a plethora of other emotions. He made me melt like a slow burning candle, and turned my insides to mush.

 _Damn, I didn't get to have any chocolate again before this started._

My heart sounded like a drum. If the drummist was having a stroke and the drum sticks were made of hammers.

I thought of Jasper, and decided that if I lived through this fire, I would throw chance to wind. I had a lot I missed out on in my years of being sick, and my last chance for plans had gotten pulled out from underneath me. Life was too fickle to skirt around everything. Even if he wasn't mine and I wasn't his, I wanted to know Jasper. I wanted to date Jasper.

 _My name is Swan. Gwen Swan._

 _Like James Bond._

 _I don't think I know who that is._

The pain was retreating, and leaving a little bit of insanity in its wake. My heart fluttered like a hummingbird until it's pace reached unimaginable speeds. I thought it was just going to burst in my chest with a sickening squelch, and then I'd die. But that didn't happen. It peaked, and then cut off like someone had just pulled the plug on my body. With it, the fire washed away and I lay still.

Everything stopped, and then it all restarted.

I was awake, though I hadn't been asleep. I could hear so much, even things I knew I shouldn't. It was all so far away, but to clear. I was afraid to open my eyes. What would I see? Would there be hell? I couldn't even remember where I was.

A soft voice broke through my internal rampage. It was smooth like honey, yet husky like a fresh shot of whiskey. It sent shivers up my spine, and I remembered it, but there was something different. Something new. It was more drawing, more powerful.

"Gwen?"

 _Ah, yes, that's my name._

"Open your eyes, angel."

* * *

 **Well, unexpected change. I was really contemplating whether I would have her human for a full week or go this route. This route won.**

 **Hope you guys enjoyed, and thank you all so so much for your support.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16 down! The end is a little thick with speech, so bare with me on that.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 _"I wish it need not have happened in my time,' said Frodo. 'So do I,' said Gandalf, 'and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."_

 _-Frodo and Gandalf, Lord of The Rings_

* * *

My eyes snapped open, and I felt my body tighten like a coil. I glanced around, watching the dust particles float in the air and taking in the pure vibrancy of all the colors I could see.

I was trying to take everything in slowly, but nothing could distract me from the pain settled in my throat. It was a burning, itchy ache that agitated every time I attempted to swallow. It made me hunger, and thirst, and I knew that I needed _something_. I would go crazy with this burn, frenzied for some sort of relief.

I slowly inhaled, taking in the smell coming from the covers cocooned around me. It was a thick musk of sandalwood and wet earth, the same smell coming off of the figure standing at the other end of the room. It was an intoxicating smell, rich and heavy to the senses. I didn't know what to think about it, other than I faintly remembered it and enjoyed it.

He wasn't moving, not an inch, and he wasn't breathing. If I hadn't been able to smell him, I would've barely even registered that he was in the room. The only other sign was the tingling at the base of my neck; the feeling of being watched.

I sat up, the movement fluid and quick. There was no protest in my body, no aches or pains. It was all simple and natural.

My eyes glided across the room in one smooth moment, before focusing on the male across the way. He stood in complete submission, showing both his hands and standing as lax as he could. He was gorgeous, with a tall, lean body that had just the right amount of muscle to it. His hair was a beautiful golden honey color, in wild waves and curls.

I recognized him, but I hadn't actually noticed all the details to his beauty before. If he'd been breath taking before, my new eye sight made him drop dead gorgeous. I could see every natural shade and highlight to his hair, see the spectrum of molten gold swimming in his eyes. I'd never enjoyed color so much before, but now that I saw it all so vividly, I couldn't help myself.

I stopped at his eyes, seeing their liquid gold depths staring straight back at me.

The coil tightened just a bit further, feeling like a spring seconds away from snapping, and I was quickly on my feet.

His eyes followed me, but he made no reaction to my quick rise. He just continued to watch me with care, and kept his stance as submissive as he could so that he didn't startle me.

I felt more at ease when he didn't move, didn't try to come towards me. I felt like I was ready to bolt at the slightest movement I didn't like or that startled me.

 _This is crazy. You're fine. There isn't a threat here. It's just Jasper._

 _ **Sire.**_

"Jasper," I whispered, and surprised myself with how lovely my voice sounded. There was no harshness from sleep, no crackling or wheezing.

I saw relief flash across his eyes, but he didn't move closer to me. "Gwen."

The rich tenor of his voice stole the breath from my lungs, and my navel tugged harshly at the sound of my name on his lips. I let out a loud hiss of warning, one that I wasn't even aware I could produce. "Stop that, I don't like it."

 _I need to feel this all for myself. I need to learn._

He rose a delicate brow, his face still schooled. "Don't do what?"

"I can feel you poking at me with your power," I complained, and fidgeted like a nervous horse. I felt like I needed to _go_. And my throat was burning, dry and grating with each empty swallow that I took.

For a moment, Jasper looked curious. "I'm not using my power on ya', angel. I promise."

With the word 'angel', I felt the pit of my stomach give a very warm throb. I'd never felt anything like that before, and I was getting impatient. I didn't need him to mess with my emotions when I was already haywire. I felt almost threatened by his presence. Something about him _oozed_ power and authority.

A soft huff left my lips, and I touched my throat with discomfort. Each swallow made my throat feel like two pieces of sandpaper were rubbing against one another. A deep, irritating burn that gave me a terrifying desire to quench it and be done away with the pain.

"It hurts," I said softly, gently rubbing at my throat.

Jasper nodded, face softening. "You're probably very thirsty. Hunt with me?"

"You'll show me how?" I whispered, feeling nervous.

He smiled, and my stomach did a back flip. "Of course. Can I come closer to you?"

I stared at him, glancing over his stance. I don't know why I was suddenly so concerned about his movements, but I was. Deeply so. It was Jasper, my crush Jasper. I knew him, I could remember him. But that didn't fully register, and I was considering heavily on running away from him or tackling him down to get him before he got me.

 _ **I want to bite him.**_

 _Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who said anything about biting? Let's_ not _bite anyone._

Jasper probably felt my confliction, and eased himself towards me slowly.

My body tensed, and I was overwhelmingly aware of how much I liked his smell as he drew closer to me.

"Okay?" he asked, just a couple feet away from me.

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Let's go," he said softly, and paced very carefully to the window.

I watched him carefully as he drew it open to its full capacity, and stepped back. I paused, staring between him and the window, before it clicked in my brain. I surged forward and jumped out the open window without a second thought.

For a moment, a flash of fear went through me as I fell two stories down. The ground was coming quickly, and I knew that my legs would snap from the force once I hit. I almost closed my eyes. But I touched down gracefully, and my body didn't protest even the slightest. My knees bent to cushion the impact a little, but I didn't feel a single ounce of pain.

"Whoa," I breathed.

Jasper gracefully landed next to me, having hefted himself over the sill and out moments after I'd jumped out. He was grinning at me, and it made his whole face light up in a way that made me want to start smiling along with him.

He gave a wide gesture with his arm. "Ladies first. Just make sure you don't go east, that'll lead ya towards town."

"I thought the town was miles out, though?" I questioned, my head tilting to the side and sending a tumble of russet brown curls over my shoulder.

Jasper's eyes flickered from my hair to my face before he answered. "It is, but you'll be surprised how quick it'd be for you to get there. We don't want you to stumble across any humans, not now. Especially not when you're in a hunting mind."

 _ **Thirsty.**_

 _I don't want to hurt anyone._

"And give me a reminder of which way is east," I prodded, smiling sheepishly.

He chuckled, and pointed out the direction for me. I instantly took off across the lawn and into the tree line, and I heard him running closely after me. For a split second, a wild and asinine sense of fear swept through my, like my instincts thought I was actually being chased.

 _It's just Jasper. Jasper who smells really_ really _good and makes my stomach do funny stuff._

My nose picked up on a smell, and there was no need for teaching. I'd thought I'd be too new, too gentle, to hunt on my own. I was foolish enough to think that I wouldn't have the slightest clue what to do to sustain myself, and that I'd actually be too disgusted to eat on my own. But it came naturally, just as easy as breathing. My throat, my instincts, it all knew what I needed.

I was nearly a pale blur, looping through the trees with ease. I didn't have a single fear that I'd hit one, I could see them all coming even at me speed, and I could dodge it all easily.

 _That smell._

 _ **I need it.**_

 _ **Hurts.**_

I could hear the thick blood rushing through the mountain lions body. It was like listening to some sort of odd, appetizing lullaby that was leading me straight to what I needed. The poor animal didn't stand the slight chance. I came through the clearing faster than it could register and it had barely flinched before my arms came wrapping around the ribcage.

There was a sickening crack as I hugged it me, and my teeth latched onto the neck.

It died nearly instantly, thank god, as the animal lover in me would've been even more mortified if it hadn't.

I drank until I could pull no more from the neck, feeling liquid rubies splash against my tongue and satiate the burn with each long swallow. Even though I'd fed, I was frenzied. Hungry, and unsatisfied with the emptiness echoing through my belly. While the lion had helped soothe the edge off of my hunger, I wasn't even close to done.

 _This is what he talked about. This hunger. I feel unhinged._

 _ **I smell more.**_

I had long since lost track of Jasper. I guessed he was still around, and sometimes I could hear someone moving just at the edges of my range of hearing, following me like a near silent ghost. I was content with that. I wanted the space, I didn't want him to see me like this, nor did I want him to come and take my food. It was mine.

It wasn't long before I'd tracked down a herd of deer, and slaughtered three. It was only then that I was beginning to feel a sense of control over myself. I still felt a small burn in my throat, but I no longer felt crazed for it.

I took in a deep breath, stepping away from the last doe. I saw it's glassy, dead-eyed stare and was reminded of something. What that was, I couldn't tell. It was just a small flicker of deja-vu, like I'd seen that sort of stare before.

Jasper made his presence known very noisily, making sure he wasn't sneaking up on me as he came closer.

I tensed, but slowly forced myself to relax. Looking at him from over my shoulder, our eyes clashed and I felt something in my stomach stir. It felt warm, and I wanted to get closer to him.

"I'm a mess," I said, gesturing to my ripped and blood-flecked clothing.

* * *

 **Jasper Whitlock**

* * *

She was amazing.

Obviously, still a newborn and very dangerous, but she was amazing at it. She hunted with a prowess that I adored watching. She hadn't needed any instructions, any hand holding. Her instincts took hold and off she went like a rocket, speeding towards the first source of blood she'd picked up off the wind and the land.

She'd been too hungry to notice the state of her clothes, which had slowly stretched and began to rip half way through her change. Her once unhealthy frame had filled back out to it's potential, and I was having was too many ungentlemanly thoughts about it. I'd had to removed myself from the room for a few hours to calm myself down, unable to stop myself from reacting.

Bella had said she was a curvy girl when she was younger, and, boy, she hadn't been lying.

Gwen may have been a little thicker than a standard guy would look for, but it was perfect for a man like myself. Her hips filled back out to lovely curves, and her thighs were a bit thicker and more figure-complementing. Her stomach filled out to where it no longer looked a bit sunken in, back to more healthy and womanly. Her once gaunt face filled out to show a lovely jaw line along with a delicate slope to her neck.

She'd withered away when her body started war against the venom, but now I was seeing the woman she should've always been. And the wild, thick ringleted hair suddenly made so much more sense on her. The wild curls and rings framed her face and went down to mid-back, beautiful and untamed.

Her new body moved with even more confidence than her old one had, and that was something that furthered my affection towards the girl. Even with a decaying body and in the face of death, she still walked around like she was going to storm the world and earn her right to live with the time she had. Now, she moved with a grace and slickness of a vampire, and had everything she needed to take life by the horns.

I don't think she was even aware of how she was acting. Probably not, considering the pitch blackness to her eyes that'd told me how terribly she hungered. It was hard for a vampire to first realize just how animalistic they were, not until they were able to be around humans and see how they needed to act.

I couldn't help but notice that she stalked her prey like a hunting feline, and pounced like one, too.

My heart would've been hammering in my chest if were still beating. I could feel the adrenaline coming off of her, and my own was spiking as I watched and listened to her from afar. I made sure to give her plenty of leeway, so that she didn't feel threatened by my presence.

I slowly breached the tree line, entering the small alcove she'd chased her prey into. She was standing by a few deer carcasses, looking like she was taking a moment to steady herself.

She looked at me from over her shoulder and I saw her searching for praise. It was most likely because I was her mate and, technically, her sire. So, she was looking to make sure she'd done everything well, even though she had just been following her instincts.

I gave her a nod of encouragement, and smiled at the excitement that took over her face.

"I'm a mess," she announced, gesturing to the state of her clothes.

I couldn't stop the chuckle that left me, and she grinned.

"I feel like running from you sometimes, or pouncing you," she admitted, her voice suddenly small. "I don't know why. I remember you… I remember almost everything about the last few days, I think. Some stuff is hazy."

I nodded, slowly pushing out some comfort to her to see how she reacted.

Her eyes snapped to mine, but she didn't say anything as the emotions slowly relaxed her tense form into a laxer stance. She allowed me to continue easing her emotions, which I took as a good sign.

"That will be like that for a while. You'll have some problems controlling that for a while. As for the memories, they may or may not come back. Alice's haven't come back at all, she remembers very, very little of her human life. But some of it may come to you as time passes," I explained to her, watching as a flicker of sadness passed through the crimson depths of her eyes.

Seeing the red bleeding through her iris', stark as a spatter of paint against a pale canvas, was bitter sweet. In a way, they entranced me. But they also reminded me of my old days, back when I was first changed. I was relieved that Gwen had decided to follow the animal diet, though I would've switched for her in a heartbeat, even if it was only to make her feel slightly better about what she'd become.

She bit her lip, and I felt her anxiety rise.

"What's on your mind?" I intoned, stepping a little closer just to see how close she'd let me get to her.

Gwen didn't react, but her eyes flickered back to me. "I don't want to attack you, though. Why do I feel like that?"

I gave her an assuring smile. "Well, you're probably going to attack me more than once. I guarantee you that."

I conveniently left out that part of it might be that she felt like she needed to mark me. Either with scent or by biting me. I was not expecting to come out of her newborn period totally unscathed, if I was honest. But, hopefully I would come out of it with a woman that was happy to be my mate.

She gave me a scandalized look, shaking her head. "I don't want to."

"It's hard to control," I admitted to her. "Rosalie, even though she is a mature vampire, still sometimes attacks males that come close when she is feeding. Only the girls and occasionally Emmett can come close when she's really in the zone."

"Why just the girls? Emmett is her mate," she whispered, her voice reflecting the confusion that was slipping from her emotions.

I felt a flash a pain as I thought of my "twin's" previous human life, knowing her hunting issue was a subconscious thing that she could not help. I'd been with Rosalie during one of her moments of reliving that horrible night before her change, and I'd always wished there could be more I could do to help instead of practically muting her emotions.

"That'll be a story you want to save for Rosalie to tell you, when and if she feels ready," I told her, and she nodded in understanding.

Gwen huffed, tugging on the edge of her shirt to rip off a piece of it that'd been barely hanging on by a thread. "So that's why Alice packed me clothes not my size. She knew I was going to get bigger."

I wanted to protest that she wasn't "big", just a healthy weight, but noted that her tone and emotions held no bitterness or self-loathing. The small bit of self-depreciation had just been a small joke on her end, so I decided not to speak.

Gwen's eyes found mine once more, holding my stare evenly. "Can we go home? I want to shower."

I raised a brow. "You're sure you feel better? We can hunt some more."

Gwen opened her mouth, but then her brows furrowed. She was suddenly much closer, within arm's reach of me. I was stunned that she'd approached so quick, so I didn't move a muscle. Her arm shot forward, and I stayed perfectly still as her hand cupped my face. She examined my eyes with the intensity and indignation of an irritated mother bear, a huff leaving her lips and she concluded whatever she'd been looking for.

"You didn't feed any," she protested, a frown marring her lovely face, but she hadn't noticed how her grasp had turned from a grip on my jaw, to a soft caress.

I, on the other hand, was very, _very_ aware of it.

"I'm fine," I brushed off her statement, giving her a stern look. "I'm more concerned about you. Don't want you tearing up the house because you hear a squirrel cross the lawn and start chasing it."

She snorted at my jab, and her hand fell from my face, leaving a small feeling of disappointment in the pit of my stomach. "I am not going to chase squirrels. That's not even a snack, that's like eating one spoonful of ice cream and knowing you want the whole quart."

I laughed at the analogy, but then even harder at the sudden morose look that crossed her face. I knew what she'd thought of, and she instantly confirmed my suspicions.

"I'm never going to enjoy ice cream again," she sulked, her expression oddly comical. "I don't even remember how it tasted, only that I loved it."

Gwen then cracked a smile at me, before she sniffed the air. Her pupils dilated and the red of her eyes darkened some as she caught the scent of the rest of the heard she'd been chasing after, and she sped off once more.

I followed, a bit closer this time but still keeping my distance. I knew enough about newborns to know that even though she was becoming more okay with me getting closer, she would still want her space while she hunted.

I watched from afar as she tackled down a buck, but stopped in my tracks as I watched her snap it's neck, and then withstood her intense hunger that was urging her to latch onto its neck and drain the beast dry. Instead, she drew back, still clutching its large body to herself, and she looked at me with a pained expression, her eyes darkening even further.

"Here," she whispered, and I felt no conflict in her emotions.

It clicked in my brain what she was doing, and why it was so important that she was denying herself food. In a way, her mind was recognizing me as her mate. She wanted to make sure I was also receiving nourishment, even at the cost of her own burning throat and agony. It was natural for mates to check each other after meals, or to even bring meals to one another if the other felt they needed it. Her instincts were telling her that I was neglecting my health, so she was bringing me food.

When Charlotte had first changed, she'd displayed an insane resolve. She wasn't a frenzied newborn, instead she had nearly been stunted completely. It was like the whole ordeal had just shocked her body and instincts, and she was numb to the utter mess she'd been changed into. The war was raging and she was surrounded by monsters feeding off humans left and right.

She'd huddled herself in the furthest corner of the barn we'd been using at the time, and watched the chaos of her newborn comrades with pitch black eyes. She wanted to eat, needed to eat, but her sense of right and wrong was loud in her ears. She'd been too horrified to move. I'm sure, eventually, she would've snapped and snapped good. But Peter, who'd I had already recognized showing signs of finding his mate, had begun bringing meals to her so that she wouldn't reach that stage of frenzied feeding, that way she wouldn't draw any extra attention to herself.

And now, Gwen was dragging a buck over to me with a fierce determination laced with the pain she was feeling from her burning in her throat.

She threw it at my feet, shooting me a hard and expectant look, and instantly shot off to hunt down the last dear of the heard.

I shook my head with amusement, but did what I knew she wanted of me. She probably wouldn't cooperate until I did, anyway. I used my nails to rip some of the fur away before I ripped open the neck with my teeth. I drank until I couldn't pull anymore blood from its corpse, and let it finally drop to the ground with a dull and sickening thud.

I hadn't been that thirsty to begin with, having fed just the day before in preparation for the end of her change, so the deer had been plenty for me.

Gwen was back before me, her clothes a little more spattered and torn, and she had a grin on her face. "You fed! Good. Shower time?"

I nodded, and led her back to the house. I couldn't stop the smile from touching my face as I felt her emotions of awe and happiness. She was running, flying through the trees. She no longer had to worry about being out of breath. I was happy for my mate, for her newfound sense of freedom.

We arrived at the cabin in no time. While I was half tempted to see if she wanted to climb back up to the second floor, just so she could get a feel for how easy it would be for her, I decided to save the house from any possible damage and take her mountain climbing later. I'd promised her, and even though the circumstances had changed, I still planned on coming through with it.

"Let me know if you need anything," I told her seriously, my eyes following her form as she sauntered through the entry way.

She was glancing around the cabin home as though she were truly seeing it for the first time. In a sense, that might be true. In just seconds she could fill her head with knowledge of every spot, splinter, stain, and object of a room. She was slowly adjusting to the advanced sight and memory that came with vampirism.

Gwen turned back to face me as she reached the doorway to her room, a smile on her lips. "Okay, I will. I'll try not to break anything."

"Be very gentle when you grasp things," I warned. "You can break things a lot easier than you think you can."

She nodded in affirmation, then slipped around the corner. For a moment I stood still, listening to her rifle through her clothes for the extra, more fitting clothes Alice had bought for her. Once I heard her enter the bathroom and turn the shower on, I walked from the hall and into the family room, so that I could wait for her to finish.

* * *

 **Gwen Swan**

* * *

It felt amazing to get all the grime and blood off of me. I couldn't say I actually had too much of an odor, I just felt messy. And the hot water running across my ice cold skin felt heavenly.

I was being extra gentle while washing my hair, so that I didn't get my fingers too tangled and pull out any strands. It'd been hard enough turning the shower handle, and I'd dented it a little when I'd first grabbed it too hard. I didn't even want to know how easy it would be for me to accidentally rip out my own hair.

 _The amazing Gwendolyn, the first bald, female vampire._

I chuckled to myself, and let out a satisfied groan as I turned away from the water and let the warmth cover my back.

Embarrassingly enough, I could hear Jasper talking about me to Carlisle over the phone. I could hear it so clearly, it was like I was practically in the same room. Usually, I could barely hear my own music over the sound of the shower, let alone someone talking several rooms away.

I tried my best to tune it out, but I couldn't help enjoying the sound of Jasper's voice, and the hint of proudness in his tone as he recalled my first hunt to Carlisle.

It'd gone a lot smoother than I'd ever expected. I'd been planning on being a nervous wreck, but it'd been so natural and right. My body had taken over, because it knew what it needed and knew how it needed.

I had so many new urges and instincts, it was overwhelming. It was common to feel emotions sometimes and not always know the root of them, especially in some cases where people had chemical imbalances. But as a vampire, it took that to a whole new level. It wasn't just an odd feeling here or there, it was a full-blown impulse. One that you had to control and coexist with.

When I got myself out of the shower and dried, I quickly changed into the clothes Alice had picked out. I had never been more thankful for a pair of jeans and t-shirt, because I don't think I could've managed anything with buttons or extra straps.

Simple and sweet, even though I did accidentally rip off one belt loop while pulling them up.

I glanced in the mirror, and froze.

In my haste to get into the shower, I'd ripped my ruined clothes off and had hurried in without even glancing at the mirror. Now, however, I had a full view of myself and the person I'd become.

I felt like I was staring at a total stranger.

Of course, it was me. I could see my features, my curly hair, and my same height. Everything else, however, was a different story. I was just as pale as I had been before, but with the extra weight I no longer looked like a skeleton. I had a full figure, even more so than one I would've had had I been a healthy human. The vampire venom seemed to have had carved me out of marble and eternalized me.

The eyes, though.

They were as colorful as roses, and glittered like cut rubies. I'd never seen a color so bright on anyone, aside from colored contacts.

While they gave me the faintest reminders of Peter and Charlotte, who's eyes had been red from the moment I met them, up until they started hunting animals for their stay at the Cullens, they also reminded me of that fierce vampire, Victoria. She'd pinned us down in the gulley and I very well could've died if it hadn't been for Jasper.

I growled, a noise that formed deep in my chest and rattled in my throat. I thought of her, and how she'd come for me, and I felt my proverbial hackles raise.

"Gwen?" Jasper called from the entrance to my bed room. He'd went from pacing in the living room to my door in a split second.

Obviously, he'd felt the anger and threatened emotions I'd let swallow me up in my musings. I was almost embarrassed to admit I'd gotten angry over a memory.

"I'm okay," I breathed, and forced myself to turn away from the mirror. "How long does it take for my eyes to change?"

I walked into the bed room to face him while he replied, and I felt a twinge of guilt sweep through me as I saw the concern on his face. I hadn't meant to worry the guy, but I hadn't been able to help myself. The thought of a threat had made me so disgusted and fierce in just seconds.

"Could take a month or two, depending on how much you feed," he admitted to me. "It varies a lot. Don't like them?"

I bit my lip, and shook my head. "No, no it isn't that. It just… doesn't look like me. They don't make me feel like I'm myself. I know I'll never have brown eyes again, but at least amber won't look so frightening."

Jasper said nothing, but nodded his head in understanding.

My nerves were fried. At least it felt that way. I was so easily irritated and irate. It bothered me that I had very little composure, and even less control over how I was feeling and reacting. I knew I just needed to learn to get a lid on it, but I also knew it would take a while for me to do successfully.

"Do you want to watch a movie, Gwen?" Jasper asked, snapping me from my thoughts.

I smiled. Something human and normal sounded fantastic.

Hours later we'd finished several movies, and my first day as a vampire had officially waned into the second. I had barely noticed that we'd slipped through the night seamlessly, laughing and joking around together on the couch. It was only when the sun came up and light began to filter through the curtains that I fully realized I really wouldn't sleep ever again.

It was strange, because when I'd first awoke I'd been very nervous of Jasper and weary of his movements. Now, however, with him I was totally fine. We sat together and he could move almost freely about himself without worrying of startling me.

I still could feel my crush for him, and, if anything, it was even stronger now than it had been before. I felt this odd pull in my stomach, and my attention seemed to gravitate to him. I didn't know what to make of it, as it was stronger than anything else I'd ever felt for anyone before.

The credits were rolling and a beautiful pink and orange sky was leaking through the cracks in the curtain.

I stood and wandered over to the window, gently taking the curtains and prying them open so that I could look out upon the lake as the sun slowly began to rise for the morning. The window had a seat, and I found myself crawling onto the cushion and curling up with my knees to the chest, feeling content as I watched the scenery before me.

"I could watch sunsets and sunrises forever," I murmured, a smile touching my face.

I could hear Jasper taking out the movie and putting the disc away. He came up behind me very slowly, and I had to stop myself from stiffening up.

"Well, now you can," he told me, and very slowly joined me on the other side of the window seat.

We were touching, that was inevitable. The window seat was big enough for us both to sit comfortably, but our legs were touching. I half expected myself to freak out about it. Instead, I melted over the innocent and gentle touch.

I glanced at Jasper, and couldn't stop the awe that filtered through me.

He was gazing out the window, his golden eyes lit up with the reflection of the morning sky. A gentle glow was cast across his pale face, accenting his features. He was a walking dream, that was for sure.

"Jasper?" I prodded, tentatively.

"Yes?" he replied, not looking away from the view outside the window.

"You never told me your story," I said, and I felt his body go stiff on the sill next to me.

His eyes drifted to me, and he nodded. "That's right. I promised I would tell you."

I watched his face expectantly, and saw his eyes flicker with a bit of fear.

"I was born in Houston, Texas, in 1844," he began, and my eyes widened a little.

I hadn't really realized that Jasper was that much older than I was. I'd always assumed he'd come from somewhere south, like Peter, due to the accent that slipped through. But I hadn't realized he'd been over a hundred years old.

"I don't remember too much about my younger years," he continued. "I have some bits and pieces of my mother and father, but not too much to go off of. The American Civil War, however, I remember quite well.

"I was too young to join the Confederate Army, so I lied and persuaded my way in. I don't remember how, just that I knew I wasn't old enough and that I'd gotten myself in anyway," he admitted, and his eyes drifted back out towards the lake. "I worked my way up through the ranks, until I'd reached Major by the age of nineteen.

"I was riding back to Galveston when I found them. Or, I should say that they found me.

"Maria and her companions had lost their territories to warring covens. The south is a dangerous place for vampires, as many of the coven warred and still war over territories and cities to feed from. Since I was a Major, Maria figured if she'd changed me, I'd retain some of my military knowledge and be of aid to her in her fight.

"The covens in the South don't fight clean. They use Newborns, because they're stronger in the first year as a vampire. The retention of their own human blood keeps them quicker and stronger, just like you are now.

"Maria kept me, however. She found my power useful, and I… I was willingly helping her, at least for a short while. I thought that it was all vampire life had to offer me, or that I couldn't exactly run away. It was the only life I knew since my human one was gone. So, when newborns finished their first year, I would kill them for her as she commanded of me. They were of no use once they lost their strength and speed."

Jasper's voice had gone quiet, and his face was pained. I could feel the remorse leaking off of him, probably from a short lapse in his control on his power. I could tell how painful it was for him to relive all this, to think on it so heavily.

I felt sick in my stomach. I felt so awful for him, because he truly felt like it was his fault. From how it sounded, he'd been turned and raised in one of the worst environments for a vampire, under some manipulative chick's thumb. To make it worse, he undoubtedly felt the emotions of every single vampire he'd been set to kill.

I'd only went through my first day as a vampire, and I'd already felt attached to Jasper. I trusted him, not just as my friend before my change, but as my vampire mentor. My sire, to be technical. I couldn't imagine being changed by someone so manipulative and disgusting.

"When I changed Peter, something felt different. He was different than a lot of other vampires. He had a mouth on him, and he didn't just use to growl at everyone like the others did. He came at good, yet terrible time for me. The fighting, and the killing, had begun to take its toll on me. I was becoming a shell of a person, and he seemed near hellbent on making sure that didn't happen.

"We became friends before I knew it. I convinced Maria his gift and his cunning were resourceful for us, and she spared him. It was after Charlotte was changed that shit hit the fan. Peter had tried suppressing it, but I could tell from his actions and his feelings that Charlotte was his mate. I knew that Maria would be highly unlikely to keep Charlotte alive after the first year, because she had no power and no military background. Maria saw her as useless," Jasper continued.

"When Maria had told me it was time to get rid of Charlotte, I told Peter and allowed them to escape. Maria was furious, and I knew that she was planning to find a way to be rid of me. Peter came back for me, however, and I escaped with him. Never looked back.

"I lived with Peter and Charlotte for a long while. But I hated what I'd become. I hated feeling the emotions of my kills. I had no idea then that you could have an alternative to the life that I was living," he explained. "I eventually left them in search of my own way. I tried killing less, but it just made the hunger come back stronger."

"Then you met Alice," I concluded, a small smile touching my lips. I'd heard a little of how Jasper and Alice had come to be.

He nodded, a fond smile on his face. "She found me. She was waiting for me in a diner, and she told me I was late. She was the one who took me to Carlisle and helped me convert to the vegetarian diet. I owe her a lot."

I felt a flash of sadness, and fought to keep it away. I felt like I stood in pale comparison to Alice. She was amazing. She had a wonderful ability, a bubble, happy personality, and she'd given Jasper the one thing he'd ever hoped to have; peace. It was something I nor anyone else could replace in his life, and part of me just couldn't believe that they weren't real mates.

 _ **MINE**_

The flash of anger was hot like a knife to the chest, and I tried hard to school my face back from the snarl it'd quickly leapt into.

"You okay?" Jasper asked, his voice concerned. "I know you're probably afraid, or disgusted of me now, I don't blame you. As soon as your newborn year is over and you're better at controlling everything, you don't have to stick around me anymore."

"Jasper Whitlock!" I scolded, reaching over to smack his arm. "I would not, ever, feel like that about you. You had no choice. You didn't know there was any other lifestyle out there for you. For all you knew, the whole vampire world was at war like the South was."

Jasper looked at me, surprise coloring his face. "You aren't afraid?"

"Of course not," I huffed, blowing a piece of my bangs from my face. "You're my friend. One of my best friends. That isn't going to change unless you start setting orphanages on fire or start telling me that the remake of Nightmare on Elm street was better than the original."

Jasper threw his head back, a surprised laugh escaping him. "Of course, you would make this about horror movies. Well, I'll have you know, the remake _did_ look a lot nicer and had better quality acting."

I glared at him playfully. "Don't you dare start, Whitlock."

* * *

 **More of Gwen/Jasper to come, lots more. Next chapter should be a little...fluffy. Hope you all enjoyed and thank you so much for you support!  
**


	17. Chapter 17

**I was pretty inspired the last couple of days. Yay for quick updates!**

* * *

Chapter 17

* * *

 _"One word_  
 _Frees us of all the weight and pain of life:_  
 _That word is love."_

 _-Sophocles_

* * *

I hissed angrily, digging my fingers further into the rock and dirt.

Using my grip, I swung a leg up to the next ledge and continued climbing my way up the cliffside. I felt the rock crumble beneath my hands, and I nearly lost balance. I caught myself at the last moment, my hand finding purchase on another ledge.

"Whitlock!" I snarled into the howling wind, the force of it whipping my hair back and forth into a fluffy mess. "Get your ass back down here, I swear to God!"

I heard his laughter floating from the top of the mountain, equally lovely and irritating.

I mimicked his laugh in a high-pitched, mocking tone, and continued climbing over the rocky surface. I'd found out I had a new agility and balance with my vampirism. I could easily seek out new ledges and routes up the side, and if I even felt remotely like I was going to fall, I could dig my fingers and nails straight into the rock and stop my fall.

The mountain was tall enough that it still had some snow clinging to the crevasses and ledges. I assumed it probably never fully melted all the way, considering how far up we'd gotten.

Looking over my shoulder, I was stunned into silence over the view. We were high enough up that we were taller than the trees in the forest below, and I could see every meadow and winding river for miles. It was one of the most breathtaking things I'd ever gotten to witness. Even if Jasper was annoying the utter living crap out of me.

A yelp escaped me as the piece of mountain I'd grabbed crumbled away, and I fell five feet down before I'd managed to grab onto some more rock.

"You'll have to do better than that if you really want it," Jasper taunted, and I saw him peak out over the edge to smirk down at me.

I snarled at him, eyes narrowed, and quickly went back to scaling the cliffside. I finally reached the top, and I pulled myself up easily with both hands.

My head snapped up as I looked around for my prey, and my eyes landed on Jasper's crouched form. Jasper had floated back a few feet from the edge, that irritating smirk still across his lips as he watched me stalk over the edge.

I circled him slowly, and he watched me with guarded eyes. He let nothing slip, only the amusement scrawled across his face. My eyes flickered to his left hand, and I saw the flash of light at the item in his grasp shimmered in the sun.

I pounced, and he met me just as quickly. We tangled in a flurry of movements in limbs. I was grabbing for his left hand, all the while attempting to dart around his right, which was trying to grab for my waist. I ducked under his arm and tried to take out his legs, but he jumped over my sweeping leg easily.

I dove backwards in a roll, narrowly missing his grabbing hands. I quickly dove back in for another try, and he side stepped me with ease.

A strangled hiss escaped me as his arm roped around my waist, and he hefted my flailing body to his. I was too annoyed to admit that my body had easily melted into his grasp, and I was subconsciously leaning my body against his.

"You cheated!" I declared, an angry pout on my face. "I'm supposed to be faster than you."

"You are," he said, unable to hold back his laughter. "But you're way too newborn when you move and attack. I can predict your movements pretty easily."

I huffed at him, ignoring the jab at my youngness. "Can I have that back?"

"What's the magic word?" he taunted, looking at me from underneath his much-too-pretty-to-be-fair lashes. He was enjoying this way too much.

"Please," I groaned, my voice agonized like it'd physically pained me to even think of begging.

He released his hold on my waist and tossed the disc up into the air. My eyes followed it easily, and I snatched it from the sky the second it was within my reach. I had to remind myself to use my "soft grasp", so that I wouldn't break it.

I let out a happy rumble deep within my throat and chest, something I was refusing to call "purring", because there was no way in hell that I was actually going to admit I purred. Jasper called it purring, and said vampires only did it either when they were very happy or pleased, or to their mates. I called it bullshit because that was the most _embarrassing_ reaction I could think of having towards anything.

Swinging my backpack over my shoulders, I planted it on the ground and safely tucked the disc back into the case.

"If that was all it took to get you to chase me, I would've told you a long time ago I had a Batman movie signed by Michael Keaton," Jasper admitted, a teasing smile on his face.

"That's not funny, I could've broken it!" I growled at him, trying to sound angry, but I couldn't stop the small smile from crossing my lips.

Jasper shrugged. "It was a good incentive to help you learn to hold things gently. And to work on your reflexes."

"Yeah, yeah," I replied, hefting the backpack back over my shoulders. "You just wanted an excuse to force that small ledge to fall on me."

"You dodged it pretty well," he tried to say seriously, but the corners of his lips were threatening to give way to laughter.

I narrowed my eyes at him, and sniffed with distaste as I brushed rock dust off of my shoulders, as I _hadn't_ dodged the falling rocks at all, instead they'd all come crashing down on me as I frantically tried to decide jump left or right. It had been easy to hang on, but Alice wasn't going to forgive me for already ruining a pair of the clothes she got me and I fully intended on ratting Jasper out to her the second I got.

He couldn't hold back his laughter at the small puff of dust that came off of each shoulder, and he shook his head at me.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," I said, rolling my eyes.

I drifted back towards the ledge and plopped down on my bottom. I let my legs dangle precariously over the edge, looking out over the forested land splayed out miles away from us. I heard Jasper approached, rock and dirt crunching beneath his boots, and he sat down next to me.

I suppressed a shiver as his thigh gently touched mine, but I didn't move away. It was like I physically couldn't. I knew that I'd been trying to avoid my feelings for him, and I still way, but I couldn't help myself. He made it so hard to do.

Jasper let out a sigh, leaning back on his arms as he almost lazily gazed off into the distance.

I could feel him projecting his contempt and happiness, as my own felt more affected and lighter. He made me feel a lot calmer than I should've been, with all my instincts constantly screaming at me. I didn't like it all the time, as I wanted to feel and figure out my own feelings for myself, and he was very good at letting me do that.

In moments like this, however, I'd never want the emotions to end.

We sat there until the sun went down. For those few hours we talked. Jasper was trying to help me remember more pieces of my human life, so he would ask me questions about more difficult, hard to remember details. It was actually helping, as the more I focused and dug around in my memories, the more I uncovered that I hadn't remembered before.

"What do you remember about your mom?" Jasper asked, his eyes staring upon mine intently.

I sighed, and tried to focus. "She… I never met her. I know she died. I think it was during my birth? It's a little foggy. I only learned about her secondhand from Charlie. I just know… she was amazing. She was going to really make something of herself and she had all the power in her to do it.

"She liked fixing stuff. Like cars, or broken radios. Things that didn't work anymore and just needed some love. I think that's why she took a liking to whoever my dad was. She probably saw someone broken who just seemed to need some love. Then he left after the one night and never came back."

"What about your dad?" he dug, trying to get me to keep going. "Know anything about him?"

"I knew his name at one point. It started with an 'A'," I huffed. "Anthony? No… Andrew, meh… A, A, A…. Aaron! It was Aaron. He lived in Seattle. He came through Forks one day and ended up staying with my mom for the night…"

"Ever try to track him down?" Jasper asked, eyes curious. "Did he even know he had a daughter?"

I shook my head. "From what I know, the state tried to track him down but couldn't find him. That's why I'd been given to Charlie before my adoption. Honestly? I don't care much about him. I knew from a young age that he couldn't be that great of a guy, leaving a woman before she even woke up in the morning. Would I have like to have seen him at least once? Sure. But it's water under the bridge now."

Jasper looked thoughtful, but nodded in understanding. "Yeah, I get that."

"I think I need to hunt," I admitted to him, feeling the familiar burn starting to increase intensity in my throat. Jasper had made sure from the get go that I let him know if I felt too thirsty, so that I could hunt.

He nodded, humming in thought. "Yeah, your eyes a little dark there, angel. Let's go."

Jasper scooted forward a bit, and then just used his arms to push himself over the edge of the cliff.

I grinned widely, kicking my feet in excitement, before pushing myself off right after him. I couldn't help the rush of adrenaline that hit me, seeing just how far we were falling from. The wind rushed in my ears as I got closer and closer to the tree tops. I heard Jasper touched down just as I came crashing through, breaking a couple branches before breaching the tree line completely and landing in a delicate crouch.

Jasper came up next to me, a proud look on his face, and then he picked a twig out of my hair. "I think you caught the whole forest in your hair, Gwen."

I laughed, running a hand carefully through my curls to start pluck out some of the leaves. "Yeah, probably. Curly hair attracts everything."

I was going to tease him that he also had somewhat curly hair, but didn't get the chance. I caught the smell of a bear somewhere close by. The carnivores were a lot more appetizing than the herbivores, I'd quickly realized, so I was excited to chase after this treat.

"Wait," Jasper command suddenly, his voice stern.

I froze in my spot, just when I'd been about to run. Something inside of me went cold and shivered at the sound of his strong tone, and I was quick to obey. The rest of me was irritated and wanted to snap at him for stopping me from my hunt.

"Focus," he instructed me, leveling me with his darkened amber eyes.

I could smell it, and it was close enough that I could hear its heart beat. But when I listened more closely, I could hear two, smaller little heart beats following after their mom, romping around in the leaves and chasing each other around her. The mother was huffing and sniffling around, probably scouting for food or her way back to her den for the night.

"She has cubs," I said, horrified at myself.

Jasper nodded, his face solemn. "You should find something else. If you kill her, they won't survive on their own. I know this is harder for you, I've been letting you just chase stuff down when you wanted it. But we need to start teaching you control."

I nodded, but I didn't move. I was still focused on their lovely, appetizing smells. I was torn.

 _Don't do this, walk away. They're babies._

 _ **Prey.**_

 _No._

I shook my head, and I turned on my heel to the opposite direction. I sniffed around and stalked through the woods until I stumbled upon a deer herd, one with _no_ innocent animal babies, and I quickly went to work of eating my dinner.

When I was done, I sat in a clearing and put my head in my hands. I'd heard Jasper chase off after a moose, but he was out of my hearing range now. It gave me some time to reflect on the past couple of day and my own thoughts and feelings.

I was struggling coming to terms with what I was. Of course, I was enjoying the strength and the tireless energy that I had, but I was struggling deeply with my lack of control. I warred with my instincts constantly, and sometimes I felt as though I were in a deep turmoil. I hated feeling like I had a second mind hanging on every movement and thought I made, doubting and challenging me at every turn.

A leaf crunched behind me, and I was instantly on my feet.

I swung around with a startled hiss, and pounced my intruder before I could even assess the situation. Every fiber of me had started screaming danger the second I'd realized I had been caught off guard.

"Gwen!" Jasper's voice shouted out as I tackled the male intruder, his body rigid beneath mine.

Growling, I was fully prepared to start clawing and biting, when I realized it was Jasper who was beneath me. I instantly stopped growling, my body frozen with horror.

"Oh! Jasper, I'm sorry," I cried, mortification filling me. "I can't believe I just did that. What the hell is wrong with me?"

Jasper was looking up at me, his face amused as he watched me berate myself. His arms had been raised, ready to start defending himself, but slowly fell to his sides as he realized I'd come back to myself.

It was only then I realized how _close_ we were. I was basically straddling his hips, and my arms had formed a cage around his head to hold myself up right, with my long hair practically acting as a curtain around us. I couldn't help but notice one of his hands had settled on the side of my thigh, holding me upright with ease.

Embarrassment flushed through me, but what took the cake was that I started to "not purr".

 _Oh, holy hell!_

 _ **Mine**_

 _He is not mine! He's my friend. He has a mate somewhere out there. No purring, stop it._

The beast inside me snarled at the thought, and I tried to quiet it down inside my head.

Jasper touched my face, and my eyes snapped back down towards his. There was a gentleness to his face that startled me, but I didn't get up and I didn't pull away from his touch.

Something bubbled inside me. It was asinine, crazy, insane. I could feel it pulse through me, and my jaw subconsciously clenched as I realized what my body was compelling me to do. I fought against it, struggled as I began to get pulled under the control of my instincts. His smell was everywhere. It was all I could smell, all I could think about.

My eyes flickered across his bare arms, taking in the scars and bite marks littered across his pale skin. They led straight up into his sleeves, and I knew that he had to have more scattered across his chest and back that I'd had yet to see. I felt a flush of sadness that he had to go through all the terror he had.

There was a sudden noise, one I heard and felt.

Jasper was looking at me intently, but a thick rumble had started in my chest. He was purring beneath me, and made no attempt to stop it as his golden eyes watched my reaction intently. The sound of it startled me at first, but before I could even think I was purring back at him like a damn cat, mine much softer and effeminate.

This time, the more rational part of me was telling me to run. And, of course, this was the time I didn't listen.

The taut feeling in my jaw flexed, and I felt myself moving my body down a little.

 _Stop, stop, stop, this is too much. I can't._

 _ **Bite.**_

Jasper felt my hesitation, and he instantly made to move me so that he could separate us. I couldn't stop the bit of disappointment that flashed through me when he'd stopped purring.

 _Always a gentleman._

But, I still had no control.

I hissed, baring my teeth at him and fastening myself closer to him. He huffed as he went back to being limp against the ground, even though I knew he could throw me off if wanted. Deep, deep down, though, I knew that right now I was stronger than him and the only way he'd get away is if I allowed him to do so.

Jasper gave me a stern look, but when he spoke, his voice sounded strained. "Gwen, you don't know what you're doing right now, and you're really testing me, angel."

 _What is that supposed to mean?_

Slowly, very, very, slowly, the monster began to back away as I struggled to regain control of myself. I quickly pulled myself from Jasper and was several feet away, back up against the trunk of a tree. I was taking deep breaths, trying to keep hold on my sanity and control. I'd come so close to biting him, unbelievably close, and I had no idea why.

Jasper stood upright, watching me carefully. "Are you-"

"Don't you dare ask me if I'm alright," I whispered, running a hand over my face with shame. "I can't believe that I did that."

"It's okay," he soothed, coming closer slowly. Suddenly, it was if we were back to square one, back to when I first woke up. "I told you that you would end up attacking me more than once during your first year. You showed a lot of control."

"I wanted to bite you, really badly, and I don't know why," I ranted, unable to keep my hands from worrying themselves through my hair. "It didn't feel threatening. I just wanted to bite. Is that normal?"

Jasper shuffled, but there was a knowing look on his face. "Sometimes it's to display dominance, or even just a defense against attackers. Our venom inflicts a stinging, painful sensation when we bite one another, and it leaves a scar no matter how small the wound."

"And," he continued, golden eyes looking dark with thought. "Typically, when vampires find their mates for the first time, they mark one another."

I watched him as he began to pace the ground, his face contorted in a frustrated frown. I looked upon him with concerned. "Jasper? What's wrong? I'm really sorry that I jumped on you. I didn't mean too…"

He swung around to face me, his face intense. He came much closer, nearly a hairs width away. I looked up at him, suddenly very aware of how over powering his presence felt when he was so close to me. I was drowning in his smell again, and it was hard for me to think straight when he was _everywhere._

I instantly tried to back up, only to feel my backpack squish between me and the tree I'd pinned myself against.

"Gwen, there's something I need to tell you," he began, and I instantly thought the worst, a heavy feeling sinking into my gut.

Jasper ran a hand through his hair, before leveling me with another look. He opened his mouth to speak, before an odd look cross his face. I watched his nostrils give a subtle flare, and I curiously sniffed at the air. I froze. His eyes snapped to mine, widening as his body also went rigid.

The smell that filled my nose crushed all my control. All chains holding me back snapped the instant it graced my senses, and my hunger flared back up as if I hadn't fed just minutes prior, and it came back with a fierce vengeance. If the ambrosia of the Gods had a smell, this was it. It was a heavy lure, accompanied with a hook that buried itself straight through me and started reeling me in.

I quickly ducked under his grasp, his arms attempting to close around me to stop me. I snarled furiously, pushing him away forcefully and took off in a dead sprint to follow the trail of the heavenly smell. He flew back, his back hitting a tree trunk and cracking it straight through. I could hear him quickly regain his balance and start to run after me.

"Gwen, no!" he yelled, his voice a stern command that fell upon deaf ears.

My chest gave a frantic tug at the sound of the panic laced in his tone, but it didn't stop me.

Jasper was running after me, I could hear him, but at this time I was much faster than he was. He was hissing for me to stop, to hold my breath, and to just _stop_. I couldn't.

A voice inside of me was screaming. Crying for me to listen to him, to stop. There was an anxiety bubbling in my chest, but I could discern it from sick excitement or the feelings of my own horror, trapped inside my own body. It was like I was sitting backseat to my own life, watching the scene play out like a sick, awful film.

The campers didn't even know what hit them.

It all happened for me in horrific slow motion, but I knew it'd only taken me seconds, a minute tops, to do.

When Jasper finally caught up, he found me on the ground sobbing, a two-person tent shredded to pieces around me, and I was holding the body of woman I'd killed in my arms, cradling her gently against my torso. I was rocking her back and forth as I openly sobbed over her limp corpse. Her blue eyes were still staring up at me in horror, but there was a glassy, lost look that I'd never seen on a human being filmed over them.

Her lover lay not too far away, having been stoking their bonfire just moments before I'd stalked into the clearing.

"Gwen," Jasper whispered cautiously, approaching carefully.

I shook my head frantically, ducking to hide my face behind my curls. I couldn't look at his face. I didn't feel anything from him, but I knew he had to be disgusted. Disappointed, even. I hadn't been able to hold myself back even a little, and I was afraid to see my reflection in his eyes. Afraid to see the carnage I was wearing like a badge of shame, and afraid to see what he was thinking.

In my whole life, I'd never experienced a remorse like this. Of course, I had regrets, but nothing on a scale this large. My own pain had been the easier thing to shoulder and heft through life. I had done that quite well. This, however, was different. In mere seconds I'd snuffed out two innocent lives and that was the hardest thing to bear.

* * *

Jasper couldn't get me to come out of me room, but he didn't try to break the door down.

I'd laid in those woods until the sun came back up. The sunlight only made the scene look that much worse. I had risen stoically, and finally asked Jasper what I needed to do. He was quick to come in and help make it look like a bear mauling, but the whole thing had made me sick to my stomach with guilt.

I was a monster.

This wasn't some cute vampire romance novel where being a vampire was easy and fun. This was the reality. When we changed, we were natural born predators and killers. I could snap at a moment's notice, and suddenly someone would be gone.

I thought about the two I had so ruthlessly drained of their lives. I saw the engagement rings on their fingers plaintively. They both probably had friends and family who were sweeping that woods, desperately trying to find them, alive. But they wouldn't. They would either not find the two at all, as they were so far off from any civilization and any of the known camping trails, or they would stumble upon the dead bodies of their loved ones.

Sitting with my back against the door, I propped my arms on my knees and tucked my head in.

Jasper was probably in pain because of me, because I knew he could feel everything I was feeling. He'd only left once, presumably to tell everyone back in Forks of what I'd done. I'm sure they would be just as disgusted at me as I am.

He didn't try to use his power on me, though. Even with the pain and loathing I was feeling, I felt no attempt from him to try and cover it up for me.

I heard Jasper wander from his room upstairs, and he was suddenly on the other side of my door. He'd been doing this lately. He wouldn't speak, he'd just come and stand or sit outside my door, like he was waiting for me. This had been going on for the past four days, as I came out for nothing.

Even as the hunger and thirst rose in my throat, I sat still.

He settled down against the door, and I heard him leaning his head back against it. Today, however, he spoke. "Gwen… I'm sorry."

My head shot up from arms, and I shook it, even though he couldn't see me. "It wasn't your fault, you tried to stop me."

"I should've acted faster," he said softly. "If I had gotten my arms around you, I might've been able to get you away."

"I shoved you, and I'm faster," I whispered, feeling venom stinging my eyes. "You couldn't stop me."

There was a pause.

"You can't stay in there," he finally told me. "I won't let you starve yourself."

"What if there are more campers?" I whispered, a shiver of fear dancing along my back. "We can't keep humans out, Jasper. They explore, they love the thrill just like we do. I'll run into more people."

"They won't be here," he told me firmly. "It was my mistake taking you to the mountain. I knew it wasn't close to any human camp grounds or towns, but I should've known to check the area first, before running you straight into it. There will not be anyone near here, Gwen, I promise."

I'd never thought I'd miss crying. I had always hated crying, it felt like a waste of my limited time. And, deep down, I hated showing more weakness than my failing body had already conveyed. Now, however, I could help feel nothing but dissatisfaction from sobbing and having no tears. There was no release of emotions, no easy release. I had to feel it all out, and sort it manually.

"What did you tell them?" I finally asked, dreading the answer.

I heard him let out a soft breath of air. "I didn't go into detail, but they know the gist of it. They felt bad for you, Gwen. We have all slipped up before."

"Not Carlisle," I corrected him quietly, tucking my head back into my arms.

"We can't all be saints like Carlisle," Jasper said with a heavy sigh. "Even though most vampires would love to have his restraint, we can't. I speculate he has a slight gift of resistance, just because of his story. But I can't confirm that."

"I'd give anything to give those poor people their life back," I whimpered, curling tighter into a ball. "They were supposed to be married."

The most disgusting part about it was that in that split second, I'd enjoyed it. I would always remember that taste on my tongue, and I knew that animal blood paled in comparison. I wouldn't dream of trying to switch, as I could hardly handle this slip up, let alone just killing thoughtlessly. But I would always be reminded of this time, the brief moment I'd truly been a monster.

"Please, come out, angel," Jasper pleaded, his resolve seemingly crumbling. "I can't stand not seeing you, knowing I can't help. Please, at least come out and let me know you're okay."

I didn't ask why he needed to see me, or even question why he was so upset that I was hiding away. But his plea was all it took for me to rise, his movements mimicking mine on the opposite side of the door. I was tired of being alone, because it wouldn't fix anything. It wouldn't take my guilt away, and it certainly wouldn't bring that couple back to life.

Throwing the door open, I squeaked as Jasper pulled me into his arms.

I didn't fight, and instead melted against him. My arms instantly went around his waist, and I reminded myself not to squeeze him too hard. I sobbed against his chest, unable to stop the emotional flood running through me now that I was in someone's arms. While I couldn't cry, this felt better than the turmoil I'd been letting myself sit in for four straight days.

His hands instantly went to work, one running a soothing path across my back in circular strokes, and the other running through my hair.

A soft, comforting rumble came from his chest, and he rested his chin on top of my head. It was a comforting noise, and the sound of it instantly started to soothe me. It was a noise I could listen to forever, despite the fact I'd previously been very indignant about the idea of basically purring.

He let his power wash over my shoulders, the blanket of comfort and calm washing over my back like water.

I finally stopped crying, but I don't know how long we stood there. His hands worked tirelessly for a few more moments until they stilled along the small of my back, gently pressing me to him.

He finally pulled away some, and his eyes darted across my face. I felt guilt when I saw how dark his own eyes were. No doubt this whole situation had been taking its toll on him as well, and by depriving myself it'd put him on a standstill, as well.

"Let's go hunt, okay?" he asked, eyes searching mine.

I nodded, and allowed him to lead me from the house.

* * *

"No," I replied, instantly.

Jasper gave me a stern look. "Gwen, you aren't going to learn how to resist it if you don't start getting used it. Trust me, I know. I still struggle to this day."

I stared at the blood pack in his hand distastefully. I couldn't smell it yet, as it was neatly sealed in the container still, but I had a bad feeling about this all around. "How did any of you get used to human blood without attacking? You can't tell me you all left blood packs open and sitting around like a damn vampire air freshener."

"Usually, we kill a few people before we start building better tolerance," he admitted.

I frowned, feeling queasy. I'd already fed just yesterday, but I was scared of myself. Scared of how I would react once he split the seal and opened the bag. I didn't want to snap again, even if it was just for a little blood bag. I especially didn't want to end up attacking Jasper for it.

"Remind me to ask you why you just brought a couple of these with you from Forks," I said, raising a brow at him.

He shrugged nonchalantly, and posed his thumbs on either side of the plastic seal. "Ready?"

"Jasper," I complained, glaring at him.

"Ready?" he repeated sternly, his face completely serious.

I fidgeted in my spot, but finally nodded at him. I watched as he peeled back just plastic, before the bag popped open. I instantly held my breath, instinctively trying to avoid smelling it. I knew that was the exact opposite of what Jasper was wanting me to do, but I was scared.

He gave me a look, and I sent him one more half-hearted glare, before I slowly sniffed the air.

The smell made it feel like I'd been struck by lightning, and I instantly flexed my fingers and felt my body go tense. I held back, resisting against the pull of my monster as it growled and snarled to break free. I was so close to snapping, on the verge of jumping Jasper and stealing the precious bag away from him.

I grit my teeth, shaking my head wildly.

I knew my eyes had to have instantly gone black, but I still held onto my sanity, though it was steadily slipping through my fingers like sand.

"I'm n-not," I strained, and I shivered as I took an unconscious step forward. I wanted it so badly, more than anything in the whole world.

Jasper was trying hard not to let my own hunger affect him. Sadly, he could feel it, too. My own theory was that he wasn't bad at controlling his hunger, he was bad at controlling his hunger along with every other vampire's that he was around. That was why he had slip ups, more so than the others. And I knew that teaching me hurt him just as much as it hurt me.

I wished I could stop projecting to him, just so he could see that he had more control than he gave himself credit for.

Something inside of my mind stirred. In my mind's eye, I saw a taut string. It reminded me of the string of a harp, only that it was alone. I mentally gave it a strong pluck, and felt something snap. It gave a resounding ripple of power inside my head, and could feel it quivering inside of me.

I was drawn back to the present as I realized I was finally losing my group on my resolve, and was about to pounce. Just before I could, however, Jasper quickly clasped the bag. It didn't stop the smell from lingering in the air, but it made it a lot less pungent. His eyes, however, were wide with awe as he looked at me.

"Gwen, what did you just do?" he demanded, face confused.

I looked at him, tilting my head to the side. "Nothing? Wasn't that what I was supposed to do?"

"No, no," he corrected. "Not the blood. Did you just feel something? In your head or body?"

"Why?" I asked, feeling nervous. "What's going on?"

Jasper concentrated for a moment, face serious, but then soon it dissolved back into curiosity. "Because, Gwen, I can't feel your emotions anymore."

* * *

 **I honestly had Gwen pegged to have a slip up from the very first chapter I wrote. I couldn't really stand writing a perfect vampire. I think it's something that can be used for her to mature more as a vampire, and that will bring her and Jasper closer.**

 **Hope you all enjoyed, and thank you all for all of your amazing support!**


	18. Chapter 18

**First, I'M SO SORRY. I was honestly really stuck on this chapter and how I wanted it to go, and then a bunch of irl stuff happened that really put a stop in my flow. Thank you all so much for being patient and I hope the chapter at least delivers a little of what you were waiting for.**

* * *

Chapter 18

* * *

 _"I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone."_

 _-J.R.R. Tolkien_

* * *

"What do you mean, 'you can't feel me'," I questioned, my brows furrowing together.

Jasper paced around me, his face thoughtful. "I can't feel you, at all. Not a single emotion. I can't even project, no matter how hard I try. I feel… normal. I don't feel like I even have a gift anymore."

My mind drifted back to the loan string inside my mind. I tried to picture it again, closing my eyes and breathing deeply from my nose. I could see it, and it was still quivering. Like once I'd plucked it, it had continued pulsing out waves without fault. I tried to grab it, make it stop moving, but I couldn't reach. I tried again and again, but I ended up feeling what almost reminded me of a human version of a headache.

"I… I think it's me," I admitted. "I can't make it stop, I'm trying."

Jasper hummed in thought. "Stay here, I want to see if there is a range on this."

I opened my eyes just in time to see him sprint away, into the tree line. The quivering string got slower and slower the further he got away, like each end was being pulled away from the other. It was almost exhausting, like it was wearing me out to continue keeping Jasper's power off the further he got from me. Finally, when Jasper exited my range of hearing, it quit quivering with a reasoning _'snap'_ inside of my skull, which left a slightly dull ache at the base of my neck.

Jasper returned moments after, stopping in front of me. "I can feel you again. Are you okay?"

"Peachy," I grumbled, rubbing both hands against my neck. "It feels like I just popped a damn blood vessel. It's going away though."

"I'm sorry," he consoled, frowning softly. "Whatever it is you have has a pretty wide range, though. I had to get pretty far away before I felt my power come back. Give me a second, I'm going to call Carlisle."

I watched wearily as he pulled out his cellphone and dialed his adopted father. Last thing I had expected was to actually have a gift as a vampire. I'd been a fairly normal, unextraordinary person aside from the dumb sickness I'd had.

"Hello, Jasper," Carlisle greeted, the gentle tenor of his voice cutting through the ringing. "Is everything alright?"

I flinched, ducking my head as a flash of pain went through my chest. I knew that it was a normal question, but the way he said it made me feel awful. It was almost like he'd been worried there was another mess up, and I couldn't shake the haunting image of sky blue eyes.

"Everyone is fine," Jasper answered. "I just wanted to get your ideas on something. It seems that Gwen's got a power."

"Really?" It was hard for Carlisle to disguise the curiosity in his voice.

"She turned my power off," Jasper admitted. "She had some trouble turning it off, but it isn't permanent. I tested it and if I get out of range her control on it snaps, and I got my power back."

"Interesting," Carlisle murmured. "Is Gwen with you?"

"Hi," I said softly, knowing his ears would pick up on it.

"Hello, Gwen," Carlisle said warmly, shocking me. "It's good to hear from you. So, when you turned Jasper's power off, were you thinking anything? Visualizing something?"

"I…" I shuffled a little, uncomfortable as I tried to swallow the intensity of my emotions. I felt Jasper sending small waves of calm to me, and I felt a little better. "Jasper and I were using blood bags to try and help test my control. While I was trying to hold back, I felt bad that he could feel my bloodlust and was probably hurting just as much as me. I'd wished there was a way I could turn it off.

"Then I started seeing a chord in my mind. When I touch it, it stared emitting waves, and that's when Jasper said he couldn't feel my emotions anymore," I admitted. "I couldn't get it to stop, though. It was like I couldn't reach it again."

"Lots of vampires tend to use visualizations to help control their power, that's not unheard of," Carlisle mused. "I'm assuming the waves from the string is just a representation that you are using your power."

I didn't know what to think. There was so much on my plate already. I'd never even thought of the possibility that I'd come out of the change gifted. I hadn't been very spectacular as a human, so I couldn't fathom what caused this to surface. I didn't know if I even _wanted_ it. Being just a vampire was hard enough, let alone being one with a power.

"We'll work on training it, see what all she can do," Jasper added to Carlisle, and my eyes snapped to his.

I was frowning as he wrapped up the phone call with Carlisle, something which he caught onto very quickly.

"What's wrong?" he inquired, pocketing the cell phone and coming closer to me.

My eyes dart from his face, to his other hand, which was still holding the blood bag closed in an air-tight grip. I was a little uncomfortable still being around that little time bomb, even with this newfound problem on my hands.

He followed my gaze, and looked at me sheepishly. "Sorry, let me go put this away real quick."

I could hear him as he ran into the house, and rummaged around with some things. I could hear the sound of plastic rustling, and then he was back out in the yard in a flash.

"Now what's that frown for?" he asked again, face concerned.

I shrugged. "I just… I don't know. There is a lot going on. I don't know what to work on, what to focus on. Having a power just feels… complicated."

A look of understanding came over him, and he reached forward to touch my shoulder. My skin tingled beneath the fabric of my shirt, the weight of his hand comforting and nerve wracking all at once. I could never get over the feeling of his touch, and how it made me feel inside.

"Don't worry, angel. We got this. We have plenty of time to work on training your power, and your control. It'll take time, and it won't be the easiest, but I'm here for you," he soothed, amber eyes softening as he looked at me with something _very_ akin to affection. I tried to tell myself I was seeing things.

I nodded, biting my lip gently. I knew what I was getting myself into when we were coming to finish my change. Of course, I hadn't expected it to be this hard, or be this tragic. But I had to work hard to get results, and I wasn't going to let myself lose sight after just one failure. I would never, ever forget what happened with those campers that day, but I would work to get stronger, so that it would never happen again.

* * *

 **Two Weeks Later**

* * *

I jumped up, fingers latching into the tree trunk like claws.

Jasper's sweeping leg caught nothing but air, until it hit the trunk and split it through at the bottom. I instantly sprung from the falling tree, over his head in a dive. I did a nice rolling save, before pulling myself to my feet and sprinting away.

 _I have to attack. I can't dodge forever._

Jasper was very hard to hit. Even with my faster reflexes, he could dodge me as though I was moving as slow as a human. When we went at each other head on, he was an expert at predicting my moves. I had no previous fighting experience, so I usually went for the most obvious, reflexive attack. I couldn't help it, my brain was constantly screaming at me to run away or to strike fast. It was hard to put actual thought behind my attacks, over the sound of my instincts.

"You can't run forever, Gwen!" Jasper taunted, even though we both knew he was very wrong.

I could outrun him across the whole country and back, and that was the only thing I had to pride myself on during our training sessions. Even for a newborn, he said I was a little faster than the normal newborn, but he didn't know if it would stay with me past my first vampire year. At the moment, that was all I really had that gave me an edge on him.

Even as I ran, my instincts were buzzing, feeling like flies whirling in my head.

 _Slow down. I know what to do._

Frowning, I slowed my pace a fraction. Jasper was now gaining on me, closing in like a shark. The feeling of a predator on my tail made me feeling someone had just light a fire under my ass; I wanted to book it. Pick the pace back up. But I knew what I was doing, and I was hoping he would fall for it.

I was remembering something, and while it was foggy, I could still make out the gist of the memory inside my head. It was from when Peter and Charlotte had taken me from Forks. I had the smallest flash of a memory of Charlotte doing this to a lunging wolf, and to my surprise, it played out very similar to that.

Jasper lunged for me, and I fell to my knees in a mock-bow, skidding to a halt in the dirt. I could feel the spike of surprise come off of him as he just about nearly sailed over my head, had I not acted instantly and threw my fist up into his gut. He went crashing through a bush just a foot past me.

 _I did it!_

I couldn't help myself, I cheered. "Finally!"

Jasper hefted himself out of the bushes, an amused look his face. "I should've recognized that move. I've seen Charlotte pull that one hundreds of times. I guess I never expected to see it from you."

I wasn't able to keep my lips from smiling. I was proud of myself. It was the first time I'd gotten a real, good hit on Jasper.

"I remember seeing her do it with the wolves," I admitted. "I only just remembered it now."

"You almost had me before, though," he said, impressed. "When you turned my power off. I was feeling around for any adrenaline spikes coming from you, so I wasn't expecting that kick. You almost connected. Can you turn my power back on?"

The string was becoming easier to visualize. It took us one whole day of Jasper without his power for me to finally learn how to turn it off without him getting out of my range. All I had to do was grab it, and stop the quivering. The waves would quit and Jasper's power would return. Sometimes, I could see a flash of a second cord. I didn't mention it to Jasper, because the whole "visualizing your power" thing was still so new. Maybe seeing two was making the work easier for me, I had no clue.

I stopped my power, and Jasper's shoulders relaxed as his empathy came back into his control.

"I'm getting a little better at it," I noted, surprising myself with how quick was I getting at turning it on and off.

Jasper nodded. "Yeah, you are. It's good that it's becoming more natural for you. Pretty soon you'll be snapping it on and off like a switch. It's a pretty useful power, considering the range. Once we're back with the family we'll have to see if you can use it on more than one person at a time or not."

"I'd like to stop for today, if that's okay," I said. "I'm pretty dirty. I'd like to get a shower in before we do more training with the blood…"

The scent training had been the roughest part for me. I'd been getting better at controlling it, but it still called to me heavily. I also didn't think just the blood pack had the exact effect on me than it did when it was inside a warm, working body. But it was better than nothing, and I'd rather practice with that without risking anything.

Jasper nodded. "Yeah, I should probably change, myself."

We raced back to the cabin, and soon I was tucked away in the tub in my bathroom, running shampoo through my curls. The water was steaming, scalding hot. It would've been way too hot for a human, most likely would've burned them. But to me, it felt nice against my cool skin. Since I was cold, if I didn't make it as hot as it could be, my skin temperature would turn it cool much too soon.

I hummed softly to myself to the song playing on the radio that sat on the counter, smiling as my nose was filled with the calming scent of coconut and lavender.

Jasper had been quick to shower in his own room, and I could hear him reading a book in the living room. He'd taken up a new book series lately, and when we were training, that was usually what he was doing. While I'd never admit it out loud, I loved watching him read. The calmness to his face was touching, and the way his lips would curve if he read something funny or interesting.

As my water ran cool, I lifted myself from the tub and pulled the plug from the drain.

While I was dressing myself, I could hear Jasper put his book down and move from the living room part to the kitchen. He was rummaging in the fridge, which was now devoid of human food and only had a couple blood packs sealed within. We were getting to the end of the blood packs, all the old ones having either been spilled during my training or put down the drain.

Jasper was pulling one out, when suddenly he cursed.

It didn't take long for the smell of blood to reach me, and I quickly held my breath. Something had obviously happened with the blood pack, because Jasper clearly hadn't meant to open it so quickly. He'd surprised me before, popping one open when I didn't expect it. 'You never know when a human is going to bleed,' he'd said. I agreed.

I slowly moved down the stairs, and then peaked into the kitchen and living area.

Jasper was watching me enter with a raised brow, once hand clenched around the seal of the bag to cut off the smell, and holding his other hand over the sink. There was a pitter patter coming from it as little droplets of blood dripped from his finger tips and into the sink. It must not have been sealed correctly, or maybe the bag had been faulty and too weak in one spot.

I bit my lip, but continued holding my breath. There was a cracking inside of me, like a whip. I wanted to taste it, wanted to have it. But I knew I couldn't. If I wanted to get better, if I wanted to move past my mistake and learn to reintegrate myself back into society, I would have to restrain myself more. I couldn't live with killing people, even terrible people. I had to do this.

Jasper gave me a proud smile after a few moments of me shifting in the doorway had passed, and he quickly began washing the blood off of his hand. Even once the sink was clear and his hand had been scrubbed clean, I could still smell it in the air when I finally took my first full breath.

It shook my insides, and I felt the burn in my throat flicker, but I didn't feel out of control.

"You're learning to control it," he praised, coming a bit closer.

I smiled meekly, still a little unsure. "I think so… I just don't want to mess up again."

His face softened, and he nodded. "It's hard to do. But you're starting off drinking animals, so it shouldn't be as bad as if you'd live off humans and then decided to switch, like I did."

I suddenly found the floor pretty interesting, which was so odd for me. I didn't know how to behave around Jasper anymore. He was my friend, one of my best, and he was also my sire and teacher. But there was something there, something that lived beneath my skin and made my hands twitch with intentions I didn't understand. There was something there that drew me to Jasper, and I was afraid of it.

But ever since we'd began my training, I'd been wanting to breach the topic with him again. He'd almost said something in the woods the day of my accident. While I hated thinking back on that awful day, it'd been the first day we'd gotten so close together. I could still remember how it felt to be more intimately pressed against him, his cool breath fanning my face and his hand on my hip.

 _Shit, I've fallen for the guy._

"Gwen?"

His soft voice cut through my thoughts, and I looked back up to him. I was startled by the tenderness to his face, and I tried not to fold back into myself. But I knew then, knew for sure, that he felt it, too. I'd suspected he did, because why else would he care for me so tenderly, and push so hard for me to get better at my control. He was driving me to do better, to work harder. You don't do that for people you don't care about.

"We've been skirting around it," I whispered, rubbing my arm nervously. "Whatever this is."

Jasper paused, seeming a bit stunned that I was going to just throw the subject out there without warning. He turned away, facing the light streaming in from the glass door and hiding his expression from me.

"We can't pretend," I told him. "I feel it. I've felt it since before I woke, and I know you feel something, too. It's driving me nuts not knowing what's going on with my body. I lived too long worrying about my body, I want to know what's going on."

His eyes found mine, and I let myself swim in their warm, honey color depths.

"Back in the forest that day, I wanted to tell you. I've been wanting to tell you," Jasper admitted. "It just never seemed like the right time."

I waited, patiently. This felt too eerie for me, like I wasn't fully in control of my body or my emotions. I didn't like feeling meek, or feeling small. I had a loud personality, I always had. But lately I'd been numbed into a person I wasn't enjoying. Of course, being a vampire wasn't helping, but holding everything in and hiding things from Jasper seemed to just make it worse and worse. I wanted to feel a semblance of normalcy again.

"Gwen, when I first saw you after Victoria attacked you, Peter, and Charlotte on the way to Forks, I knew why Alice had been hiding a lot of things from me for the last few months," Jasper began, voice laden with emotion.

I felt a twinge of irritation, or maybe jealousy, as he brought up Alice, and quickly shoved the ugly emotion back down where it belonged.

"You were only human, so you didn't quite feel it then," he continued. "but I knew the second I laid my eyes on you what you were."

I huffed at his stalling, my face falling into a slight frown. "Jasper."

"Gwen, you're my mate," he said finally, letting his hands fall to his sides.

The clock was suddenly very loud, and I could hear the second hand ticking away.

He didn't move his gaze from mine, didn't look expectant. He was just waiting, most likely to see how I'd react. I couldn't talk, however. I was too intently searching his face, looking for any sign of a lie or deception in the peaks of his cheeks or the light of his eyes. I found nothing, only a warmth I'd been much too afraid to approach.

"You…. You're mine?" I whispered softly, and there a crack in my voice that I loathed with a hot passion.

Jasper's eyes softened even further, and he reached a hand for me but stopped just a hairs width away. He was looking at me again, but this time he seemed to be looking for my consent. I almost wanted to chuckle at him, but it probably would've came out as a cry if I even dared to let out a breath.

 _What a gentleman._

I moved forward, gently brushing my cheek into his open palm. It instantly cupped, pressing gently to my face, and his thumb gave a tender swipe over my cheekbone.

My insides were a scientific anomaly. Part of them were petrified, and the other reduced to a sloshing, wiggling piece of jelly. He was making me melt, but I was building myself up. I'd never been with _anyone_. Never thought love would've been a possibility for me. Now, I was faced with the idea of a soulmate, and it was oddly overwhelming.

I had no idea what would be expected of me in this. I was not ready for anything too intense, no matter how much my body wanted to betray me and bring him closer.

"What do I do?" I asked pitifully, but I had no clue. I had no etiquette in this. I'd only seen a handful of vampire couples.

He chuckled, his shoulders dropping slightly in relief. "Nothing, angel. I don't expect you to love me at the drop of a hat. We have eternity to get there, and I'll always wait for you. But now that it's out in the open, at least now you can understand the pull better."

Part of me knew that Jasper fit. He fit in my arms, fit in my heart. He made sense. While our interests varied on the spectrum, we shared different things in common and had enough differences to keep our partnership fun. He made me warm, and he pushed me to do better when I screwed up. I knew that I needed him in my life, but I wasn't ready for more.

I looked him in the eyes, my face dropping into a stern frown.

His hand dropped from my face, raising a brow. "Yes?"

I reached out and playfully pushed his chest. He let me, stumbling back a foot with an amused face. "You could've told me sooner! I wouldn't have been mad, or anything. I kind of like you and your face, quiet a lot. A little peace of mind would've been nice."

"I know, I know," he admitted, looking slightly guilty. "I was planning on telling you before your change. Had a whole date planned out. But then your change triggered earlier than planned and it just didn't seem like a good time to throw it at you."

I couldn't stop the cheesy grin that spread across my face, still feeling my stomach slowly untying itself from the knots it'd tied itself into. "You were going to go on a date with me?"

He chuckled. "I was going to try and make one here at home for you, but yes."

Oddly enough, I felt more at ease now. Jasper wasn't expecting me to snap into his lap at a moment's notice, he was willing to be patient with me. And now we were on a level ground with where we were at in our odd start of a relationship.

"So… I'm sorry about the whole not holding your hand thing…"

* * *

"I'm going to miss Bella's graduation," I said aloud, a small frown on my face.

Jasper's head poked around the doorway, even though just a moment before he'd been setting up a movie for us. "Yeah… everyone's graduation is going to happen this week. Alice promised to send lots of pictures."

I knew that there wasn't a feasible way for me to go, but I was still a little sad I was going to miss it. Bella would roll her eyes if I told her, but I was proud of her. Highschool could be a nightmare for a lot of people, especially ones with mopey vampire boyfriends. She'd made it, though.

"I'm sorry, angel," he admitted, finally breeching the entry way so that he could lean himself against it. "You're probably anxious being in this house all the time."

"No, no!" I protested, waving my hands. "It's not that. I love hanging out with you, I love this house, and the training. I guess I just miss my family a lot, and Bella is the only one I can actually see. A-and it would've been the twin's birthday on Wednesday. I just… feel like I'm missing a lot."

His face folded a little, and I felt bad. It wasn't his fault that I couldn't see my human family anymore.

"I'm sorry, I'm complaining," I sighed, throwing myself back against my pillows with exasperation. "I don't know how Bella is going through all of this so smoothly… what is Uncle Charlie going to do when we're both gone? Poor guy only knows how to make himself eggs and dial the local pizza place."

The bed creaked as Jasper took a seat next to me. "Bella was very quick to take to the idea of being a vampire. You took it pretty well, yourself, considering you didn't have a choice."

"There were plenty of times I wanted to scream and cry," I admitted, scooting over so he could lay down next to me. "Throw things, even. But I was staying in your office and you were still so mysterious to me, and I didn't think you'd appreciate me chucking your stuff around the room."

Jasper took the space offered to him, and he tucked his arms behind his head as he laid against the pillows next to me. His smell was calming, just about as effective on me as his power, and I let myself linger in it.

"Well, thank you for not throwing my things," he chuckled. "But I wouldn't have blamed ya' if you had. It was a lose-lose situation there… it would've been a lot for anyone to take in."

"How come you don't let your accent come out more? I know you have one, Peter and Char do, but you hide yours," I nosed, poking him gently in the ribs.

He glared at me, wiggling away slightly from the offensive finger. "Well, it didn't exactly fit in. Rosalie doesn't have the accent, so it wouldn't make sense for one 'twin' to have an accent and the other to not. So, I normally try to think about it before I speak, but sometimes it slips out."

"I like it," I said confidently.

He rolled to his side, propping his head up in the palm of his hand. "Do ya' now?" he questioned, putting a little heavier emphasis on the twang slipping into his voice.

"Stooop," I laughed, shaking my head.

"I like your accent, too, if that makes you feel better," he said with a chuckle.

I gave him an odd look. "I don't have an accent…"

"Yes, you do. It's the same one people from North Dakota have," he accused, a teasing grin crossing his face. "You stretch out your 'O's some. Not as cheesy as people do when they're mocking it, but it's there. Say 'North Dakota'."

"No," I pouted, pushing his shoulder.

"Pretty sure I've heard an 'uff-da' or two from you, too," he added on, laughing as I attempted to push him off the bed.

"I do not say that!" I laughed. "Only the older people do that, or the young people that want to be ironic."

"Okay, okay, you don't say uff-da. But I won't be surprised if I hear it slip out at some point," he told me with coy smirk.

Damn this man. Damn him and his charming good looks and good humor. He would be the death of me, I just knew it.

Once our laughter had subsided, we laid together in the silence. I was becoming more and more comfortable being close to Jasper, even before he'd finally explained what our pull meant. Even though it made every inch of my skin tingle, it was pleasant. Hard to resist the urge to touch, but pleasant overall.

Something bumped my hand, and I jolted slightly, but smiled when I realized it was Jasper's hand. My body pulsed with adrenaline as I laced his fingers with my own, his skin no longer cold to the touch to me. He felt… normal. Not warm, but normal.

If my heart were still beating, I know it would be having a field day inside of my chest. It was such an innocent touch, but it set my nerves on fire and filled my chest with a warmth I'd never experienced before. I knew that I'd never felt anything like this, human or vampire.

To my utter mortification, I let out a soft purr before I was able to stop myself.

I clamped a hand over my mouth, and I could feel Jasper's laughter reverberating through the bed just as easily as I heard it.

"You'll have to get used to that," he teased.

"I may like anime but I never wanted to be a half-neko. I'm not going to start now just because you smell nice and it makes my body want to make noise," I muttered grumpily.

He laughed again, not even bothering to ask me what a 'neko' was, and I ripped my hand away from his so that I could sit up and grab my pillow and give him a good whack with it.

Jasper looked at me, stunned, and his hair slightly askew from the impact of the pillow.

I grinned at him triumphantly, holding my weapon to my chest.

A smirk grew on his face, and a soft noise rumbled out of his chest as he quickly sat up and tried to yank the pillow from my grasp. I hung on too tight, and it ripped completely in half.

A gasp of mock anger left me, as we were both showered in the down from the pillow's gut. "Jasper! I liked that pillow!"

He gave me a look, glancing at the several pillows littered across the bed. He crooked a brow, his honeyed eyes filled with humor. "You have a lot of pillows for someone who doesn't sleep."

I tried to hold in laughter. Even though he wasn't being serious, it was hard to watch him talk when he had feathers stuck in his hair without getting the giggles.

"You leave me and my pillows alone," I said, poking his chest. "They're comfy and you know it. Whatever would you do if they weren't here for you to rest your head upon? Lay it on the mattress? Blasphemy!"

He rolled his eyes at me, and plucked a few feathers from my hair.

I froze, watching him as he concentrated on my hair, no longer plucking out feathers but instead running his hands through the curls. The solemn, calm look to his face as he ran the russet curls through his fingers had my stomach twisting in knots. On top of that, the gentleness of his touch lightly pulling at my curls sent pleasant tingles across my spine.

Jasper rose on his elbows, eyes burning holes into me. His breath fanned against my face as he looked up at me.

His eyes were smoldering, nearly suffocating. The liquid amber of his eyes looked dark and tender as they met my own, holding them. I could see myself in his reflection, and I could see the muddled reddish-orange my eyes had slowly been changing into.

One hand reached underneath the thickness of my hair, and I felt his touch just as the base of my neck. He didn't attempt to pull me. Just laid the weight of his hand against the nape of my neck, his thumb running against my scalp.

It felt right, all of it. My body was burning, especially where his hand touched my neck.

A snap of a twig, a far-off noise amongst the sound of many, caught my attention, and I threw myself back from the bed. "What was that?"

Jasper was standing, having moved just seconds after myself. All the tenderness had fallen from his face, and what was left almost made him seem like a different person. It had fallen in place instantly as he heard the quick set of footsteps approaching the home.

There was no rage, no nervousness, but there was a certain intensity to him that made me and my monster nervous. I wasn't used to seeing him this way, and it made me want to pace the floor. While I knew his past, I'd not fully encountered him as Jasper the Major. Only Jasper, my friend. Jasper, my mate. It was odd thinking on the fact that they were all the same person, wrapped up into one man.

Jasper coolly walked from the room as the pair of vampires got closer and closer.

I trailed behind him, feeling the need to bolt. I didn't want him to go outside, I didn't want this couple to get close. Who knew what they could do? But I could feel a tenseness in my legs that belonged to a skittish deer, not to myself/

 _I can't leave Jasper._

 _ **Mate, protect.**_

For once we were on the same page, my monster and I. No matter how much my body and mind ached to hightail and run, I could never lever Jasper.

We stood a few feet from the patio, and I could see his eyes trained on the forest near the lake. His arms were folded against his chest in a lax position. He looked so calm, much calmer than myself. I couldn't even make an attempt to hide my skittishness, and I shifted at his side.

How did vampires even find us here? Better yet, who were they and what did they want? Would they hurt us?

My mind flashed to Victoria, and my body tensed up. I clenched and unclenched my hands, uncertain what to do with them. I was still learning how to fight, I had no idea if I would be of any use in an actual battle.

 _Maybe I'm overreacting. They might be nice people._

Two beautiful vampire women breached the tree line, and while I tensed at the unfamiliar faces, Jasper relaxed. The first thing I noticed was that their eyes were a bright gold, which struck me as odd. Peter had told me very few vampires attempted to follow the Cullen's type of diet, even if they wanted to. It was a harder life for vampires to live, so not many practiced it.

"Tanya… Kate," Jasper greeted, unfolding his previously crossed arms. "Nice to see you both."

I looked from him, to the women, a small frown on my face. Despite his ease, I was still unsure. Their names sounded slightly familiar, and I wondered if I'd ever heard them in passing before. Either way, they were total strangers to me and my monster still couldn't properly assess whether they were a threat or not.

"Jasper," the taller blond practically purred, eyes dancing. "It's nice to see you, as well!"

I fought off the ugly frown attempting to settle on my face. I had the strangest urge to bite Jasper again, no matter who was around to witness, and settled for simply having my arms brushing against his, so that my nerves would calm down at least a little.

"And this must be Gwen!" the other woman picked up where her companion left off, smiling brightly as she brushed a few strands of pin-straight blond hair over her shoulder.

I awkwardly waved a hand, before looking up at Jasper quizzically.

"Gwen, this is Tanya and Kate. We spoke of them a couple times when you were human. Tanya is the coven leader of the Denali coven, our extended family," Jasper explained, and laced our hands together.

The two were suddenly mere feet before us, and their sudden movement made a warning hiss escape my lips.

"Oh!" Tanya looked guilty, glancing from my disgruntled expression to Jasper's slight frown. "I forgot she was so young. I should've went slower, I apologize."

"It… It's okay," I said, rubbing the back of my neck to try and work out the nerves tingling there.

Jasper seemed slightly irritated by their presence, but seemed to be putting an effort forth to make sure they didn't notice it. "So, what brings you both here? Last I heard from Carlisle was that you were consoling Irina after Laurent ran off."

A bitter frown touched both women's lips.

"She's still a little.. upset," Kate said, simply, giving a shrug. "We tried to tell her that he wasn't her real mate, but she seemed so sure. We wanted to take a break and come see the family. Eleazer and Carmen decided to stay behind with her."

"We did warn you that he came from a bad sort," Jasper reminded them.

Tanya went to reply, before a soft, puzzled look graced her face. She and Kate turned back towards the woods, just as I realized there were more vampires heading our way. Two, by the sounds of the steps. These steps, however, were much more careful and practical than Tanya and Kate's. While both graceful, this pair made no errors. Stepped on no branches, and barely even startled any of the birds.

Jasper looked down at me, and I realized I was nearly ripping the edge of his rolled back sleeve. The abused fabric was clenched in my fist, but I didn't release my hold.

Two familiar face exited the woods just paces away from where Tanya and Kate had approached.

Peter and Charlotte looked momentarily confused as they stepped out onto the lawn, Peter's eyes glancing to Tanya and Kate, to Jasper, and then to my tight grip on Jasper's sleeve. He approached slower, and made a show of having his hands out so they weren't hidden from view.

I felt a pinch of joy in my stomach, seeing my two vampire friends for the first time in what felt like forever. But, I couldn't get myself to release Jasper's sleeve just yet.

"Well, well, I didn't realize we'd get beaten to the party!" he exclaimed, and stopped about halfway across the yard.

Charlotte met my gaze, and when she saw the recognition in my eyes she gave me a smile.

"I thought you two were going to wait another week before you headed up here," Jasper intoned, his voice clearly unamused with all the new guests.

Peter gave him an affronted look. "Now, Jasper, that just makes it seem like you don't appreciate my company. We needed to leave a little early. It was getting a bit stuffy at casa de Cullen."

Charlotte rolled her golden eyes, coming forward slowly to place a hand on her mate's left shoulder. "He means he was getting on Rosalie's nerves."

Something looked wrong about them. And I realized soon it was the eyes. I'd nearly forgotten their temporary change of diet, so that they'd cause less trouble while with the Cullens. It was so unfamiliar, seeing them both with gold eyes. Not that I didn't like the color, because Jasper captivated me every time he looked at me, but it just wasn't the same on them.

Tanya clasped her hands together, looking amused by Peter. "Well, it seems we have quiet the group to have together! Why don't we go inside and we can all talk!"

I felt a small knot in my throat. I might've been fine if it had just been Peter and Charlotte that had shown up, but now I'd be stuck in a house with them and with two strange vampires. That, and it all happened so suddenly. The less rational part of me nearly felt threatened, and suffocated, being in such a close proximity with them all. It was like someone had just intruded into my personal space without a care in the world.

But, the bigger part of me wanted Jasper to be proud of my progress. _I_ wanted to be proud of my progress. And I wouldn't get more control hiding myself away in forest cabins. No matter how anxious it made me, I needed to be on my best behavior.

As we walked inside, Charlotte slowly came in my side view, and she gave me an encouraging smile. I smiled back, a little wimpy on my part, and let my shoulder bump against hers in a friendly manner.

At least I had my friends.

"Is there a reason why you both have a fuck-ton of feathers stuck in your hair?"

* * *

 **Again, sorry for the wait on the update. And, sorry again that I can't promise a super quick update for next chapter. My husband and I have to make a big move soon, and I'm going to have to find a new job and find us a new apartment in a new city. So, I might be a little stressed and super busy for a while. But I will definitely update when I can!**

 **Thank you all for reading, hope you enjoyed!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Uhhh... Surprise? I live? Kinda. I know I told you all I was going through some irl stuff, I just didn't expect it to take so much out of me. I've spent the last month trying to do this chapter, between work and sleep. I actually scrapped a half a chapter because of how much I ended up hating it. I'm starting to get some flow again, though. I'm going to try my hardest to keep updating. I can't promise anything, because my life is so crazy right now, and I know that's disappointing for a lot of you. The only real thing I can promise to do is try. This story is an amazing outlet for me. I'm having some trouble keeping myself writing, and I've actually been rereading this story a few times and I'm contemplating rewriting it. Nothing major, but more like fixing some errors and adding some bits here and there that deserve more justice. I'll have to see. But, for now, chapter! Thank you all so much for sticking with me.**

* * *

Chapter 19

* * *

 _"Dustfinger inspected his reddened fingers and felt the taut skin. 'He might tell me how my story ends,' he murmured._  
 _Meggie looked at him in astonishment. 'You mean you don't know?'_  
 _Dustfinger smiled. Meggie still didn't particularly like his smile. It seemed to appear only to hide something else. 'What's so unusual about that, princess?' he asked quietly. 'Do you know how your story ends?'_  
 _Meggie had no answer for that."_

 _\- Inkheart, Cornelia Funke_

* * *

I tapped my finger against my thigh, swallowing tightly as I watched the woman in front of me chatter away. The beat of her heart was distracting, drawing my gaze from her eyes to her neck, and I knew I either looked like a creep or like I was damn near constipated. The dryness in my throat was furious, prickling and stinging with each swallow.

Jasper's hand felt heavy in mine, our fingers threaded together and his thumb gently gliding across my knuckles.

"It's really a wonderful movie though, I couldn't not comment when I saw your shirt!" the girl gushed animatedly, gently pushing her glasses back up her nose and adjusting her apron.

Jasper gave my hand a squeeze, and I realized I wasn't breathing. Or, at least attempting to make it look like I was breathing. I quickly moved my chest in what felt like an exaggerated movement, making it look as though I were a normal, breathing, human person.

I blinked a little dumbly, eyelashes fluttering against my cheeks, but then my mouth stretched into a toothy grin, saving me from looking like a total space cadet. "It's one of my favorites. I'm a sucker for good merch, so I had to buy it when I saw it."

The barista nodded emphatically, hands practically on auto pilot as she prepared my cappuccino. "Oh, I don't blame you! I may not get much pay working here, but I'd drop whatever was in my account for good merch. My mom always says I'm too much of a spender, but I figure I've always got instant ramen to get me by when I'm running short. But, here I am, running my mouth, and you're probably ready for your coffee! Here you go, ma'am!"

I chuckled, reaching for the to go cup outstretched in her hand. I tried to ignore the visible shock in her eyes as she felt my chilled skin brush against her own, and I quickly drew the warm cup close to my chest. "Thank you. It was nice talking to someone about my nerdy stuff, he doesn't always understand," I whispered traitorously as I took a sideway glance at Jasper, who mock frowned in response.

The earth, deep smell of the coffee was a good distraction from the sweet smell of her blood, and I placed the cup to my mouth and mimicked taking a sip, but just let the liquid brush up against my lips as I deeply inhaled the rich scent.

She giggled, cheeks flushing as she glanced at Jasper. "No, my boyfriend doesn't always get it either."

"Well, we best be off. Enjoy the rest of your day," I told the girl, releasing Jasper's hand to fish into my pocket, producing a bit of money and tucking it into her brightly decorated tip jar.

I heard her thank us as we turned to leave, and Jasper's hand found my own once more. I saw a couple people glance at us as we exited the coffee shop, and felt a bit of discomfort settle into my stomach. I'd been used to people staring when I thought I was sick, but it had been because they were curious as to why I nearly looked like a walking corpse. Now, they looked like they were almost dazzled just looking at me.

 _They're looking at Jasper,_ I argued weakly. _Anyone would get dazzled looking at him._

 _ **And he's mine.**_

 _Hush, you._

As Jasper and I walked down the sidewalk, I looked up at the cloudy sky. If even just the smallest ray of sun poked through, we could show the whole world what a set of walking disco balls looked like.

I could steadily feel the coffee losing its warmth in my cold grasp. My eyes glanced to the gentlemen Jasper and I had spied before we'd walked into the shop. His cardboard sign was nearly unreadable, due to how crumpled and dirty the surface had become. The poor man had obviously had a hard run of it, for he was staring emptily into his lap.

My dead heart clenched in my chest, and I felt a sad frown touching my lips.

Fishing in my pocket once more, I curled the last of my bills around the cup and I left Jasper's side. The man's dark eyes found mine, and he flinched as I knelt down to his level. "Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I don't mean any harm. It's a cold day outside, why don't you have this?"

He looked at me disbelievingly as I held the warm cup out to him. His eyes glanced at it, almost like he expected it to be empty, but his eyes saw the warm steam rising from the small mouth piece.

"Th-thank you, miss," he said softly, and his eyes nearly bugged out of his head as he felt the bills wrapped around the cup touch the palm of his head. He looked from the mug, to me, eyes clouding with tears. "A-are you angels?"

I grimaced but gave him a small smile as I drew myself back up to my height. My throat felt tight as I joined Jasper in walking back to the truck, and I couldn't tell if it was from emotion or because I was so damn thirsty.

"That was very kind of you," Jasper said quietly, so soft no human would hear. "You won't be able to help everyone, though."

"I know," I whispered, my voice wavering on the edge of tight and joking. "Carlisle and Esme would be _so_ furious if they found out I was constantly withdrawing their money to give it to homeless people."

Jasper snorted out a laugh, bumping his shoulder against my own.

"You're doing amazing," he told me, and I brightened at the compliment.

My throat was on fire, but I couldn't deny his comment. Weeks ago, I would have never believed that I would find myself able to walk down the street again. That I would ever be able to talk to human face to face and actually enjoy the conversation. In my head, I'd believed any sort of interaction with them would've ended up in utter bloodshed.

I smiled as I spied Peter and Charlotte, the two leaning against the truck, giving the two and happy wave. Their eyes were no longer golden, but more of a blood-orange color. The two had switched their diet back a week ago, feeding off any human scum they could find in the city about an hour's drive away. Soon, they'd turned ruby red.

I couldn't say I hadn't thought about trying it, just toyed with the 'what if'. But I was too disgusted by the idea of killing any human, even the bad ones. While I didn't disagree that they deserved what they got, I didn't fancy the idea of being their executioner. It fit for them, but wasn't something I was willing to try myself, nor would it be the path I would force Jasper down. His power made feeding from humans too painful and haunting of an experience for him, and I wouldn't ever think of putting him back in that kind of environment.

So, while their eyes drew redder, mine turned amber.

Peter and Charlotte ran back while we drove, ready to get home and meet up with Tanya and Kate once more. The two had opted to stay at the cabin and hunt, so that I would feel less pressure on our venture into town. This hadn't been my first time, but each time was just as nerve wracking. But I was becoming much more confident in my restraint.

"Honey, I'm home!" I sang as I swung the front door open.

Kate chuckled, flipping a page over in her book. "Yes, yes. You do this almost every time you come home."

I pouted at her, throwing myself onto the couch as softly as I could. "It's just because I love you so much, Katie-cat."

Her golden eyes rolled at the nickname, but she shook her head with a small smile.

"Where's Tanya?" Jasper questioned as he hung his leather jacket up at the front door.

"Eleazar and Carmen called, and they wanted her to come back and speak with Irina. She's becoming a little unhinged about Laurent leaving," Kate explained, her voice concerned for her sister. "She does end up frustrating me a little, so we decided I would stay with you all a bit longer so that the situation doesn't get worse. Tanya can calm her much better than I can."

I hummed in thought, frowning. "I'm going to call Bella. She should be off of school about now."

Laurent, I learned, was part of coven that had attacked my cousin before the Cullens had left Forks. Jasper told me he had seemed interesting in becoming vegetarian, so they'd sent him up to Denali to attempt changing his diet. He'd disappeared, however, after Victoria had started showing herself around Forks and La Push.

To put it plainly, I was worried for Bella's safety, which was a little silly. The rest of the Cullens and a whole pack of wolves were near to help protect her, but my cousin was still a fragile human. Just one mistake, one moment for Victoria to slip in, and Bella could end up dead.

Just as I reached into my pocket for my phone, it started to ring. Bella's name flashed across the screen, and I felt a smile touch my lips.

"Bella!" I chirped, throwing myself onto my bed. "How are you?"

"Gwen! It is you, you're alive."

My brows furred in confusion. The deep voice that came through the receiver was not Bella's, nor was it any of the Cullen males. I'd heard all their voices over the phone before, and it definitely didn't match the unique tones of Edward, Emmett, or Carlisle. It was husky, but familiar. Something about it rung bells in my head, told me I should remember it.

 _What's the name?_

 _I know this voice._

"Jacob?" I whispered softly, eyes widening in realization. I sat up straighter, not bothering to care about the rip I heard from the blanket beneath me as one of my nails cut through it. "Jacob is that you?"

My door creaked open, and Jasper stood in my doorway. We shared a look, and he leaned against the framed with his arms crossed over his chest. He stared at the wall as he listened closely to the phone, his face unreadable.

 _"Jacob, goddamn you, give me my phone-"_

"How could you keep this from me?!" Jacob shouted back, his voice over powering the angry shout of Bella in the background. "Bella, I thought it was my fault. I thought she was going to die alone and it was going to be my fault. How could you not tell me?!"

My eyes flashed to Jasper as I heard the smallest growl emitting from the pit of his throat, his eyes dark. An unhappy look was spread across his face, and he was glaring at the phone.

I reached for him, and he instantly was at my side, settling against me so that I was tucked under his arm. The comfort soothed us both, and his growl slowly died in his throat as he pressed himself against my side.

I listened to the two argue back and forth, a frown on my lips. I was trying to recall the nagging in the back of my mind.

"Gwen, where the hell did you go? How did you get away from the vampires? Charlie's going to shit bricks when he finds out you're okay-"

"No!" Bella and I shouted in unison, and Jasper's arm tensed around my shoulder.

"Jacob, you cannot tell Charlie I'm alive," I ground out into the phone, feeling a pang in my chest. "As much as I love him, he absolutely cannot know. Hell, you shouldn't know."

 _"I'm sorry, Gwen, he saw your name in my texts and took my phone!"_ Bella's voice crackled in the background, sounding thoroughly upset.

"What the hell do you mean? Listen, Gwen, if this has anything to do with what I said," Jacob said softly, his voice dampening. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it, really. I meant none of it. But Sam and the council were on a power trip, they were nearly going to kill you. I meant for you to go home to Montana… but you got kidnapped. I thought you were dead, I thought the vampire's killed you…"

Peter scoffed in offense downstairs, obviously able to hear every word being said, but I ignored him.

My eyes softened, and I remembered.

I remembered many afternoons spent in Jacob's garage, with Bella, Quil, and Embry with us. So much laughter, and so many blurred memories. Jacob had been my friend, one of my best. I remembered when he yelled at me, that fateful night when Peter and Charlotte took me from Forks to save me from the wolves.

The wolves. Jacob was a shapeshifter.

"Look, Jacob," I began slowly. "I can't come home."

"Bullshit! Do you know how hard everyone took you being missing? Your adopted family even came down to visit Charlie. They looked awful, Gwen!" Jacob growled, and I heard a quiver of anger in his voice.

I flinched, and Jasper tensed against me, his hand gently rubbing my shoulder. My free hand busied itself in my hair, parting ringlets into two and untangling curls. Soon Jasper gently pulled it away and captured it between both of his large palms. He soothed his thumbs across my palm, and his pointer finger began tracing the wrinkles of my palm. It was distracting, but it was better than me snagging my own hair repeatedly.

 _"Gwen, he-… He knows. He knows about Edward. And the Cullens,"_ Bella explained.

"Why are you telling her that?!" he yelped, and then went quiet.

"Gwen…" he began softly. "Don't tell me."

I closed my eyes.

"Don't tell me you're one of them."

* * *

 **Sierra Johnson**

* * *

I am not stupid.

I may be young, but I am not _stupid_.

Gwen had been the model older sister for as long as I could remember. No matter what Eric and I needed, she had been there for us, even when she'd been the one needing support. She'd go out of her way to cheer us up, make us laugh, and even to slap some sense into us if it was needed. She was nearly more of a second mother than she was a sister.

It'd been hard, knowing she was destined to die young.

I couldn't even fathom a life without Gwen in it. My goofy, smart older sister who took every punch the world threw with a goddamn smile on her face. It was almost harder to think about losing her than it was to think about losing my own twin.

But I'd come to accept it. I didn't _like_ it. Not one bit. But I wasn't going to snivel and cry when she needed me to be strong. If she didn't allow herself to cry about it, I sure as hell didn't have a right to. Gwen had promised she would be with me, with us, until the bitter end. She was adamant she'd be there for me until her last breath.

So, when Charlie had called, in the middle of the night, and told my mom that Gwen had left to go die some righteous lonely death on her own, I knew something was wrong.

Gwen _promised._ My sister didn't break her promises, not if she had something to do about it.

Through tears and sobs, my mom had held onto Eric and I and had tried to create an explanation. That maybe Gwen didn't want us to see her that way, see her weak. Soon, someone would call and have us identify and come for her, and she could be peacefully buried in Forks with her own birth mother.

But not a single bit of that made sense. Gwen didn't care if we saw how her body acted, hell, we'd all taken a part in helping her around the house.

Eric had seemed to accept it just as blindly as Charlie and my parents had. He'd closed himself off from everyone, even me, his own _twin_. I knew he'd taken up smoking and that his grades were comparable to something found in a toilet, something Gwen would've beat the utter shit out of him for. She'd wanted us to grab the world by the balls and reach our damn dreams, not close off and start habits.

I wanted to throttle him, but I knew there was no point in trying to change his mind. I'd tried once to point out the inconsistencies to him and I nearly thought he was going to about kill me with the fury he'd come at me with. We hadn't physically fought in years, not since we were children, and it had never been that bad. Our parents had to literally pry us off each other, in which he got away with a black eye and myself with a puffy split lip.

I was alone in a house of mourning people, but I didn't always myself to mourn. Because I knew that somewhere out there, my sister was hurt or hiding for some reason.

It was the dead of night when I started hauling my bags out of my room. I'd been subtly packing two bags and hiding them under my bed for the last couple of days.

Plucking nervously at the multitude of buttons and pins stuck in the face of my backpack, I eagerly waited for the text to let me know I was in the clear and could confidently leave the house.

After a few moments, my phone vibrated, and I made my move.

Quietly, I left my room, closing my door softly behind me. I glanced at Eric's door for a few moments, both backpack and duffle bag slung over my shoulder. After a moment, I shook my head and silently descended the stairs, making sure to skip the stair that always groaned whenever it was stepped on.

Gwen had been the one to show me the step and had taught me how to skip it so that we could sneak into the kitchen pantry for snacks at night.

Outside, a black Taurus lingered across the street from my house. I made quick work of shutting the door behind me as quietly as I could and then booking it across the silent street. The only thing I heard was the sound of crickets and my converse hitting the concrete.

I opened the back door, tossing my bags inside, and then dove into the passenger seat. "Okay, I'm ready."

My best friend, Marnie, sat in the driver's seat, looking tired and concerned. She brushed her bangs from her face, before resting her hand on the steering wheel. "Are you positive about this Sierra? If they put out a report they might find you before you even make it to Forks. Besides, you don't even know this guy who's supposed to take you the rest of the way."

"He's my friend, I've known him for a year and a half," I defended, my brows furrowing in frustration.

"You met him on the internet!" she whispered furiously. "You don't have a clue who he is! I don't feel comfortable leaving you with some stranger."

"Marnie, please," I whispered. "You don't understand. I have to get to Washington. The longer I wait, the longer it'll take for me to find out what happened."

Marnie's lips pursed, but she started driving. I mentally sighed, watching as my home faded from the distance, and soon we were on the interstate and under the cover of a sky full of stars.

"It's been months," Marnie whispered, and I groaned, slumping in my seat. "Listen to me, Sierra! What are you going to do when you get there? Her uncle and cousin obviously don't know what happened to her, and they tried looking for her. What makes you think you can find her?"

"They don't know her like I do," I whispered, drumming my fingers against my knees. "There's a lot they could've missed."

Marnie's dark eyes glanced at me doubtfully, and then back to the road.

"Look," I ground out, irritated. "Even if she _is_ dead, I'm not going to wait. She didn't deserve this, Marnie. Dying is one thing, dying alone is another. Say I'm wrong, I don't care! I just want to know what happened to my sister! I'm not going to sit down and just take it like everyone else is."

Her eyes softened as tears started to fall from my eyes, and I furiously wiped at my face with the sleeve of my hoodie, one Gwen had given to me a long, long time ago. "I… I'm sorry, Sierra. I know that if it was my brother, and I was in your place, I'd be the same. I shouldn't be so hard on you. I just don't like going behind our parent's backs like this."

We fell into silence, and I plugged my phone into her car charger. I pulled up my discord app so that I could message my friend, the one who at the border of Montana and Washington.

' _We are on our way now. My friend is a little upset with me.'_

' _Okay! I'll be ready. And don't worry about her, you're just worried about your sister. She should be more understanding.'_

' _I understand where she's coming from, though. She's just concerned.'_

' _Of course. I am, too.'_

I smiled softly and glanced back up at the road. We had a long journey ahead of us.

"Sierra, wake up," Marnie whispered harshly.

My vision blurred, and I yawned loudly as I uncurled myself from the ball I'd formed in passenger seat. It was dark, but we were parked in a nearly empty Walmart parking lot, right at the back.

"This is it?" I asked sleepily, grabbing blindly for my phone.

"Yes," she answered tiredly, and I felt a little guilty as I noticed the bags beneath her eyes.

I squinted as I unlocked my phone and was nearly blinded by the screen, quickly lowering the brightness and tapping on the chat with my friend that was supposed to meet us here.

' _We're here. Black Taurus, like I said.'_

It took a moment, then there was a reply.

' _I'm in the blue van, just a few rows ahead.'_

Glancing out the window, squinting into the harsh darkness ahead, and quickly spotted the vehicle. "Okay, that's him. I guess this is it… Thank you so much Marnie, I am sorry for dragging you into this. But I'll never be able to thank you enough for helping me."

Marnie didn't say anything, her lips frowning as she glanced at the van. "Sierra… are you sure about this?"

"Of course," I said confidently.

She locked eyes with me, and I was surprised to see the intensity in her look. "I… Look, I don't like this. This feels wrong. You should come back home with me. I know you wanted to get to Forks, but I really, _really_ don't like this."

"I'll call you if anything happens, I promise," I swore, grabbing her hand tightly in mine. "Look, I'm not a total airhead. I brought pepper spray, I have it in my bad and I'll make sure to put it in my pocket before I get in. I trust him Marnie. I know, stranger danger and all that, but I don't think he's going to hurt me. He sincerely wants to help me. Hell, you've been with me when I've talked to him."

She bit her lip, before sighing. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I know, I've heard him and talked to him too. My mom just has it drilled into my head that every person you meet on the internet is some creepo out to steal you."

I chuckled. Marnie's mom was always an intense woman. "Momma Wheeler is a smart lady, but we know him. _I_ know him. He'll get me to Forks, like he promised."

Marnie threw her arms around me, and I was quick to hug her back just as tightly.

When I got out of the car and had my pepper spray in the pocket of my hoodie and my bags across my shoulders, I felt a lot less confident. Obviously, this was better than hitchhiking. I'd talked to Ethan for the last year and half, and he'd been a huge comfort for me with loosing Gwen. He'd talked to me while I cried, and was always supportive.

But standing on the damp concrete, with the cold night air nipping at my fingers and nose, I felt much less confident.

I couldn't show it, though, or Marnie would try to take me back. Or, even worse, call my parents and tell them what she'd helped me do.

Walking across the lot, I could see his outline as I approached the van. He turned on the light as I got within sight, and I breathed a sigh of relief seeing the same, young face I'd seen in all the selfies he'd shared with me. Cropped brown hair, bright baby blues, and a lovely smile.

 _Gwen did always say to go for the guys with good smiles,_ I thought wryly, a shy smile crossing my face and I opened the passenger seat.

"Hey," he greeted, his smile meeting his voice. "Ready?"

I glanced over my shoulder at Marnie's car, then gave her a wave in farewell and let Ethan pull my bags into his car and put them in the back seat.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I stated, clicking my seat belt tight and closing the door behind me.

He started the vehicle, soft jazz playing from the radio as the van came to life. I watched Marnie's car in the rear view mirror, and she didn't start driving until she saw us pulling out of the parking lot.

"It's nice to finally meet the world's best team healer," Ethan joked, giving me a sideways grin.

The air got less tense as he joked, reassuring me more and more that he was the person I knew him to be.

We fell into avid conversation as he drove, talking about our favorite games and everything else under the sun we'd discussed before. It was a nice distraction from my mission, and Ethen made me feel a lot more comfortable as time went on.

* * *

 **Gwen Swan**

* * *

We all sat together in the living room, a deck of cards scattered across the table top as we laughed and joked around together. It was moments like these that made me forget I was a vampire. That any of us were actually different. We were just people, friends, having a good time together without worry.

"Man, you may be good at video games but you sure as hell ain't got luck with the cards, little one," Peter chuckled, playing his hand.

I glared at him.

"He's not wrong," Jasper muttered softly from my right.

I swung around to face him. "Hey! No need to be rude! I don't tell you guys that you suck when I kick your asses at video games."

Jasper leveled me with a look, and I could feel the waves of amusement coming off of him. "Yes, you do."

I faltered, scowling, and Charlotte and Kate laughed at the look on my face. "I'm going to tell the others you're all bullying me. I feel personally attacked."

Jasper chuckled, his hand reaching out to tuck my hair behind my ear. "Don't be a sore loser, angel."

I attempted to frown at him, but the gentleness to his touch had melted my insides to mush. My chest felt warm from his affection, and I too eagerly leaned into his touch.

The sun was coming up, peaking through the curtains of the backdoor. The beam of light that peaked in was causing several of us to glitter wherever it hit us, and I had to hold in the laughter that threatened to bubble out of my throat. Nothing like a room full of blood sucking _disco balls_ to really make it a party.

We continued having a good time, with several instances of me swearing that poker was a rigged game and shouldn't be played, until Jasper's phone began to ring.

"I needed a break, anyway," Kate said, standing as Jasper fished into his pocket for his cellphone. "I'll be back in a bit, I want to get some hunting in today."

She was nothing but a blur as she disappeared out the backdoor, and I watched with amusement as Peter slowly reached a hand out to the cards she'd laid face down on the table once she was out of ear-shot.

"Peter," Charlotte chastised, slapping the back of his hand.

"Hey!" he pouted, "I think we all deserve a little advantage. She's kicking all of our asses, even the major, and he can literally feel us bluffing!"

Jasper scowled at him as he finally answered his phone call. "Alice? Everything okay?"

 _"Hi everyone!"_ The pixie chirped, obviously knowing that Jasper wasn't alone in the room. Something about her tone was off, though. While still cheery and bright, it sounded like there was a note of irritation in her voice.

"What does the great magic eight ball have to say today?" Peter asked

 _"I wish it was better news, honestly."_

We all straightened a little, and I was suddenly anxious. I hoped nothing had happened to Bella, who I'd been worrying over ever since I finally got clued in on Victoria still hanging around, even after she'd been chased off from our car crash encounter. Alice had been regularly checking on Victoria's future, trying to see where she was or get some sort of idea as to what she was planning.

 _"I'm not going to beat around the bush, guys… I finally got some clear sights of Victoria, and it looks like she's made a newborn army."_

The growls that left the other three vampires in the room made me jump, the hairs on the back of my neck raising. I felt a little sick to my stomach. _A newborn army? Just like what Maria had done with Jasper, Peter, and Charlotte? Jesus._

"When is she coming, Alice?" Jasper asked, and his body had gone completely rigid at my side.

I frowned softly, and took his spare hand into my own. His grip on me bordered on painful, but it slowly softened as I soothed my fingers across his palm and knuckles. I could feel the thanks he pulsed my way, and continued my ministrations to keep him a little calmer.

 _"She'll be here at the end of the week. I know Gwen's still a little weary about coming home, but we really need your guys' help. I've looked and I don't see anything bad happening with you all returning early. Kate will come, too. It'll be helpful. But, look, the wolves in La Push have agreed to help protect Bella. But they don't know real fights like this, Jas."_

Alice's voice was tight as she fed us what she knew, but my mind was reeling. Was I ready to come back? Even though the Cullen's home was a ways out of town, it was still so _close_. And I would be right up and personal with Bella, who I'd been warned before smelled extremely good. What if I attacked my cousin? One of my best friends?

And the wolves? After my phone call with Jacob, I couldn't really fathom seeing him again. He'd sounded so awful when he'd asked me if I was a vampire, like it was an insult. He'd hung up on me just after, my silence confirming his worst suspicions. Bella had called me a half hour later, spewing apologies.

Then, there would be a battle. Jasper had been taking great care in teaching me how to fight from my first few waking moments as a vampire. The last week, everyone had been helping take part in helping me hone not only my fighting skills, but also my power. Kate had proven to be an immense help in that. She'd taught me how to use my power much quicker and more fluidly, turning her power on and off like a light switch until it was practically second nature.

And then second chord, the one I'd felt pulling in my stomach. The second part of my power that had lingered in the recesses of my mind. She'd help me not only activate it, but work on strengthen it.

It'd be a useful tool in a fight, but who knew how I would actually react on the battle field. I'd not _actually_ fought anyone. Even while training with the group, I knew they wouldn't really hurt me. This would be different. These other vampires would be trying to kill me, and my friends. Trying to kill my _mate_.

"We'll come home," Jasper agreed, his eyes glancing at me and holding onto my gaze.

The trust and reassurance in his eyes made me feel almost guilty that I felt so nervous about returning. He believed in me a hell of a lot more than I believed in myself.

He pushed out some feelings of comfort, along with a gentle squeeze of one of my hands in his.

"Those reservation kids will need proper teachin'," Peter muttered, seemingly half talking to us and halfway to himself. "I doubt they've encountered that many vampires, much less a whole group of newborns."

Charlotte nodded, but looked uncomfortable. "How do we know that they won't attack us? They know Peter and I are human drinkers."

 _"We swore that you wouldn't feed anywhere near Forks or La Push. I'm sorry, you guys will have to go all the way into Seattle to feed. It was the only way to get them to agree to have you two around."_

Peter had tucked Charlotte under his arm, looking pretty grumpy about working alongside the wolves, but accepted Alice's instructions quietly.

"Give us a few hours to pack. We'll make it back in time to start some sort of training," Jasper muttered, removing his hand from mine to comb it through his hair. "Have you seen where the battle is going to happen, Alice?"

 _"Yes. Emmett and Rosalie scoped it out and found the clearing. We know where they'll emerge from, but that's where most of my information stops. I can't see much with the wolves involved, and Victoria isn't making many choices for me to properly look for. It's like she's found a loophole in my power,"_ Alice snapped, her voice more irritated. It was more than obvious that she wasn't very used to going into things blind, so the wolves causing dark spots was probably very frustrating.

I didn't like this, not one bit. None of it sounded right. We'd been standing on the precipice of this, we knew Victoria wouldn't just stay hidden forever, but she'd picked just the right time for herself. She probably had no idea the Cullens had changed me and that they'd have a few more vampires on their side, and that gave us an advantage, but I was also still a newborn.

 _I've trained for this. I haven't pretended to drink nasty coffee multiple times just to fail._

 _"You guys should arrive in good time. But… there is one more thing. I'm sorry, it's a terrible time to bring it up but I know Gwen will hear it one way or another,"_ Alice trailed off, her voice sounding unsure.

" _Gwen, I'm sorry, but I had a vision. In two days, your sister is going to show up at Charlie's. She ran away from home and she'll make it here in the early morning."_

Of course, she would. Sierra was more stubborn than a bull. I could remember her beautiful drawings, and all the laughter and tears we'd shared together. While I loved my siblings equally, Sierra had been the most dependent on me and in turn had shared a much deeper connection with me than Eric. But I couldn't see her. It wouldn't be possible.

"Okay," I breathed, feeling my dead heart clench in my chest. My baby sister would be just within my reach, and I wouldn't be able to see her. Better yet, I could end up being a danger to her.

" _It's not just that… Gwen, when she arrives, she is going to show up with a vampire."_

* * *

 **Alright! We're progressing with the story. I know you all would love more Gwen/Jasper fluff and I fully intend to get to that. But, we had to transition some more of the plot! I hope you all enjoyed it, and I thank you all again for sticking around this long. Hopefully, I'll have another chapter up for you all sometime soon.  
**


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